I love these fucking handwaves you people are writing.
Explain why the ambassor does not have a bullet hole
[QUOTE=MadMaxJ;21409793]Explain why the ambassor does not have a bullet hole[/QUOTE]
Valve is lazy, duh.
[QUOTE=swampie;21409661]how does the eyelander and charge'n'targe work?[/QUOTE]
Charge'n'Targe:
Demoman gathers his strength to run as fast as he can to ram his enemy.
The shield absorves the impact damage of explosives and as it burns better than Demoman the fire is easier to direct to the shield.
The reason he have to "recharge" his charges is simple, he is a big man that can not muster running at that speed very long or very often.
The velocity caused by his running speed during the charge is what causes his weapons to deal more damage.
He can't use his Sticky Launcher while wielding the Targe because the shield gets in the way and makes his aim worse, and because it's hard as hell to aim the Sticky Launcher while running at that speed.
The Eyelander:
LOLOLOLOL A THING LIVES IN THE SWORD THAT LIKES TO RECEIVE HEAD AND HE WANT YOU TO KILL PEOPLE AND GET HEAD BECAUSE HE IS HAUNTED AND HE IS HAUNTING YOUR SWORD AND IS ZOMBIE GOAST.
[QUOTE=MadMaxJ;21409793]Explain why the ambassor does not have a bullet hole[/QUOTE]
the bullets are set off electrically
[QUOTE=The mouse;21409110]how does the sandman work :downs:[/QUOTE]
It's made of asbestos.
[editline]09:23PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Maurice;21409263]Look at this graph:
[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/scientific_Graph.png[/img]
Yep. Telling figures, indeed.[/QUOTE]
the axes are not labeled WHAT IS THIS TOMFOOLERY
Backburner: Pointy end stabbed into the victim by vicious pyros.
[QUOTE=swampie;21409197]how do idle maps work?
[sp] trigger_hurt [/sp][/QUOTE]
Thousands of wives are left husbandless.
If you're using female Scout, thousands of husbands are left wifeless.
The Lugermorph works by being in an alternate dimension when not in use. This altermate dimension is exactly the size of a pair of jogging slacks and is very warm and moist.
[QUOTE=The Inzuki;21408437]Good luck telling me how the Medi-gun works.[/QUOTE]
Alcohol.
The direct hit,Saxton Hale and Mann co. created it with their BARE HANDS!
The Huntsman works by being made of a huge shitting piece of glass, with an arrow inside of it. It looks like an arrow coming at you, but it's really a 2x4 piece of glass. With an arrow.
The Scottish Resistance works like this. Each individual sticky bomb has emotions and feelings. However, it can only comprehend fear. When looked at, it changes color, signifying an increase in it's fear. Right-clicking causes you not to detonate them, but to glare at the stickies that changed color, so that way, they become so scared shitless, they explode.
Sniper Rifle:
When aiming through the scope, something clicks and you can get crits.
When firing, you loose your click and then you have to charge it up again.
The Direct Hit works by the rockets being fueled not by normal fuel, but by Saxton Hale's sweat. Thus, it goes faster, but is stronger. But they needed to use less gunpowder to make room for the sweat. So thus, it has a small explosion.
Many of the unlocks are forged with technology so advanced it is indistinguishable from magic, as well as enchanted by magics so obscure they are indistinguishable from technology. Some can be explained, some can't really.
Chargin' Targe uses a time bubble that accelerates Demoman's physical time, but doesn't affect his mental/spiritual time.
Eyelander is a vessel that traps a spirit empowered with life-absorbing energies, with the spirit sharing a symbiotic relationship with it's "host", absorbing some of the life energies of it's kill personally, and feeding a more-or-less equal amount to it's willing host, enhancing the wielder's lifeforce and speed as both an incentive and an insurance policy, rewarding it's servant for his services and preparing it for his next kill. Due to it's non-mobility, it relies on it's host to help it feed.
Axtinguisher has an ionic enhancement charge, exponentially increasing the chemical reactions present in combusting matter for a very brief instant, dealing massive damage.
Backburner is also inhabited by a spirit, albiet a more primitive one. The "dragonhead" at the mouth of the Backburner has a spiritual "line of sight" that senses the bio-electrical reactions present in spinal fluid. When it senses these reactions to be in range, it generates an ionic enhancement field within the mouth, similar to the Axtinguisher, making the fire even more powerful.
