A friend of mine named Tony:
[quote]Tony
i jsut wantd t tell u
i hvae aswal loved yo,
i dont care if ure if yo have a boyfriend
Whitty
um i think u got the wrong person
Tony
u there?
Whitty
yea
Tony
taken the pound otwn expres
Whitty
r u ok
Tony
im ok
Whitty
r u drunk
Tony
no im ok
a lilk
i have blue dick
Whitty
who do u think ur talking to
Tony
girl
Whitty
name
Tony
you gon learn todfay
that long fick
Whitty
who am i
Tony
uhn
whitkty li
Whitty
o k
Tony
i have two windows and two plug outlerss
Whitty
ok
did u go to a party
Tony
wanana fuck
Whitty
no
im in taiwan
Tony
u can com eover
Whitty
no i cant
Tony
im in wicomico
im top ubnk so we hav to do it in missonary tho
Whitty
no
i dont want to
Tony
okie
Tony
c u in lab
Whitty
im on another continent
Tony
y come
Whitty
i dont go to ur school
im in taiwan
wats my nae
name
Tony
kkk
is wnitty
Whitty
and i dont go to ur school
Tony
mkay u close by
Whitty
no im not
Tony
mk il
my dikc i s roughly shaped liek a tennis ball contianer
uw ant my nuts?
Whitty
omg
Tony
is cold
Whitty
put some clothes on
Tony
WTF
how do u kno im not wearing cloths
u already outside?
Whitty
no
where are your friends
Tony
roomier sleep
Whitty
u should sleep it off
Tony
i think the rest haven sexy teim
ratio nto good enough
cehst hurts like nutsack
need mouth relief
Whitty
i think u should sleep
go drink some water
Tony
ur lsos
ntie nite
Whitty
yea
go sleep
and put some clothes on
no one wants to see that
____________________________________
Tony
uh
im sorry
Whitty
lol
Tony
i just checked my chat history
Whitty
i see u went to a party last night
Tony
yeah
Whitty
haha
its cool
Tony
okay
sorry
Whitty
showed it to a couple ppl
Tony
haha
Whitty
so ur gonna live in embarrassment for a bit
but yeah
haha
Tony
alright
Whitty
its cool
Tony
i accept my punishment
Whitty
haha
Tony
uh okay ima go shower
thanks
Whitty
yeah
its cool
[/quote]
Also,
[quote]i found out i bought the entire lost dvd set in blu ray
i dont even have ablu ray player[/quote]
It's you, isn't it
Comedy gold
Probably funnier if I knew the person, otherwise I could just browse through my own chatlogs if I wanted something cringe-worthy to read.
[QUOTE=MuTAnT;37625083]Probably funnier if I knew the person, otherwise I could just browse through my own chatlogs if I wanted something cringe-worthy to read.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, it would be. He's a very interesting dude. He's cool. Party (and sexy time) animal with good grades.
[editline]11th September 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=salmonmarine;37624955]It's you, isn't it[/QUOTE]
Nah, I don't drink.
[editline]11th September 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=MuTAnT;37625083]if I wanted something cringe-worthy to read.[/QUOTE]
Post some of yours.
They're real disasters to be honest. Tragically I can actually type pretty coherently, even if I'm black-out drunk so most people don't realise I'm hammered. I just end up looking creepy as fuck.
I'll try to find something interesting when I get home though I guess.
I am monitoring this thread.
Fucking hilarious mate, also, can you put a line or something when the next day starts?
Oh god, had the perfect conversation but then when I actually reread it I don't think I can go back there. Started off fine but when she asked me what was up I decided to be funny and tell her I was stalking all her photo albums as a joke. She didn't find it funny, so naturally instead of admitting it was a joke I just continue on. Shit was fucking spaghetti o'clock.
Please dudes, post your drunk chats.
when i'm drunk i usually tell girls i love them and ask to marry them. fortunately they always take it as a joke.
