[B]Post your DnD / RP stories! I've got a collection of them, but I love a good DnD or RP game story, especially when they make they surprise the GM.[/B]
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No one? Dissapointing
This youtuber I watch, zisteau, has a dnd character that he has talked about in some of his minecraft episodes, and the backstory is quite funny. His character is a dwarf, who thinks he's a wizard. He believes his axe is a wand, or staff. When he swings it at his enemies, he thinks he's casting spells, but he's really just cutting them to bits.
Well, once in a game I was GMing the party accidentally on purpose blew up the Empire State Building.
In another game I was uninvolved in, the infamous Nerts of the DnD thread accidentally nuked all of Chicago with a critically failed roll.
I was playing Warhammer Fantasy roleplay with some friends once. My character is Braggi Ashenbeard, an eccentric dwarf master engineer. Our party consisted of a Bright Wizard, an elf archer, a human duelist, and yours truly. I believe the scenario was that we were heading to a Garden of Morr to investigate the possibility of a necromancer there. After slaying a multitude of skeletons, the necromancer shows himself and proceeds to mash all of the skeletons into a massive monstrosity in the likes of Nito. We all run and end up near a cliff, which I just so happen to fall off of on accident. While rolling to see what happens, I remember that I had bought a chicken back in town in case we needed to set up camp, so I said that Braggi pulls out the chicken in hopes that it will slow his fall. Well, I manage to roll a twenty, and the GM, with the most confused look on his face, just says, "Turns out that chicken wasn't a chicken, but an eagle, and a big one at that. It lifts you up and drops you back on the cliff, and then proceeds to swoop down and grabbing the necromancer before flying away. Without the necromancer's magic, the skeletal monstrosity falls apart. You return to Altdorf and are heralded as heroes for doing basically nothing."
I have a few I guess, it was a while ago though.
Me and a gang of friends were playing D&D over the Internet with Fantasy Grounds II, these are from the same campaign. 3.5E I believe. You'll have to forgive me for forgetting the fine details as this was quite a while ago.
Early on in the campaign we, a ragtag group of mercenaries, hired by some dude named Damien, set off to look in a tower or smaller castle of some description.
Place had a few lesser demons in it, nothing too bad we couldn't handle.
After a while of killing we entered a room with a locked door.
Didn't seem like any of us could open it.
One of our guys, Svend, looked at us and said "Don't worry guys, I got this" and he rolled Tumble.
Natural 20.
He runs forward and tumbles towards the door with such force it breaks off its hinges and instantly kills the poor sod that was behind it, leaving a wet stain on the ground.
We come in after Svend and finish off the two others in the room.
--
Later on we stumble upon a village housing a warlord. As Damien, our boss, had been taken, we searched for him. The warlord ruled the place with an iron grip. We first saw him angrily talking to a woman in the town square with many people standing around observing.
We didn't speak their language so we had to pick up on what they were talking about from people in the circle around the two. Sadly I cannot remember what it was about.
We enter a local pub and we immediately see three men of the warlords' army standing by a young lass at the bar, she was quite clearly uncomfortable and not enjoying the gentlemen's company, so we decide to go in and help her out.
[URL=http://horobox.co.uk/u/Jojje_1316923372.jpg]Dinu, our Rogue hands Svend a bottle of beer off a table and he cracks it over the head of one of the soldiers. Rolls a natural 20 and crits, killing the guy instantly.[/URL] A few other soldiers rush in to assist and we are eventually overpowered and thrown into the dungeon.
We manage to get the key off of a guard in our prison room, there were only two of them so we quickly took care of them.
It's worth mentioning at this point that as a Bard I have quite high Charisma and Bluff. Me and Dinu head outside, the rest of our party stay in the prison room. We happen along a few guards but they couldn't beat my high Bluff rolls so I manage to convince them we're supposed to be there and just passing along.
First order of business was getting our gear back, second was finding out where Damien was.
We get to the armory and see our gear behind a door guarded by two men. I make up a story about why we need new armor and weapons, but they say they can't let us in without explicit orders. We head back to the jail cells and have Svend forge an order for us. We show it to the guards, they're a bit reluctant to accept it, but with some pushing from my part they agree to let us in.
At this point I look at the guards and say "Hey, we're gonna be hauling a lot of equipment here, would you guys mind giving us a hand?"
The guards were very friendly and were happy to carry our gear back to our party for us.
I ended up getting a permanent boost to Bluff with all that shit I pulled, it was insane.
--
Quite a bit later, after Svend had gotten his arm cut off, he'd gotten a cannon grafted onto his arm.
We're fighting a boss right now, it was some sort of gigantic insect.
