How to convince my brother that he smells and should go do something about it? - General

My brother is 24 or something (I don't care anymore to remember) and he still lives at home like a mooching bum. I try to consider myself an only child because he's a lazy idiot who I wish I had nothing to do with. He always smells. And I mean not just a little stink, EVERYTHING. He smells of sweat and wet dog (we don't even HAVE a dog) all the time and his breath always stinks horribly. Like shit. I wish he would just go the fuck away. Every time he comes down stairs, he fills any room he goes into with stink. And every time my mom, dad, or I tell him that he stinks and to go take care of it by AT LEAST PUTTING ON DEODORANT, he blows up at us. Ranting on how he has this "disorder" or something that makes his breath stink no matter what he does. (I've never fucking seen him brush his teeth) And he says he knows that he smells but gives no reason NOT to take care of it. Or just comes up with some stupid excuse like "Well I'm too tired." He has sat with my parents and I at dinner time and smelled so bad that we had to get up and leave to finish eating elsewhere. He has a job, a car, and a fiancee but everyone keeps complaining of his stink. Sometimes he goes to work smelling like shit. So, options on how to make him stop being a lazy fuck in denial and actually make him do something about his wretched smell?? P.S. To add on top of all this, sometimes he goes months without a shower.

put him in the car, go to the car wash, Open all the windows and lock the doors.

Sounds like a fun idea but I don't think his shitty insurance covers water damage on the interior... :v:

[QUOTE=imperialrock;30380557]put him in the car, go to the car wash, Open all the windows and lock the doors.[/QUOTE] Do this.

Or tie him on the car and drive through it.

Enter his room with a gas mask and a gameboy color. Look around, holding the gameboy like it were a Geiger counter, imitate the sound of it, too. Slowly walk towards him while increasing the frequency and intensity of the clicks. Take out a cottonswab and a test tube. Rub the cottonswab on him, stick it in the test tube, put a cork in it and slowly get out. Do this every hour.

Buy a big ol' can of Oust and put a rubber band and something to press down on the nozzle on the top so it sprays automatically. Open his bedroom door, yell "Flash Out!" and let the can do its work.

[QUOTE=Angry Pineapple;30380923]Buy a big ol' can of Oust and put a rubber band and something to press down on the nozzle on the top so it sprays automatically. Open his bedroom door, yell "Flash Out!" and let the can do its work.[/QUOTE] That would be the safer idea, only if Oust didn't make my throat swell and close up whenever it would be sprayed...

Grab a crapload of those "febreeze" canisters, ductape them together, ductape their triggers so they're constantly spraying. Do this while he's sleeping, and put the reverse stink bomb near his butt. He'll think he's farting love and good smells.

buy him a bar of soap and say "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PUT THIS UNDER YOUR ARMS PLEASE!"

Smack him with a brick... uh I don't know what to do about the smell though.

Make fun of him non stop about being a fat smelly tub of shit. [editline]11th June 2011[/editline] Also buy a gas mask and use it whenever he enters the room.

[QUOTE=Motherfucker;30384680]Make fun of him non stop about being a fat smelly tub of shit. [editline]11th June 2011[/editline] Also buy a gas mask and use it whenever he enters the room.[/QUOTE] lold hard

Get a job in the online section of the FBI, and then edit the website so that he's #1 on the Most Wanted list for 'Smelling. Badly.' Then put it on his Facebook or something. My plans are wildly impractical, but they would eventually work! (Maybe.)