Major Update Speculation Thread v12: Layoffs Edition
5,806 replies, posted
[QUOTE=TectoImprov;39727801]What is Squigly's character anyway?[/QUOTE]
Undead opera singer that avoided being a brainless zombie drone due to the unatural relationship with her parasite. leviathan.
[QUOTE=psyke;39727828]Undead opera singer that avoided being a brainless zombie drone due to the unatural relationship with her parasite. leviathan.[/QUOTE]
Huh, that's really odd.
[QUOTE=psyke;39727828]Undead opera singer that avoided being a brainless zombie drone due to the unatural relationship with her parasite. leviathan.[/QUOTE]
now turn that into 3 paragraphs and you probably have a what the item description will be
[QUOTE=zipziggy;39727948]now turn that into 3 paragraphs and you probably have a what the item description will be[/QUOTE]
Add something "funny" that is, in actuality, awkward, uncomfortable and in all likelyhood disgusting as well, such as alcoholism, relationship issues, or the concept of the Soldier smoking gravel, manure, human hair, and taco seasoning.
HOLY run-on sentence. Would make a good item description.
Is it bad that I kind of want ARMA III promos :(
[QUOTE=psyke;39727115]See this version DOES have a vmt
but what it doesn't have is a good specular/normal map yet
nor a finished texture [sp]i hope[/sp]
Honestly to make it more compact he could have done it a bit more like this
[img]http://puu.sh/28UZO[/img]
[b]Please excuse my fantastic ms-paint skills[/b][/QUOTE]
[img]https://dl.dropbox.com/u/67144542/Drawings/whatthefuckamidoingwithmylife.png[/img]
[QUOTE=HerSilverHammer;39727991]Add something "funny" that is, in actually, awkward, uncomfortable and in all likelyhood disgusting as well, such as alcoholism, relationship issues, or the concept of the Soldier smoking gravel, manure, human hair, and taco seasoning.
HOLY run-on sentence. Would make a good item description.[/QUOTE]
on the subject on the stoogie; i really am surprised that it hasn't got genteel pipe smoke yet
i am also surprised that after 2 years VALVe still hasn't added the creator fix for the flamboyant flamenco
[url=http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showpost.php?p=34063887&postcount=563]Be aware that Steam should be going down any minute now for maintenance[/url]
At this rate, we might as well see if we can do an overly long description for Leviathan. See how close we get to Valve's description.
[QUOTE=1Eevee1;39728085]At this rate, we might as well see if we can do an overly long description for Leviathan. See how close we get to Valve's description.[/QUOTE]
I'm gonna guess that "long", "head" and "penetration" will be keywords.
"Now you too can feel the erotic pleasure of having a large long brain parasite ripping and tearing through your UNHATLESS head!"
[QUOTE=1Eevee1;39728136]"Now you too can feel the erotic pleasure of having a large long brain parasite ripping and tearing through your UNHATLESS head!"[/QUOTE]
Gonna need about 2 more pages on that and your hired!
So, should we call Junkie over to write it, then?
[QUOTE=1Eevee1;39728191]So, should we call Junkie over to write it, then?[/QUOTE]
If anyone wants to get in an argument over it with me, I'm sure I can piece one together over a page or so.
"The hat you see before you is a skeletal cranial worm, invented by the renowned inventor, president and mad scientist Abraham Lincoln for the sole purpose of burrowing straight through your mind. Why would the late President engineer such a creature, and where did he obtain the ability to see into the future? No one knows. What we do know is that you've got something on your face. Or rather in it. Enjoy."
Major Update Speculation Thread v12: Erotic Penetrating Brain Parasite Edition
[QUOTE=Lium;39728243]"The hat you see before you is a skeletal cranial worm, invented by the renowned inventor, president mad scientist Abraham Lincoln for the sole purpose of burrowing straight through your mind. Why would the late President engineer such a creature, and where did he obtain the ability to see into the future? No one knows. What we do know is that you've got something on your face. Or rather in it. Enjoy."[/QUOTE]
Replace "Enjoy" with "As the late former president was burrowing deep inside of my now ex-wife last night." and you have a winner.
