Mass Effect Megathread - This one doesn't have time for your solid waste excretions! - Games

[QUOTE=Generic.Monk;25787952]I wasn't talking about you, note how I quoted only the link.[/QUOTE] Aight [editline]1st November 2010[/editline] [QUOTE=mercurius;25788405]People like you are not the problem. It's the "omg she's so kawaii desu ^^ ~~~" people that get attracted as well.[/QUOTE] This is true. [editline]1st November 2010[/editline] [QUOTE=XanaToast.;25787940]sometimes i wish i get all these people, put them in the sack and beat it with a stick and see who got the worst of the beating [editline]1st November 2010[/editline] get in the fucking sack[/QUOTE] Only if I get to cuddle with Tali first :colbert: [editline]1st November 2010[/editline] [B] In shock at the eroticism of her self-cleaning, Shepard allowed himself to fall into her embrace. Coming back to reality, he held her close, intertwining his feet with hers. Basking in the afterglow, Tali casually informed him that she too had been looking into ways to expand their love life. Hugging her close to his body, reveling in the feeling of her wet, sticky feet on his, all Shepard could do was smile, and place a loving kiss on her fogged up helmet.[/B] [B] Dreamily, Shepard watched as his stream of semen came to a halt, the last few pulses containing little fluid. Happily sighing, he looked at Tali's feet. Thick splatters of his cum adorned the skin, strings of the fluid being shaken off her feet as she twitched in orgasm. Some of his seed had collected in the recess of one of her toes, painting the dark quarian nail a translucent white. [/B] No, No, No, No, No [IMG]http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100314035348/masseffect/images/d/d7/Veetor.jpg[/IMG] [I]No[/I] I give up. That's it, I don't think I can like Tali anymore.

[QUOTE=doommarine23;25788533][sp]Dreamily, Shepard watched as his stream of semen came to a halt, the last few pulses containing little fluid. Happily sighing, he looked at Tali's feet. Thick splatters of his cum adorned the skin, strings of the fluid being shaken off her feet as she twitched in orgasm. Some of his seed had collected in the recess of one of her toes, painting the dark quarian nail a translucent white.[/sp] No, No, No, No, No [I]No[/I] I give up. That's it, I don't think I can like Tali anymore.[/QUOTE] :smithicide: Oh god, [I]they[/I] are ruining the whole Mass Effect universe for me, I don't even know any more what to say.

Holy [I]shit.[/I] That is so well written and very well executed. I came.

[QUOTE=haloguy234;25788905]Holy [I]shit.[/I] That is so well written and very well executed. I came.[/QUOTE] You are not my son any more :colbert:

I wasn't aware you were my father.

That was hot.

[QUOTE=doommarine23;25788533] [B] Dreamily, Shepard watched as his stream of semen came to a halt, the last few pulses containing little fluid. Happily sighing, he looked at Tali's feet. Thick splatters of his cum adorned the skin, strings of the fluid being shaken off her feet as she twitched in orgasm. Some of his seed had collected in the recess of one of her toes, painting the dark quarian nail a translucent white. [/B] [/QUOTE] surely that would just kill her. human semen getting into all those delicate quarian crevices... i dont even want to think about the consequeces also, i doubt all aliens have the same genitals as humans, tali could have 4 penis's

[QUOTE=jackattack;25789959]surely that would just kill her. human semen getting into all those delicate quarian crevices... i dont even want to think about the consequeces also, i doubt all aliens have the same genitals as humans, tali could have 4 penis's[/QUOTE] Quarians are extremely human like and can have sex like them.

So can Turians. :smugdog:

[QUOTE=Pascall;25790098]So can Turians. :smugdog:[/QUOTE] how about salarians? they dont even have bacholor partys

I like how she was wearing her helmet during the entire thing.

[QUOTE=haloguy234;25790448]I like how she was wearing her helmet during the entire thing.[/QUOTE] I know right. You know what? Fuck it, I'm going to write a good mass effect story.

