Okay, here's the rule for them: a) they must imply that he's more powerful than the other object in the joke (so e.g. he doesn't pay taxes, the government pays him! - here, he's more powerful than the government), and b) they should also be ironic (but this is kinda optional since some chuck Norris jokes are absent of this); so in the previous example, rather than paying the government taxes, the government pays him taxes. And c) may be an additional rule wherein Chuck can do the impossible but which still remains impossible (e.g. He can send you back in time with a roundhouse kick but the only thing is that you won't survive it).
So let's start!
- He doesn't phone the police for help, the police phone him!
- He doesn't go A&E, A&E go to him for emergencies
- He doesn't pray to God, God prays to him
- Taxi phones Chuck for a lift
whos this chuck norris you are talking about, and why he has all this super powers
That sounds alot more like Saxton Hale than Chuck Norris IMO.
Joke to keep on-topic: Chuck Norris doesn't cheat Death, he beats it fair & square.
People [i]still[/i] make Chuck Norris jokes?
something about god. something about chuck norris doing it slightly better.
chuck norris is gay
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj2Zf9tlg2Y[/media]
Abe is way cooler than Chuck
Joke Norris is a joke
/thread
Chunk Norris walks into a bar, sits down, has a drink and leaves.
BECAUSE HE'S JUST A NORMAL FUCKING PERSON.
Chuck Norris's jokes being funny are about as real as God.
And I am an Athiest.
Don't mind them, they don't know how awesome Chuck's powers are.
Who else but Chuck can slam a revolving door and gargle peanut butter? Jesus may walk on water, but Chuck swims through land.
:frog:
Jesus could walk on water.
Chuck norris can swim on land!
A friend told me this yesterday, then I punched him in the eye...
[editline]13th August 2011[/editline]
fuck you silent-bob for stealing my joke
-Every night Chuck Norris checks under his bed for children who check under their beds for monsters.
-Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, because he is hydrophobic.
-Chuck Norris' tears clearly can't cure cancer, for if they did it would've been eradicated by now.
Chuck Norris is just a tool in MacGyver's pocket knife.
You know Chuck Norris is a creationist right? He's fucking retarded.
"It's funny. It's cute. But here's what I really think about the theory of evolution: it's not real. It is not the way we got here. In fact, the life you see on this planet is really just a list of creatures God has allowed to live. We are not creations of random chance. We are not accidents. There is a God, a Creator, who made you and me. We were made in His image, which separates us from all other creatures. By the way, without Him, I don't have any power. But with Him, the Bible [U][/U] tells me, I really can do all things — and so can you.[SUP][URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris_facts#cite_note-norrismania-1"][/URL][/SUP]"
Wanna hear a joke?
Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has only won a single fight.
This was when his opponent died of laughing at Chuck.
CHUCK FUCKING NORRIS JOKES OH MY GOD
"chuk noris can swim on land XDDDDDD"
They're always the same ones too, fuck.
When chuck noris does pushups he dosnt move the earth goes up and down insted xD
these sound a little too much like Yakov Smirnoff jokes
OP have you been living under a rock since you joined
Chuck norris' jokes are so imature, whenever someone tells one, he dies a little
[QUOTE=D3TBS;31714971]Chuck norris' jokes are so imature, whenever someone tells one, he dies a little[/QUOTE]
Its just jokes. I mean its not like anyone actually thinks he can do this stuff.
Dumb
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