If your native language isn't English, you probably have loads of lame wordplay jokes in your language.
Post them here, both in the original language, and directly translated into english. Don't bother explaining the jokes, since it's more fun if it doesn't make any sense.
Since I'm Swedish, I'll start with two:
[I]"Far, får får får?"
"Nej, får får lamm"[/I]
"Dad, does sheep get sheep?"
"No, sheep gets lamb"
__
[I]
En skåning sitter på restaurang och har beställt soppa, men får en gaffel att äta med:
"Sked, fröken".
"Nej, de va bara magen som kurrade".
[/I]
A Scanian sits at the restaurant and has ordered soup, but gets a fork to eat with:
"Spoon, miss"
"No, it was just my tummy making noises"
[I]Ik ben gestopt met biljarten, ik had geen keus[/I]
I stopped billiards, I had no cues ("keus" is cues, but also choice)
"It's not the fart that kills you, it's the smäll"
Wait, i'm doing it wrong.
'Geef mij maar opium', zei de goudvis. 'Dan word ik haai'
[i]'Give me opium,' said the goldfish. 'Then I'll be a shark'[/i]
[i]Malaki ang titik ko[/i]
"Big my letter is"
Det var en ko på ängen, det var på-ängen!
There was a cow on the meadow, that was the point!
'Ken je de mop van de mummie? Nee? ingewikkeld he'
Do you know the joke about the mummy. No? Well it's complicated.
Komt een pyromaan bij een wegrestaurant, weg restaurant!
A pyromaniac goes to a roadside restaurant, roadside restaurant.
"Keksijä Keksi keksi keksin. Keksittyään keksin, keksijä Keksi keksi keksin keksityksi."
An inventor named Keksi invented a cookie. After inventing the cookie, Keksi invented that a cookie has been invented.
[QUOTE=Dutchlike;27989340]Komt een pyromaan bij een wegrestaurant, weg restaurant!
A pyromaniac goes to a roadside restaurant, gone restaurant.[/QUOTE]
I think it's supposed to be roadside restaurant instead of gone restaurant
[QUOTE=kmlkmljkl;27989456]I think it's supposed to be roadside restaurant instead of gone restaurant[/QUOTE]
Well okay, I'll change it.
I get boner when I shit
Vart tog vägen vägen?
Vi är ute på en åker och åker!
"Where did the road go?
We´re driving on a field!"
Best i could think of.
"Hvis der er Tyskland, er der så Tyskvand?"
[i]"If there's Germany, is there then German water?"[/i]
"Hvis Anders And smeltede, hvad ville han så være? Anders Vand!"
[i]"If Donald Duck melted, what would he then be? Donald Water!"[/i]
"Hvis Pia Kjærsgaard var en plante, hvad ville hun så være? Vissen!"
[i]"If Pia Kjærsgaard was a plant, what would she then be? Withered!"[/i]
En man målade sitt staket vitt, det var vitsen.
A man painted his fence white, that's the joke.
3 niggers are in a car , who's driving ? The policeofficer !
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Dumb reply/racism" - Autumn))[/highlight]
[QUOTE=Satansick;27990910]3 niggers are in a car , who's driving ? The policeofficer !
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Dumb reply/racism" - Autumn))[/highlight][/QUOTE]
No you're doing it wrong it's
Mohammed en Achmed zitten in een auto, wie rijdt er? De Politie!
Also that's not racist, it's stereotyping.
- Здравствуйте, Андрея можно?
- Он ушёл куда-то.
- А в цеху его нет?
- Овцехуев у нас вообще не работает.
- Hello, Andrew can be?
- He has gone somewhere.
- And in the shop it not?
- Ovtsehuev we do not work.
A wife asks husband:
- What do you like more, my face or my sexy body?
- Your sense of humor.
[QUOTE=Fatfatfatty;27988869]"It's not the fart that kills you, it's the smäll"
Wait, i'm doing it wrong.[/QUOTE]
Petter Solberg is the best norwegian-english talker ever
Skal jeg fortelle deg en vits? Høne med slips.
Shall i tell you a joke? Hen with tie.
- Frans vroeg in het Frans aan Frans of Frans in het Frans Frans was. Nee, zei Frans tegen Frans in het Frans, Frans in het Frans is François.
- Frans asked Frans in French if French means French in French. No, said Frans to Frans in French, French in French is François.
- Mi a legjobb gyógyszer az influenza ellen?
- A mínusz öt; Mert az egyből hat!
- What's the best medicine against flu?
- Negative 5; Because it's one minus six!
[QUOTE=Altefnegy;27994378]- Mi a legjobb gyógyszer az influenza ellen?
- A mínusz öt; Mert az egyből hat!
- What's the best medicine against flu?
- Negative 5; Because it's one minus six![/QUOTE]
I love the hungarian language
496620776869746520736E6F772066616C6C7320696E2077686974652070656F706C657327206E65696768626F7572686F6F647320616E642062726F776E20736E6F772066616C6C73206F7665722074686520776869746520686F7573652C2077686174206B696E64206F6620736E6F772066616C6C7320696E204368696E613F00
If white snow falls in white people's neighbourhoods and brown snow falls over the white house, what kind of snow falls in China?
[QUOTE=ryadztu;27997150]496620776869746520736E6F772066616C6C7320696E2077686974652070656F706C657327206E65696768626F7572686F6F647320616E642062726F776E20736E6F772066616C6C73206F7665722074686520776869746520686F7573652C2077686174206B696E64206F6620736E6F772066616C6C7320696E204368696E613F00
If white snow falls in white people's neighbourhoods and brown snow falls over the white house, what kind of snow falls in China?[/QUOTE]
Yellow snow.
[QUOTE=ryadztu;27997150]496620776869746520736E6F772066616C6C7320696E2077686974652070656F706C657327206E65696768626F7572686F6F647320616E642062726F776E20736E6F772066616C6C73206F7665722074686520776869746520686F7573652C2077686174206B696E64206F6620736E6F772066616C6C7320696E204368696E613F00
If white snow falls in white people's neighbourhoods and brown snow falls over the white house, what kind of snow falls in China?[/QUOTE]
Purple snow?
På en skole går det to elever. En er fra Trøndelag, en er fra Oslo. De støter på en lærer.
- Hvilken klasse går dere i da? spør læreren.
- Jeg går i A, svarer gutten fra Oslo.
- Æ æ i A æ å, svarer gutten fra Trøndelag.
TRANSLATED:
At a school there are two students. One comes from Trøndelag, one comes from Oslo. They meet a teacher.
- Which grades are you in? the teacher asks.
- I'm in A, the student from Oslo answers.
- I'm in A myself, the student from Trøndelag answers.
I understand none of these jokes.
Esto es una mujer que esta preparando la cena mientras su marido esta sentado en el comedor, y cuando acaba se acerca a su marido y le pregunta:
-¿Cariño, te sirvo?
-No mucho
[b]English[/b]
This is a woman making supper while his husband is in the sitting room, and when she finishes making supper she asks his husband:
-Honey, do I serve you?
-Not much
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