Alyx cries for half an hour, then to comfort her, Gordon offers to have sex with her. She accepts, and then... [B]ALYX HAS A PENIS AND A VAGINA[/B]. Gordon gets shocked in such a way, that it cripples him. He shortly comes out of shock, and Alyx asks him if he's okay. You then have 1 second to dodge her crotch, or she will ram her cock down your throat.
If you happen to dodge her, you rip her dick off and she dies of AIDS.
Then the AIDS becomes larger, and eats you, and you die of AIDS.
The end.
Gordan n Alex go 2 de ship, see mosssman get chewed up by a barnicle, on de way in she farts, therefor blowing up de ship thus killing gordan n Alex.
[b]H λ L F - L I F E 3[/b]
Intro
G-Man to A. Sheppard
"So, we meet again Mister Sheppard, you did a good job on these good times! I see Doctor Freeman is not in my hands, and his status is like an empereor in Rome, and i don't think if a good help like you did back in Black Mesa would be bad... Go to the right ways, Mr. Sheppard, go to the right ways like before...and help Freeman."
..
Hl3 intro? Ok here my Half-Life 2 Ep3 idea.
[b]H λ L F - L I F E 2[/b]
- EPISODE THREE -
Gordon Freeman wakes up in a prison like, and when the prison guard is watching, a explosion could be heard and rebels attack. Barney appears and disables the fence, then you can see you're in the Kraken Base (Mossman was here in the video of Ep2, chapter "Our mutual friend") and Barney says to you Alyx is taken by the combine advisors, you go through the Kraken Base, and find these advisors leaving with Alyx, she says "Gordon!" lol. Barney gives you a car like the car with minigun from Halo 3.
You go through the way and got catched again by the combine. Of course you stop them, go through in a combine base, fighting soldiers, also possibly the combine assasin! and find Alyx on a room with advisors :O
Then DOG appears and stop these Advisors but gets pwned by one, When it tries to "leak Alyx's memory"? you kill him, and save Alyx (kiss?), Barney comes again with rebels and you should follow them, DOG wakes up and helps Gordon and his friends go to a way to a base. But when they come, Barney says "Sorry, Gordon" and rebels with weird suits aims to Alyx and Gordon, and they make a shortcircuit to DOG. In a few words, Barney is a traitor lol. One knocks you and alyx and then you wake up in another combine base, trapped in a pod. You meet Dr Breen and talks about the Borealis to you, he says thanks to Alyx's father to helping discovering that ship, and they want to experiment if the ship works, so you do get teleported accidentaly to the combine overworld. You go through this planet, fight unknown monsters and get into the universal combine base! Fight the advisors and you destroy the core. This makes you got teleported back to borealis and doing the effect to the ship, so you, Alyx and Barney gets out from the ship, but you accidentally got teleported in a unknown place and the game ends! Worst storyline ever!
Lil' explanations:
-About the empereor in Rome, It's cos Rome was so big and couldn't be controlled in hands of one guy.
-Look up there, HL3 could be set still in the HL2 saga, because, why another alien invasion? That's boring a lot.
-LOL my avatar now looks sexy right? Lol :D jk it's my spray for Gmod so it's my spray sexy? Think no or die
-Why the hell when i do post the thread goes like closed? lol
While flying to Alaska, Combine radars reveal your position, and a fleet of attack helicopters are sent to destroy your helicopter. After crash-landing in the middle of a snowy wasteland, you regain concsciousness and look around for Alyx. Suddenly, a Combine soldier bashes you in the back of the head with an AR2, knocking you out. You're transported to a nearby Combine base, along with Alyx.
This is just part of the storyline.
Or:
Gordon is in a trench battle in a massive firefight between Combine and Rebel. With superior number, the Rebels begin winning, until the Combine officer there calls for reinforcements in the form of 4 Striders.
