As I sit here, typing this story, I look back at the single most awful wank I have ever had in my life, and just think to myself how all of this could have been stopped, how having a piece of tissue on hand could have prevented my room from becoming a shit-stained cum soaked mess.
Today, around four I decided to jack off for the first time in about three months. Between school, sports, and friends it has been really busy, so I decided I was overdue for some "me" time. A side note: I had to shit a little bit before I started. I took my seat at my laptop, jumped on redtube, and got to work. About 10 minutes in I was just about done when I could feel my shit about to push out, so I decided to finish up. Ready to blow my load I reached into my desk drawer to grab a tissue, but the box was fucking empty. At this point the logical thing to do would have been to just cum on my hands and then rush to the bathroom to take a shit. Unfortunately, I was not thinking clearly at this time. So, I jumped out of my chair and quickly walked to the bathroom with my pants down. On the way there I walked under the ceiling fan in my room, which was on the highest setting.
The next 37 seconds of my life were a mix of pure ecstasy and sheer horror. The air blowing over my dick caused me to orgasm. This was NOT your standard “wank for 10 minutes” orgasm, this was a “holy fucking shit” deal. I was sort of frozen in this state of pleasure, but then things went to hell. As a result of this mind-blowing jerk my load managed to shoot up and into the fan (the fan is about 7 feet from the floor). It wasn't just blown back down, it somehow hit the fan blades. This resulted in a sort of semen mist that was sprayed all over the room. The walls, the floor, my face, everywhere. Also, at the exact time all of this was happening my bowels decided enough was enough and let loose. Oh, but this was no ordinary shit either, this was more of a mud avalanche. My ass cheeks tightened and the crap, somehow accelerated from my jacking off, flew out my ass, spraying everywhere (taco bell does not agree with me). I stood in place, my jaw on the floor as I gazed at this cum covered shit stained room, and was frozen by the sheer insanity of what the fuck had just happened.
And so, the cleanup began. I used this steam-vac thing to get the shit and cum out of the carpet, and some magic erasers for the walls and ceiling. I've sprayed about a full can of air freshener in here, but now it just smells like shit, cum, and flowers.
MS Paint picture for the lazy or illiterate:
[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/ohmygod.png[/img]
Post your worst fapping story!
Cat grabbed my junk, forcing me to let go. I came on her.
I masterbating slowly so I wouldn't cum in my pants(and yet still get the "Feel Good" feeling) but then the urge became too strong and I came all in my pants
[QUOTE=Wonky;20656743]As I sit here, typing this story, I look back at the single most awful wank I have ever had in my life, and just think to myself how all of this could have been stopped, how having a piece of tissue on hand could have prevented my room from becoming a shit-stained cum soaked mess.
Today, around four I decided to jack off for the first time in about three months. Between school, sports, and friends it has been really busy, so I decided I was overdue for some "me" time. A side note: I had to shit a little bit before I started. I took my seat at my laptop, jumped on redtube, and got to work. About 10 minutes in I was just about done when I could feel my shit about to push out, so I decided to finish up. Ready to blow my load I reached into my desk drawer to grab a tissue, but the box was fucking empty. At this point the logical thing to do would have been to just cum on my hands and then rush to the bathroom to take a shit. Unfortunately, I was not thinking clearly at this time. So, I jumped out of my chair and quickly walked to the bathroom with my pants down. On the way there I walked under the ceiling fan in my room, which was on the highest setting.
The next 37 seconds of my life were a mix of pure ecstasy and sheer horror. The air blowing over my dick caused me to orgasm. This was NOT your standard “wank for 10 minutes” orgasm, this was a “holy fucking shit” deal. I was sort of frozen in this state of pleasure, but then things went to hell. As a result of this mind-blowing jerk my load managed to shoot up and into the fan (the fan is about 7 feet from the floor). It wasn't just blown back down, it somehow hit the fan blades. This resulted in a sort of semen mist that was sprayed all over the room. The walls, the floor, my face, everywhere. Also, at the exact time all of this was happening my bowels decided enough was enough and let loose. Oh, but this was no ordinary shit either, this was more of a mud avalanche. My ass cheeks tightened and the crap, somehow accelerated from my jacking off, flew out my ass, spraying everywhere (taco bell does not agree with me). I stood in place, my jaw on the floor as I gazed at this cum covered shit stained room, and was frozen by the sheer insanity of what the fuck had just happened.