Svend takes aim at the bug and fires, [B]rolling two natural 20s and double-critting[/B] and taking basically all of its health.
58 damage. We're Level 4.
The DM is not happy with this, as we've gotten lucky crits on bosses and killed them instantly before.
"This shit always happens, I spend a lot of time writing a badass boss encounter and you kill it instantly."
So he had the boss stab me through the chest with its' stinger, lift up into the air and let me go.
I didn't survive that.
At one point our archer decided to pray to Satan, got a 20 and transformed into a demon.
Sadly we never finished the campaign but our DM is tinkering on a new one right now.
TL;DR: Svend is a baller motherfucker and I have a silver tongue
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I played a really ghetto version of DnD in the Air Force. I was in med-hold, so we had copious amounts of time with nothing to do and nowhere to go. We used a calculator's random feature as our dice, since dice and gambling items were banned. Now, the short introduction is as follows:
Our group consisted of two two-handers (barbarian and eastern swordsman), two archers (bow and crossbow), a druid/guide run by the DM, and me. Me, the only guy to bring a shield as a generic fighter. So beyond all the arrow traps everyone but me practically died in; I seemed to be the only voice of reason. The DM was on all sorts of super heavy pain-killing drugs, so he flowed with whatever everyone else did.
We come across a chest. Of course, Kieve, our barbarian decides that no chest is left behind despite the fact this is a starting dungeon and we're all dying at 1-3/5 HP. It was weird rules. Naturally, it's locked. Kieve will have none of this and begins to attack it with his axe. The chest weathers the attacks with ease and Kieve almost breaks his axe during a try or two. Finally, our rouge-ish archer pitches in and tries to lockpick it. A dart flies out and hits him in the back of the neck. It's poisoned, but only mildly. He's at 1HP. Kieve continues to hit it. I bide my time to search around the room for generic leavers, trick-books, moveable dodads, etc. Other archer tries to lock-pick. Same thing happens. Swordsman tries to hack at it. DM at least knows katanas are full of shit and the guy ends up breaking his sword. Second archer, at 2/5HP, decides he'll give it another go, borrowing my shield to protect himself. Dart comes from different direction. We're all basically clinging to life now.
First archer has had enough. He uses his crossbow and either scored what I assume was a 20 followed by a 1. The bolt went right into the keyhole. And lodged in. And from three different directions came darts at a rate of about ten a second, from each way. Not only did we almost drown in darts; not only did drugged DM almost die of laughing; but once we found the simple mechanism to open the chest, it only contained a single piece of armor and some arrows. And that's how we spent two fucking nights in med-hold trying to open a chest. :v:
My friends and I like to play an extremely relaxed, no-rules type of role play. Last night, I was DM. The situation was that my friends went on a boating vacation and landed on an island because they were out of fuel. Their goal was to get more boat fuel.
After a bit of standard stuff, one of my friends contracted super gonorrhea from a demon hooker, giving him a flamethrower penis ability. Another of my friends found an unbreakable condom. The third friend had a brilliant idea to use the unbreakable condom as a hot air balloon on the flamethrower penis, allowing them to leave the island without getting the boat fuel. I just let them win because it was so great.
Ahhhh, there we go. Some nice, juicy DnD stories.
Damn I wish all my friends weren't meat-heads, can't find a game to join where I am.
Keep em coming!
Like cardfan, my friends and I sometimes just roll a dice and make up a story with no rules.
One day, I started it off with "You are standing at a crossroads." Now, I don't know exactly where it went from there, but it involved space travel, cars with swords strapped on, Pig Nazis, three alternate universes (each with alternate versions of each character, all being player controlled) a flying pork fortress, one player becoming three-legged Timelord Jesus (through a teleportation accident, getting time travel abilities from the Chernobyl blast, and willing himself out of existence, respectively), and Christopher Walken who changed his last name to Wobblin' after being crippled by a cannibal.
[QUOTE=DudeGuyKT;42063206]Like cardfan, my friends and I sometimes just roll a dice and make up a story with no rules.[/QUOTE]
That's how we do it usually. Lets things be more relaxed and freeform. We don't really bother with XP for instance, DM just tells us whenever our party levels up, and we tend to be able to use as many spells as we want per day.
Was playing DnD 3.5e
While fighting the big bad evil lich monster in the climactic end fight of the campaign, the obligatory useless bard of the group decided to use the rod of wonder he found earlier.
It opens a gate to hell and summons a fiendish T-rex which eats the lich.
A while back me and my group decided to play Only War. For those who don't know, Only War is a 40k roleplaying system that has you take on the roll of a small squad of Imperial-Guardsmen.