Just then, a Barnacle appears and eats the Striders. It then transforms into some kind of Transformer, and kills every Combine there. It teleports to the new Combine central headquarters for Earth. It kills every Combine, including all Advisors, then teleports to every nation in the world and kills the Combine, then it teleports to the Combine homeworld and destroys it, then the game ends.
The game starts like ep2 did in a slide-show of videos
The game fades in from black with alyx crying. Suddenly several combine headcrab canister things shoot through the ceiling (enter the volumetric light from ceiling holes) And alyx is like "AGH OH CRAP!", and she yells "We gotta get out of here! and you, alyx, and dog run and get in the helicopter, Alyx, having flight experience, flies the helicopter. Fade in black. Fade back in: BLAM DHSHAGCHDARGERRDGEED You're hit by a Combine SALT "Surface to air laser thing" And you spin like hell. You fall out, dog breaks the back of the helicopter open grabs you, and a combine gunship is already behind you guys after the heli stops spinning. Dog slips off, alyx screams "DOG!" And here's where my daydreaming comes in handy. Oh i forgot [b] YOU START THE GAME WITH A CROWBAR ONLY [/b] Dog grabs the 'nose' of the gunship and lets out a whirr of triumph. Suddenly dog starts shaking you and throws you on board. The top is slippery and the camera forces you to look at dog, dog points at the 'fan' and the camera looks at it. The objective is to jam it! You carefully walk over to it, and hit it with the crowbar, and it jams (you lose the crowbar). The gunship shakes and you almost slip off, and you run to dog and jump. The gunship starts shooting, because of the possible blind luck of hitting dog. The gunship spins slowly and lets out loong moans.Cinematic camera takeover: The camera looks in front and sees a strider barely turning to see you. BLAM CRASH BAAAGH. You wake up with a crashed helicopter, obviously blown up by the strider, an exploded strider, dog, alyx under some rubble, and your trusty crowbar wedged in the ice next to you. Dog makes weird noises and slams the ground. He slams and slams. Eventually a crack in the ice appears, and goes toward a barely visible combine outpost. But it looks like a combine bunker with a SMALL SMALL citadel tower with those metrocop outopsts that have a white 'tarp' over it that you see in the route canal chapter. Dog smashes through some rubble and grabs alyx, K-Oed. He grabs you and alyx and charges toward the outpost, SLAMMING THE WALL and crushing some combine. You pick up a pistol, 357, and a smg1. Dog urges you to go one way while he goes the other, to ensure no backup. An alarm starts and you walk up a spiral staircase. There are many doors and openings to the outpost with tarp things. Several are control rooms. but no one is home. Suddenly there's a horrifying scream from a rebel, making the player wanna rush up. A rebel corpse is seen stabbed with a random sharp metal block from an explosion. You hear raspy breathing and shadows moving around you in the dark room. Suddenly a stalker scream echoes and stabs the player, Only to be shot in the head by a Combine female assassin.
The assassin cartwheels toward the player and stands over him/her. She grabs her gun, aims it at the player carefully, suddenly karate kicked in the head by alyx. The player looks. The Combine assassin jabs alyx in the stomach and kicks her chin up with her kneecap. Alyx takes a few steps back, and grabs her gun. She flips over the assassin, grabs her, slams her head against the metallic wall, and BLAMBLAMBLAM, shoots the assassin's head. If atleast 1 other facepuncher requests, i'll continue this block of text.
Here's an Idea, I've been playing with after reading some of these. (some retarded, some ok, some good)
Half Life 2: Episode 3
First mission: Fatal Consequences
Just as the Advisor kills Eli Vance, Gordon and Alyx (in Cinematic) run to Eli's side, with Alyx Grieving. (playing as character) Gordon takes control of a ancient 30 caliber turret, rips it off the base, and fires it, destroying the Advisor. Alyx, Still depressed over her fathers death, stays behind in the White forest with the Rebels, to secure her fathers remains. Gordon, 3 rebel soldiers, and Lieutenant Grubble (new Character, met in EP3) Board the helicoper, and fly away from the white forest.