And so, the cleanup began. I used this steam-vac thing to get the shit and cum out of the carpet, and some magic erasers for the walls and ceiling. I've sprayed about a full can of air freshener in here, but now it just smells like shit, cum, and flowers.
MS Paint picture for the lazy or illiterate:
Post your worst fapping story![/QUOTE]
God I laughed so hard.
I fapped then went to bed
Well long story short, the discovered masturbating through a massager,
I was just massaging my thighs for fun, but I suddenly had a idea to try put it on my dick.
It felt extremely pleasurable.. but when I came.. I pissed out blood. I was like HOLY SH-
[QUOTE=Optimistic;20657026]Well long story short, the discovered masturbating through a massager,
I was just massaging my thighs for fun, but I suddenly had a idea to try put it on my dick.
It felt extremely pleasurable.. but when I came.. I pissed out blood. I was like HOLY SH-[/QUOTE]
What the ever-living almighty fuck.
[QUOTE=Wonky;20656743]As I sit here, typing this story, I look back at the single most awful wank I have ever had in my life, and just think to myself how all of this could have been stopped, how having a piece of tissue on hand could have prevented my room from becoming a shit-stained cum soaked mess.
Today, around four I decided to jack off for the first time in about three months. Between school, sports, and friends it has been really busy, so I decided I was overdue for some "me" time. A side note: I had to shit a little bit before I started. I took my seat at my laptop, jumped on redtube, and got to work. About 10 minutes in I was just about done when I could feel my shit about to push out, so I decided to finish up. Ready to blow my load I reached into my desk drawer to grab a tissue, but the box was fucking empty. At this point the logical thing to do would have been to just cum on my hands and then rush to the bathroom to take a shit. Unfortunately, I was not thinking clearly at this time. So, I jumped out of my chair and quickly walked to the bathroom with my pants down. On the way there I walked under the ceiling fan in my room, which was on the highest setting.
The next 37 seconds of my life were a mix of pure ecstasy and sheer horror. The air blowing over my dick caused me to orgasm. This was NOT your standard “wank for 10 minutes” orgasm, this was a “holy fucking shit” deal. I was sort of frozen in this state of pleasure, but then things went to hell. As a result of this mind-blowing jerk my load managed to shoot up and into the fan (the fan is about 7 feet from the floor). It wasn't just blown back down, it somehow hit the fan blades. This resulted in a sort of semen mist that was sprayed all over the room. The walls, the floor, my face, everywhere. Also, at the exact time all of this was happening my bowels decided enough was enough and let loose. Oh, but this was no ordinary shit either, this was more of a mud avalanche. My ass cheeks tightened and the crap, somehow accelerated from my jacking off, flew out my ass, spraying everywhere (taco bell does not agree with me). I stood in place, my jaw on the floor as I gazed at this cum covered shit stained room, and was frozen by the sheer insanity of what the fuck had just happened.
And so, the cleanup began. I used this steam-vac thing to get the shit and cum out of the carpet, and some magic erasers for the walls and ceiling. I've sprayed about a full can of air freshener in here, but now it just smells like shit, cum, and flowers.
MS Paint picture for the lazy or illiterate:
[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/ohmygod.png[/img]
Post your worst fapping story![/QUOTE]
That just made my day
I don't know what to type, I don't know if it's sheer amazement or what so i'll just let this be.
one time
i fapped too hard
and i bled to death
I ejaculated pennies once.
This thread amazes me.
OP made my day.
Anyways, my worst fap took like 45 seconds and I didn't feel almost anything. And I had been a week without :saddowns:
[QUOTE=B1N4RY!;20659818]one time
i fapped too hard
and i bled to death[/QUOTE]
That's what you get for fapping to your sister.
I was just about to finish up when to my dismay, the bathroom door was locked. So i grabbed a sock and used that to keep from going on the floor. Wasn't mine and the next morning my sister was bitching about the sock being sticky.
