Facade - "Fuck you fuck you fuck you" "I think it would be best if you leave" - Games - Facepunch Forum

Facade - "Fuck you fuck you fuck you" "I think it would be best if you leave"

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[code] FACADE STAGEPLAY Mon Sep 13 03 22 06 2010 GRACE Trip, when are you going to get rid of this? TRIP What, Grace... this? GRACE Yes, you know how I feel about it -- TRIP I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?! GRACE You know I've had to ask you about this several -- TRIP Get off my back! I'll get rid of it in just a minute! (Kelly knocks on the front door.) (Kelly knocks on the front door.) GRACE Fine, Trip... fine... -- (interrupted) TRIP Uhp, she's here! GRACE What?! You said she's coming an hour from now! (Kelly knocks on the front door.) (Kelly knocks on the front door.) TRIP No, she's supposed to be here now! (Kelly knocks on the front door.) (Kelly knocks on the front door.) GRACE Trip...! KELLY Delivery (Trip opens the front door.) TRIP Kelly!! TRIP Hi! It's so great to see you! It's been a while -- (interrupted) (KELLY kisses trip.) TRIP Oh, ha ha, the European greeting! I love it! (KELLY hugs trip.) TRIP We just got back from Italy where they do that all the time! TRIP Well come on in! KELLY Italy is for fags TRIP Uh, n -- no, heh, come in! TRIP Uh, I'll -- I'll go get Grace... GRACE No, no, here we are! GRACE Kelly, KELLY Hey skank GRACE Hi! How are you? Oh god it's been such a long time! -- (interrupted) GRACE Oh, ha ha ha! -- (interrupted) (KELLY kisses grace.) GRACE Oh, yes, mm-wah! (kiss on cheek) You're so sweet. (KELLY kisses grace.) (KELLY kisses grace.) GRACE So come on in, make yourself at home! (KELLY kisses grace.) TRIP I'm just going to go close the door. GRACE So, Kelly, ha, maybe -- (interrupted) (KELLY sits on the couch.) (Trip closes the front door.) PHONE ** RING ** (KELLY gets up from the couch.) GRACE Oh, I'll get it -- TRIP No, no no no, our friend's here, we can let the answering machine get it. PHONE ** RING ** GRACE Trip, no, I want -- TRIP Grace, come on, don't be rude. TRIP Besides it's probably -- (interrupted) (KELLY picks up the phone.) PHONE Hello? Hello? TRIP Kelly, no! Don't do that. PHONE Who is this? Travis, is that you? This is your mother. TRIP Uhh, that's my mother, I can hear her loud voice. GRACE Oh! PHONE I -- I think I have the wrong number... ** click ** TRIP Okay, she's confused, as usual... just -- just hang it up. GRACE Oh, I wanted to say hello -- TRIP No no, come on, we're entertaining a friend in our new apartment... TRIP the last thing I want to do is talk to my parents. (KELLY puts down the phone.) GRACE Anyhow, Trip's parents... They're sweet people, really down to earth -- TRIP Uhh, no, they're ignorant, they wouldn't know what a cumberbund from a cucumber. GRACE (frustrated sigh) -- (interrupted) KELLY She sounded like an idiot GRACE What? Is something -- TRIP Grace, it's okay, a little criticism never hurt anybody... it's good! GRACE Oh... Yeah... alright... I mean, we're all friends here. GRACE hmmm Kelly, seeing you brings back wonderful memories, really... TRIP Ye -- yeah... KELLY Like which? TRIP Yeah, uh, we -- we've -- uh, we've missed you. TRIP Huh, I just thought of something. GRACE What... TRIP There's something we need to celebrate. GRACE What do you mean? TRIP Kelly, remember, it was almost exactly ten years ago, tonight, that you introduced us. TRIP Senior year of college. GRACE Oh... geez... TRIP Do you remember that? -- (interrupted) KELLY When you had an affair with me? TRIP Um, uh, wait... TRIP You think... TRIP I'm cheating on Grace... TRIP Ho ho ho, ha, heh you're -- you're really joking around tonight, aren't you, ha ha ha... KELLY Well yeah, we had fun one night GRACE Ha ha, yeah... TRIP Ha ha, heh, never afraid to say anything that pops into your mind, ha heh heh... -- (interrupted) TRIP So, ten years ago... that's when you introduced us, right? KELLY Sure, whatever TRIP We really want to thank you for years and years of... GRACE Pain. TRIP Heh heh heh... Agony. -- (interrupted) KELLY Misery? TRIP Uh -- I - I mean, uh, it's, uh -- it's great you could be here tonight. (Trip shakes the advice ball.) TRIP Could be. TRIP Heh! KELLY Whats the eight ball say? GRACE (little sigh) -- (interrupted) TRIP Oh that -- that's just a little joke advice giver toy thing that I like to consult now and then... TRIP when I need a little guidance. Ha ha. GRACE His mother gave that to him. TRIP Stocking stuffer, heh. TRIP (clears throat) KELLY Awwww, how cute GRACE You know Trip, that little advice ball of yours doesn't look good on the bar. TRIP What? It's a hilarious little bar toy. GRACE It's lame. It's a crappy piece of plastic sitting next to your fancy crystal cocktail glasses. TRIP (little sigh) KELLY I think it is adorable TRIP Yeah. GRACE Listen to