"Conair 137"
Keeping minimal contact with rebel ground forces, the chopper flies on its journey to the Borealis. The combine, though forces have dwindled, have traced Gordon Freeman, and still give chase, in 2 hunter-choppers. After an epic Sky battle, completely destroying the 2 hunter choppers, the Heli, is damaged beyond manuverability, and crashes into a desolate forest, many miles away. Gordon Freeman, and Lieutenant Grubble are the only ones to survive the crash impact.
"Satans Truckstop"
The pair makes their way to an abandoned truckstop, along Highway 21. The large warehouse/gas station/hotel like building, is infested with headcrabs, and zombies alike. Gordon must fight his way through hordes of zombies, to reach a generator in the basement. Here, Gordon finds stockpiles of supplies, and weapons, and piles up. He must then fight his way back through the building, to a large garage, where Lieutenant Grubble, has successfully managed to repair, and fire up a Big Mack truck. As they make their escape, the combine, aware of their position, begins to mortar the truck stop, completely destroying everything in site. This also causes a major failure to a dam in a river canyon, which will fail and cause a bridge over Highway 21 to collapse. Grubble and freeman make their way up this canyon, to find the dam, in a critical condition. Like the reactor from EP1, Gordon must stabilise the turbines in the dam, to regulate waterflow, while fighting small regiments of Combine, and Zombies, through-out the damn.
"Highway To Hell"
Gordon, and Grubble just manage to control the dam, but only for so long. They make it back to their truck, and begin to move, just as the dam fails, and collapses, completely destroying the Bridge behind the truck. Gordon and Grubble drive this truck, which is connected to an old tanker trailer(Yes, corny Mad Max The Road Warrior Reference) to a long since destroyed, and decrepit city, known as City 49. Here, Grubble and Gordon encounter a new type of Xen creature, that manages to completely Incapacitate the truck, but not before driving the rig right into an old Fuel depot. In this, a Tentical, smashes through the windshield, grabbing Grubble, and killing him, before digesting his remains. This causes the depot to explode, while the creature, unable to multiply, dies in the firey remains of the former fuel depot.
This is all I can think of for now.. I'll probably edit/revise it, add more later. Its not entirely finished, so bare with me.
[b]SUPA DUPA HL2: EPISODE 3 PLOT GUISE!!!!![/b]
Half-Life 2: Episode 3:
Gordon Freeman and Alyx Vance sit around with Dawg and cry about their emotional problems ([sp]ELI'S DEAD[/sp]) while the Combine Advisors flee like the fat sluggish beings they are. Once they're done cutting their wrists over the fact that [sp]ELI HAS PASSED AWAY YOU THICK FUCK[/sp] they decide to move on to more important problems like the fucking Combine army heading their way, but not really because they got their giant glowing portal blown up olololol. So they decide to take that helicopter out of White Forest with some other dudes, like Dawg, and they bring Barney along too because Christ knows he's all over the fucking place, but he doesn't bring beer so nevermind he can't come this time :(. So once you and Alyx get to the USSR in a lame helicopter sequence where you can't fucking fly it, you get shot down and land in Cossack country. So Jesus H. Christ you don't know what you're going to do, b/c Gordon Freeman has an MIT education but can't navigate through Cossack country. So you seek out Odessa Cubbage, because he must live in the USSR, and he gives you a rawket launcha because he's a useless fucking plot device that generically hands out roket lunches to people for no fucking reason. So you meet up with some rebels at a nearby outpost, and they say "u wnt 2 blw shat uppppp nigguhhhhhhh?" and you're a mute so you can't accept or deny, so they pick for you, you fucking twat. [sp]HOW'S THAT FOR FREE WILL IN A VIDEO GAME?