Reminds me of that Talific I read once where an entire chapter was devoted to Tali learning to cook food while Shepherd went and played poker with the Engineers. Fuck yeah gender roles!

the best ive read is when they tried to do it but tali didnt want to take the suit off and he snapped his cock in half

[QUOTE=haloguy234;25788905]Holy [I]shit.[/I] That is so well written and very well executed. I came.[/QUOTE] It's weird, there are actually some very well written, not to mention sickeningly detailed erotic fanfics out there. That, however, was not one of them.

You know, this thread has too much ugly cosplay and hilariously disgusting porn, we need more gruesomely detailed erotic fanfictions to ruin the series for everybody. Someone needs to find a Garrus/Thane one. Shouldn't be hard to find, since Garrus is to fangirls what Tali is to fanboys.

[QUOTE=MoarToast;25793161]You know, this thread has too much ugly cosplay and hilariously disgusting porn, we need more gruesomely detailed erotic fanfictions to ruin the series for everybody. Someone needs to find a Garrus/Thane one. Shouldn't be hard to find, since Garrus is to fangirls what Tali is to fanboys.[/QUOTE] [url]http://www.facepunch.com/threads/906068?p=25329628&viewfull=1#post25329628[/url] Horribly detailed, in a hilarious way. If you want it so bad, then write a serious fanfic about what happens in FemShep's cabin. :q:

Am I the only one finding Garrus Bromancers are creepy as well? Now the thing is some freaking Talimancers (and Garrus Bromancers) can be the same gender, either that or just the fact that some men like to play as women (nothing wrong with that). Also what's next? A freaking Tali'Zorah or Garrus shrine?!? But in a way it's the fans (maybe Bioware) that are making them worst not them, I am okay when they express their love, but if it's perverted it's just too far. But when it comes to drawing it depends whether it's art or just ridiculous pornography. Each single mancers are different from on or another, yet I rather say those who gone beyond the lines are just uh I guess I can say extremest version of them(heh Tali).

There was this one fanfiction on Thane I found hilarious, the old "dropped the fork" trick. Man, if it was possible to do that in real life without being noticed missing from your chair for several minutes let alone crawling around under the table.

I don't care what happens in Tali-fics, nothing can be worse than one Harry Potter-related ship I read once.

