TF2 Hat Describing Contest #2

[Omninerd]

[QUOTE=TomoAlien;43138437][thumb]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/7/7b/RED_Stockbroker%27s_Scarf.png/800px-RED_Stockbroker%27s_Scarf.png?t=20120416180302[/thumb]

Show everyone that you know the hottest trends on the market![/QUOTE]

Oh god, I want this!

[NeoDement]

[QUOTE=Moustacheman;43139210][IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/6/65/RED_Cotton_Head.png/170px-RED_Cotton_Head.png[/IMG]

1: Use this fedora to join the illustrious ranks of French electro musicians, euphoric teenagers, and middle-aged science teachers with meth labs. Go out there and make those neckbeards proud.

2: For when you want to get away from it all. It all being all those people you've set on fire.

3: Look good, pick up women, join forces with a giant French robot and kill aliens by doing the Charleston. This hat does everything except those.[/QUOTE]
don't think that's a fedora

[Muhpit]

[QUOTE=NeoDement;43140715]don't think that's a fedora[/QUOTE]

It's a trilby. Basically a squashed fedora so he's half right i guess.

[NeoDement]

Half right is just a fancy way of saying wrong

[Mr. Jelly]

Fedora is a broad term, trilby's a kind of fedora

[Venezuelan]

[QUOTE=Moustacheman;43139210][IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/6/65/RED_Cotton_Head.png/170px-RED_Cotton_Head.png[/IMG]
[/QUOTE]

damn that is not a good backpack icon

I didn't even recognize this thing

[Moustacheman]

[QUOTE=NeoDement;43140715]don't think that's a fedora[/QUOTE]

Fixed. Thank you for pointing that out, mate.

[Ouma]

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/8/86/Backpack_El_Jefe.png/90px-Backpack_El_Jefe.png?t=20111119202022[/IMG]

[B]El Jefe[/B]

Spark the new revolution against those eggheads telling you how to properly pronounce Spanish words!

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/e/e6/Backpack_Mann_Co._Online_Cap.png/90px-Backpack_Mann_Co._Online_Cap.png?t=20121221232831[/IMG]

[B]Mann Co. Online Cap[/B]

Support your favorite baseball team that makes hats and doesn't actually play baseball with this cap.

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/a/ab/Backpack_Faun_Feet.png/90px-Backpack_Faun_Feet.png?t=20131029222010[/IMG]

[B]Faun Feet[/B]

Trample your enemies to death with your gun, because these hooves aren't real.

[KirjiroSenzuki]

[img]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/f/f1/Slo-Poke.png[/img]

Some people mock you for being slow on the battlefield and on the news. Heck, you might even tell them that you just knew there were rocket-propelled launchers even though we already know it years ago.

[Lium]

[t]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/8/88/Painted_Polly_Putrid_UNPAINTED.png[/t]

He really was just pining for the fjords.

[t]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/2/27/BLU_Quoth.png/1024px-BLU_Quoth.png[/t]

He's only in it for the eyeballs.

[t]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/f/f1/RED_Buzz_Killer.png[/t]

Don't worry, we've called the SWAT team.

[t]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/4/48/Painted_Coupe_D%27isaster_UNPAINTED.png[/t]

People might mock your hair, but you've no need toupé attention to them.

[XNiggerHunter88X]

[t]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/2/28/Mann_of_Reason.png?t=20131221154209[/t]

Wear this so you can answer "YOU DEBATE MY REASONING POWERS?" when someone asks you "Why in the hell are you wearing that on a battlefield?"

[t]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/2/22/Mann_Of_House.png?t=20131221143020[/t]

DO I SMELL SOILED BABY DIAPER? Well it's a good thing I got some more at the store yesterday.

[t]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/c/c7/Snow_Scoper.png?t=20131221134504[/t]

With something nice like this to keep you warm, you'd think it feels 360 degrees in here.

[t]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/9/9b/Face_Full_of_Festive.png?t=20131222174503[/t]

You know you need help when you have so much static in your beard you can power these lights, but god damn is it festive.

[HerSilverHammer]

I know it already has one, but

[t]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/5/51/Backpack_Hound_Dog.png[/t]

"You are nothing but baby! Crying all the time!"

[StormBlink]

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/a/a4/Five-Month_Shadow.png/250px-Five-Month_Shadow.png?t=20131221134505[/IMG]
[I]Beat your Computer Wife before drowning it in Jarate after it beats you on the 1960's Online Chess[/I]

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/c/c3/Dictator.png/250px-Dictator.png?t=20131221151409[/IMG]
[I]Settle down for a cold stalemate on 2fort with this handy handlebar[/I]

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/3/37/Trail-Blazer.png/250px-Trail-Blazer.png?t=20131221142436[/IMG]
[I]On his deathbed after reaching MVP, Spy uttered his last words. 'Bourgeon Rose...', The name of his childhood sled. That or something about how Pyro's are overpowered.[/I]

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/b/ba/Dogfighter.png/250px-Dogfighter.png?t=20131222174505[/IMG]
[I]Perfect for going into the Danger zone and sentry jumping where no other Engies dare.[/I]

[TheJukebox]

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/8/8c/Backpack_Raven%27s_Visage.png/90px-Backpack_Raven%27s_Visage.png?t=20131029224239[/IMG]
Quoth the raven, "Burn some more"

[CapitalismHo!]

