• Empires and Revolutions - Forum based Historical RP
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https://i.imgur.com/moCthlD.png https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09NPooFnsPI "A Celt will soon be as rare on the banks of the Shannon as the red man on the banks of Manhattan. - The Times, editorial" Events of 1845: -A giant earthquake destroys Mexico City, causing millions of dollars worth of improvement. Some Mexicans begin making offerings to the god Quetzalcoatl in the hopes of summoning a big titted dragon girl to fix the nations numerous problems. -The Great Britain (the largest manmade moving object until Amy Schumer), sets sail on her maiden voyage from Liverpool to New York. It brings 45 passengers hoping to get H1b visas. -Potato blight is brought to Europe as a gift by the Yankees, where it rapidly establishes itself and begins to infest potato plants throughout western Europe. By the end of 1845 a third of the crop has been destroyed in Ireland alone. https://i.imgur.com/YtlhCZg.png Sokoto Caliphate – Native Hunter Capital: Sokoto -Hoping to impress his less loyal nobles, the Caliph begins hosting wargames at great expense outside the capital and pretending to fight a war while he sits on a nearby hill and masturbates to the scene of military power. He then convinces the emirs with standing troops to protect trade routes and subjugate the tribes in return for dropping his opposition to regional militias. -With trade protected and growing, the Caliph grows the testicles to impose a small tariff which is opposed by the landed gentry. Despite the anger, it raises so much money that the government is able to help set up some banks (until now they lacked capital) and pressures them to hand out loads of low-interest loans to entrepenuers. Many of them are farmers who buy land, slaves and (newly imported) guano from overseas for fertilizer. -The economy picks up steam, and confident of the growing power of the country Sokoto establishes embassies in London and Paris. Cotton is in particular demand and some westerners express interest in developing the ports and in trialling new crops from overseas. Some westerners are also helping to establish libraries full of copies of Harry Potter, under the impression it will help the peasants learn how to read. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/380547070802788362/424378544769073162/fleg.png Qing China – Ruskie Capital: Beijing -Western representatives come ashore threatening conflict if so much as a single christian hair is harmed, and so the Emperor declares he actually has always loved christians and immediately lifts the ban and sacks the appointee who implemented it, pleasing the forigners enough that they go back home. Immediately following this the Emperor simply tells the authorities to arrest cult members on drumpfed up charges such as sedition, corruption, banditry, and harassing female videogame journalists and developers. -To ensure enforcement of the new edicts, he hires Hui Muslims from the northwest to head over the areas with Christian populations (supposing they won't be converted). In one instance a rioting mob is quelled after a Hui soldier drives a cart into them at full speed and jumps out to stab several of them with unlicensed chopsticks. Soon a degree of order is restored but economic troubles and general dissatisfaction with the heavy hand of the central authorities and the taxmen leaves many underlying issues bubbling away. -The Green Banner Army (formerly the Green Standard Army) is assembled in Beijing by Esteemed Comptroller Lord Chinkenridge, who then goes on to march into Manchuria. Promising leniency if they surrender, the Manchurians ungratefully refuse to do so and opt instead for disobedience. After several skirmishes and a pitched battle, Chinkenridge gives up and just orders his Han soldiers to begin "cleansing", justifying his actions by saying "Who after all, remembers the Dzungars?" They ransack settlements and slaughter many before some Manchu nobles begin defecting. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/304711075478241280/424623538159353887/250px_Brazil.png Empire of Brazil – Firefox42 Capital: Rio de Janeiro -With the war costing him money that could otherwise be spent on steam games and following patreon hentai artists, Pedro begins finding ways to get extra cash. He abolishes the national police force, causing corruption and violent crime to go down. Next he borrows heavily from Britain and the United States, both promising not to invade if he defaults on the debt. With the money he procures more supplies and reinforcements to fight in Uruguay. -The Argentinians come to Uruguay, this time with an upset looking Manuel Oribe demanding his land back. Britain and America both insist Uruguayan waterways remain open, while the Montevideo Uruguayans still desire soverignity after the Argentinians are expelled. Garibaldi leaves early in a rush to help in the Italian war with his legion, dealing a blow to Montevideo. Several pitched battles cripple all but the Brazillian forces, leaving them the sole entity to garrison the country at expense against Argentina. -After waking up and having a good wank, a businessman in Rio de Janeiro rifles through his subscribed "current affairs" magazines and after chucking aside the ones with pictures of transgender women and lesbians on the cover, he finds one talking about the invention of "Vulcanized rubber". In a rush he travels to America to meet Goodyear, who offers to license his new vulcanization process. Already one business in America is making very poor quality shoes (but at least they don't melt). The businessman tries to import shoes for resale but they fail to arrive. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/250451821477232640/434398657719042089/unknown.png Sardinia-Piedmont - Pezgod1 Capital: Turin -With the war against Austria going badly, Garibaldi is invited back from Uruguay to help win the war against Austria. But it will take many months for him to return, and so in the interim the Sardinians send a navy to Venice where the citizens have risen in rebellion against the Austrians. Unfortunately the navy tries to help by shelling the city and accidentally kills many of the Venetians in the process. Later it is revealed that despite naval superiority it does not make up for having a shitty and small land army. -The Austrians push west with reinforcements and smash the Italians at the Battle of Custoza, where Signore Bekirigizzone is recalled from duty to serve as a diplomat to Britain under the psuedonym "Lord Beckridge". He uses the opportunity to seduce King Charles Alberts wife, and although the King discovered them eloping he opted to sit down and watch while masturbating. After Beckenridge left he boasted how he fucked his wife more regardless, before it was revealed this was not the first visit. -The Italian states realise that they can't switch to the winning side in this war, and so begin panicking. Despite withdrawing troops from the rest of the kingdom and Garibaldi returning to help these reinforcements come too late and in too few a number. By the end of the year the Austrians march into Milan and seize the city, demanding war indemnities in return for the vandalism wrought by the Italians. In spite of the great failures and the deaths of many, the Risorgimento campaign enjoys mass popular support like never before. https://i.imgur.com/S6sQK9U.png New Colombia – Crossu88 Capital: Bogota -Without much money, railways, skills, or white people, New Colombia is in trouble. Despite military successes the army is struggling to hold down occupied Ecuador and so the President calls for peace with Venezuela. Both parties agree to the status quo (with Colombia retaining a de jure claim to Venezuela), while quietly denying the existence of Ecuador as anything but a province of Colombia. The Ecuadorians celebrate by burning down the brand new courthouses Colombia graciously built for them and lynching Venezuelans. -Having agreed to peace, the country can return to a state of normalcy in which murders are not reported daily but rather every two or three days. With peace now reigning, the nations attention turns to Panama where the government has invited French investors to build a railway. After landing on Manzanillo Island the French discover it is a disease-ridden swamp heavily overgrown with stinking plants. They begin by clearing the vegetation and trying to build a port.  -By the end of the year several hundred have died of disease and later a ship is forced to dock there in a storm. Hoping it carries food, the workers go onboard to discover nothing but shitty rubber shoes. Later a supply ship brings enough materials to allow for the construction of about 200 yards of track before the workers realise that they have run out of gravel to build a causeway to the mainland. Later the French engineer shows the Colombian official he has made great progress by putting a giant painted canvas at the end of the track to fool him into thinking it is longer than it actually is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2az8ch_EIU "The epoch of individuality is concluded, and it is the duty of reformers to initiate the epoch of association. Collective man is omnipotent upon the earth he treads." - Giuseppe Mazzini Events of 1846: -The Mormons begin heading west into Utah, where most famously one day their descendants will play a crucial role in the events of the Fallout New Vegas: Honest Hearts downloadable content pack. -The Japanese Civil war comes to an end as the Shogunate reasserts control and begins campaigns of repression. The Dutch provide a crucial role in supplying arms and shelling the castles of rebellious daimyo. -Millions of unfortunate Irishmen starve as the potato crop fails, and so they flee overseas or otherwise die from diseases as is befitting of the Irish. They flood the United States, bringing with them many problems that continue to plague the USA for centuries after. https://i.imgur.com/YtlhCZg.png Sokoto Caliphate – Native Hunter Capital: Sokoto -The conflict between the Sokoto central government and the regional emirs and gentry comes to a head when the Caliph sees a woman with pendulously large breasts, causing him to woop loudly and then faint and split his head upon a stone, killing him instantly. The government falls into crisis as the main unifying force is now gone. -Oluwasanmi (one of the Caliphs officers) seizes control of the army and the capital, and introduces a great number of autocratic policies. Unfortunately for him, the emirs who still have troops march on the capital and pull off a daring assault (with some foreign help) during which he is killed. Pro-British Emir Monisola is brought to power to replace him and on the advice of the British ambassador he drafts a constitution. -Shortly a new government is formed and unusually the country does not immediately dissolve (the army would go and kill a lot of people to prevent this), introducing new policies and legislation. A patent system comes into being (the sole patent this year was for an ironing board) along with other business and legal reforms palatable to the British. Monisola attempts a campaign in the southeast but with frequent tribal uprisings he is forced to turn back. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/380547070802788362/424378544769073162/fleg.png Qing China – Ruskie Capital: Beijing -Lord Chinkenridge continues his campaign into Manchuria, killing tens of thousands and pillaging the land, making good on his sworn statement to "cuck every man in Manchuria" by raping over seven thousand women and sixty five trannies. Ethnic Han immigrants gleefully join in and ransack the estates of the Manchu nobility. By the end of the summer the rebellion collapses and the ringleaders are captured and executed. -The Emperor then considers the time right to begin a series of ambitious land reforms, hoping to improve agricultural production. He begins rebuilding the granary network and perhaps more innovatively, he also places orders for the best agricultural tools and equipment so that they can loaned out to the peasantry. In return the state takes some of their food which is then stored in granaries as strategic reserves.  -Breaking the back of the Manchu nobility and reforming the government have bought the Emperor a great deal of newfound respect from his subjects, especially as he proves capable in his handlings with foreign powers. While still vulnerable and horribly weak, the Chinese government has weathered many of the criseses well and has put itself on a better footing as the Manchu grip loosens. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/304711075478241280/424623538159353887/250px_Brazil.png Empire of Brazil – Firefox42 Capital: Rio de Janeiro -Overwhelmed with documents on the economy and geopolitical situiation, the Emperor develops a severe case of depression and refuses to leave his bedroom for days at a time. However this is long before the advent of anime and hormone replacement therapy, and so he quickly recovers. Stressed by the Uruguay war, he says "fuck it" and just up and annexes the country. His ungrateful new subjects protest and join the guerilla groups to his chagrin. -The Argentine navy attempts to desperately break out from Buenos Aires, one of their frigates managing so before it tries to flee back to port. The Brazillians sink it and immediately print the news of the sinking in all the national papers with titles such as "El negro recibió un golpe" to the great delight of the people and utter outrage of the Argentinians. Soon afterwards the Argentine government sues for peace, causing widespread riots. -Despite success in war, the peace isn't quite so great. A postwar recession sweeps down on the empire along with a horde of Irishmen fleeing famine. Invited by the Emperor himself, they set up shantytowns and begin drinking as they did back in the old country. Railway construction and industrial development are both sluggish, especially since the government has taken on a great deal of debt. The only good news to come is that rubber exports have started picking up. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/250451821477232640/434398657719042089/unknown.png Sardinia-Piedmont - Pezgod1 Capital: Turin -The war builds up to a crescendo as the Austrians leave Milan and march on the capital, with the Piedmontese unable to act as the King suffers a breakdown. Humiliated and beaten, King Charles jumps out of the window in despair and suffers severe injuries. The demoralised Italians then begin surrendering and to prevent the complete loss of face among the Italians the Piedmontese government assumes the lions share of responsibility and debt in order to pay the war indemnities. The borders are restored to the status quo and the Italian states are compelled to suppress Risorgimento movements. -The aftermath of the war sees numerous problems crop up as the colonies show signs of displeasure and require additional garrisons. Since the Austrian government discourages Pan-Italian organisations trade has taken a hit likewise as the customs union is made defunct in practice due to the war. The cabinet falls and is replaced by a new one, one determined to show that it can lead successfully by (secretly) ordering the construction of more ships and building several arms and munitions factories, but at the cost of taking on considerable debt.  -Lord Beckenridge returns to Italy where he has numerous adventures with italian noblewomen who are in their prime age (before they get dumpy and angry). https://i.imgur.com/S6sQK9U.png New Colombia – Crossu88 Capital: Bogota -Little takes place in Colombia this year, besides millions of people cooking and eating food everyday, numerous births and deaths, the construction of housing, fires, illnesses, crime, new businesses, and not much else. A low-level insurgency bubbles away in Ecuador where the inhabitants try to throw off the Colombian yoke, and the treasurer heroically diverts money intended for an orphanage to service the debt to France (he even refinances it to get a lower interest rate and is given a medal for his efforts). -In Panama railroad construction continues, and it is a very gruelling business indeed. The workers find a nearby quarry (thus solving the gravel shortage) and also shiploads of Irishmen arrive to find work (who are very good at being mosquito-fodder). Two miles of track are laid, and the French even manage to get a steam locomotive running up and down the line. Upon leaving the swamp and reaching dry ground at Monkey Kill they turn it into a cemetary called "Little Ireland". Despite the progress, the company starts to run out of money.
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