[QUOTE=DiscoInferno;25805599]nothing can be worse than one Harry Potter-related ship I read once.[/QUOTE] I beg to differ. [quote]Rain spattered across the sand, causing a deafening roar, like that of a hundred semis crashing into each other in apocalyptic glory. The crack of thunder split the insanity, and wind swept it up into a cacophony of natural horror. All the while David sat glumly, shielding himself from the gale beneath a rather large tree. He was soaked to the bone and miserable. Lost in Kanto, with no map, no pokedex, no food, and no company other than his beloved pokemon. He was sure he'd die of hypothermia or worse. David sighed, clinging tightly to his umbrella which proved of little worth except for some sort of moral booster. His soaked blond hair clung tightly to his body. With an absent hand he fondled the pokeballs on his lap. He clicked the switch on the front, releasing Gardevoir, to stand beside him. "Garde..?" she whispered to him soothingly. "No, I'm fine Gardevoir. I just wanted some to be with," he replied, barely audible to the young pokemon above the ripping winds. A shallow tear formed on the rim of his red eyes but was blotted out the rest of the water that coagulated on everything within sight. She patted his shoulder. She was so cute, even for a pokemon. Her thin hips swayed, her plant-like hair messed by the storm. No, no, what are you doing, he thought. She's an animal. But yet she was so much like a human, only smaller, and covered in fauna. Plus there was no one around for miles, and no amount of masturbating could satiate the lust he felt out in the wilderness... if only he could feel the flesh of a woman against his. He put a loving arm around his Gardevoir, pulling her close and whispered; "Gardevoir, you know that I'm your trainer, right? Your master?" "Gard," she nodded in agreement. He nodded in return. "And would you do anything for me?" "Garde," she nodded again. He moved another hand to her, sliding it over her wasp waist and looking carefully into her eyes. She seemed to begin to understand, a look of fear welled in her eyes. David could feel a lump in his pants swell as he began to force her upon the soaked ground. The sky rumbled with thunder all around them, the tree above them creaked threateningly. The best thing about a pokemon is that they'll never be able to tell anyone about it. In a flash his pants were off and he was atop her. She squealed and struggled, afraid to fight back because he was, indeed, her trainer. Her mind had a block in it, via years of training, years of believing he'd never harm her, that he was her best friend. He ran a hand over her leafy posterior. A probing finger slipped in between, finding a hole. He knew little of the Gardevoir anatomy, but knew that any hole would work. He plunged his rock hard cock deep inside of her anus. It was white hot. A wave of pleasure washed over him before the first stroke. Gardevoir screamed in pain, her precious anus being pulled to four times its natural size. With each thrust she screamed louder, but David couldn't hear it. The crevasse formed tightly over his shaft, gripping harder than his fist ever could. Before long he finally came, filling her sphincter with his seed. White mixed with black blood as he pulled out. Blood and feces dribbled out. The sight of Gardevoir laying there, whimping, smeared with mud, blood, cum, and her own feces unlocked something deep within David's soul. His heart soared at the sight. It felt so good! It was like he finally discovered his place in the world. While his spirit had become free, however, his mind quivered under the weight of his actions, struggling to block these memories from existence, enabling his attack. His mouth lowered in primal instinct, extending his pink tongue. He lapped up her blood and shit, using pruned fingers to smother himself. It was beautiful. The bitter taste of her poop, and the coppery taste of her blood was like magic to him. "Gardevvv..." she moaned, hands digging into the dirt. She wept. How could she do this to him? Pain was splitting her because of him. He said he'd never hurt her, though... maybe he wasn't? Maybe this was fine... He flipped her bleeding, limp body over. His mouth met hers, lashing about inside of her toothed maw. He kissed hard and deep as he carefully fit his shitty dick into her pokevagina. The head slid in easily and she whimpered. With a deft hand he massaged her clitoris. She tried to pull back to cry out but he pushed into her harder. She screamed into his mouth. The vibrations filled him in ecstasy. He violently penetrated her and wave after wave of pleasure engulfed them both. It was beyond the realm of human understanding. Collapsing universes whirled about them, being born and dying in an eternal, idiot firestorm. As he came again he thrust harder, forcing as much of himself in as he could. His penis crashed into her cervix and she let out a blood curdling scream, clawed hands digging into his flesh. David didn't like that at all. No, she wasn't