-snip i dont read instructions nosirreebob-

[dolphin]

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/9/9e/Backpack_Sole_Mate.png/90px-Backpack_Sole_Mate.png?t=20140207191917[/IMG]
Pyro met this fish during a forced visit in a putrid swamp. A sticky friendship was born.
-Noors

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/4/40/Backpack_Killer%27s_Kit.png/90px-Backpack_Killer%27s_Kit.png?t=20140207184938[/IMG]
You can never have too many pockets.
-SedimentarySocks

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/1/11/Backpack_Antarctic_Researcher.png/90px-Backpack_Antarctic_Researcher.png?t=20140207192931[/IMG]
You're a thousand miles from nowhere, man, and it's gonna get a hell of a lot worse before it gets any better. Better dress accordingly.
-Voidskull

[StormBlink]

Glad to see this back, I was afraid I killed it.

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/d/d5/Teutonic_Toque.png/250px-Teutonic_Toque.png?t=20140210220829[/IMG]

[I]Tonight's Special is One Ubercharge, Freshly popped and ready to send you running before Dessert.[/I]

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/3/3b/Mustachioed_Mann.png/250px-Mustachioed_Mann.png?t=20140210220824[/IMG]

[I]Perfect for serving up some 'French Whine' when you get your hands on that Spy[/I]

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/0/01/Dough_Puncher.png/250px-Dough_Puncher.png?t=20140210220808[/IMG]

[I]The difference between Mad scientist and Professional chef is not what kind of meat you got, But what you are wearing when dealing with said meat.[/I]

[[Square]]

These are some of the descs i thought of for some of my items. Some are notably better than others.

[t]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/1/13/Sub_Zero_Suit.png/250px-Sub_Zero_Suit.png?t=20131221142437[/t]
Sure, piles of burning corpses are a good source of heat, but are they this snuggly? I think not.

[t]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/6/65/RED_Blizzard_Breather.png[/t]
Your face may get a bit sweaty under all these layers, but it's that or frostbite, so get used to it.

[t]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/9/9b/Face_Full_of_Festive.png/250px-Face_Full_of_Festive.png?t=20131222174503[/t]
Smissmas comes but once a year, so put some festive lights in your beard! then spend the remaining 364 days trying to untangle them.

[t]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/7/7b/Law.png/250px-Law.png?t=20140213163600[/t]
You fought the law and the law won.

[t]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/4/49/RED_Sangu_Sleeves.png/484px-RED_Sangu_Sleeves.png?t=20140210024054[/t]
There is no finer luxury than wiping your booze soaked face on an ancient samurai sleeve

[t]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/f/f5/Bushi-Dou.png[/t]
The Way of the Warrior, Pfft.. I Bushi-DO what I want.

[t]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/a/ab/Bullet_Buzz.png/800px-Bullet_Buzz.png?t=20140210010902[/t]
They say somewhere in the world there is a bullet with your name on it. Where's yours? well, its right here behind my ear.

[t]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/f/f6/Heavy_Lifter.png/250px-Heavy_Lifter.png?t=20140210010908[/t]
Tickets to the gunshow? HA! I AM The Gun show!

[t]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/f/fc/Gone_Commando.png/603px-Gone_Commando.png?t=20140210010905[/t]
These top of the range camouflage pants are so effective, all the enemy will be able to see is your floating torso.

[Fancy Raptor]

[t]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/1/11/Pop-eyes.png/250px-Pop-eyes.png?t=20131012132145[/t]

For when your eyes just aren't sore enough

[StormBlink]

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/9/91/Deep_Cover_Operator.png/250px-Deep_Cover_Operator.png?t=20140210231542[/IMG]

[I]Tame the wild mess of a mane you have with this sweaty warm tie you stole from your boss at work, while repressing the urge to talk about titanium cogs as you sneak around the office.[/I]

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/9/9e/Eliminators_Safeguard.png/250px-Eliminators_Safeguard.png?t=20140210035202[/IMG]

[I]Relive the Glorious stories of the art of Teamwork and Fortresses with this Iron mask that never does cover your face.[/I]

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/6/61/Combat_Slacks.png/250px-Combat_Slacks.png?t=20140210054146[/IMG]

[I]Bringing back the pain from those Classic yesteryears of killing[/I]

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/4/40/War_Goggles.png/250px-War_Goggles.png?t=20140210034506[/IMG]

[I] From an era where these would be called: Totally Freaking Cool [/I]
Alt. [I]You may not be the pizza man that once wore these goggles, but atleast you can shoot more men then him[/I]

[dolphin]

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/f/f8/Item_icon_Scout_Shako.png/75px-Item_icon_Scout_Shako.png?t=20131221170623[/IMG]
Too refined? For a man like me? Impossible!
-Void?

