Give unusual advice - General

I'm bored, so I thought I'd make a thread for giving unusual advice. Things not everyone thinks about, or would realize, or even knows about. • Fap with your left hand, this will free your right hand to browse porn with. Whether you're right or left handed, this is good practice to make yourself more skilled at doing everyday things with both hands.

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRkA6zugNMQ[/media] Nobody better than Bill Hicks for giving unusual advice. Oh, and also have some Mitch Hedberg, why not?: I saw a commercial for an above-ground pool, it was 30 seconds long. Because that’s the maximum amount of time you can picture yourself having fun in an above-ground pool. If it was 31 seconds, the actor would say “The water is only up to here? What do I do now? Throw the ball back to Jimmy? Or put some goggles on and look at his feet?”

licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.

Never put your dick into an electricity output

physical activity makes you happy that IS unusual advice for this forum :v:

Say it,don't spray it.

• Don't hold your penis when you urinate, hold the rim of your underwear next to it. You can aim by raising, lowering, and tilting. You'll avoid putting pressure on the flow, and your hand won't smell like dick. • As taught by our almighty and flawless leader of this forum, press alt + 7 to make these nifty dots

listen to simski for schlonhg tips

Adding to the schlonhg advice: Don't stick your dick in the crazy.

you can breathe underwater with a gas mask

[QUOTE=Simski;37746898]• Don't hold your penis when you urinate, hold the rim of your underwear next to it. You can aim by raising, lowering, and tilting. You'll avoid putting pressure on the flow, and your hand won't smell like dick. • As taught by our almighty and flawless leader of this forum, press alt + 7 to make these nifty dots[/QUOTE] if your dick even has a smell you should probably visit a doctor

[QUOTE=geogzm;37747817]if your dick even has a smell you should probably visit a doctor[/QUOTE] Pee in the shower, get rid of smells at the same time

A humming bird with no song, will never be a pop star. A wren, that looks like a hen, is more a hen, then a wren.

[QUOTE=geogzm;37747817]if your dick even has a smell you should probably visit a doctor[/QUOTE] if your dick doesn't have any smell at all, you should probably visit a doctor.

If you're ever pretending to be a lesbian, keep your tackle really well hidden.

Riding a horse backwards on Tuesday is illegal on the moon.

Defeating a sandwich only makes it tastier

Never trust a Colombian midget with a hook hand to wash your dishes

Never get involved in a land war in Asia Never make a bet with a Sicilian when death is on the line.

Live like a windrammer as you fuck. [editline]21st September 2012[/editline] Don't even take a shit when you don't have to.

If you ever travel back in time, don't step on anything, because even the tiniest change can alter the future in ways you can't even imagine.

Here's some advice if you like to kill people: [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P79lA_pJWaU[/media]

Physical contact with a nice girl makes you happier than you've ever thought.

Horror Movie advice 101 -If you think the monster or Killer is dead...DONT check the body.

bread doesn't turn blue if you shout at it

[QUOTE=Atersk;37746810][media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRkA6zugNMQ[/media][/QUOTE] 0:47 and that children, was how dubstep was born.

Horror Movie Advice 102 -Never, EVER go in there: there being, but not limited to; the basement, the closet, the nearby barn, the extremely haunted crypt of doom, the densely packed forest, or any other place that will result in trapping yourself in the monster/killer/whatever.

Don't play games you don't enjoy playing :downs:

Cheese graters can also be used to grate carrots.

[QUOTE=Insane516;37746916]listen to simski for schlonhg tips[/QUOTE] • "You can shake it, you can dance, but the the last drop always go in your pants". That is, unless you grab a small piece of paper and wipe it before you holster. [img]http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l189/Simski_2006/dickadvice_zps2cef8d58.png[/img]