Send me the lost DVD set, your friend don't even have blu ray player.
wanana fuck
this one time a couple years ago i took 10mg of ambien (recreationally, and yes, i met the walrus) and i talked to this one chick on facebook for like an hour while i was tripping balls and woke up to a wall of incoherent gibberish about how i could feel the floor and that my room was sinking
i wish i had the chatlog, because it was fucking hilarious
[editline]15th September 2012[/editline]
relevance to the thread: hardly
[b]Sober chat[/b]:
[quote]
September 10
Benjamin
Yeah, you talked to me drunk.
September 10
Tony
lol
September 10
Benjamin
It was pretty close to what you sounded like when Bronson dumped you in our room when you were drunk.
September 10
Tony
hahaha
damn bro it must have been pretty bad if i was asking whitty for sexy time
shes on another continent
September 10
Benjamin
Naw dude.
She was in your heart the whole time.
September 10
Tony
lol nah
i should like lock my computer before i go out
or else i do stupid stuff when i get back
i found out i bought the entire lost dvd set in blu ray
i dont even have ablu ray player
September 10
Benjamin
Alcohol is one hell of a drug.
September 10
Tony
its not a drug man
September 10
Benjamin
Sedadtive
September 10
Tony
thats y its called "drugs & alcohol"
September 10
Tony
some people like the way it feels
some people want to kill their sorrows
some people want to fit in with the popular
that was my problem
September 10
Tony
great song
you should at least do a little for the social gains
we got a nice thing goin in our dorm called the Wicomico crew
and when you turn the W upside down it makes 2 As
like alcoholics anonymoos
funny jokes right
September 10
Benjamin
Hah
September 10
Benjamin
be safe.
Use yo condamns.
September 10
Tony
okay man
ttysitf
youre a scro
September 10
Benjamin
Hold up.
a lilk
What does that even mean?
September 10
Tony
i think i was saying a little bit
September 10
Benjamin
Oh ok
Welp, you gon' go out?
September 10
Tony
ima try
wander around frat row
September 10
Benjamin
All right.
September 10
Tony
just follow the noise
September 10
Benjamin
Have some sexy fun. Not sexy time.
September 10
Tony
arent they the same?
September 10
Benjamin
Wait, by yourself?
September 10
Tony
nah i need to find some girls to go with me
a dude never gets into a party
u need good ratio
September 10
Benjamin
Right.
or raise the ratio
All right, go for it.
September 10
Tony
nice
ttysitf scro
September 10
Benjamin
Mhm.
[/quote]
[b]Drunk chat[/b]
[quote]
14 hours ago
Tony
i jsu t took a shit and wipked
nothing was therne
ALIENS
scor u there
14 hours ago
Benjamin
You're a genious.
Yeah man, diggin' Windows 8.
14 hours ago
Tony
niice
14 hours ago
Benjamin
Saw your notifications top right. Wasn't on FB.
So what's up
14 hours ago
Tony
all the erognoimcals and sit
all goood man
14 hours ago
Benjamin
I usually get dry shits as well.
Wipe for nothing.
14 hours ago
Tony
i wa sable to replensih my stock with the fake
yo i hate when i tbleeds
too much wipe
14 hours ago
Benjamin
What the fuck.
Never bleed from wiping.
Only if the shit was too big and it ripped.
You know what's the worst..
14 hours ago
Tony
neve had the reha like me
yea?
14 hours ago
Benjamin
Oh dude..
Yeah.
Like
You have a split in your anus.. and then you take an acidic shit.
or rhea.
Gameover.
14 hours ago
Tony
eyah man
that worst
14 hours ago
Benjamin
Least you didn't get split and burned.
14 hours ago
Tony
yeah the shi twas good
14 hours ago
Benjamin
I always squat now because it's a public restroom.
Getting nice quads or something.
14 hours ago
Tony
dayum u don wanna get no stds
seat trasnmitted diseasdes
14 hours ago
Benjamin
Yeh, so sqatting is fast .
