I got into a relationship with my girlfriend when she first came to university, I met her and stayed in her accommodation her first night here, heavily under the influence of alcohol. We then started 'going steady' around 2 months later. For the first month, she was still with her ex-boyfriend, who lived around 12 hours away. So bluntly put, she was cheating on him with me.
She did break up with him after 1 month, I felt quite bad about the whole situation. It's now 2 years on, me and her are moving into our first flat in 3 days time, but today her ex-boyfriend died, which for a number of reasons I believe could be the result of suicide, I have yet to confirm. I know that in the last 2 years he had been depressed and was on anti-depressants. He attempted to call her 2 days ago, but she didn't pick up.
In your honest opinion, is it at least in part my fault? Is my intense feeling of guilt warranted?
I wouldn't put the blame on yourself. Things like this happen, and most people expect it to happen to "somebody else", but forget that they're "somebody else" to everyone else.
It's a sad story, and I hope everything will get better soon, but don't blame yourself. How is your girlfriend feeling about it?
I dunno dude, but you really have to learn to forgive yourself about these things, 'else you'll go insane and end up like him.
You may have been the precursor, but somebody who gets depressed like that and end up killing themselves rarely do it for one thing that happened 2 years before they do it. I'd say he had a bunch of other, worse, things going on in his life, and perhaps he wasn't even mentally stable to begin with.
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What you did was kinda low (you should have told her to break it off with him asap) but him killing himself isn't your fault.
Only one person makes the call when it comes to suicide and the responsibility lies squarely on their shoulders. Don't beat yourself up over a mistake someone else made.
I guess you're asking us because you do blame yourself and are looking for a quick way to cure that guilt. I can't say either way, I'm not him. Whether you thinkk you are to blame or not, there isn't anything you can do about it now. You have to live with your actions of the past.
[QUOTE=Empty_Shadow;41985735]What you did was kinda low (you should have told her to break it off with him asap) but him killing himself isn't your fault.
Only one person makes the call when it comes to suicide and the responsibility lies squarely on their shoulders. Don't beat yourself up over a mistake someone else made.[/QUOTE]
I did, I pretty much gave her a choice of either she tells him or I end it, after which it ended pretty quick.
And yeah, this is what I keep telling myself, but since I don't know the full story yet (and may never know) I can't help thinking it's my fault.
[QUOTE=metallics;41985869]I guess you're asking us because you do blame yourself and are looking for a quick way to cure that guilt. I can't say either way, I'm not him. Whether you thinkk you are to blame or not, there isn't anything you can do about it now. You have to live with your actions of the past.[/QUOTE]
Nail on the head, I won't deny it.
It isn´t your fault, you loved her and you can´t help that, she loved you and can´t help that either, she should´ve broken it off when she started loving you.
Everyone dies sooner or later. No need to feel bad
[QUOTE=LVL FACTORY;41988059]Everyone dies sooner or later. No need to feel bad[/QUOTE]
terrible excuse for any death ever
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