allowed to injure him. He drove his bleaching fist into her mouth. There was a crunch and black syrup welled up in her mouth and eyes. She gurgled, and he smiled gleefully. Disengaged from her mangled secret, he crawled up to her face. Lifting her broken head he plunged his dick into her wounded mouth. Gardevoir could take no more. She gave himself over to him. He was her master. She would please him any way she could and never make another whimper in reply. She suckled on his piece as he pulled it in and out. Cracked lips smothered him, teasing glands and glans. He gripped her arms, squeezing tighter. More pain roared through her and she sucked harder. She gagged, puking a little. The bile stung him, so he drove another fist into her eye. Through the pain she sucked and finally he came. As he did, his mind cracked a little more. He gripped her head, forcing his cock into the back of her throat. She vomited again, squirting half-digest plant matter all over both of them and he lashed her. Her tiny bones splintered under his blows and he came harder at her destruction. Weeks later David finally found himself at Cerulean city. Gardevoir wasn't looking very good. She didn't respond to vocal stimuli and couldn't see out of the eye he caved in, but he felt no remorse for it. Even so; he felt glad. She was mentally broken. His attack had transformed her into the perfect sex slave: when he moved his cock near her she would tilt her head, trying to find it, just as a baby searches for a nipple and automatically begins suckling. She was infected, though. Mold grew upon her anus and wounded eye. Her vagina was yellow with infection, discharging constantly. She wouldn't make it another day. David rushed to the pokemon center, Gardevoir in his arms. He came up to the reception desk and there was Nurse Joy. Her eyes first when to David's dumb smiling face, but then down to the pokemon in his arms and she gasped. "What happened?!" she said, stroking Gardevoir's hair with the gentleness of a mother. "I'm not exactly sure," he muttered coldly, "I found her like this out in the forest," tears formed in Joy's eyes and she scooped the poor pokemon up, taking her over to the rejuvenation chamber for dying pokemon in another room. After flipping the switch the chamber filled with gases, obscuring outside eyes. Joy didn't mind that David had followed her in and closed the door, she was too busy studying a complicated-looking readout now appearing on a computer screen. She bent over low as she typed slowly, a complete novice with computers it appeared, and as she did her skirt teased her thick ass. Her thigh highs squeezed her legs delightfully. She was a delicious woman, and David would have no problem finding out just how delicious she was. He slid up next to her. "How does it look, nurse?" he asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Not very good, I'm afraid the rejuvenation chamber won't be enough for--" "No, not the pokemon. Your cunt." At this the nurse spun around. A hurt look flashed across her face and she bit her lip. She was exactly sure how to handle this situation. It was true that she was constantly horny. She never had time for anything outside of the hospital. Her cunt tingled at the prospect of being split. She eyed the door. Should she run? Should she have sex with this complete stranger? "He seems dangerous..." she though, but as she did her thighs pressed against themselves, pinching her slowly enlarging clitoris. David's hands began to unbutton her blouse, revealing a polkadotted bra clasping two melon-sied breasts. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the office," she said with as much courage as she could muster, but didn't stop him. He pushed her up against the computer terminal and mouthed her nipples. She gasped as he bit one, teasing it with his tongue. He sucked on it and she lurched, not noticing her hands slide down to his hips. He lifted her and placed her upon the desk. Her legs spread and she leaned back, forgetting that she was on the rag, and gave herself to him. He lowered himself to a knee, ripping off her clashing blue underwear and explosing her rosy, dripping hole. He gently tugged on the string sticking out, drawing a blood-soaked tampon out. It fell to the floor and thick chunks began to seep out. She burned for him, for this complete stranger. His fingers moved into her, rubbing the rough spot just inside the warm tunnel. his red tongue slathered her clit. He sucked on it and hummed. A dizzy, buzzing feeling filled her head and she began bucking, screaming in pleasure. Soon her screams of pleasure became those of pain as he forced three fingers into her tight pussy. She hadn't been with a man in so long.. "No, please.." she gasped as her vagina slowly spread and grew used to the probing digits. He inserted another finger and she gasped. This time her cunt burned in protest, showing no signs of widening. She squeaked. He forced another finger in and soon he was fisting her, plunging his large, manly hands in as