[/sp] So you go on to trek through the Cossack country with the rebels, and HEY LOOK AT THAT THERE'S THE FUCKING BOREALIS. It just happened to reappear because the Combine actually got off their lazy asses and made space-time cease functioning because they can do that. So you get lucky ([sp]BUT NOT WITH ALYX, YOU DIRTY MAN[/sp]) and enter the giant hulky, rusting ship, and on the inside it's a fucking shiny, brand new, state-of-the-art facility where you meet Mossman somehow, who the fuck really cares because she dies in a few minutes anyways, as she's bleeding out, so you go and help her up GoW style and you fight off the Locu- Combine hordes, when suddenly an Advisor comes out from behind you and WHAM! POW! Right in Mossman's chest. She yells for a bit and then LOOK AT THAT, YOU FINALLY GET A REAL BOSS FIGHT, NOT SOME MEDIOCRE "FITE DAT CHOPPA" battle shit. So you beat up the Advisor, and he runs off crying like a little girl and Mossman with her dying words gives you an over-extended dialogue about how that Advisor was actually Breen in disguise, and then she gives you a +4 Stam +4 Strength Leather Belt to wear, and the whole fucking game turns into a JRPG. So you cast spiky hair shitstorm and kill some zambeez, and then you move on in the Borealis. Suddenly, Dawg comes out of nowhere and wants to tag along, but an Advisor duels him to the death, but Dog goes out like a true badass and self-destructs on the Advisor that was Breen, killing him and yelling "lol ya freken moron" like a true Scout. So Alyx has to cry a bit, and in true JRPG fashion she does some shitty "ogm kawaiiiiiiii" dance and then sings a bit, but you don't give a fuck because you're a fucking emotionless bastard. So you finally make it to the end of the stupidly endless deathtrap of Borealis and you don't find a fucking thing except a note saying "[sp]RO[/sp]CHELL[sp]E[/sp] WUZ HEER." AND THEN A FUCKING BOOMER COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND VOMITS ON YOU. And you make an angry face because he puked on you, so you shotgun him, but your shotgun alerts the hoard, so you have to fight off a bunch of fucking zambeez from 28 Days Later before the rescue choppa arrives. So you get in that fucking choppa with Alyx, and the pilot is none other than Cillian Murphy from 28 Days Later, so you fly off to the country-side where he shows you how to beat the Combine fo' reelz. With the new knowledge of how to beat the Combine, you hop into your battlemech (EVERY GAME NEEDS ONE, RIGHT FEAR 2?) and go on a rampage through the English countryside to where the City 17 used to be. Again, in true JRPG fashion, you use a Ouija Board to summon the dead goast of Eli Vance, and he tells you the secret of Portal ([sp]which is that there isn't a Portal 2[/sp]). So once you arrive at the Combine stronghold by magic, you magically get the aid of all of the human kind and creatures from Xen, and the Ninalinth is back too, [sp]because fucking Half-Life 1 was non-canon to Half-Life 2.[/sp] So you use your super advanced knowledge from Cillian Murphy to beat the main Combine baddies, and then G-Man comes in and stops time, and reveals that he's a Time Lord, and the last of his kind. So you hop into his TARDIS and meet Jack Harkness, but no one really cares because he cries a lot about how his boyfriend died doing something stupid. But you travel to the beginning of the Combine, on their homeworld called Combinarro ([sp]IT'S A PUN.[/sp]) and stop the Combine from ever being created, because you needed the stars to be aligned so you could go back in time because you couldn't do it originally. So you stop the Combine and the whole thing never happened, but before you go back to present-day you get to have a sex mini-game with Alyx, but you don't get to see it because that would be BAD and MY MUM WOULDN'T LIKE IT. So you go back to present-day where G-Man gives you a cool world of advice which is "Be excellent." and then you learn his name is really Keanu Reeves.
Now you see why HL2: Episode 3 is taking so long to make.
^
:psyboom:
Holy shit ^ also you forgot teh bomer is really gabe then gabe takes his mask of and is the spy then the spy takes the baclivia (lol bad spelling) and its raelly the medic:razz:
Look at that, you just made a fatty joke about Gabe. Now that awesome storyline gets delayed another two weeks. Great job.
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