My college roomate is an asshole - General

My college roomate is an asshole, he's cockblocked me atleast 3 times now, and today he deleted my steam folder. So i'm looking for ways to get back at him, so far i've come up with two things: 1. Jizz in his shampoo bottle (It's head and shoulders.) 2. Fuck with his AIM. Thats all I can think of, and both of them are pathetic, so I'm asking FP to think of some ways to get back at my roomate. His name is Tim Friedland.

Cut his head off, that'll show him

Convince him to have sex with you

suck his dick, that will show him!

Put nair and jizz in his shampoo

set him up with a blind date.. tell him shes a beauty queen, when its actually some ugly fattie or something

That'l show him My automerge!

Talk to your proctor about getting a new roommate.

[QUOTE=austen508;27156110]set him up with a blind date.. tell him shes a beauty queen, when its actually some ugly fattie or something[/QUOTE] :silent:

if he has a gaming computer or something, open it up and unplug the power to his graphics card.

[QUOTE=bull3tmagn3t;27156152]if he has a gaming computer or something, open it up and unplug the power to his graphics card.[/QUOTE] He has an old Acer Aspire, the only thing I can think of with that is to take a magnet to the hard-drive, and fuck with his aim.

Before you do anything, I'd suggest setting up a bios level password for your computer. In addition I'd also still use a windows level password. Any time you leave your machine just push the windows key + L and it will lock your machine. Make it a habit. It keeps anyone from fucking with your stuff. If your computer is on and you aren't in front of it, then it should be locked. ALWAYS.

Burn his side of the room down.

fuck his girlfriend in the ass

He left the room he said he's getting food, and wont be back till like 5:30. [QUOTE=FuckaNinja;27156410]fuck his girlfriend in the ass[/QUOTE] Good idea but he's single.

twice

[QUOTE=Slayerdude111;27156413]He left the room he said he's getting food, and wont be back till like 5:30. Good idea but he's single.[/QUOTE] His mother then.

[QUOTE=Slayerdude111;27156413] Good idea but he's single.[/QUOTE] then fuck him in the ass. same point

Talk with him about the things that he does to make you mad and say if him doesn't stop messing with your stuff and cockblocking you will throw boiling water at his balls while he sleeps. that may work if doesn't... fuck his mom

and his dad and siblings and grandparents

Whatever you do, don't do the mature thing and take measures to get a new roommate. Instead, make a thread on a public messageboard asking for ways to 'get back at him' because you're too unimaginative to think of your own lame ideas. That said, film his reaction to your prank if you do go ahead with it.

[QUOTE=markinluck;27156792] that may work if doesn't... fuck his mom[/QUOTE] What will that accomplish?

[QUOTE=GunFox;27156311]Before you do anything, I'd suggest setting up a bios level password for your computer. In addition I'd also still use a windows level password. Any time you leave your machine just push the windows key + L and it will lock your machine. Make it a habit. It keeps anyone from fucking with your stuff. If your computer is on and you aren't in front of it, then it should be locked. ALWAYS.[/QUOTE] What if I'm missing the windows key? My keyboard doesn't have one.

Do it Facepunch style: Murder him or Do it my style: Pour polyurethane foam in his pc and if you have cupboards seal his with that stuff, when he's not there

Leave the college and open a company

piss on all of his stuff, never tell him about it or own up to it. just deny it and agree with him whenever he says how messed up it is. works like a charm

spoon butter out of tub shit in bottom of tub put butter back in tub put tub back in fridge watch for the next two weeks as he eats the butter lying on top of the shit laugh when eventually he scrapes brown streaks onto his toast and realises that he's been eating shit butter

- I like the unplug video card one.. Or remove some, if not all, RAM. It will still work but it'll slow his shit down alot for sure. - Send weird text messages to girls from his phone. - Put stuff in the shit that he drinks. For example the mentos & coke trick. - Make a wooden table thing, or just use one from yourself, then when hes asleep put it on his bed, then use an air horn. He will scare, try to stand up and BAM, faceplant to wooden table. - Put used gum in his shoes. - Put salt in everything he eats. - Go to his mother and complain.

kill him in his sleep

[QUOTE=Farm;27156108]Put nair and jizz in his shampoo[/QUOTE] this, it'll dissolve his hair in a safe way. His hair will go patchy, and the jizz will just kickk him while he's down.