Swog don't give up man, it's tough and you've made some 'mistakes' but this is what life is all about... Getting knocked down, picking yourself up and trying again. You're putting yourself out there and that's hard, but in doing so you will (hopefully) learn who you are as a person.
If I may be so presumptuous... I think your problem is that you look outwardly for meaning in your life. I was like that too until I began to look inwardly, at myself. It was very hard at first and I found out that I had a lot of self-directed negativity inside of me (I see you do too), but by pushing myself through competitive sport, creating art (i.e. SFM animations) and forcing myself to confront my inner darkness, I began to slowly come to terms with who I was as a person. No one is perfect or ever will be but only once you begin to know yourself and accept yourself, flaws and all, can you truly find peace.
Once you reach that point nothing anybody says can ever hurt you because you KNOW that deep down you like who you are as a person. Creating art is a great way to go on this journey because every time you create art you put a piece of yourself in it and when people attack it they are in effect attacking you. It's important to be able to look at your art objectively as well as being able to look at yourself and your emotions objectively.
I'm not saying you shouldn't feel... emotions are a critical part of being human, but don't let your emotions rule you. You can feel something but still control your reaction to that feeling.
Anyway, I hope you don't give up, you're at the beginning of a life long journey and the first steps are the hardest, but if you keep pushing, and keep discovering, it will only get easier.
“As you think, so shall you become.”
- Bruce Lee
I just can't deal with at least 3 disorders I know that I have that affects me and forces me to not be socially-centered and make me stupid around other people..
I admit I've been the biggest retard here being stupid for bawling over some criticizing.
Can an admin or moderator delete this? I don't want future people looking back into my history and making fun of it just because of this.
Oh, and that video, I'm continuing it.
[QUOTE=Swog;37582963]I just can't deal with at least 3 disorders I know that I have that affects me and forces me to not be socially-centered and make me stupid around other people..
I admit I've been the biggest retard here being stupid for bawling over some criticizing.
Can an admin or moderator delete this? I don't want future people looking back into my history and making fun of it just because of this.
Oh, and that video, I'm continuing it.[/QUOTE]
Well unfortunately for you, this journey will just be harder, but you will become better for it. The bigger the adversity the bigger the person that overcomes it. I'm no doctor but I know that social disorders can often be overcome. It's not fair that you were saddled with these burdens but it just means you will have to try harder, push harder. Don't let these disorders define WHO YOU ARE as a person. You are not your disorder. I have a weight problem and other health issues but I've decided that's not what I am. I'm me, and if someone doesn't like that, that's their problem! I'm glad to hear you're continuining your work. :) Maybe wait a bit longer before you post a WIP haha. Oh, and don't delete this thread, you should never hide from your past, instead embrace it, even the bad stuff defines who you are as a person, just don't let it be the ONLY thing that defines you. The true test of a champion is not what they do when they're winning, but what they do when they're loosing.
Swog, I know you can get better, you just have to set a higher standard for yourself before you release things publicly, and maybe look up a tutorial or two.
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