What is the most clean and silent way to kill someone? - General

Like, you kill someone and no one finds out. What would be the best way for it? I'm kind of curious.

repeated headbutts

with an infected vagina

Fuck, actually infecting someone with a disease is a good idea. Have sex with the victim, and I would go up to the cops and say, she/he had the infection first.

rat poison, then burn the body in the woods, then scatter the ashes or bury the remains.

Watch DEXTER

[QUOTE=Mabus;26078690]rat poison, then burn the body in the woods, then scatter the ashes or bury the remains.[/QUOTE] Okay, let's say I poisoned him, how will I drag the body out of the building? I'm living in a downtown? It must be a secret.

silenced chainsaw

pillow

Op trying to sound badass

artillery bombing

No I'm just curious about this. How do professional killers kill someone and go unnoticed?

[QUOTE=Infected Vagina;26078695]Okay, let's say I poisoned him, how will I drag the body out of the building? I'm living in a downtown? It must be a secret.[/QUOTE] Roll up in a carpet.

[QUOTE=Mabus;26078720]Roll up in a carpet.[/QUOTE] I'm not strong enough to drag/hold up a body with carpet over it.

bag of oranges

Do I force my victim to eat the bag of oranges?

[QUOTE=Infected Vagina;26078749]I'm not strong enough to drag/hold up a body with carpet over it.[/QUOTE] Then your not strong enough to do the deed.

Spoon.

[QUOTE=Clearshot;26078757]bag of oranges[/QUOTE] Oh yeah! First poison the oranges and force the victim to eat it. And I blame the person who sold me the oranges. GOOD IDEA COMRADE! :buddy:

[QUOTE=Infected Vagina;26078773]Do I force my victim to eat the bag of oranges?[/QUOTE] You hit him with it a few times... Also leaves no bruises :) [QUOTE=Infected Vagina;26078773] Oh yeah! First poison the oranges and force the victim to eat it. And I blame the person who sold me the oranges. GOOD IDEA COMRADE! [/QUOTE] This will work, yet very boring. Why not just smack him with the oranges? :D

1. Get victim drunk off his/her ass. 2. Daub armpits with vodka/everclear, repeat until dead from alcohol poisoning. Burn Swabs. 3. Excess booze evaporates, victim lies dead and the cause of death seemingly an accident caused by excessive partying.

[QUOTE=Clearshot;26078791]You hit him with it few times... Also leaves no bruises :) This will work, yet very boring. Why not just smack him with the oranges? :D[/QUOTE] Yes! I can smack my victims head into the bag of oranges, so I will have some blood oranges! [img]http://artofstuff.com/images/blood%20orange%20heart.jpg[/img]

Rpg.

[QUOTE=Cheezy;26078848]1. Get victim drunk off his/her ass. 2. Daub armpits with vodka/everclear, repeat until dead from alcohol poisoning. Burn Swabs. 3. Excess booze evaporates, victim lies dead and the cause of death seemingly an accident caused by excessive partying.[/QUOTE] Problems: You must get your victim totally wasted. Can be easy, can be hard. Maybe the victim doesn't drink at all. You must be alone with him. So you would probably have to be close friends with the person in question. The cops will come to you. They will figure out that the victim and you were alone. If they suspect anything (which they will since the whole place will reek of alcohol), they will make you a key suspect. They will ask why you didn't call an ambulance when your friend passed out. Etc etc. Best case scenario: You get away with it. But people will still hate you for not even "calling an ambulance" when he passed out. Not very silent and smooth imo.

Silenced knife with heartbeat sensor.

strangle him

[QUOTE=Rumbo;26079008]Silenced knife with heartbeat sensor.[/QUOTE] But my victim is not Russian.

With a rifle from a half mile away. duh.

[QUOTE=dogmachines;26079046]With a rifle from a half mile away. duh.[/QUOTE] Sure I will just go to the market and buy a rifle for a few bucks.

Old age.