[QUOTE=HerSilverHammer;39728263]Replace "Enjoy" with "As the late former president was burrowing deep inside of my now ex-wife last night." and you have a winner.[/QUOTE]
Too short. Break out your thesauruses boys! It's gonna be a long night...
TF2 is in decline and the community is so desperate that they're speculating over ugly promos.
[T]http://files.myopera.com/simplicitylinux/albums/2541041/evil-tux-1280x1024.png[/T]
[I]Excellent.[/I] Everything is going according to plan.
Einstien. George Washington. Micheal Jordon. All of these men have several things in common. They all have great skills, and can be found in the history books. But did you know that they all have one fatal flaw as well? They didn't have a giant, intimidating worm pierced through their head. Exceed the legacy of Einstien, George Washington, and Micheal Jordon by having this creature in your skull!
Because when your best friend is a skeletal worm who will be there till the end of the end of the end (that's forever) it's only logical you share everything. (tooth brush, virginity, Vaseline, and of course, brain cells!)
is this really what the MUS thread is doing right now
oh, how the mighty have fallen
The Head Snake
Now, you might be wondering what a giant snake is doing in this game, or more specifically, lodged in your chosen merc’s skull. If this is the case, and we're assuming it is, we feel obligated to scoff at you. Why? Well, we ask why there hasn't been a snake burrowing through our fine merc's cranial cavities throughout these years. To anybody other than our amazing, and admittedly already quite mentally damaged mercenaries, such a thing would be deadly, due to the piercing of the temporal and parietal lobes, so why are our fine mercs surviving this horrific parasite's attempts to create an army of snake controlled super soldiers? We don't know, nor do we care, but you probably do, and that brings us back to you. You have no sense of danger, do you? We like your style, but we have to warn you, due to legal formalities, that as you're reading this witty and not at all overly long item description, a HEAD SNAKE IS BURROWING INTO YOUR SKULL RIGHT NOW! Ha! Got you, didn't we? Of course we did. We're not only masters of comedy, but also masters of trickery. But we digress. This cumbersome and ugly item signifies the wearer's bravery, and undeniable ability to not die, despite having scales lodged in their cortex. Who's going to mess with such a brave person? We'll tell you who. Martin Van Buren. Ever since his inauguration as the seventy ninth chancellor of the USSR in the year 1200, Martin was determined to kill every head snake in existence. After killing several thousand of them in The Great Battle of Waterloo, Martin was known as the biggest badass the world had ever seen. Ever since then, the head snakes have been plotting their revenge, and now they're taking it! Go find a fine rich gentleman on the streets, what do you notice about him? Smooth skin, a well combed mustache, a dapper suit, and a bony white thing sticking out of his head. You might say "Willikers, that fine gentlemanne doth have a right spanking snake a-popping from his noggin! Forsooth!” and this would be a proper response. Alas, it would be too late for you to ask him why the strange fashion choice, as a head snake will already have taken you. Truly, the most symbiotic relationship the world has ever known. The head snake lives off of one’s brain fluids, but in return, the person suffering has quite a dashing piece of living headgear. It's as gruesome as it is elegant. And trust us when we say that this is the most elegant hat that you will ever (be) own(ed by).
