So what I've extracted from this is that the next part should be shorter, better voice-acting, a little variation in the shots, a little more action, and actually pronouncing the name right?
The latter is actually already in the script The host is saying it wrong because he's a terrible documentary host, and he's corrected in part 2.
But still, let your opinions be heard! I'd like as much criticism as possible.
I loved it, but the voice acting needs a bit of touching up. Its still a great video, just needs a bit more improving.
Wow, that's a lot of talent and dedication they spent on something so boring.
[quote]jaffa cakes[/quote]
YOGSCAAAAST [IMG]http://filesmelt.com/dl/emot-argh2.gif[/IMG]
[editline]30th July 2011[/editline]
At 10:30 the smoke is going [I]into[/I] the torch and the scene starts going backwards.
Wat
[QUOTE=LCBADs;31439235]Wow, that's a lot of talent and dedication they spent on something so boring.[/QUOTE]
Yes, but WHY is it boring? This doesn't help.
[QUOTE=Skyward;31438593]I loved it, but the voice acting needs a bit of touching up. Its still a great video, just needs a bit more improving.[/QUOTE]
umm, the voice acting was perfect
[editline]31st July 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Barrel-Roll;31439577]Yes, but WHY is it boring? This doesn't help.[/QUOTE]
a lot of the scenes were very static
[QUOTE=Barrel-Roll;31439577]Yes, but WHY is it boring? This doesn't help.[/QUOTE]
Alright, let me explain by way of example:
In Marble Hornets, the Slender Man ARG series on Youtube, there are a lot of videos where nothing happens, and it's meant to be that way. The first video doesn't have Slender Man in it at all, but the point is: It's only 2 minutes long and it's the introduction.
This video is 10 minutes long and it is the same thing. It's the introduction video, and it's 10 minutes of explaining Herobrine, which you don't need to do. You don't need to have people say "yes I saw Herobrine let me go into a five minute explanation of exactly what I saw". It's in an interview-documentary style, I understand that, but that doesn't mean the entirety of the first video has to be explaining him with words. Just show him, and people will understand what he is.
In the first (chronologically second) Marble Hornets video, Entry 1, Slender Man is shown onscreen for literally 2.5 seconds, and instantly you can tell what he is by the character's reaction and his appearance alone. The part where Herobrine momentarily appears after they all go to bed basically could have held up the whole thing if you kept the documentary-type opening and closing of the video, with no need for the interview sections.
If something happened during the interviews, such as strange background occurrences, or maybe even a change of camera angle to someone responding, it wouldn't seem so static and boring. What you should do is watch through it and think: "Would I skip through this if I was just a person watching it? Is anything interesting going on besides the person talking?" If you find it boring, chances are everyone else will too.
I was wondering where I've heard of a video of someone referring Herobrine as him in there title so I looked on your videos and found it.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-obTEYBhuZk&list=UUK0STLOB6j0s[/media]
[I][B]The horror![/B][/I]
Either way that was a great video and as others have said some of the scenes feel... Static. Maybe put some people walking in the background. You know, things like that.
Also why did you guys record some scenes backwards?
I always thought it was pronounced as hero-brine and not hero-breen.
I expected flickering to interrupt interviews and reveal herboine, or scenes being creepy.
Hopefully part 2 will make me more eager to turn on all the lights in my room.
Part 2 is when everything happens.
That laughing in the end hurt my ears, but other than that, I like it!
[QUOTE=Yogkog;31443471]That laughing in the end hurt my ears, but other than that, I like it![/QUOTE]
Yes, that laughing was quite insane, wasn't it?
Also, when you're doing the interview parts, don't just make it videos of people standing there. You know how in real documentaries how they'll do some kind of slideshow or video while the person being interviewed is talking? It adds a lot more depth to the documentary.
Will do, friend!
I thought the style you were going for was Horror movie, so i figured that's why they talked so much and not so much herobrine? Am i wrong?
Amazing video! Can't wait for part two!
Guys, it's a detailed analysis, that's why it has lots of words in it. I really liked the video, and I think the voice-acting is actually good.
Be sure to include a "Blair witch, runny nose" style scene at one point.
Perhaps have one of the cameramen freak the hell out, only to find that nothings wrong and he just ate some mushrooms.
[QUOTE=thisguy123;31452104]Be sure to include a "Blair witch, runny nose" style scene at one point.
Perhaps have one of the cameramen freak the hell out, only to find that nothings wrong and he just ate some mushrooms.[/QUOTE]
DAMN IT! You ruined Part II! :wink:
Part I was the interviewing documentary type.
Part II was going to be Blair Witch styled.
It's pretty cool how you switched up the genre of your documentaries, the creeper country one was a comedy and this one is more horror themed.
Hey everyone, I am one of the voice actors for this machinima,
It might be handy that if you are going to say some of the voice acting could use improvement, state which character needed a better voice actor or just improvement. I know it's more easy just saying "The voice acting needs improvement." but it's easier for the director (and the voice actors as well) when you tell them who needs improvement and on what he needs to improve. (e.g. "Gordy's voice actor could use some improvement on his laugh, it just didn't have the "magical" touch, if you know what I mean")
now, as far as I have feedback:
the directing could use some more improvement, when Brad Bud Giventooth visits the "Century Hospital" the door has already been opened and Brad has already gone inside before the Crazed out doctor can say that Brad may enter. Also the torch thing in the park during the interview with Gordy is a result of not having enough footage and only 1 angle with which you end up reversing the video, which many people seemed to notice. luckilly enough, they didn't seem to care for the laugh that happened a little bit later than I though it would. woops... I guess you all know who wrote this now...
Meh, it's not a big deal, it's not like anyone out here in the hospital will believe you, They all think I'm crazy anyway, They wouldn't even know I have a computer hidden away in my room.
As a joke, when you mention Herobrine, change the way you pronounce it every time.
[QUOTE=Raptortheawesome;31458022]As a joke, when you mention Herobrine, change the way you pronounce it every time.[/QUOTE]
Hirro Bren
[img]http://cache.ohinternet.com/images/3/3c/Dolan_original.gif[/img]
[QUOTE=TheNuB;31441333]hero-breen[/QUOTE]
Since when was Breen a hero
[img]http://pnmedia.gamespy.com/screenshots/phl/90360568.jpg[/img]
I personally thought the voice acting was great. I can't wait for Part 2!
I thought this was a tribute to minecraft by HIM or just a song called herobrine now [sub]i feel silly for thinking that [sub]oops[/sub][/sub]
Part II is coming...
Can't wait!
Next time charge the camera batteries.
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