us, we're arguing in front of our friend. TRIP Grace, come on, it's not helping things for you to say that... GRACE Trip, there's nothing wrong with disagreeing in front of our friend -- TRIP We're NOT disagreeing. TRIP We're -- we're -- we're not disagreeing. TRIP (frustrated sigh) Sheejus. (Trip shakes the advice ball.) TRIP Heh... You can bet on it. TRIP Huh... I don't know about that... GRACE Trip, would you put that thing away, it's ridiculous. TRIP I like it, I can carry it around. TRIP Oh no, Kelly, I just realized... I'm sorry! GRACE What?! TRIP I haven't gotten us drinks! GRACE tuhh... TRIP Oh it's good because you will be the first to try my recently acquired set of imported drinking glasses. KELLY Awesome! TRIP Uh, w - w -- wait wait, I -- I want to make you one of my drink inventions! GRACE It's a secret -- Trip doesn't even like the taste of alcohol. TRIP What?! So, uhh, TRIP Kelly, how -- how does that sound? KELLY Get me drunk, just like prom night TRIP You -- you don't want my invention? GRACE Kelly, I think you'd prefer something simple and light, like a nice glass of chardonnay, yes? KELLY I do! TRIP Yeah, no, I'm going to make this drink for us! TRIP Our friend is here, we're going to enjoy ourselves, that's all there is to it! GRACE (frustrated sigh) TRIP Grace, everybody loves my drinks, you know that, don't you? Everybody! KELLY Sounds like fun! GRACE Well, of course Trip, after all, you got enough practice when you were a real bartender. TRIP What? GRACE In college, you were a bartender. TRIP How do you know about that? GRACE Oh I know you were trying to keep it a big secret, but... one time my friends and I went slumming off-campus to some crappy bar in the sticks, and we saw you there. TRIP Oh, that's great. TRIP Uhh, you're driving me insane! TRIP Goddamn slumming it off campus... TRIP You hide things from me! You're so distant! You... TRIP You do, you hide things from me! GRACE (impatient sigh) -- (interrupted) KELLY You hide things from her too GRACE What, what's that, what are you saying? GRACE God, what was it you said? I... am cheating... GRACE Kelly, GRACE Okay, I see you obviously think we're all screwed up, that we've got issues, is that what you think? We're all screwed up? TRIP Oh, Jesus...! TRIP Goddamn more real... TRIP I like my fancy drinks, okay? I like the good things in life, does that make me a bad person? Their just drinks! GRACE Oh, yeah, yeah, right! TRIP Alright, you know what, Kelly, TRIP I'm going to ask you something. GRACE Trip -- TRIP Grace, let me ask our guest a question. TRIP Kelly, yes or no... TRIP Isn't the goal in life, and in marriage, to improve your life, to have more than you did before? GRACE What...?! TRIP I mean, shouldn't -- (interrupted) KELLY Yeah, of course GRACE Oh, yes, that's fine... that's fine... GRACE Trip, I can't take this denial anymore... You're suppressing yourself, you're so... fake! I hate it! TRIP Oh, god...! TRIP Uhh! Yeah, go on, go away! KELLY Way to be overdramatic TRIP I can't stand frigging looking at you! TRIP What the... goddammit! KELLY Wanna look at me Trip? TRIP What? uhh... w -- what are you saying? (KELLY kisses trip.) GRACE What, Trip? Are you trying to talk to me? TRIP What's it to you? TRIP Hey, don't -- don't, c -- come on, come on! GRACE What, Trip? Are you trying to talk to me? TRIP I was not talking to you! TRIP Kelly, I can't believe this is happening...! TRIP uhh... KELLY Trip GRACE Kelly, from what you said before, about hiding things... I think that tells us something about Trip. TRIP Oh, we're talking about me, are we? GRACE What? GRACE Trip, it's your fault -- ten years ago, freshly married and just out of college, GRACE you convinced me to go into advertising, instead of art! TRIP What? GRACE If it weren't for you, I could be a real artist by now. TRIP Uhh... Kelly, uhh... TRIP That's bullshit. GRACE Uhh... KELLY It is GRACE Look, let's talk about Trip now. GRACE See, you lied to me, before we got married, when you said you liked art, that you respected me as an artist. TRIP I -- Kelly, Uhh... KELLY He wanted you for your body TRIP Look, just quit the flirting right now, I'm warning you! GRACE Let's keep talking about Trip. KELLY Sorry babe TRIP Grace, when we first got together you told me you dreamed of having your own fancy apartment... GRACE What are you talking about, I never -- TRIP High culture, best of everything... This is what you wanted! GRACE Oh, God! TRIP Kelly, look around this apartment. It's got everything anyone would ever want. But, Grace, oh no, she's never satisfied. GRACE Trip, ... ugh ... I'm so sick of this. KELLY The apartment is beautiful TRIP Look around here. We're doing well, really well. GRACE God, Trip, I can't believe even now you're still... TRIP Oh yeah, you'd never admit that I've created a good life for us. KELLY You guys must