Post your own programmer jokes here.
Example:
[b]Q: [/b]A squirrel and an adult bear are standing at the same distances from you. Why does the bear appear smaller than the squirrel?
[b]A: [/b]The bear was ZIPPED.
[QUOTE=KD007;16807349]Post your own programmer jokes here.
Example:
[b]Q: [/b]A squirrel and an adult bear are standing at the same distances from you. Why does the bear appear smaller than the squirrel?
[b]A: [/b]The bear was ZIPPED.[/QUOTE]
That's not really all that funny, but oh well.
What happens when facepunch fights in WWII?
It has a DDOS-day! HAR HAR!
[QUOTE=jjsullivan;16807589]That's not really all that funny, but oh well.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, they're programmer jokes.
Since I posted, here's another one:
[b]Q: [/b]Why did the programmer think it was Christmas on Halloween?
[b]A: [/b]Because he thought that OCT 31 was DEC 25.
XAR XAR!
what did one programmer say to the programmer
"i hate my life and ill never get laid just kill me"
[QUOTE=KD007;16807612]Yeah, they're programmer jokes.[/QUOTE]
That wasn't a programmer joke :raise:
That was a computer geek joke.
[editline]07:43PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Membarn;16807661]what did one programmer say to the programmer
"i hate my life and ill never get laid just kill me"[/QUOTE]
this is true i can vouch for it
[QUOTE=Membarn;16807661]what did one programmer say to the programmer
"i hate my life and ill never get laid just kill me"[/QUOTE]
Thankfully I am against that stereotype and I get laid.
Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”
-
Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!”
To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”
-
There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and benchmarks.
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Have you heard about the new Cray super computer? It’s so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.
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[img]http://www.devtopics.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/comic.jpg[/img]
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Q. How did the programmer die in the shower?
A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
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How many programers dose it take to change a light bulb?
None – It’s a hardare problem
a programmer walks into a bar and he says "ouch"
[QUOTE=Membarn;16807766]a programmer walks into a bar and he says "ouch"[/QUOTE]
best joke in this thread
[QUOTE=nubcakez;16807753]
A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!”
To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”
[/QUOTE]
I lol'd
[b]CIA – Computer Industry Acronyms[/b]
CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can’t See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.
WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW: What You See Is What You Might Get If You’re Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well.
[b]Why computers are like men:[/b]
In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
[b] Why computers are like women: [/b]
No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
Well now we know Programming jokes sucks.
So I said to my buddy the other day, "01101001010010101".
He replied, "10010110101101010101"
Completely shocked by such crude and profane language, I exclaimed, "0111010100010100111001101!!!"
Enraged by the accusation, and feeling wrongly persecuted, he reacted violently, [highlight]"0110011101010001010101010!!!!!!"[/highlight]
After this impassioned explanation, I realized that we simply had a misunderstanding. I apologized promptly, "Sorry about that, I thought you threw a two in there."
I remember that FoxTrot one. Good times, good times :v:
why programmers fail as geometers?
they think there is 1024m in a km
why geomerts fail as porgrammera?
they think there 1000B in a kB but little do they know that b and kb is different from B and kB and b is bit and B is byte and there really is 1000b in kb coz it stand for kilobits
[editline]12:15AM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Yumyumbublegum;16807790]best joke in this thread[/QUOTE]
old. also it wasnt originally a programmer joke
sarcasm
Q:Why did the Mac computer cross the road backwards?
A: To avoid being raped by the Windows computer following it
[QUOTE=nubcakez;16807753]
A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!”
To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”
[/QUOTE]
I felt smart when I read that. c:
root@KD007 / >
what do you want to enter there if KD007 is me in computer form
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