[QUOTE=SirVerbose;39728755]The Head Snake
Now, you might be wondering what a giant snake is doing in this game, or more specifically, lodged in your chosen merc’s skull. If this is the case, and we're assuming it is, we feel obligated to scoff at you. Why? Well, we ask why there hasn't been a snake burrowing through our fine merc's cranial cavities throughout these years. To anybody other than our amazing, and admittedly already quite mentally damaged mercenaries, such a thing would be deadly, due to the piercing of the temporal and parietal lobes, so why are our fine mercs surviving this horrific parasite's attempts to create an army of snake controlled super soldiers? We don't know, nor do we care, but you probably do, and that brings us back to you. You have no sense of danger, do you? We like your style, but we have to warn you, due to legal formalities, that as you're reading this witty and not at all overly long item description, a HEAD SNAKE IS BURROWING INTO YOUR SKULL RIGHT NOW! Ha! Got you, didn't we? Of course we did. We're not only masters of comedy, but also masters of trickery. But we digress. This cumbersome and ugly item signifies the wearer's bravery, and undeniable ability to not die, despite having scales lodged in their cortex. Who's going to mess with such a brave person? We'll tell you who. Martin Van Buren. Ever since his inauguration as the seventy ninth chancellor of the USSR in the year 1200, Martin was determined to kill every head snake in existence. After killing several thousand of them in The Great Battle of Waterloo, Martin was known as the biggest badass the world had ever seen. Ever since then, the head snakes have been plotting their revenge, and now they're taking it! Go find a fine rich gentleman on the streets, what do you notice about him? Smooth skin, a well combed mustache, a dapper suit, and a bony white thing sticking out of his head. You might say "Willikers, that fine gentlemanne doth have a right spanking snake a-popping from his noggin! Forsooth!” and this would be a proper response. Alas, it would be too late for you to ask him why the strange fashion choice, as a head snake will already have taken you. Truly, the most symbiotic relationship the world has ever known. The head snake lives off of one’s brain fluids, but in return, the person suffering has quite a dashing piece of living headgear. It's as gruesome as it is elegant. And trust us when we say that this is the most elegant hat that you will ever (be) own(ed by).[/QUOTE]
If this gets in, expect a raise in Descrip tags.
Headsnake? Headsnake?! HEADSNAAAAAAAAAAKE!
[QUOTE=SirVerbose;39728755]The Head Snake
Now, you might be wondering what a giant snake is doing in this game, or more specifically, lodged in your chosen merc’s skull. If this is the case, and we're assuming it is, we feel obligated to scoff at you. Why? Well, we ask why there hasn't been a snake burrowing through our fine merc's cranial cavities throughout these years. To anybody other than our amazing, and admittedly already quite mentally damaged mercenaries, such a thing would be deadly, due to the piercing of the temporal and parietal lobes, so why are our fine mercs surviving this horrific parasite's attempts to create an army of snake controlled super soldiers? We don't know, nor do we care, but you probably do, and that brings us back to you. You have no sense of danger, do you? We like your style, but we have to warn you, due to legal formalities, that as you're reading this witty and not at all overly long item description, a HEAD SNAKE IS BURROWING INTO YOUR SKULL RIGHT NOW! Ha! Got you, didn't we? Of course we did. We're not only masters of comedy, but also masters of trickery. But we digress. This cumbersome and ugly item signifies the wearer's bravery, and undeniable ability to not die, despite having scales lodged in their cortex. Who's going to mess with such a brave person? We'll tell you who. Martin Van Buren. Ever since his inauguration as the seventy ninth chancellor of the USSR in the year 1200, Martin was determined to kill every head snake in existence. After killing several thousand of them in The Great Battle of Waterloo, Martin was known as the biggest badass the world had ever seen. Ever since then, the head snakes have been plotting their revenge, and now they're taking it! Go find a fine rich gentleman on the streets, what do you notice about him? Smooth skin, a well combed mustache, a dapper suit, and a bony white thing sticking out of his head. You might say "Willikers, that fine gentlemanne doth have a right spanking snake a-popping from his noggin! Forsooth!” and this would be a proper response. Alas, it would be too late for you to ask him why the strange fashion choice, as a head snake will already have taken you. Truly, the most symbiotic relationship the world has ever known. The head snake lives off of one’s brain fluids, but in return, the person suffering has quite a dashing piece of living headgear. It's as gruesome as it is elegant. And trust us when we say that this is the most elegant hat that you will ever (be) own(ed by).[/QUOTE]
Needs more parenthesis and alliteration. I estimate we got about another 6 paragraphs to go...
[QUOTE=The Calzone;39728740]is this really what the MUS thread is doing right now
oh, how the mighty have fallen[/QUOTE]
"the most popular TF2 thread on the Internet"
...now discusses erotic descriptions to promo items coming in a few months
[QUOTE=ned_ballad;39728852]"the most popular TF2 thread on the Internet"
...now discusses erotic descriptions to promo items coming in a few months[/QUOTE]
This is bad comedy.
Someone in the STS should give us something to look forward to. I can't even count on the usual people to blue-ball me with half-truths right now.
That said I do not miss Testinglol. I'd rather have Ronin's inane winking back over him.
We need more of those hilarious (unfunny) parentheses phrases.
They're really not used enough (used way too often).
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