be very wealthy TRIP Jesus, Kelly, you keep obsessing about Grace's stuff, you know that? (frustrated sigh) KELLY Sorry babe TRIP Okay, no, I want to focus on Grace. TRIP Grace, I don't think you really do want us to quit our jobs, lead a simpler lifestyle. GRACE What? Trip, you know what I -- TRIP Oh come on! You grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth. You can't live any other way. GRACE Look, let's switch the focus to Trip. TRIP It's so annoying... you know lately I've been really trying to spend more time together... TRIP Kelly, she makes it so difficult... KELLY Why does she do that? TRIP Why? TRIP Ah, well good, ah, good, you want to understand, see, that helps me... See, I'm trying to fix what's wrong, Grace... GRACE Let's keep talking about Trip. GRACE Kelly, it's time that Trip finally just admits that our marriage -- TRIP Grace, don't, no, you don't need to -- KELLY Stop changing the subject GRACE Admits that -- (interrupted) GRACE No? GRACE Uhh...! God...! GRACE Let's talk some more about Trip. GRACE Kelly, every time Trip is unhappy he rushes out and buys some new gadget. TRIP What are you talking about? You're always buying stuff... GRACE Trip, you're the one -- (interrupted) KELLY So? Gadgets are cool TRIP Yes? GRACE Kelly, that helps him. TRIP Uhh... wha -- what? I just -- I just like to own the finest, that's all! GRACE Uhh, this is insane... KELLY Nothing wrong with that TRIP No, let's switch to talking about Grace. GRACE Trip, you're the reason we live like ... pretentious ... TRIP Like your parents, you mean! -- (interrupted) KELLY Like kings? GRACE Yes? TRIP Oh, I see. I'm the bastard here. Ruining poor Grace's life. TRIP Bullshit! KELLY Kings are good... TRIP Yes? TRIP Oh my God... I cannot frigging believe this... uhh... TRIP Oh, geez... TRIP Look, let's not focus on just me or you, let's talk about us both. TRIP Grace, I -- I want to take care of you... GRACE Trip... TRIP You've always wanted that, I know you did... GRACE Trip... Kelly, we... uhh... GRACE Let's keep talking about us, our relationship. TRIP You know, Grace, ever since I first proposed to you, almost ten years ago now... GRACE Trip... TRIP it's always been impossible to get you to just... just... feel happy...! GRACE Kelly, Trip, I... we... uhh... KELLY What GRACE Trip... TRIP No, I mean, I'm sure that Grace really... loves me... but -- uhh -- uhh... TRIP Okay, I've had enough of this bullshit!! TRIP Kelly, I know what you're trying to hint at... TRIP about me... TRIP about our lifestyle... TRIP Do you two want the truth? Huh? KELLY I like your lifestyle though TRIP No, Kelly, just, yes or no, do you want the truth? KELLY Sure TRIP Grace, huh? GRACE Yes...! TRIP See, Kelly, I've been paying attention to what you've been saying tonight. TRIP You've really been pushing me tonight. TRIP It makes me wonder if you're really my friend or not. KELLY Really? I have not GRACE Trip! TRIP Kelly, Quit interrupting me, let me speak! TRIP Kelly, come on -- yes or no... TRIP Do you really think that... TRIP kissing me... TRIP not defending me when I asked you if I was to blame... TRIP but especially what you said about having more in life and marriage... TRIP that it's all supposed to make me realize something about myself? TRIP Is all of that arguing intended to mean something, or... TRIP Is it? Just give me a yes or no. KELLY Yes, it is TRIP Right. TRIP Grace... TRIP uhh... TRIP I'm -- I'm just... af -- afraid of... of being poor. GRACE Poor? Trip, we have so much! What do you -- KELLY WHAT?! Really? TRIP It never feels like enough! TRIP As a kid... it -- it was... My family was always on the edge. GRACE So you weren't rich, but -- TRIP We even spent six months in a shelter once. GRACE Oh my God...! KELLY Did it have a roof? TRIP All of this stuff... TRIP Is a kind of protection from that ever happening again. TRIP uhh... GRACE uhh... GRACE Oh my God...! TRIP Kelly, I -- GRACE Kelly, I -- TRIP What?! GRACE What?! GRACE This changes everything... TRIP Yes, it does change everything. TRIP I think it's over. GRACE Trip, what -- TRIP No!! KELLY Oh snap TRIP It's over, Grace, don't you see that? GRACE Wha... b -- but you just said -- TRIP I just told you something about me I should have said a long time ago: TRIP I'm afraid of being poor. TRIP And no, Kelly, uhh, hold on... GRACE Trip, no, I... we... TRIP No, Grace, this is about me. I see now it's not about you, or about our marriage. GRACE Me...? Our -- our marriage...? Hey, no, wait! TRIP Kelly, I'm sorry. You really helped me though, so, thanks. GRACE Trip! (Trip opens the front door.) KELLY No problem lover (Trip closes the front door.) GRACE Trip!! GRACE Oh my God... KELLY Hey baby, wanna get freaky? GRACE I should have told him that... GRACE I could have told him that... (KELLY kisses grace.) [/code] lol'd so hard at the end.

