The Facepunch Dream Update Thread V2

[Keychain]

why do people want weapons to be paintable it can only end in disaster

[Bat-shit]

Make promotional items untradable.

[editline]22nd January 2011[/editline]

[QUOTE=Keychain;27588707]why do people want weapons to be paintable it can only end in disaster[/QUOTE]

Some sort of blood splatter paint would fit my original Bat very nicely

[Political Gamer]

-Removed every update since launch
-Removed every item, weapon, and hat since launch
-Refunded everyone who bought key, hats, weapons, and other items
-Due to the massive amounts of refunding Valve will be shut down due to bankruptcy. This will include the discontinuing of all Steam services, support for Valve games, and any Valve related enterprises.

:downs:

Edit: [url=http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1039794-The-quot-Valve-have-haven-t-ruined-the-game-quot-thread?p=26938724&viewfull=1#post26938724]As far fetched as it sounds its possible![/url]

[JaxJesse315]

[QUOTE=Bat-shit;27588756]
Some sort of blood splatter paint would fit my original Bat very nicely[/QUOTE]

by the looks of your name, you'd paint it brown.

[MechaBowser]

Engine
- CBaseHudChat::SetCustomColor is now exposed via a usermessage. This allows modifications to print any colour in chat.
- Clients now have vgui_load and vgui_unload for loading custom vgui elements. These have the SERVER_CAN_EXECUTE flag.

Team Fortress 2
- Removed the attachment policy. This should fix frequent crashes on servers using the third-party workaround.
- Weapon entities now has a ModelIndexOverride net property, allowing for custom viewmodels.
- The player entity's SetCustomModel input no longer intentionally strips the model for animations
- Added a SetCustomAnimation to player entities
- Increased game performance
- Changed the Fist of Steel's stats to those of Advanced Weaponiser
- Added the Sniper Boomerang, the Blizzard Builder, the Heart Opener, and other weapons from Advanced Weaponiser.
- Added a client-side option to toggle particle effects on hats

one can only dream :p

[Anta]

Oh I forgot something that would go along with the updates I mentioned above.

-Added an option in multiplayer to enable/disable paints on the hats of your choice.

I fucking hate paints except Team Spirit.

[Rob3k]

-Added a stat to the Dead Ringer
+Flame Retardant while active until the defense boost is unactive.

[HWGull]

[QUOTE=Anta;27591544]
-Added an option in multiplayer to enable/disable paints on the hats of your choice.
[/QUOTE]

-dxlevel 80

-Removed Vintage value from all items
-Deleted the crates/keys system, made Unusual Hats droppable and actually rare (very low chance of drop)
-Removed particle effects from Unusual Hats
-Removed paint colors not matching the game's general color palette (Lime, Pink etc.)
-Made Gold paint shine in a similar fashion like Golden Wrench
-Made all promo items untradable
-Removed all hats not matching the game's art style (Sober Stuntsman, Dapper Topper etc.)
-Removed the Huntsman weapon from the game
-Fixed Iron Curtain view model to be as big as Minigun/Natasha
-Improved the stats of Loch'n Load
-Improved the Medieval mode to have custom medieval playermodels and weapons
-Added 3 new medieval maps
-Killed Alien Swarm Parasite with napalm fire after giving it the title of the worst visual abomination the game's ever seen

[iRunner]

- Removed sandvich's cooldown

[Ian]

My dream update would have to be something set up like this:

Revert back to pre-engie update, anticipation and love for Valve all up in this motherfucker. Golden Wrenches released on schedule, all is well...

99th wrench found, and the Engineer Update page stands still. 1 hour goes by and nothing. Suddenly, the Engineer Update page transforms, the blueprints scorched, the wall shot up, an axe in the sign. At the bottom: "Meet the Pyro (Click for fire)"

Next day, 100th wrench is found, and the final additions include:
-Added Trading (8 slots like now, except all promo items are non-tradeable.)
-Added all Engineer Update items, along with 1 new pyro weapon; The Dragonsmasher.
Dragonsmasher stats: +75% Damage, +50% Damage against burning opponents, No crits, -25% Move speed while in use, and 10 health lost per swing
Dragonsmasher's look: A long decorative staff with a Chinese dragon's head on the end of it, the mouth is stuffed with oily rags and fireworks.

A few months pass, people are loving Valve as always, then...