Embarrassing experience that lead to great things, that actually only happened this weekend:
So with me and my Crossdressing fetish, and being almost home alone (Brother was there, but in his room being A. A weaboo fagot B. Playing TF2 C. Playing WoW) I decide to dress up as a girl using some rolled up boxers, and a T-shirt worn as a dress and stay upstairs and generally have an one-crossdressing fagot orgy until I heard the garage door open. So about thirty minutes pass, I'm still orgying under my bed when the doorbell rings. My brother gets out of his room (His room is downstairs.) and it's one of my friends. My brother sends my friend upstairs, and I'm half naked with improvised dildos in my mouth and ass fapping my brains out. He comes upstairs, and I think when he saw I wasn't at my computer and heard me going "Mhm mhm mhm" and "fap fap fap fap fap fap" he kinda got an idea what I was doing. He walks into my room and sees me on the floor, but doesn't act too surprised at all. He says "I always knew you were some kinda of fagot" and pulls down his pants. We proceed to have sex.
tl;dr: I was megafaging and my friend walking in on me and we had sex.
Well today I was fapping and the second I got an orgasm I felt a really bad cramp in my foot. pain and orgasm do not go together..so yeah it was pretty bad.
[QUOTE=PeanutTHENINJA;20660070]Embarrassing experience that lead to great things, that actually only happened this weekend:
So with me and my Crossdressing fetish, and being almost home alone (Brother was there, but in his room being A. A weaboo fagot B. Playing TF2 C. Playing WoW) I decide to dress up as a girl using some rolled up boxers, and a T-shirt worn as a dress and stay upstairs and generally have an one-crossdressing fagot orgy until I heard the garage door open. So about thirty minutes pass, I'm still orgying under my bed when the doorbell rings. My brother gets out of his room (His room is downstairs.) and it's one of my friends. My brother sends my friend upstairs, and I'm half naked with improvised dildos in my mouth and ass fapping my brains out. He comes upstairs, and I think when he saw I wasn't at my computer and heard me going "Mhm mhm mhm" and "fap fap fap fap fap fap" he kinda got an idea what I was doing. He walks into my room and sees me on the floor, but doesn't act too surprised at all. He says "I always knew you were some kinda of fagot" and pulls down his pants. We proceed to have sex.
tl;dr: I was megafaging and my friend walking in on me and we had sex.[/QUOTE]
What
[QUOTE=PeanutTHENINJA;20660070]Embarrassing experience that lead to great things, that actually only happened this weekend:
So with me and my Crossdressing fetish, and being almost home alone (Brother was there, but in his room being A. A weaboo fagot B. Playing TF2 C. Playing WoW) I decide to dress up as a girl using some rolled up boxers, and a T-shirt worn as a dress and stay upstairs and generally have an one-crossdressing fagot orgy until I heard the garage door open. So about thirty minutes pass, I'm still orgying under my bed when the doorbell rings. My brother gets out of his room (His room is downstairs.) and it's one of my friends. My brother sends my friend upstairs, and I'm half naked with improvised dildos in my mouth and ass fapping my brains out. He comes upstairs, and I think when he saw I wasn't at my computer and heard me going "Mhm mhm mhm" and "fap fap fap fap fap fap" he kinda got an idea what I was doing. He walks into my room and sees me on the floor, but doesn't act too surprised at all. He says "I always knew you were some kinda of fagot" and pulls down his pants. We proceed to have sex.
tl;dr: I was megafaging and my friend walking in on me and we had sex.[/QUOTE]
what the fuck did i just read
[QUOTE=PeanutTHENINJA;20660070]Embarrassing experience that lead to great things, that actually only happened this weekend:
So with me and my Crossdressing fetish, and being almost home alone (Brother was there, but in his room being A. A weaboo fagot B. Playing TF2 C. Playing WoW) I decide to dress up as a girl using some rolled up boxers, and a T-shirt worn as a dress and stay upstairs and generally have an one-crossdressing fagot orgy until I heard the garage door open. So about thirty minutes pass, I'm still orgying under my bed when the doorbell rings. My brother gets out of his room (His room is downstairs.) and it's one of my friends. My brother sends my friend upstairs, and I'm half naked with improvised dildos in my mouth and ass fapping my brains out. He comes upstairs, and I think when he saw I wasn't at my computer and heard me going "Mhm mhm mhm" and "fap fap fap fap fap fap" he kinda got an idea what I was doing. He walks into my room and sees me on the floor, but doesn't act too surprised at all. He says "I always knew you were some kinda of fagot" and pulls down his pants. We proceed to have sex.
tl;dr: I was megafaging and my friend walking in on me and we had sex.[/QUOTE]
Unexpected plot twist was not expected. :gonk:
Oh god, hilarious thread!