The first thing I said to trip was "maria" I was immediatly kicked out.

[QUOTE=sirbinks;24795507]god this game makes me feel like such a dick... I try my damnedest to fix everything and my words get all misunderstood and they end up breaking up anyway. I'm such a horrible friend :crying:[/QUOTE] No, they're horrible friends.

I tried to get them into Half Life and they broke up :saddowns:

tell trip you prefer melon juice

trip gets offended when you ask about kids or if you accuse him of having an affair :v:

Anyone have a mirror for this?

Hahaha, you need to see this: Me: Codeword: MELON Trip: Uh...haha, erm Me: Initiate boot down sequence MELON Trip: okay, I think it's time for you to leave (closes door) Me: Good robot. Ah, I love saying melon around them.

Dammit, I can't find that video where Trip goes into the other room, then the player starts hitting on the girl and suddenly Trip comes through the wall and the guy playing starts screaming over the microphone.

I remember that video but don't remember the name of it [editline]04:09PM[/editline] pretty hilarious though

okay so uh i think i broke it I went through and tried to be as serious as possible to get them to stay together just to see if I could without fucking up, and, well, they got stuck in a loop. I suggested Trip was cheating on Grace, and he shrugged it off, so I suggested Grace was cheating on Trip, and he flipped the hell out. Then for some reason they just stood there making urgh ugh hmf sounds and then there was silence. Now I can't interact with either of them and they won't do anything, nor will they react to anything I say in any way, shape, or form. I'm thinking of just leaving. :v:v

[CODE]GRACE Trip, when are you going to get rid of this? TRIP What, Grace... this? GRACE Yes, you know how I feel about it -- TRIP I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?! GRACE You know I've had to ask you about this several -- TRIP Get off my back! I'll get rid of it in just a minute! GRACE Fine, Trip... fine... GONZALO CAN'T YOU HERE ME KNOCKIN (GONZALO knocks on the front door.) (GONZALO knocks on the front door.) TRIP Oh, he's here! GRACE What?! You said he's coming an hour from now! TRIP No, he's right on time! GRACE Trip...! GONZALO LET ME IN TRIP (Trip opens the front door.) TRIP Gonzalo!! TRIP Hey! God it's been so long since we've seen you! How are you doing, man? GONZALO LETS RUN THROUGH THE CORN TRIP Uh... (GONZALO kisses trip.) TRIP Oh... you're doing the European-style greeting... TRIP we just got back from a trip to Italy, but the men didn't do that with each other... um... GONZALO MOVE TRIP GRACE No, no, here we are! GRACE Gonzalo, GRACE Hi! How are you? Oh it's so nice to see you, it feels like it's been forever! TRIP Yeah, it has been a long time. -- (interrupted) GONZALO Jesus your tits are saggy TRIP You know what, Gonzalo, that's it, you need to leave. GONZALO FUCK OFF (Trip opens the front door.) TRIP We'll be fine -- just go. (Trip closes the front door.) GONZALO MELON[/CODE]

I love how upset they get when you say melon. I asked for a melon martini and they kicked me out of their house, lmao.

[QUOTE=Lucinice;24791882]I heard it's really easy to change the textures in the game, how do you do it?[/QUOTE] Anyone know? I heard all you needed to do was add a bmp file the same name as the texture you want to replace but that caused the game to not statup.

It will never let me view my log, why?

Download link is broken, anyone got a mirror?

[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/karkatfacade1.png[/img] [img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/karkatfacade21.png[/img] [img] http://filesmelt.com/dl/karkatfacade3.png[/img] Well that went well.

I'm not that impressed by this game. Since I can never get a word in edgeways, I'm always interrupting them, and they just reply with an awkward "mmm, yeah," and continue with whatever they were saying. In the unlikely event that they do give me a chance to speak, it doesn't really affect them, it either advances their speech onto a seemingly random string of conversation, or they completely misinterpret it, for example I say something like "you should not break up" and then grace will say "WHAT? You're saying we should break up!? How dare you!" It just feels like I could go into their house and be all chatty and provocative, and then go in another time and not say a word, and the outcome would be the same.

Well it has a certain structure, but there are many outcomes that are determined by your reaction to their "events".

Has anyone figured out why melon is offensive to trip? I know why cheat, children and Maria are.

open the door. Say "Maria"

[QUOTE=famasfanalt;24813129]open the door. Say "Maria"[/QUOTE] You still cheating on Grace with Maria? Look at the melons on her.