The Community Update
-Added (all the items from Fancy/Nasty, 8 new polycount packs, 30 new hats, 25 new Valve-made weapons, Expert's Ordnance, War Reparations, Medieval mode, Medieval Medic, that one polycount pack for medic with the Freakazoid hair, 5 new medieval maps with CP_Degroot)
-Gave balanced stats for all of the weapons
-Added a feedback system for stats that can be accessed at the bottom in the button row thing, every 2 weeks the feedback system is checked for similarities and the most similar things among feedback posters will be added and tested in the beta.
-Bots now work on CTF and TC.

Australian Christmas update
-All players who play in the time that this update is going on will receive a hat drop.
-Drops are x3 throughout the update (total items in a week would be like 30)
-Added Robin's Playhouse, a Christmas themed map with a twist

Robin's Playhouse includes: Old Nick bossfight, a mysterious double chance of getting hat drops when more than 15 players are on the server, a painting of the one and only Robin Walker in TF2 fashion, a prize for killing Old Nick; Nick's Festive Flying Deer - his reindeer skull.

All items in previous updates are added to the Mann Co. Store *Revised!*
-Players will be able to buy items and hats (with the exclusion of promo items and achievement hats) with a new system called Manncoins
-Manncoins are earned throughout gameplay, increasing with each kill and hour of playtime you get with a class. The equation would be something like: Every hour of a certain class gameplay times the number of kills with said class equals how many Manncoins you will earn when you get when you get to the next drop cap. At the drop cap, you will be given your "paycheck" for the week, which you will be able to cash in at the Mann Co. store, after cashing in your paycheck, the manncoins will be added into your Mann Co. store account (You don't have to make one, it's just your steam account in TF2) for use on items.

[IceStormV1]

- Added a client-side option to toggle particle effects on hats

Really, most everything else posted here would be nice and all, but this is all I want.

[Wowza!]

-Added Source Filmmaker
-Added new demo format
[URL]http://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Unreleased_content#New_demo_format[/URL]
[QUOTE=Ian;27592984]

All items in previous updates are added to the Mann Co. Store *Revised!*
-Players will be able to buy items and hats (with the exclusion of promo items and achievement hats) with a new system called Manncoins
-Manncoins are earned throughout gameplay, increasing with each kill and hour of playtime you get with a class. The equation would be something like: Every hour of a certain class gameplay times the number of kills with said class equals how many Manncoins you will earn when you get when you get to the next drop cap. At the drop cap, you will be given your "paycheck" for the week, which you will be able to cash in at the Mann Co. store, after cashing in your paycheck, the manncoins will be added into your Mann Co. store account (You don't have to make one, it's just your steam account in TF2) for use on items.[/QUOTE]
Cue hundreds of kill farming servers.

[Anta]

[QUOTE=HWGull;27592379]-dxlevel 80[/QUOTE]

I want this feature for dx9

TF2 looks terrible on DX8.

[Ian]

[QUOTE=Wowza!;27593175]Cue hundreds of kill farming servers.[/QUOTE]

Meh, it's what TF2 is, but remember the halocaust?

[ned_ballad]

- Added Loch-N-Load view model reload animation

- Added a unique projectile to the following weapons
* Loch-N-Load
* Sticky Jumper
* Rocket Jumper
* Blutsauger
* Crusador's Crossbow

- Added community sound effects to the following items
* Lugermorph
* Big Kill
* Candy Cane
* Rocket Jumper
* Battalion's Backup
* Iron Curtain
* Loch-n-Load
* Scottish Resistance
* Sticky Jumper
* Pain Train
* Ullapool Caber
* Fists of Steel
* Frontier Justice
* Blutsauger
* Crussador's Crossbow
* Kritzkreig

- Added a new beam effect to the Kritzkreig
- Added team colored health particle trail to Black Box rockets
- Added team colored explosions for critical hits

Amputator Changes
* Added new taunt sounds
* Added new particle effects to differentiate between Battalion's Backup and Amputator. 
* Added HUD indicator (musical note next to health) to indicate the player is being healed

Battalion's Backup changes
* View model sparkles with a new team colored glow when buffed
* Added 2 new team specific horn noises
* Fixed minor clipping on view model when view was set to max

Rocket Jumper changes
* Removed penalties
* New ability "-10% fall damage taken"
* Added new, unique, community made model, projectile and sounds
* Added to drop system and given a crafting recipe