I'm not too well versed in 40k lore, so forgive any inaccuracies.
I made a commissar character who had a few extra points in Operate Surface (like draiving cars and tanks and shit) because nobody else put shit in it except for like one dude who only had one point in it.
The other characters iirc were a marksman that used mostly las weaponry, a sergeant who was the one dude to put a point in Operate Surface, and two mostly generic grunts.
Our squad of misfits was tasked to go clear out this Promethium (like the 40k equivalent of that stuff in the explosives barrels in doom) station that has been over run with Orks.
The only issue was that Bolter fire would cuase teh entire plant to explode and we'd either die or be executed.
We weren't too worried that we couldn't use our bolters because the marksman was just going to use the heavy lascannon on top which would be more than effective to clear out the Orks we could see.
He near critical failed, breaking his arms and the heavy las cannon. I'm not sure [b]HOW[/b] that happened, but it's what the DM said.
So my Commissar yelled out to the seargent at the wheel:
"Alright you miserable filth pot! Move over and patch up this man, I'm driving!"
I took the wheel and sped down the hill as fast as this transport could go. I burst through the doors of the Promethium station and started running over Ork after Ork.
After a good long while every single Ork had been splattered under my mighty tires of glory.
The DM was annoyed that we managed to just wreck all the Ork so he said:
"After many cases of vehicular Ork slaughter, the Warboss bursts from the barracks and yells"
[b]"OI! WOT YOO 'OOMANZ DOIN' IN MAH 'OUSE!?"[/b]
The Warboss picks up the transport and throws the thing with us in it. We all go to bail out in mid-air and succeeded.
The Warboss was stomping over right to me. My bolter was out of reach and I had to think fast.
I sprinted for the transport, grab a spare tire out of the back, and toss it at Warboss's head.
Crit.
Confirmed crit.
The Warboss died instantly.
And thus, Commissar Maximo Doomtires was born.
I was playing 40K with a friend the other day (OK, it's not technically a roleplaying thing, but I tend to get into it), I had two squads of Orks and three Warbikers versus his Chaos Space Marines: a squad of Cultists, a squad of CSMs, and a Hellbrute. Despite being massively outmatched, I managed to wipe out every single one of his units, and despite not landing a single hit on the Hellbrute I avoided getting my last Boy killed by him for like 3 turns after I got to last man standing.
On an actual roleplay note, I was once playing an on-the-spot RP session with the same friend, not in any particular universe. As such, I took enough liberties with lore that he ended up fighting against Elgralgamor, the God of Fishcakes. My friend managed to kill him, and his tower (made entirely of fishcakes which had been preserved by magic over hundreds of years) rotted and crumbled away. Now, whenever we do RPs, we always find a way to introduce his character running away from the falling tower :v:
I was DMing for my friends once, and they encountered a room with 3 ice elementals and two minion ice things. Every single one of the ice creatures got at least two natural 20s, and a couple of the adventurers repeatedly rolled ones. What should have been an ~8 turn battle turned into 2 hours of them one-by-one dying to easy enemies.
In a custom game that's not D&D or WH40K, our squad (a Mexican monkey that squirts blood from its eyes, a robot priest, a generic wind knight, and me as a time mage blatantly ripped off from Braid) nearly died on the first encounter with a pack of wolves. Down to my last two hit points I rolled a natural ten (d10s were the dice of the system) and had a rather dramatic finish of a wolf. Nearly choked the thing with my fist before it exploded, taking out another wolf. It didn't impress those beating up wild dogs with sharp, pointy metal.
[editline]fff[/editline]
Found the log.
[quote]
Tim raises his fists again, and waggles his eyebrows at Flick. Flick looks extremely unimpressed.
Tim flexes his muscles, and roars in furious primordial might. Flick howls to the moon, and dashes towards the frail little time mage.
They both run towards each other, sprinting under the cover of darkness. The snow reflects the moonlight, making a hazy scene of visceral beauty. As they are mere feet away from each other, they both make a powerful leap into the sky.
Tim pulls back his fist, shouting in a blazing fury that he's never felt before. The wolf howls, baring its blood-covered teeth.
The two slam into each other, but only one will come out of this. The wolf's open mouth is suddenly jammed with the flying fist of Tim, which breaks several teeth, and drags painfully across the fangs; but he doesn't give a shit. The fist flies straight into the back of the mouth, and Flick chokes dangerously, before being sent flying a good few meters into a distant snowbank.
Tim lands on the ground, kneeled over, and stands up slowly as the distant wolf enters its final death-throes and explodes.