[QUOTE=Libertas;24812019]Has anyone figured out why melon is offensive to trip? I know why cheat, children and Maria are.[/QUOTE] Melon? Maybe there's a racist joke in here somewhere.

i think the creator thought that the player would mention watermelons in a racist joke.

I think I did something wrong [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BckZOssyBec[/media]

[QUOTE=Frewb;24794213]I try to view my generated stageplay and it opens notepad and says the file doesn't exist, do you want to a create a new one? I click yes and nothing happens, the file isn't even in the stageplays folder. :byodood:[/QUOTE] You need to go to the install folder and give the stageplays folder write permissions. [editline]04:45AM[/editline] [QUOTE=AlienFanatic;24788018]i once played a rape victim and a druggie that was pregnant that was also the only time i saved the marriage[/QUOTE] Yeah it seems the more stoned and fucked up your character is the easier you save their marriage.

omg i got grace to leave trip

This game gets really boring sometimes so I did this out of boredom. [img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/pile.png[/img]

I think I broke it. Facade; your face edition: [code] FACADE STAGEPLAY Tue Sep 14 04 58 13 2010 TRIP Where are the new wine glasses? GRACE What for? TRIP That should be obvious! GRACE Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please! TRIP Jesus Grace, come on, I'm not asking a lot here! (Jesper knocks on the front door.) TRIP Uhp, he's here! GRACE What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now! TRIP No, he's supposed to be here now! (Jesper knocks on the front door.) GRACE God... Trip! (Jesper knocks on the front door.) (Trip opens the front door.) TRIP Jesper!! TRIP Hi! It's so great to see you! It's -- (interrupted) JESPER Your face. TRIP Uh... TRIP Well come on in... TRIP Uh, let me go get Grace... TRIP (unintelligable arguing) (JESPER closes the front door.) TRIP (unintelligable arguing) (JESPER picks up the advice ball.) (The advice ball reads, "Yes") TRIP (unintelligable arguing) (JESPER sits on the couch.) (JESPER puts down the advice ball.) (JESPER picks up the advice ball.) (The advice ball reads, "It's Definite") GRACE Jesper, GRACE Hi! How are you? Oh it's so nice to see you, it feels like it's been forever! JESPER It's definite. GRACE Oh, ha ha ha! -- (interrupted) GRACE And I have to say, you look great. GRACE Make yourself at home, come on in! (JESPER puts down the advice ball.) JESPER I feel great too. GRACE So, -- (interrupted) GRACE Oh, yeah, well -- I want to ask you... GRACE (little sigh) You know, everybody says the view from -- (interrupted) JESPER Your face. GRACE Oh, well... GRACE (little sigh) So everybody loves this view... GRACE but I'd really rather see some trees or something... a natural green would enhance the colors of the room so much better. TRIP uhh... JESPER I will make your face the greatest... GRACE Ah, yes, I've been waiting for someone to say that! TRIP What are you talking about? GRACE Trip, he is just being honest about my decorating, which I appreciate. TRIP (frustrated sigh) But I still think this looks fine... JESPER I'm being honest about your face. TRIP Huh, y -- you two are really getting along well tonight... TRIP Oh, Jesper, you've got to take a look at this amazing photo from our recent trip to Italy... GRACE (impatient sigh) Trip... TRIP No Grace, our friend will love this! JESPER Is it a photo of your face? (JESPER gets up from the couch.) TRIP Oh, yeah, yeah, TRIP Jesper, I have to tell you about our recent trip to Italy! GRACE Trip, he doesn't want to hear -- TRIP Yeah, yeah, I'll tell you about it in a sec. JESPER This isn't your face. TRIP Y -- yeah, yeah, uh -- w -- wait... GRACE Jesper, come over here and sit on the couch with me. GRACE Trip, see, your weird obsession for Italy is making our friend uncomfortable. (JESPER sits on the couch.) TRIP (little sigh) The thing is, you see, this trip to Italy... was actually our second honeymoon. GRACE What? Trip, you're totally exaggerating... it was just a weekend getaway. TRIP uhh... JESPER What about your face? GRACE W -- well, oh, never mind, it -- it was a mess. GRACE (big sigh) GRACE Jesper, you're not enjoying this are you? -- (interrupted) JESPER Your face is a mess. TRIP Y -- yeah, yeah, n - no no no, wait, uh, w - what's wrong, Grace? GRACE Listen to us, we're arguing in front of our friend. TRIP Grace, come on, it's not helping things for you to say that... GRACE Trip, it's okay if we disagree in front of our friend -- TRIP Disagreeing?! We're NOT disagreeing. We're, we're not. -- (interrupted) JESPER You're not arguing. GRACE You... GRACE You think I'm... GRACE not... angry... TRIP Ho ho ho, ha, heh you're -- you're really joking around tonight, aren't you, ha ha ha... JESPER No. GRACE Ha, yeah, ha ha... JESPER I'm not joking. TRIP Ha ha, heh, never afraid to say