Joe Schmoe is just your average, hard working middle class man who is employed at a toothpaste factory. What does he do throughout his day?
Lets start on a sensible note:
[B]7:00 AM[/B] - Joe Schmoe wakes up and gets dressed for work.
[b]7:10 AM[/b] - Joe Schmoe realizes he didn't beat off before getting dressed for work. He fixes this.
[B]7:15 AM[/B] - Joe Schmoe gets caught beating off.
[B]6:50 AM[/B] - Joe Schmoe gets caught time travelling.
[b]7:00 AM[/b] - Joe kills Joe and replaces Joe. Joe wakes up and gets dressed for work.
[B]7:01 AM[/B] - Joe realizes he killed the wrong Joe.
[B]7:05 AM[/B] - Joe gets a headache from all this and goes back to sleep.
[B]Next Day[/B]
[B]7:00 AM[/B] - Joe Schmoe wakes up and gets dressed for work.
[del][B]6:66 AM[/B] - Joe dreams of taking over the world with the help of Satan and ends up altering the timeline forever.[/del]
[b]7:30[/b] - Joe goes to Denny's and orders a grandslam.
[B]7:33 AM[/B] - Joe Schmoe trips over, falls flat on his face and gets knocked out for half an hour.
[b]8:00 AM[/b] - Joe loses track of time and decides to kill some by browsing Facepunch for a while. The next post reminds him that he still needs to go to work.
8:30 AM - Joe calls a local prostitute.
[B]8:35 AM[/B] - Joe accidentally runs over local prostitute with his hot pink Prius.
[B]8:36 AM[/B] - Joe try to aid the prostitute only to find out she was a zombie.
[B]8:40 AM[/B] - Joe Schmoe screams and runs away like a little girl
[B]8:45 AM[/B] - Joe Schmoe realises he possesses the truest and most fundamental form of reality, with all other entities in the universe being mere reflections of his own perfection of form and function. This realisation is followed quickly by nausea.
[B]8:50 AM[/B] - Joe realized that was the grand slam from Denny's and promptly vomits.
[B]8:51 AM[/B] - Joe is publicly humiliated since a bunch of kids on the school bus hollered and hooted at him and his pile of puke...
[B]8:53 AM [/B] Spaghetti ejects from all of Joe's orifices
[B]8:54 AM[/B]- Joe is then pissed on by a dog immediately after and shat on by a bird
[B]9:00 AM[/B] Joe decides he's had enough of this shit (figuratively and literally) and goes to work
[B]9:30-[/B] Joe suddenly realizes that if birds can shit on people he should be able to shit on people too. Then proceeds to shit out of the window of his office building.
[B]9:35 AM - [/B] Whilst shitting out of the window of his office building, a pigeon flies up Joe's butt, going all the way in.
[B]9:47[/B] Joe Dies
[B]10:00[/B] You are now Joe the Zombie! What wacky zany adventures will you go on now?
[B]12:00pm [/B]Joe wanders around trying to bite people. Unfortunately he's very slow so people just kind of walk around him.
Also the pigeon up his ass turns into a zombie too
[B]12:02 PM[/B] Joe shambles while he moans
[B]1:00 AM[/B] - Joe sneaks up on a Wal-Mart greeter and eats his ear.
[B]2:00 AM[/B] Joe now cleverly remarks that they are now a Wal-Mart greet-ear.
[B]2:25 A.M.[/B]- Joe Schmoe realizes he left the fridge open and the sink running.
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