I jizzed on my computer case by accident. That shit doesn't come out.
[QUOTE=PeanutTHENINJA;20660070]Embarrassing experience that lead to great things, that actually only happened this weekend:
So with me and my Crossdressing fetish, and being almost home alone (Brother was there, but in his room being A. A weaboo fagot B. Playing TF2 C. Playing WoW) I decide to dress up as a girl using some rolled up boxers, and a T-shirt worn as a dress and stay upstairs and generally have an one-crossdressing fagot orgy until I heard the garage door open. So about thirty minutes pass, I'm still orgying under my bed when the doorbell rings. My brother gets out of his room (His room is downstairs.) and it's one of my friends. My brother sends my friend upstairs, and I'm half naked with improvised dildos in my mouth and ass fapping my brains out. He comes upstairs, and I think when he saw I wasn't at my computer and heard me going "Mhm mhm mhm" and "fap fap fap fap fap fap" he kinda got an idea what I was doing. He walks into my room and sees me on the floor, but doesn't act too surprised at all. He says "I always knew you were some kinda of fagot" and pulls down his pants. We proceed to have sex.
tl;dr: I was megafaging and my friend walking in on me and we had sex.[/QUOTE]
:smug:
So I'm sitting there at my desk, fapping. I'm about ten minutes in, going real slow, and right as I came something in the chair broke, and it spun around. The scene was not unlike one of those sprinklers that goes around really fast with water spraying out. That also happened to be the most forceful cumshot I ever had, too. :byodood:
My brother walked in and saw what I was doing.
Gave off a huge cheesy smile and walked backwards out of my room slowly.
I came in under 30 seconds and shot all over my keyboard. :frown:
[QUOTE=Wonky;20656743]As I sit here, typing this story, I look back at the single most awful wank I have ever had in my life, and just think to myself how all of this could have been stopped, how having a piece of tissue on hand could have prevented my room from becoming a shit-stained cum soaked mess.
Today, around four I decided to jack off for the first time in about three months. Between school, sports, and friends it has been really busy, so I decided I was overdue for some "me" time. A side note: I had to shit a little bit before I started. I took my seat at my laptop, jumped on redtube, and got to work. About 10 minutes in I was just about done when I could feel my shit about to push out, so I decided to finish up. Ready to blow my load I reached into my desk drawer to grab a tissue, but the box was fucking empty. At this point the logical thing to do would have been to just cum on my hands and then rush to the bathroom to take a shit. Unfortunately, I was not thinking clearly at this time. So, I jumped out of my chair and quickly walked to the bathroom with my pants down. On the way there I walked under the ceiling fan in my room, which was on the highest setting.
The next 37 seconds of my life were a mix of pure ecstasy and sheer horror. The air blowing over my dick caused me to orgasm. This was NOT your standard “wank for 10 minutes” orgasm, this was a “holy fucking shit” deal. I was sort of frozen in this state of pleasure, but then things went to hell. As a result of this mind-blowing jerk my load managed to shoot up and into the fan (the fan is about 7 feet from the floor). It wasn't just blown back down, it somehow hit the fan blades. This resulted in a sort of semen mist that was sprayed all over the room. The walls, the floor, my face, everywhere. Also, at the exact time all of this was happening my bowels decided enough was enough and let loose. Oh, but this was no ordinary shit either, this was more of a mud avalanche. My ass cheeks tightened and the crap, somehow accelerated from my jacking off, flew out my ass, spraying everywhere (taco bell does not agree with me). I stood in place, my jaw on the floor as I gazed at this cum covered shit stained room, and was frozen by the sheer insanity of what the fuck had just happened.
And so, the cleanup began. I used this steam-vac thing to get the shit and cum out of the carpet, and some magic erasers for the walls and ceiling. I've sprayed about a full can of air freshener in here, but now it just smells like shit, cum, and flowers.
MS Paint picture for the lazy or illiterate:
[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/ohmygod.png[/img]
Post your worst fapping story![/QUOTE]
Oh my god you poor =( Is your room clean again?
one time
i fap
and white sutff cum out
how i get to stop?!
[QUOTE=Asaratha;20669007]You're going to die[/QUOTE]
no hlp me pls
[QUOTE=Asaratha;20669065]Take a toothpick, and stick it down your hole[/QUOTE]
ok i did it nao wat
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