In this thread, post a piece of advice which you feel will help other people along in life. It can be anything from deep philosophy to a reminder on how to use an object properly. I'll start.
> Remember to always open plastic hinge CD cases by grasping the corner and pulling, rather than pulling from the centre. You will open it far easier and won't have a chance of accidentally cracking the cover.
> Drink at least a few glasses of water each day. Studies have shown that increased intake of water has numerous health benefits, such as more restful sleep, decreased chance of getting cancer, and increased neurological functions such as reflexes.
> This will sound silly, but if you do have trouble conversing, practice talking to yourself in front of a mirror. It will fine tune your vocabulary, as well as decrease stutter and "um"ing and "ah"ing. Don't feel stupid for doing it either. The samurai in Feudal Japan did it all the time. :v:
Don't eat yellow snow.
Fuck on the first date. She'll love you forever.
Rape is a big no.
Enjoy your life while you still can
1. A fap a day keeps Prostate cancer away. Note: Do this at night to avoid detection.
2. Pay attention in class. Then you don't have to study and you retain more. (Only works for small tests, otherwise just review the material don't re-read just skim.)
3. Don't fall in with the popular crowd, they will steal your soul.
4. If you're parents aren't psycho-crackheads. OPEN YOUR DAMN EARS!
5. Learn to manage your money.
6. Always be chivalrous. Examples, hold doors, pull chairs out for people especially girls.
7. Learn to be patient. Be slow to anger but understanding.
8. When stressed, meditate.
Don't the follow the advice of drunken strangers whilst you are also drunk. Your friends are generally worse. Especially avoid anything starting with 'It would be funny if you....'.
1. Nice guy finishes last. Be a dick to everyone.
Don't put markers up your ass.
If you have one of those ISPs with a download cap, CHECK YOUR CURRENT DOWNLOADS...
You might think that's not really a life advice... Well when you forget about it and see a big internet bill you might learn the lesson.
[editline]03:40AM[/editline]
Advice#2:
Don't trust everyone you met recently, even if that person seems nice.
Your mom and dad weren't wrestling.
Don't do drugs.
Don't take anything too seriously.
Smoking doesn't make you cool, drugs will most likely get you into trouble, and don't be a douchebag to friends.
[B]EDIT:[/B] Also, don't be a damn pessimist.
If you can afford a car, know how to drive but not sure whether to buy one or not, leave stupidity aside and buy it.
Having a car is like getting reborn, you'll know the true meaning of "freedom" when you have one.
Forget about the brand, the engine or even the color if it's necessary for it to fit your budget, just get one, trust me, you'll love it.
Never put your dick in a bottle.
Trust me.
Never offer to take a picture of your dick dressed up as abe lincoln to post on the internet.
[QUOTE=ChaosPirate;15102171]Rape is a big no.[/QUOTE]
Unless you yell surprise.
When, texting a girl you want to try and have a relationship with, don't push things. By that i mean don't bring up that you would be a good boyfriend, or that you're the sweetest guy on earth. You come on way to fast and will freak them out, just play it cool and let her come to you. That means don't text her every day and when she texts you take a while to text back.
When, texting a girl never tell her you are watching her through her window.
[QUOTE=Skippy Sigma;15107087]When, texting a girl never tell her you are watching her through her window.[/QUOTE]
ahh yes, thank you my good man. Forgot to include that..also never tell said girl that you are fapping and thinking of her.....flattering as it may sound, She will never talk to you again.
Don't let Facepunch consume your soul and free time, or you'll end up like me.
> Try not to trust anything the media says other than that the event itself happened. You'd be suprised what the press get away with when it comes to overexaggeration, and extremely biased reporting. Especially when the report is on science.
> Don't be so concerned about trying to fit in with everyone and trying to make everyone like you. Chances are if someone doesn't like the way [I]you[/I] are, you won't want them as a friend anyway.
> As a followup to the above, dont be afraid to be an asshole or apply a little force when nessecary. Often it will end problems a lot quicker and more decisively than dancing around it in tap shoes.
[QUOTE=Camundongo;15102847]Don't the follow the advice of drunken strangers whilst you are also drunk.[/QUOTE]
Dicks, pussies and assholes.
Put some toilet paper in the water before you shit, this reduces/eliminates splash.
Spread your buttcheeks apart and sit down. You'll have to wipe less
Stop assuming you know everything. You don't. Better to question everything you think, than to assume you know what you don't.
Never ask your best friend(female) to be your girlfriend.
It never works out.
Don't rely on Wikipedia for everything.
wait a day before doing something drastic
ALWAYS wash your hands after using the restroom, even you're just peeing. It pisses me off when people just leave the stall and exit the bathroom like nothing happened, like they didn't just further sully the surface of their skin with nasty fecal bacteria and whatever else thrives there.
This is why I'm such a misanthrope. Everyone is so filthy.
[QUOTE=Greendead;19102602]Never ask your best friend(female) to be your girlfriend.
It never works out.[/QUOTE]
I can fully testify that this statement is true, sadly.
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