Whats the worst thing to say to your transparents?
[sp]Mom... Dad... I'm opaque.[/sp]
my life
did you hear about the cheese factory that blew up?
you could see da brie everywhere!
In the movie [I]The Wolf of Wall Street,[/I] tycoon Jordan Belfort has no problem getting laid left and right.
I guess you could say he...
[I]scors ese[/I]
What did the tourist say when they passed by a small market on the street that was selling taxidermy camels?
That's really bazaar
[editline]10th January 2015[/editline]
On a related note, all my jokes are horrible
A blind man handed me his auto-biography, I opened it up knowing I was in for a long, bumpy ride.
[i]The struggle is braille.[/i]
Did you know that you can use a little bit of syrup in your dishwasher fluid to clean your dishes? If you don't have enough dishes, you have to add more, but not too many more. If you've got too many dishes, you have to add more syrup, and the whole damn thing becomes a viscous cycle.
Why is having a blind pessimist as a friend bad?
Because they never see the bright side.
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer.
The husband puts, "Mypenis" and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough''
Why was the man throwing eggs at people?
It was only a yolk.
How do you call pancreas in Croatian?
Lizardača
[sp]it makes more sense if I asked it the other way around, what the Croatian word for pancreas means in English[/sp]
[sp]can't wait for 2 possible people to understand it[/sp]
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?
[sp]None. They're both made of plastic and dangerous for children[/sp]
Here is the story of a man who is known as "Small Dick Johnson".
While with his buddies Johnson said "Hey Dude, want to see my dick?"
One of his buddies then said "Sorry, but I don't have a microscope". Everyone else laughed.
The next day with his buddies Johnson said, "Hey, can I borrow someone's socks? I need to jack off into it".
His buddy then said "You got to find someone with very tiny feet then!", everyone else laughed.
The last day Johnson said, "Hey, what is your number? I want to take a picture of my dick with my phone and send it to you!"
His buddy then said, "Your phone doesn't even have a zoom feature!". And everyone else died laughing.
And that is how Johnson became known as "Small Dick Johnson".
How does a Jew make beer?
[sp]Hebrews it[/sp]
Look up in the sky at night and you can see Orion's Belt, and just below that, if it's really clear, you can see Orion's Balls hangin' out his trousers.
[sp]i was stoned as fuck and we were crying with laughter at the time, i immediately regret writing this[/sp]
[QUOTE=rctplayer8;46903967]What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?
[sp]None. They're both made of plastic and dangerous for children[/sp][/QUOTE]
You didn't write that.
What did the geometry teacher say to the problem student?
"Don't side-angle-side me, boy!"
How many tuba players does it take to change a lightbulb?
5, one to change the bulb and 4 to complain the whole time
The new Jewish car not only stops on a dime, it picks it up too
Me : YOUR MOM HAS NO PENIS!
My friend : Uhh, of course.
Me : But tonight,
maybe there's gonna be a penis inside of her huehuehuehuehue
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