Sticky Jumper Changes
* Penalty changed to "-50% Grenade Launcher Ammo"
* Given a new, unique, community made model and sound
* Updated bombs to use a "spikeless" sticky bomb previously unused
* Has been added to drop system and given a crafting recipe

- Added new taunt kill to Ullapool Caber. This animation was a testing animation for a bottle tauntkill that was never used. It has been applied to the caber
- Added Horsemann's "boo" animation as a taunt for the Headtaker (has no stun effect)
- Added new generic melee taunt for all other Demoman melee weapons (same taunt used by all)
- Added kill icon to Ubersaw taunt kill
- Added a white overlay on the player's screen when Mad Milk is applied
- Mad Milk now washes off when touching the resupply cabinet

Dalokah's Bar changes
* Added new particle effect
* Removed various lines assosiated with Sandvich, and replaced with general taunt voice responses, or some that were fit to generic food, like "That was delicious!"
* Made throwable, giving it a unique plate model in the process
* Added health now stacks with overheal
* Shortened cooldown 20%

- Fixed Demoman's Glasses clipping with some of his hats
- Fixed Spy's masquerade mask clipping with some of his hats
- Updated Blighted Beak with new version that does not clip with everything

- The following hats have been made paintable
* Earbuds
* Stainless Pot
* Scotch Bonnet
* Chieftain's Challenge
* Prancer's Pride
* Stockbroker's Scarf
* Cadaver's Cranium
* Big Chief
* Mongolian
* Mining Light
* Hotrod
* Medic's Mirror
* Ze Goggles
* Berliner's Bucket Helm
* Blighted Beak
* Panama
* Larrikin Robin
* Le Party Phantom
* Modest Pile
* Noble Amassment
* Towering Pillar
* A Festive Tree
* Traveler's Hat
* Polycount Pin
* Service Medal

- Added LODS to all primary weapons that were missing them

- Added new advanced multiplayer option "Disable Cosmetic Items." This option removes hats from player models, and restores the names of all renamed items. This option only effect the player's view, and has no effect on their backpack or what others see the player wearing.

- Lumbricus Lid has been seperated from the Hand Grenades, now named Weapons of Epitoch. This misc item has been given to every player who owns a lumbricus lid (one misc item per LL in backpack)

- Added team colored shades of yellow to various items that were missing them (Scottish Resistance, Charge n Targe, etc)

- Added team colored shades to the following paints 
* Australium Gold 
* Color of Slate
* Deep Salmon
* Pink as Hell

- Color of Slate renamed to "Color of Slate and Bricks"
- Deep Salmon renamed to "A mixture of Sea and Salmon"
- Pink as Hell renamed to "Pink as Hell with a Splash of Teal"

- Added new hat descriptions to all hats that were missing them
- Updated Charge n Targe's backpack icon
- Added team colored darts to Sydney Sleeper
- Darts now sit in the wall if they miss, like the Needlegun
- Added team colors to the Razorback

- Added new recipe "Craft Crates." 3 Crates = 1 Scrap
- Added team colors to the Scotch Bonnet
- Added team colors to the Fists of Steel

- The Jag now functions as intended
- Improved Iron Curtain's kill icon
- Improved Candy Cane's textures
- Fixed broken jigglebones on various items
- Added jigglebones to Stockbroker's Scarf

- Added domination lines for Medic
- Added domination lines for Heavy
- Added domination lines for Pyro

- Jarate can now be used in Medieval Mode

- Improved Scottish Resistance view model
- Added team colors to License to Maim

- Added "A Profressional With Standards" music to menu rotation
- Fixed menu backgrounds not rotating correctly

I didn't even ask for anything ridiculous either :/

[Jorori]

Mostly this:

Updates to Team Fortress 2 have been released. 
The updates will be applied automatically when your Steam client is restarted. 
The major changes include:

General
- Added a menu option to hide the MannCo store link
- Added some game optimisations and LODs to some models
- Updated the Loch-&-Load
   - Added new animations
   - Fixed reloading animations displaying incorrectly
   - Changed damage done from 10% to 25%
   - Fixed a bug that caused some surface-hitting grenades to dissapear instead of exploding
   - Increased firing speed by 50%
   - Clip size changed from 60% to 50%
- Added new 4-chambered model for the Grenade Launcher 
- Updated the Crusader's Crossbow
   - Added new bolt model
   - Fixed the crossbow bolt animation displaying as the Huntsman one
   - Added new sounds in order to ease recognition of the bolts. Friendly and enemy bolts also play slightly different sounds
- Updated the Amputator
   - Added a +15% Melee attack vulnerability
- Updated the Sydney Sleeper
   - Re-added the penetration feature, but limited into penetrating a maximum of 3 targets
      - Darts cannot penetrate buildings
   - Re-added the random critical hits feature
      - Headshots are still not possible
   - Decreased damage done by 20%
-Updated the Jag
   - Increased building upgrade/repair speed
      - Applies 50 metal per hit instead of 25
- Telefrag victims produce gibs instead of standard ragdolls
- Fixed Medics being able to heal Soldiers with the Equalizer equipped when using the Crusader's Crossbow or the Amputator
- Updated the trading system
   - Vintage value dissapears when an item is traded
- Updated multiple weapon and hat models to fix clipping issues
- Added crafting recipe for smelting crates into metal
- Added Vanilla gamemode. Servers can configurate this gamemode in normal gameplay using the console command "sv_vanilla" (Set on "sv_vanilla 0" by default)
   -"sv_vanilla 1" makes all cosmetic items and particles disappear
   -"sv_vanilla 2" restricts the loadout to the default weapons
   -"sv_vanilla 3" applies both changes

And on a fun note:

- Increased the fun of the game
- Optimised the game beyond the impossible. Now it can run on a Commodore 64 with highest settings
- Added the Civilian class
- Updated the TF2 Team
   - Fixed Valve listening only to SPUF
   - Fixed Robin's obsession for hats
   - Increased the level of effort
- Updated the community
   - Decreased the whine levels by 50%
- Fixed a server exploit that increased the possibility of 12 y/o using the microphone

- Reverted all game updates to the first version of Quake Team Fortress :v:

[Ponzy]

[QUOTE=Jorori;27594003]Mostly this:
- Added a menu option to hide the MannCo store link
- Added some game optimisations and LODs to some models
- Updated the Loch-&-Load
- Added new animations
- Updated the trading system
- Vintage value dissapears when an item is traded
- Added crafting recipe for smelting crates into metal
- Added Vanilla gamemode. Servers can configurate this gamemode in normal gameplay using the console command "sv_vanilla" (Set on "sv_vanilla 0" by default)
-"sv_vanilla 1" makes all cosmetic items and particles disappear
-"sv_vanilla 2" restricts the loadout to the default weapons
-"sv_vanilla 3" applies both changes
- Fixed a server exploit that increased the possibility of 12 y/o using the microphone

[/QUOTE]

Oh my god yes, PLEASE VALVE DO DIS

[editline]22nd January 2011[/editline]

[QUOTE=Ian;27592984]
All items in previous updates are added to the Mann Co. Store *Revised!*
-Players will be able to buy items and hats (with the exclusion of promo items and achievement hats) with a new system called Manncoins
-Manncoins are earned throughout gameplay, increasing with each kill and hour of playtime you get with a class. The equation would be something like:
Every hour of a certain class gameplay times the number of kills with said class equals how many Manncoins you will earn when you get when you get to the next drop cap. At the drop cap, you will be given your "paycheck" for the week, which you will be able to cash in at the Mann Co. store, after cashing in your paycheck, the manncoins will be added into your Mann Co. store account (You don't have to make one, it's just your steam account in TF2) for use on items.[/QUOTE]

And this.

[Keychain]

Would be nice if Valve gave the Rocket Jumper and Sticky Launcher a unique skin. Nothing too big, just a way to tell them apart. Also give the Sticky Jumper one of the unused sticky models, specifically the sphere one with no spikes.

[Cajun]

-Sydney Sleeper
Returned piercing
Has random crits again

:smith:

[A B.A. Survivor]

[QUOTE=Keychain;27599378]Would be nice if Valve gave the Rocket Jumper and Sticky Launcher a unique skin. Nothing too big, just a way to tell them apart. Also give the Sticky Jumper one of the unused sticky models, specifically the sphere one with no spikes.[/QUOTE]
Someone made skins for them, but nothing really came of it.
And the stickies would be pure orange instead of no spikes.

[CurZd]

-Fixed an exploit allowing players to kill one another.

-Removed Control Point, King of the Hill, Capture the Flag, Attack/Defend, Territorial Control, and Medieval Game modes

-Added new Trading game mode
-Players can now experience Trade Fortress 2 without any distractions
-Added community maps: trade_plaza, trade_pool