Tim Punch Roll: [B]100% - SUPER!!! CRITICAL!!!![/B]
Alphonse looks back at the explosion in the distance, then decides it probably wasn't that cool anyway, before he returns to beating up dogs with a sword.
[/quote]
[QUOTE=towerofpower256;42063097]Ahhhh, there we go. Some nice, juicy DnD stories.
Damn I wish all my friends weren't meat-heads, can't find a game to join where I am.
Keep em coming![/QUOTE]
You might be surprised, man. I hear Vin Diesel was huge into DnD when he was younger. And I used to have a neighbor who was on the school's basketball and football teams and shit, but he also loved to play DnD and Final Fantasy games. You would never have guessed.
Anyway, me and a group of friends recently tried playing DnD over skype a few weeks ago. It was kind of problematic, because like 4 of the 5 players (myself included) were expecting a campaign along the lines of Adventure Time, but our DM was trying to write something along the lines of Dragon Age or The Witcher.
So he made up this whole elaborate town, and wrote this conflict between the mayor and a druid leading a band of werewolves outside the town. But we all got really bored after a few hours, because he wrote every fight to be unwinnable, and just wanted us to roleplay and solve everything diplomatically.
But we said fuck that. When we learned we couldn't kill the druid that the mayor had tasked us to kill, we made an attack on the side that we COULD kill. We go back into the town, our dwarf monk named Urist storms into the mayor's office, beats him to within an inch of his life, jumps out the window, and the whole lot of us run for our lives back to the druid. The mayor bled to death on the way there, but we didn't know this until it was too late.
This was all the result of a lot of lucky rolls, so by this point the DM was COMPLETELY FED UP with our shenanigans. The druid tells us "this isn't what I wanted at all! I'm leaving!" and like 10 guards from the town show up to murder us. So of course, the next phase of the plan was a natural choice.
[i]Weekend at Bernie's[/i]. We got two miraculous natural 20s, and two of us were rogues with super-high charisma, so we tried to convince the guards that the mayor was still alive.
But [i]oh guess what guys, I forgot to tell you there was also a priest with the guards for some reason, and I just [b]randomly[/b] rolled this character, and he just [b]happened[/b] to have a detect life spell, so nobody believes you[/i]. This DM was so sick of our shit, he couldn't even try to make it look like the fights were winnable anymore. He just straight-up overrode our amazing chain of natural 20s so the game would go in the direction HE wanted.
That was the last time we played. :v:
[editline]3rd September 2013[/editline]
My favorite thing he said to us was like "It's not MY fault you guys aren't having fun! You keep doing [i]stupid shit[/i] and getting [i]yourselves[/i] into these situations."
Basically, we [i]would[/i] be having fun if we did exactly what he wanted. And it's not the DM's obligation to make sure that the players enjoy the campaign.
Sounds like you had a great DM there buddy
I've only truly played two games and neither of them were as awesome as the stories posted here. The best part of the first one was when we were level 2 the DM accidentally pitted us against a level 8 River Elk and our entire party was slaughtered. By a fucking elk.
The second game was some sort of weird vampire setting where our entire party was comprised of traveling salesmen in Transylvania. One of the members was roleplaying as a Chinese cat salesman, and the first thing he would say to anyone was, "Want to buy a cat? Only 50 MSK!" in a really bad Chinese accent. His battlecry was "Cat not for sale!" In that same game we all kept dying but the DM came up with really bullshit excuses to keep us alive, like one guy fell and broke his neck but the rock he hit shifted in just the right way to set the break, therefore he didn't die. I was also killed by lightning and resurrected by lightning twice.
[QUOTE=Jojje;42067224]Sounds like you had a great DM there buddy[/QUOTE]
I think he [b]could[/b] do a good job, he was just playing to the wrong audience. It's like, we wanted an ice cream sundae and he tried to serve us a fancy creme brulee. But instead of taking it back and finding some cheap ice cream for us, he punished us for trying to put whipped cream and sprinkles on the creme brulee he worked so hard on.
[QUOTE=Loofiloo;42067625]I think he [b]could[/b] do a good job, he was just playing to the wrong audience. It's like, we wanted an ice cream sundae and he tried to serve us a fancy creme brulee. But instead of taking it back and finding some cheap ice cream for us, he punished us for trying to put whipped cream and sprinkles on the creme brulee he worked so hard on.[/QUOTE]
Yeah sounds like he had a lot of story written out but you guys wanted to do everything besides follow it.
The one and only time my group played dnd they found a huge bear in a cave, killed it, 10 seconds later find a bear cub, then found out that they killed its mother and did the most logical thing to do, feed it its own mother.