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/5/53/Item_icon_Five-Month_Shadow.png/75px-Item_icon_Five-Month_Shadow.png?t=20131221175651[/IMG]
The perfect beard for drinking Jack Daniels with a friend in the snow, while your Antartic outpost burns to the ground.
-E-Arkham

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/d/d2/Item_icon_Mann_of_Reason.png/75px-Item_icon_Mann_of_Reason.png?t=20131221175314[/IMG]
When the big guy's right-hand man comes 'round, you better be well-behaved - or else.
-Void?

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/e/e2/Item_icon_Ruffled_Ruprecht.png/75px-Item_icon_Ruffled_Ruprecht.png?t=20131221175314[/IMG]
It's rough work keeping track of who's naughty and who's okay enough to get a present from the big guy, you should at least look the part.
-Void

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/8/8f/Item_icon_Chucklenuts.png/75px-Item_icon_Chucklenuts.png?t=20131221170620[/IMG]
Meet one of 'da toughest squirrels to ever grace boston commons park.
-Psyke

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/6/67/Item_icon_Minnesota_Slick.png/75px-Item_icon_Minnesota_Slick.png?t=20131221174803[/IMG]
Cold outside? Yah. Slick sense of style? You betcha. You should wear a hat outside so you don't die of hypothermia? The heck do ya mean?
-Void

[StormBlink]

Dolphin are you... Quoting lines that are on the Workshop pages on these?

[editline]19th March 2014[/editline]

Not Mad, Just wondering why you are quoting other people with the Descriptions.

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/a/a3/Leftover_Trap.png/250px-Leftover_Trap.png?t=20140210010923[/IMG]

[I]This Scritchy rats nest of a beard could be shaven off, but money is better spent on hats and sandvitches then on disposable razors.[/I]

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/2/2b/Trash_Man.png/250px-Trash_Man.png?t=20140210033936[/IMG]

[I]Uh Oh, It is Garbage Day[/I]

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/0/0d/Rat_Stompers.png/250px-Rat_Stompers.png?t=20140210010911[/IMG]

[I]Made from Genuine Rats[/I]

[dolphin]

[QUOTE=StormBlink;44292926]Dolphin are you... Quoting lines that are on the Workshop pages on these?

[editline]19th March 2014[/editline]

Not Mad, Just wondering why you are quoting other people with the Descriptions.

[/QUOTE]

Yep.

I feel some of these are good enough to put as descriptions and aren't being shared nor were implemented, so I put em here and credit them.

Keeps the thread moving and is related content.

If anyone has a legitimate problem with this I can stop.

[editline]19th March 2014[/editline]

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/a/a2/Item_icon_Hidden_Dragon.png/100px-Item_icon_Hidden_Dragon.png?t=20131030143525[/IMG]
It's common knowledge that if you can't see your enemy, they can't see you.
-Voidskull

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/c/c2/Item_icon_Faux_Manchu.png/100px-Item_icon_Faux_Manchu.png?t=20131030141401[/IMG]
Running late for the Halloween party and you just can't grow your own facial hair for your costume? Stop at the local barbershop with some super glue and steal the clippings in the corner! What're they gonna do with that hair? Eat it? Not on your watch!
-Voidskull
[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/2/29/Item_icon_Shaolin_Sash.png/100px-Item_icon_Shaolin_Sash.png?t=20131030144240[/IMG]
Need an authentic sash for your costume? You can always stop by your local temple and enlist in your favorite discipline! And if they don't let you in due to your severe lack of knowledge about anything, fight them! That'll teach 'em!
-Voidskull

[StormBlink]

Nah, It is fine. Would be boring if I continued to pour out names by myself.

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/3/3e/Sole_Saviors.png/250px-Sole_Saviors.png?t=20140210002443[/IMG]

[I]These boots were made for Walking, And that is pretty much all they can do.[/I]

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/9/97/Fashionable_Megalomaniac.png/250px-Fashionable_Megalomaniac.png?t=20140210220810[/IMG]

[I]Better to be Fashionably Evil then Fashionably Late[/I]
Alt. [I]The Authentic choice for Mad Scientists since 1921[/I]

[dolphin]

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/b/bb/Backpack_Hero%27s_Hachimaki.png/90px-Backpack_Hero%27s_Hachimaki.png?t=20110425004327[/IMG]
A true hero doesn't need eyes to shoot. Hitting the target on the other hand...
-Red_RyoKa

[IMG]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/8/87/Backpack_Ein.png/90px-Backpack_Ein.png?t=20140207185258[/IMG]
When you need to build a nest, you should always ask for professional advice.
-MrScruffington