I'll start.
Once upon a time, there was a man :pervert: and his dog :regd09:
The man abused his dog so the dog paid :10bux: an assassin to kill the man :page3:
And then the dog was like :smugdog:
:smug:
:mmmsmug:
:smugissar:
:huh:and then :a2m: and the dog was like:smugdog:
the nerd was like :awesome:
and I was like :ohdear:
:dong:
:fappery:
:flashfap:
:gizz:
:smug:
:smile:
:gooncamp:
:frown:
Or alternatively
:dong:
:gooncamp:
:flaccid:
Back in :07: there was a :eng101: who had a student who was a :smug: bastard, and one time the student came into :science: class and asked for :20bux: to buy :shroom: because he had concluded that the :eng101: was an :happyelf: and told him ":ftbrg::gb2hd2k:" and then the :cop: came and the :eng101: went :eng99:.