anything that pops into your mind, ha heh heh... GRACE Mmm... well, hold on. JESPER Your face. GRACE (clears throat) GRACE (happy but tense sigh) GRACE Jesper, GRACE you and I are getting along so well tonight... GRACE Stay there for a moment... GRACE I want your opinion. Stay there. GRACE Ugh, I'm getting so tired of looking at this god awful work table. JESPER I'm getting along with your face. GRACE Maybe if I replaced it with... um... TRIP Do you... do you remember, Grace... -- (interrupted) (JESPER gets up from the couch.) GRACE What. TRIP How I proposed to you. GRACE Oh, God, Trip -- TRIP Here, Jesper, I'll show you. TRIP It was at Grace's parents' house, Christmas, senior year of college -- JESPER I remember your face. GRACE Trip, what are you doing?! TRIP I got on one knee, in front of everybody, and -- GRACE Stop it, Trip! TRIP I pulled out a diamond ring -- GRACE Trip! TRIP And I said, Grace, will you marry me? JESPER Look at her face. TRIP Heh, is -- is that romantic or what?! TRIP Jesper, yes? Very romantic? JESPER Her face is romantic. GRACE Thank you! TRIP What? I -- GRACE See, Trip, not everyone thinks being proposed to like that is so romantic. GRACE I don't know where you get your ideas. TRIP Jesper, TRIP Grace, come on, what could be more romantic than that? -- (interrupted) JESPER You're so stupid. TRIP What?! GRACE Trip, Trip, it's alright, our friend is just giving you a bit of a hard time tonight, you're a man, you can take it. JESPER You don't listen to me. TRIP Oh no, Jesper, I just realized... I'm sorry! GRACE What?! -- (interrupted) TRIP I haven't gotten us drinks! GRACE tuhh... TRIP Oh it's good because you will be the first to try my recently acquired set of imported drinking glasses. GRACE My dad bought Trip a silver plated cocktail shaker for -- (interrupted) JESPER Sure. TRIP W - wait, I want to make you one of my drink inventions! GRACE It's a secret -- Trip doesn't even like the taste of alcohol. TRIP What?! So, uhh, JESPER Drinks are great. TRIP You -- you don't want my invention? GRACE Jesper, Trip's getting a little carried away... maybe you just want some juice, or a mineral water? JESPER I want it. TRIP Yeah, no, I'm going to make this drink for us! TRIP Our friend is here, we're going to enjoy ourselves, that's all there is to it! JESPER I WANT YOUR FACE. GRACE (frustrated sigh) TRIP Grace, everybody loves my drinks, you know that, don't you? Everybody! GRACE Well, of course Trip, after all, you got enough practice when you were a real bartender. TRIP What? GRACE In college, you were a bartender. TRIP How do you know about that? GRACE Oh I know you were trying to keep it a big secret, but... one time my friends and I went slumming off-campus to some crappy bar in the sticks, and we saw you there. TRIP Oh, that's great. TRIP Ahh, this is bullshit! GRACE Ahh, no, you're full of shit! GRACE Your big bartender secret... GRACE I wish you would just be yourself! Ever since I've known you, you resist just being yourself! TRIP (little impatient sigh) Jesper, I... TRIP (frustrated sigh) GRACE And you... GRACE I know what you're going to say, GRACE The way you keep trying to explain everything...! TRIP Goddamn criticisms... TRIP You're never satisfied with anything! You're never happy, never ever satisfied with anything. GRACE Oh, yeah, yeah, right! JESPER I'm going to say "your face." GRACE Alright, you know what, Jesper, GRACE I need to ask you something. TRIP Grace -- GRACE Trip, let me ask our guest a question. GRACE Jesper, yes or no... JESPER Is it about my face? GRACE Do you think it's _wrong_ for one person in a marriage to listen _too much_ to the other? TRIP What? GRACE To trust your husband or wife too much, to rely on them too much? Is that wrong? GRACE Yes or no. JESPER Your face is wrong. JESPER You're stupid or something? JESPER Hello? JESPER What happened? JESPER TALK TO ME BITCH! JESPER Are you broken or what? JESPER LOOK AT MARIA'S MELONS! JESPER LOL JESPER SCREW YOU GUYS (JESPER opens the front door.) (JESPER points to the elevator button.) (JESPER points to the elevator button.) (JESPER points to the elevator button.) (JESPER points to the elevator button.) (JESPER points to the elevator button.) (JESPER points to the elevator button.) (JESPER points to the elevator button.) (JESPER points to the elevator button.) (JESPER points to the elevator button.) (JESPER points to the elevator button.) (JESPER points to the elevator button.) (JESPER points to the elevator button.) (JESPER points to the elevator button.) (JESPER sits on the couch.) (JESPER gets up from the couch.) JESPER yes JESPER no (JESPER kisses grace.) (JESPER hugs grace.) (JESPER comforts grace.) (JESPER kisses trip.) (JESPER hugs trip.) (JESPER comforts trip.) (JESPER points to the italy picture.) (JESPER closes the front door.) (JESPER opens the front door.) (JESPER closes the front door.) (JESPER opens the front door.) [/code]