Not DnD, but close enough...
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Bumped but this shit just happened.
So me and my party went to get paid after we'd carried out a bounty. We went to the duke's place as we were hired by him.
My character had a little girl tagging with me as she'd been kidnapped and needed help getting back to town. As we entered the duke's place his chamberlain guy made me go outside with the girl as he deemed her disgusting and dirty and whatnot, so the rest of our party went inside to the duke's to get paid.
The duke didn't buy it apparently so, they showed him evidence of them carrying out the bounty. Apparently this also implicated the duke as having a hand in the kidnapping shenanigans so he went hostile, he along with all of the other guards in his place. He uses his staff on his chamberlain and finds that it's a staff of polymorph, as his chamberlain turns into a huge fucking spider.
Later on the duke turns one of his guards into a flesh cube before cursing loudly at his staff.
I fail a listen check two times until one of the party members fires a pistol so I run in there, I tumble through a basically static zombie guy by the door and decide to whip out a scroll I picked up earlier, and I found it to be a scroll of Prismatic Spray.
This is especially notable because I'm a level 1 bard, and Prismatic Spray is a level 7 wizard/sorcerer spell. As the scroll dissolves in my hands the room becomes a rave party and by some sheer stroke of luck a majority of our party members dodge the rays or have negligible effects, except one, who was burned pretty badly.
The spider got hit by a violet beam and is sent to another dimension, so now there's a very confused spider running around in a parallel dimension, no concern of ours anymore.
The flesh cube gets hit by an indigo beam and is rendered insane. It begins to vibrate slightly, but, as it is a cube of flesh, otherwise remains motionless.
Some of the guards who turn out to be zombies were hit by electricity damage, made their eyes, arms and tongue pop and whatnot.
Duke got hit by a red beam with fire damage, he turns out to be a lich as his skin burns off.
And that was really just the beginning of it.
Damn I really want to learn to play DnD, it sounds great.
I have RP'd in RuneScape on a PvP-anywhere world though. I was the king's wizardly assistant and was asked to teleport this diplomat back to his home but clicked the wrong spell and sent a Fire Wave his way so he died instantly. A couple of minutes later we had butthurt twelve year olds rushing into Varrock castle with the most pathetic gear, they weren't even roleplaying at point they just got so pissed the story didn't go their way that they tried to kill us. :v:
[QUOTE=ScottyWired;42670907]Damn I really want to learn to play DnD, it sounds great.
I have RP'd in RuneScape on a PvP-anywhere world though. I was the king's wizardly assistant and was asked to teleport this diplomat back to his home but clicked the wrong spell and sent a Fire Wave his way so he died instantly. A couple of minutes later we had butthurt twelve year olds rushing into Varrock castle with the most pathetic gear, they weren't even roleplaying at point they just got so pissed the story didn't go their way that they tried to kill us. :v:[/QUOTE]
I hope a massacre took place of said 12 year olds :)
Here's one to share on my own accord.
In the younger, more careless days of my AD&D 2e group, we were exploring some dungeon, where we found a room that was empty except for a pedestal holding 'magic' items (note: these were fakes, all of them had a Nystul's cast on them.) The party thief, not bothering to check for traps, proceeded to lift the stuff from off the pedestal. This caused a concealed pressure trigger to trip, opening up the false ceiling, and thus causing a ceiling-full of green slime to swamp the entire room.
The End.
how long did it take to learn to play dnd? I really reeeaaally wanna learn
It really depends on your idea about the usage of specific rules. The more rules you're going to use, the more stuff you'll have to learn or memorize. Wizard or Cleric PCs also have to keep careful track of their spells, spellbooks, components, and the consequences of spell effects. DMs also have to carefully keep track of time, information known to them, party actions, maps, and so forth.
In short, if your bookkeeping is good and if you have good reference material, and ease the players into simple dungeon crawls before the RP aspect (this also depends on how your group want to play - hack and slash or RP, or middle ground between the two) It should take 3-4 sessions to see if they have an interest towards it. After that, it depends on the group sticking together long enough to play games.
there was a Bioshock group rp I did once, everyone had their characters picked out; no one was supposed to take the roles of canon characters, only original, but there was one dude out of all of us who chose a big daddy that DIDN'T WEAR HIS HELMET and his profile picture WAS EDWARD ELRIC FROM FMA.
[editline]28th October 2013[/editline]
I chose a scientist named Jimmy Ransom who worked under fontaine and adopted a little sister to try and reverse the effects adam had on her, and this edward elric motherfucker kept stealing her from me and godmodding (the little sister was played by another) everyone, I'd say there was six or seven of us rp'ing at the time
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