A friend of mine wanted me to fix his dad's computer. I asked how it got messed up, he responds with "his friends keep sending him porn and eventually it just messed up his computer!" Yeah, that's totally how it happened.
A guy I knew claimed he was VAC banned because "he was soo good at counter-strike that valve got suspicious". So remember not to be [i]too[/i] good at a game on Steam!
I knew someone who tried to give away their Half-Life 2 because "it just wasn't my kind of game..." when he actually never played it because his computer was too Windows 98'ish to even start the game.
Your turn.
here's a bad comeback
"I too have a Nuclear Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works!"
ur mom
Worst comeback I've ever heard, I heard from an idiot who attended my middle school. Although I don't condone people using gay as an insult, his response was priceless:
"Oh yeah, I'm gay. Do you want to see my penis?"
Not sure how us seeing his penis was supposed to convince us of his heterosexuality.
On the other hand, the best comeback I've ever heard occurred between my brother and his friend. We were playing Rocket League, and the friend kept shouting "suck my dick!" every time he scored points in the game. At one point, my brother gave up a goal, and got pissed at himself. This exchange:
Brother: "I don't even know what the fuck I was trying to do there..."
Friend: "Were you suckin' my dick!?"
Brother: "N-no-"
Friend: "Don't lie to me, I was there!"
[QUOTE=B!N4RY;53026729]ur mom[/QUOTE]
you're mom
Literally anything the barely-literate morons in the Rust section and discord channel come up with to claim they were unfairly banned.
[QUOTE=Yoke;53026808]you're mom[/QUOTE]
yes
I was about to sell something the other day on a Buying & Selling group on FB. At the [I]very last minute[/I] the girl messaged me telling me she won't be able to collect "because her dog ate her £20 note." :what:
Me: what are you supposed to be for Halloween?
Girl: this. *is wearing a Jamaican flag sweater*
Me: I don't get it.
Girl: I'm going as a Jamaican person.
I bet you shower naked you slut
[QUOTE=Shirt.;53031271]I bet you shower naked you slut[/QUOTE]
That's going in my book.
Last week at the theater there was a dude on the phone in a bathroom stall, and I didn't catch the whole conversation but he was saying that he was cleaning his room. Then when someone made noise when drying their hands he claimed that it was a hairdryer and that he had just showered.
As a young kid, someone I was arguing with came back with "You're an retart" :v:
Not the worst one ever, but when I was a kid the "I'm rubber and you're glue!" thing pissed me off so much that I ended up punching a girl in the face in 2nd grade when she said that. Not my proudest moment.
“You’re just mad”
“You mad?”
“Dude dont be so mad”
basically the shitty trap card of arguing/disagreement. You could be talking in the most chill tone, but once they pull that card you’re suddenly super pissed, and you could be like “I’m not mad just telling you you’re wrong” and it’ll only end with “hahahahaha you’re so mad”
"But Clinton Crime family....."
[QUOTE=ShimTaco;53045127]“You’re just mad”
“You mad?”[/QUOTE]
"You mad" is the ultimate "shit I ran out of stuff to say but I have to make it sound like I'm winning!" move. So they just keep repeating that same meme shit because they think they're saving face when they're actually just really butthurtish.
One of my teachers in school asked a dude what his excuse was for not turning in his homework.
He said: "my mother threw it at a dog chasing our bike on the way to school."
Cue stunned look on teacher's face as whole class bursts out laughing.
"Look, 9/11 wasn't an inside job."
"Yeah you are right... it was actually a hoax!"
[QUOTE=ShimTaco;53045127]“You’re just mad”
“You mad?”
“Dude dont be so mad”
basically the shitty trap card of arguing/disagreement. You could be talking in the most chill tone, but once they pull that card you’re suddenly super pissed, and you could be like “I’m not mad just telling you you’re wrong” and it’ll only end with “hahahahaha you’re so mad”[/QUOTE]
"triggered?" is the new "you mad?"
"We don't need an antivirus. [i]You[/i] need one because you didn't set up your computer right." :downs:
friend: "you look stupid"
me: "why?"
friend: "cause people think you're retarded if you do jokes like that"
that's the point of the joke you ned.
This takes place around 2003, when almost everyone had dial-up/aol.
Me: your internet isn't helping me right now...
Friend: well at least it's faster than [i]your[/i] internet!
Me: we both have 56k dude...
Friend: yeah I think we got 96k!
[QUOTE=xZippy;53051270]This takes place around 2003, when almost everyone had dial-up/aol.
Me: your internet isn't helping me right now...
Friend: well at least it's faster than [i]your[/i] internet!
Me: we both have 56k dude...
Friend: yeah I think we got 96k![/QUOTE]
People who don't know anything about something particular and yet brag about it are the worst.
[QUOTE=megafat;53052515]People who don't know anything about something particular and yet brag about it are the worst.[/QUOTE]kind of a specific thing but i absolutely [I]loathe[/I] when someone tries giving someone else advice and yet knows nothing about what they're talking about
What's the difference? You're their alltime best seller!
[QUOTE=megafat;53052515]People who don't know anything about something particular and yet brag about it are the worst.[/QUOTE]
Oh, this kid was born in 1990 and claims the Nintendo he had was "the first Nintendo ever made". There's people who are bad at lying, then there's people who have a habit of lying all the time. He was both.
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