far as they would go, spreading her wider. Filling her. "Moooree," she growled through clenched teeth, thick streams of saliva going down her cheeks, "FUCK ME HARDER YOU PEACE OF SHIT." David didn't like this however, and punched her in the gut. She lurched forward and gasped. But then, weighing how much fun he was having with being told what to do, he decided to insert his next fist. Her tendons popped and squeaked as he forced the other one inside slowly. Her cleft opened wider, and wider still. She screamed in pain and pleasure until her throat bled almost as much as her cunt. Blood streamed down his arms, mixing with her cum until his shirt and the floor were soaked. There was a knock at the door, followed by the turning of a handle. In strode the doctor the nurse had called for earlier. Her father. He stopped, shocked at the situation that unfolded in front of him. "W-What are you, what are you doing to my little girl?" he murmured. "Shut the fuck up you old bastard and get the fuck over here, her mouth isn't going to fuck itself!" David shouted, forcing his voice above that of nurse Joy's. She was horrified that her father had walked in on this, horrified at all the blood and what she had been coerced into, but she couldn't stop. Lust raged inside of her, overtaking all other motor functions. "Fuck me, daddy," she said, grinning a bloody smile. Her pleading eyes met his and before she knew it, her father's wrinkly, liver-spotted dick was in her mouth. The doctor fucked her from the opposite side of the table. Her young tongue slid over the top of his dick, teasing the helmet. He bucked wildly, shakily. He had not had sex since his wife had died ten years ago, and sometimes had dreams about his daughter. He tried to ignore them, push them to the back of his mind. But he could never help his sick fantasies. Sometimes he'd "accidentally" walk in on her dressing or showering, and would think about it later that night as he choked himself and petted his shriveling member. David began to grow bored, his maniacal, slowly-splintering mind needed more horror to satiate it. It was a curse, but one he enjoyed. He drew one hand out of her weeping puss, much to her protest. With the other he gripped her cervix and twisted. Pain cut her and she clenched her teeth and moaned, cleanly chopping her father's dick off as he came. The doctor fell backwards and the nurse sat up straight. Her vision blurred from the pain, but she was just barely able to see what David was doing. He had drawn a knife out of his pocked and driven it into his urethra. His cock opened wide and he screamed, but kept pushing hard, down into his ballsack. Blood gushed forward and he puked, bile adding to the horrendous pain, but he couldn't stop. Slowly memories of him and Gardevoir flooded back, all the fun they had back home. Memories of his mother and father, how they wanted him to succeed. They wanted him to come home, to spend time with their baby boy. Of his first love, the girl he never got over. Her name was Misty. She wanted to see him again, she had sent him a letter only a month earlier saying she wanted to be with him again, that nothing felt the same without him. What was he doing here? He couldn't stop his hands, they moved on their own, twisting out Joy's cervix, bit by bit, and slitting his genitals. At last the leathery bag was open. They gripped his testicles and pried them out, forcing them into his mouth. All three parties bled to death. It was in the news the next day. The Gardevoir recovered, but was forever in a tortured state of slavery. Misty shook as she read it. She wept and her mind grew jaded and hateful. She was alone in the world now. Nobody she loved. Nothing. Alone. She drew a pokeball from her belt and opened it. Staryu appeared next to her. "Staryu," she blushed, and looked at him through teary eyes, "would you do anything for me?" "Starr," he echoed. Her cunt burned. She needed it...[/quote] i liked the bit with the blood and sex

[QUOTE=Generic.Monk;25805741]I beg to differ. 'How does it look, nurse?' 'No, not the pokemon. Your cunt'[/QUOTE] :froggonk:

[QUOTE=Generic.Monk;25805741]I beg to differ. 'How does it look, nurse?' 'No, not the pokemon. Your cunt'[/QUOTE] what the flying fuck :suicide:

Go read "My Immortal". Pretty sure it's fake, but it's the best/worst fanfic in the history of forever.

Pretty sure everyone has heard of it already.

[QUOTE=Generic.Monk;25805741]I beg to differ. [quote][B]The best thing about a pokemon is that they'll never be able to tell anyone about it.[/B][/quote] "Shut the fuck up you old bastard and get the fuck over here, her mouth isn't going to fuck itself![/QUOTE] Okay :geno:

Poke'mon crossover with Mass Effect. ...no, terrible. Street Fighter vs. Mass Effect :q:

But miy example was a Slughorn/Snape pedo-forced sex thing.

*skims thread* Hmmm *shoots self*

I'm doing a renegade Femshep play-through (several, on second thought) in ME1, so I can get to at LEAST 50, then I'm gonna do the same in ME2. Fun times will be had.