I am entering a college drag show for cancer and need material

[Nerfer]

So for RAG (Raise and Give) week in Ireland, which is a week dedicated to pure debauchery for charity, I have volunteered to dress in drag and attend a "Rose of Tralee meets Rupauls Drag Race" function. I have my tall Lithuanian coworker to get me a dress I wont rip, and a hipster not-quite-a-lesbian friend to do my makeup.

So I need some material, its gunna be short so I get walked up by my also cross dressed significant other, talk a bit, then showpieces start after intros. I have no talent to speak of and I'll probably cry if I try to lip sync or dance, so my only plan of action is to insult my competition and then deepthroat a liter of whiskey. Any other ideas?

[editline]12th February 2017[/editline]

turns out a litre of whiskey may kill me despite swearing ive done it before, i may substitute this with the use of a funnel and various other things

[Guriosity]

Go for easy laughs. Gay Trump in drag.
Make America Fabulous again.

[Brosef Stachin]

My college is doing RAG week this week, wonder what other colleges are. Don't get fined out the ass by the shades if you're going out drinking.

Do an iron stomach thing