Force-A-Nature has far stronger propellant in it's shells, as well as kineto-absorbative buckshot, which absorbs kinetic energy to a certain capacity, thus meaning that the pellets travel at the same speed as regular pellets, but have a higher kinetic payload, which is deployed when a charged pellet contacts solid (or liquid) matter. The high-strength propellant in the shells also result in high knockback, permitting the Scout to propell himself upwards to a certain degree.
Scout's double-jump originates from an elemental enchantment he somehow acquired as a youth, after drinking some weird brewski he bought in some Chinese shop in downtown Boston. The "potion" caused the enchantment within the liquid, aligned with the elemental power of Air, to bind to Scout's flesh and bone, effectively blessing him with a "spell". This "spell" basically allowed him to generate alterations in his bodily motion, specifically redirecting his potential kinetic energy in a specific when he willed it, although this only lasted a second or two, with his (mostly) upwards velocity being quickly rectified by gravity. Initially just using it to jump once but higher, he soon learned to "cast" it after jumping once already, thus allowing him to potentially change his direction mid-jump.
Buff Banner causes Soldier's weaponry to become linked to the backpack he wears, with every projectile redirecting the lost life energies torn from damaged enemies directly into the backpack. The backpack contains an enchanted trumpet that reacts to air passing through it for a certain length of time (a few seconds), causing the re-attuned life energies to resonate outwards from the backpack, empowering the weapons of any nearby ally with increased levels of damaging energy.
Jarate is a "throwing potion" charged with negative energy particles that weaken the bonds between atoms, explaining why damage dealt to an enemy saturated with the potion is increased, and why the jar smashes so easily and so intensely upon impact.
That's all the arcane nature I can speculate for now.
[QUOTE=LegndNikko;21414322]The Direct Hit works by the rockets being fueled not by normal fuel, but by Saxton Hale's sweat. Thus, it goes faster, but is stronger. But they needed to use less gunpowder to make room for the sweat. So thus, it has a small explosion.[/QUOTE]
When did this become a Saxton Hale is the new Chuck Norris thread?
[QUOTE=ironman17;21414447]Wall of text[/QUOTE]
Quite the response you have there. :golfclap:
[QUOTE=Max of S2D;21409626]The K.G.B. works because the glove is made of that material that gets harder by hitting things.
[/QUOTE]
Concrete?
That explains the slower rate of fire, but why would it make your Sandvich change color?
[QUOTE=lolracoon;21415955]When did this become a Saxton Hale is the new Chuck Norris thread?
[/QUOTE]
It never did. I'm just stating facts.
Admit it. Can you come up with a liable explanation?
The Charge 'n' Targe has powerful jets on it which pushes the Demoman along.
The Huntsman uses a string to force arrows into enemies.
Kritzkrieg works by nanites (or nanobots as it used to be called) in water vapour designed to heal wounds and when pumped with special nanites they power up your gun with themselves for a short period of time, altering bullets and shit until they die off after a few seconds.
[QUOTE=LegndNikko;21417847]It never did. I'm just stating facts.
Admit it. Can you come up with a liable explanation?[/QUOTE]
The direct hit launcher has a differently shaped barrel, and uses are more forceful rocket fuel to propel rockets at a higher speed?
how does the minigun get ammo with jars of pee?
[QUOTE=Dr.Scrake;21425476]how does the minigun get ammo with jars of pee?[/QUOTE]
It boils it and makes bullets out of the compounds dissolved in the urine.
The KGB works because it's filled with a corn starch/water solution.
[QUOTE=AlfieSR;21409674] Overhealing is when your body's natural healing process has nothing to do in itself, so it's [b]idle[/b] process begins to optimize your body. [/QUOTE]
Right in the achievement_
the fists work punching
Disguise kit explanation? Anyone?
[QUOTE=HyperTails;21427630]Disguise kit explanation? Anyone?[/QUOTE]
It takes an image of the enemy and creates a cloaking field similar to the cloak that covers his entire body. Spy is a very talented actor so that explains the voices and it has a mini IFF so sentries won't attack him and dispensers will heal him
Ermmm, NO! Cardboard masks.
[QUOTE=Maximo13;21428464]Ermmm, NO! Cardboard masks.[/QUOTE]
I'm trying to sound like I actually know what I'm saying for once :ssh:
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