14 hours ago
Tony
ima c ifi can ge tsome pussay
mass text
14 hours ago
Benjamin
Isn't that like every mission every single fucking moment of your life?
14 hours ago
Tony
yehan but not its 3 am prime time
14 hours ago
Benjamin
Dang, when do you guys sleep there.
14 hours ago
Tony
if u sleep b4 4 u r a bitch
i keep gettin fucked wit cuz i slepd at 1:30 last nite
and i missed the hagnout whicn was like at 1:45
blown
i had a 5 hour env ergy in my pocket too
14 hours ago
Benjamin
Hahaha, some sort of initiation?
Hahaha.
How did they punish you?
14 hours ago
Tony
nah ju st the crit era to be part of the cfew
theyh called me raisan bran limp dick pussyh
but i redeem myself
14 hours ago
Tony
it si good
14 hours ago
Benjamin
THat's it?
I thought they'd do other things besides name calling.
Like rustle your jimmies in the middle of the night or something.
14 hours ago
Tony
yeahn tehy made me chug a beer bong full of vodka
14 hours ago
Benjamin
Oh, but you enjoy that.. so it's not even a punishment.
14 hours ago
Tony
ima bujy my dayglow dtickets rit enow
14 hours ago
Benjamin
Some concert thing
/
?
14 hours ago
Tony
ye its like apaint rave or something girsl are ogin
14 hours ago
Benjamin
How much are the tickets
14 hours ago
Tony
like 70 bucs
14 hours ago
Benjamin
Sounds fun.
Music playing?
14 hours ago
Tony
i guess im jus tryna ge tmollies
and get ladi
14 hours ago
Benjamin
Get mollies?
Dude, you're buzzed right now aren't you.
14 hours ago
Tony
yeah e ndam
u eve rhad e
14 hours ago
Benjamin
What's mollies..
14 hours ago
Tony
borim good i had lddike 7 beers
im nto somellightweight
yo some asshat oripped me off took my life saving fo rsome shitty grass
14 hours ago
Benjamin
What?..
14 hours ago
Tony
straight up kitty ltiter rolled in an old mcdonals recipt;
14 hours ago
Benjamin
You bought weed.. with your life savings..
How much.
14 hours ago
Tony
10 bucks
14 hours ago
Benjamin
That's not life savings..
14 hours ago
Tony
a dime
eyahns it is
14 hours ago
Benjamin
A dime..
Not much lost.
14 hours ago
Tony
my life savings i swhatever i have in my wallet atm
o h shint whittys on my newsfeeded
i wanna bno eher
14 hours ago
Benjamin
Go ask her out.
LIKE YOU DID LAST TIME.
14 hours ago
Tony
if i coul d fly over ot cali and tap her and mimi at the sam time
i owuld die happy
i keep sgettin lbueballd dam
14 hours ago
Benjamin
Wait so.. no relief since before camp.
14 hours ago
Tony
nahn
i willl literall yproduce a quart of man mayo right now
preferably on whitty s face
all that baby batter
14 hours ago
Benjamin
My goodness.
14 hours ago
Tony
you dont understand my pain blue balsl is a chronic condition
relie shold be covered by health insurnace
14 hours ago
Benjamin
I can't imagine.
Send a letter to congress.
14 hours ago
Tony
fuck if ronme ycan make nuses releif us i woul dvote fo r him
14 hours ago
Benjamin
All right brah, I'm going to go take a shower.
14 hours ago
Tony
nite ntie man
14 hours ago
Benjamin
Yeh
14 hours ago
Tony
ima go sleep then its late enoughn
ur a scro dawgb
[/quote]
[quote]i found out i bought the entire lost dvd set in blu ray
i dont even have ablu ray player[/quote]
I died
[QUOTE] raisan bran limp dick pussyh [/QUOTE]
This really got me.
Gonna have to use this on someone :v:
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