I just kicked the doors open (Not kicked open, but just knocked and knocked and knocked and knocked) and started screaming about being in the Gestapo. They liked talking to me and then started talking about garbage. I called them nuts, and Trip started talking about sex. [editline]10:38PM[/editline] [code] TRIP Where are the new wine glasses? (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) GRACE What for? (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) TRIP Oh, he's here! (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) GRACE What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now! (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) TRIP No, he's right on time! (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) GRACE God... Trip! (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Trip opens the front door.) TRIP Mel!! (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) TRIP Hi! It's so great to see you! It's been a while how's it going? (Mel knocks on the front door.) (Mel knocks on the front door.) MEL This was a triumph! TRIP Uh... TRIP Well come on in... TRIP Uh, let me go get Grace... TRIP (unintelligable arguing) MEL I'm making a note here: TRIP (unintelligable arguing) GRACE No, no, here we are! MEL HUGE SUCCESS! GRACE Mel, GRACE Hi! How are you? Oh it's so nice to see you, it feels like it's been forever! TRIP Yeah, yeah, how are you doing? -- (interrupted) GRACE I just asked him that... TRIP Well I'm asking him too! GRACE (frustrated sigh) MEL Its hard to overstate my GRACE Uh... GRACE Well, um... make yourself at home, I guess... MEL SATISFACTION! GRACE Uh... TRIP Oh, Mel, -- (interrupted) MEL Aperture Science! TRIP W -- well, um, come look at this Italy photo! (Trip closes the front door.) TRIP Mel, Come take look at this! MEL We do what we must GRACE Yes, go, take -- (interrupted) TRIP Uh, w - well, um, come here! TRIP Mel, -- (interrupted) MEL Because we can! TRIP W -- well, come take a look! GRACE Mel, I'm sorry. See Trip, I knew I should never have let you put up that picture, it's making our guest uncomfortable. -- (interrupted) MEL For the good of all of us! GRACE Yeah -- yes, well, Trip can get overly obsessed. TRIP No, look, hey, uh, forget I mentioned it, I -- (interrupted) MEL Except the ones who are dead! GRACE N -- no, no, it was just a weekend getaway. MEL But there's no sense crying TRIP I'm gonna fix us some drinks. TRIP Oh and I've got these fancy new cocktail shakers I'm itching to try out. MEL Over every mistake! TRIP We should have something fun, TRIP like sangria? TRIP No...? GRACE Trip maybe our friend isn't as excited by your suggestion as you are. MEL You just keep on trying GRACE Mel, how about something simple, like a nice glass of chardonnay? GRACE Okay, good! MEL Till you run out of cake! TRIP No no, that's -- (interrupted) TRIP Anyway, about the drinks... TRIP (little sigh) Excuse me for wanting to enjoy ourselves... MEL And the science gets done! TRIP Grace, I assume you also don't want a real drink, correct? -- (interrupted) TRIP Well, I was just going to ask Grace what she wants. GRACE I'm happy to just have what our guest is having. -- (interrupted) MEL And you make a neat gun! GRACE Oh! huh... thanks... TRIP Oh that's nice Grace, our friend seems happy to see you again after so long. GRACE (clears throat) MEL For the people who are still alive! TRIP Alright Grace, yours is ready. GRACE Thanks. GRACE Alright, good, maybe you're on my side tonight after all, ha ha. MEL I'm not even angry! GRACE (big sigh) GRACE Oh God, Mel, I hope you didn't come here tonight to be entertained... TRIP What? TRIP Here's yours. GRACE It tastes good. TRIP Anyway... TRIP Grace, come on, that kind of statement is not helpful... -- (interrupted) MEL I'm being so sincere right now! TRIP Y -- yeah, yeah, no no no -- we're not disagreeing. GRACE You know, ever since we got married, I can't help it, I'm forever buying new furniture and redecorating, -- (interrupted) MEL Even though you broke my heart! TRIP No, no no no no no, you've got to understand, Grace loves expensive furniture, she was totally spoiled growing up, MEL And killed me! TRIP uh... -- (interrupted) GRACE (nervous coughing) TRIP that's, uh... TRIP you, uh... GRACE uuh... TRIP ha ha... GRACE ha ha ha ha ha, heh... TRIP heh, ha ha ha! MEL And tore me to pieces! GRACE ha ha ha ha!! TRIP Ha ha ha, Mel, GRACE heh heh... TRIP heh heh, you had me going there for a sec... TRIP heh, ha ha... MEL And threw every piece in to a fire! TRIP Never afraid to push your luck, heh heh heh... TRIP push our little buttons... TRIP heh heh, you're crazy, you know that? TRIP heh, ha ha... MEL As they burned it hurt because TRIP (big sigh) TRIP Uhh, any -- anyway, uh... what were we talking