What the fuck is this? Stomach ache? Constipation?

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Ok, so today I woke up and everything was normal until about midday. At midday, I got this EXTREME pain in my lower stomach like I needed to shit a coconut. I was on the toilet and every time I tried to pass what I thought was a fucking coconut, nothing came out. The pain was unbareable. It was like an extremely intense stomach cramp, but it was something to do with my bowels. The pain actually made me throw up and I felt like I was going to pass out. I seriously wanted to pass out at this point just to stop the pain. When the pain died down, I took painkillers and everything calmed downed, but my stomach is still growling like mad and I still feel the need to go BM. I seriously don't know what the fuck is going on.

This is not a troll thread. I know it sounds funny, but this is actually serious.

[meowmynips]

Eat some food.

[editline]28th June 2012[/editline]

Especially food with a LOT of fibre

[ayejayjay]

Drink water and take antacids.
Sounds like classic constipation to me.

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[QUOTE=AJisAwesome15;36542671]Drink water and take antacids.
Sounds like classic constipation to me.[/QUOTE]

Well, I thought that too. The only thing I managed to shit when I tried was that fucking brown water stuff that you shit when you have the runs; does this happen with constipation?

[meowmynips]

Diarrhea

[BrownTown]

hmm. Your symptoms are exactly that of a person that has swallowed a coconut, try eating a stick of butter to help lubricate your digestive tract.

[meowmynips]

[QUOTE=BrownTown;36543282]hmm. Your symptoms are exactly that of a person that has swallowed a coconut, try eating a stick of butter to help lubricate your digestive tract.[/QUOTE]

fitting name

[Dippeggs]

Well I thought it could maybe be your appendix, but I'm not sure now because I read the stomach growling part.

If all goes to hell though, go to a doctor.

[escher]

Yea, drink lots of water. If its not better tomorrow, consider seeing a doctor.

[Animosus]

[QUOTE=\\;36542741]Well, I thought that too. The only thing I managed to shit when I tried was that fucking brown water stuff that you shit when you have the runs; does this happen with constipation?[/QUOTE]

Yes this does happen with constipation, as this can only just get through.
Your showing the same symptoms as me when i was consipated. Drink water, eat fibre and take a fast walk or something.

[rinoaff33]

Get someone to shake you loose like a bottle of Yoo-Hoo.

[da_maul]

insert something up your butt and try to break the shit up