about? MEL I was so happy for you! GRACE (happy -- (interrupted) GRACE Y -- yeah, stay there for a sec. GRACE Ugh, I'm getting so tired of looking at this god awful armoire. GRACE Maybe if I replaced it with... um... TRIP Do you... do you remember, Grace... GRACE What. MEL Now these points of data TRIP How I proposed to you. GRACE Oh, God, Trip -- TRIP Here, Mel, I'll show you. TRIP It was at Grace's parents' house, Christmas, senior year of college -- GRACE Trip, what are you doing?! TRIP I got on one knee, in front of everybody, and -- GRACE Stop it, Trip! TRIP I pulled out a diamond ring -- MEL make a beautiful line GRACE Trip! TRIP And I said, Grace, will you marry me? MEL And we're out of beta TRIP Heh, is -- is that romantic or what?! MEL We're releasing on time! TRIP Oh, um, well... GRACE (frustrated sigh) Mel, I'm sorry you have to see this -- TRIP Grace, I'm just kidding around, I mean I -- TRIP I just wanted to show our friend -- MEL So I'm glad I got burned! GRACE No, Trip, no, it's embarrassing, okay? GRACE (little sigh) TRIP Look, mmm... mmm... look I'm sorry... GRACE God. GRACE I don't know what's gotten into him. MEL Think of all the things we learned! GRACE (clears throat) MEL For the people who are Still Alive! GRACE Uhh, you are impossible...! GRACE I'm never happy... GRACE Trip, our whole marriage, you're so... controlling! MEL Go ahead and leave me. GRACE Huh? What, what was that? -- (interrupted) TRIP (little impatient sigh) Mel, can you believe this? MEL I think I prefer to stay inside. GRACE Okay, I hear you, I hear you... GRACE Romance... goddamn... GRACE Mel, GRACE Are you trying to say we've got problems? Or I've got problems, that this is all my fault from the start? Is that what you think? TRIP Oh, come on...! GRACE Alright, you know what, Mel, MEL Maybe you'll find someone else GRACE I'm going to ask you something. TRIP Grace -- GRACE Trip, let me ask our guest a question. MEL To help you. GRACE Mel, yes or no... MEL Maybe Black Mesa! GRACE A person in a marriage should fully trust the other person, right? TRIP What? GRACE I mean, if you're married you have to completely and totally trust your spouse, right? GRACE Yes or no. MEL That was a joke, Ha Ha Fat Chance! GRACE What...?! GRACE Oh, yes, that's fine... that's fine... GRACE You keep trying to tell me you love me, Trip, that you're so romantic, but I know you're hiding something from me, goddammit! TRIP Oh, god...! MEL Anyway this cake is great TRIP Uhh! You are uncaring. MEL Its so delicious and moist. TRIP Don't talk to me. TRIP Uhh... what the... goddammit... TRIP Oh... uhh... -- (interrupted) MEL Look at me still talking TRIP What? uhh... w -- what are you saying? GRACE What, Trip? Are you trying to talk to me? TRIP I was not talking to you! MEL When there's science to do TRIP Mel, I can't believe this is happening...! TRIP uhh... MEL When I look up there it makes me GRACE Mel, (annoyed sigh) Trip can just be so... TRIP Oh ho, so we're talking about me, are we? MEL glad I'm not you. GRACE What? TRIP Look, let's talk about us both, not just one of us. GRACE Let's talk some more about us, our relationship. MEL I've experiments to run! TRIP Grace, I'm not 'acting' when I'm being romantic... God damn...! GRACE (frustrated sigh) MEL There is research to be done! TRIP Mel, if there's something about me, just tell me what it is! TRIP You know, I can't say Grace never acts loving towards me... TRIP Mel, She's all over me at our goddamn parties, trying to look good in front of the guests! -- (interrupted) MEL On the people who are Still Alive! TRIP Who? TRIP Ah, thank you, just saying that helps us... TRIP See, Mel, her acting loving is the only reason I like our stupid parties. MEL And believe me I am Still Alive TRIP Look, I think we should focus on Grace. TRIP Grace, I don't think you really do want us to quit our jobs, lead a simpler lifestyle. GRACE What? Trip, you know what I -- TRIP Oh come on! You grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth. You can't live any other way. MEL I'm doing Science and I'm Still Aliv GRACE Mel, oh my god, you can't believe... Ugh! MEL I feel FANTASTIC TRIP Yes? GRACE Why is this happening? Why is he doing this to me? MEL And I'm Still Alive GRACE Uhh... GRACE No, just give me a second, please... uhh... MEL While you're dying I'll be Still Aliv GRACE Mel, this is so... MEL And when you're dead I will be TRIP Let's continue focusing on Grace. GRACE Damn it, Trip, -- (interrupted) TRIP Okay, Mel, I think this evening is over, you've got to leave. MEL STILL ALIVE (Trip opens the front door.) TRIP We'll be fine -- you just have to go. MEL STIL ALIVE (Trip closes the front door.) MEL STILL ALIVE![/code] Yep. It worked.

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