• Facade - "Fuck you fuck you fuck you" "I think it would be best if you leave"
    297 replies, posted
they should redo this, except using something like [url]http://www.cleverbot.com[/url] and voice producing software. It'd be a major improvement.
Sweet jesus. I am downloadin' this!
[QUOTE=TopOfMahDough;35860921]Sweet jesus. I am downloadin' this![/QUOTE] You can usually tell what a user will be like from their first post, it's usually not the best of ideas to mega-necro.
Holy shit two year bump! I'll upload a video soon.
Wow
This is kind of worthy of a bump though.
Damn, I remember this.
[video=youtube;ipZbnPkJTGU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipZbnPkJTGU&feature=g-upl[/video] It was shit, because of the tv noise and lol fireflies inb copyright. yeah I have pc and tv in the same room.
Looking at the OP made me feel schizophrenic for a moment.
Didn't trip have like the weirdest aversion to the word melon? Just that word, not other variants of melons.
Who would win? Berserk Doomguy who wants to rip and tear versus Trip who has huge guts and he wants you to leave
Anyone see what happens when you Gordon Freeman* this? *Play the whole game and progress without saying a word.** **Not even ellipses.
[QUOTE=Twistshock;35899589]Didn't trip have like the weirdest aversion to the word melon? Just that word, not other variants of melons.[/QUOTE] Yeah, minute you say it, that's you out. [editline]10th May 2012[/editline] I think he was called a melon in his youth, and it's mentally affected him now.
[QUOTE=Hellborg 65;35899931]Yeah, minute you say it, that's you out. [editline]10th May 2012[/editline] I think he was called a melon in his youth, and it's mentally affected him now.[/QUOTE] His father was killed by a melon when Trip was a small child.
[video=youtube;r0jS8b9ZV38]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0jS8b9ZV38[/video]
[QUOTE=supertribute;35898303][video=youtube;ipZbnPkJTGU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipZbnPkJTGU&feature=g-upl[/video] It was shit, because of the tv noise and lol fireflies inb copyright. yeah I have pc and tv in the same room.[/QUOTE] see you later.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZE4-vM4Xws[/media]
Are there any games similar to facade?
nope
"I will eat your children" is not an acceptable greeting. "Let us drink the blood of our foes" also seems to get you thrown out when he asks you what you want to drink :v:
Asking Trip for his stash of drugs doesn't go very well either.
Chip doesn't like it if you scream racial obscenities in his face the instant he opens the door. He just opened it, I shouted one little word at him, he closed the door, didn't say a thing.
[QUOTE=Shibbey;35994542]Chip doesn't like it if you scream racial obscenities in his face the instant he opens the door. He just opened it, I shouted one little word at him, he closed the door, didn't say a thing.[/QUOTE] I once played a female Russian spy, every second sentence was "I will kill you and dispose of the evidence." Trip was all like "Oh Natasha, you sure know how to have a good time!"
I always get thrown out because i can't help but bring up the rainbow dildo on the shelf.
[code] FACADE STAGEPLAY Sun May 20 03 50 05 2012 TRIP Where are the new wine glasses? -- (interrupted) (George knocks on the front door.) (George knocks on the front door.) (George knocks on the front door.) (George knocks on the front door.) (George knocks on the front door.) (George knocks on the front door.) (George knocks on the front door.) TRIP Oh, he's here! (George knocks on the front door.) (George knocks on the front door.) GRACE What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now! (George knocks on the front door.) (George knocks on the front door.) (George knocks on the front door.) (George knocks on the front door.) TRIP No, he's right on time! GRACE God... Trip! (Trip opens the front door.) TRIP George!! TRIP Hey! It's been too long, man! How are you doing, you look great! GEORGE No it hasn't TRIP Uh... (GEORGE hugs trip.) TRIP Well, anyway... why don't you come in... GEORGE Thanks babe TRIP Y -- yeah, come in, heh... TRIP Uh, I'll -- I'll go get Grace... TRIP (unintelligable arguing) GEORGE Oh shit the door is eating me (GEORGE knocks on the front door.) (GEORGE closes the front door.) TRIP (unintelligable arguing) TRIP (unintelligable arguing) -- (interrupted) GEORGE YO FAGGOTS I'M SUCKING A DIC GRACE No, no, here we are! GRACE George, GRACE Hi! How are you? Oh god it's been such a long time! -- (interrupted) GEORGE Wow you fell for it GRACE Aw, H-mmm (happy smile sound) GRACE By the way, you look wonderful! GRACE Well, come on in, make yourself at home! TRIP Oh, George, you've got to take a look at this amazing -- (interrupted) GEORGE tip are you stoned TRIP Well -- um, you'll love this incredible Italy photo! TRIP So, uh, come here, look at this, it's, -- (interrupted) GEORGE No I won't TRIP N -- no, heh, come here! TRIP George, come on, come on, take a look at this picture! -- (interrupted) GEORGE That's Slovakia, dumbass TRIP Oh, yeah, yeah, TRIP George, I have to tell you about our recent trip to Italy! -- (interrupted) (GEORGE picks up a trinket 1.) GRACE Oh, do you like those sculptures? I used to be so into, uh, collecting them... -- (interrupted) GEORGE This is a dildo (GEORGE puts down a trinket 1.) GRACE Oh, God, it's hard to believe I used to like these damn sculptures... TRIP More like obsessed... TRIP But in a good way! GRACE I was not obsessed, I was just... (GEORGE picks up the advice ball.) GRACE (little sigh) I don't know. (The advice ball reads, "Maybe Later") (GEORGE shakes the advice ball.) GRACE Trip, see, your weird obsession for Italy is making our friend uncomfortable. (The advice ball reads, "Yes") TRIP (little sigh) GEORGE trip this says your a fag GEORGE Literally (GEORGE puts down the advice ball.) TRIP uh... GRACE uh...! TRIP geez, I'm not, uh... GRACE uuh...! GEORGE Aight calm down TRIP wha... GRACE ha ha ha ha ha, heh... TRIP heh, ha ha... GRACE ha ha ha ha ha!! TRIP heh, ha ha ha! TRIP Ha ha ha, heh, George, GRACE heh heh... TRIP heh, you had me going there for a sec... GEORGE Whatcha doin there buddy TRIP heh, ha ha... TRIP You're not afraid to say anything, are you? GEORGE nope TRIP mess with us ... TRIP heh heh, you're crazy, you know that? TRIP ha ha... TRIP (big sigh) GEORGE Looking good in this photo Adolf TRIP Anyway, uh... what -- what were we talking about? (GEORGE uses the answering machine.) ANSWERING MACHINE No new messages GRACE Yeah, ha, maybe you can give me your honest opinion about where I went wrong with my new decorating, uhh... TRIP Oh, Grace, no, no, h -- -- (interrupted) GRACE (little sigh) -- (interrupted) GEORGE IT SUCKS DICK TRIP uh... GRACE (nervous coughing) TRIP god, I don't, um... GEORGE Don't look so surprised TRIP (nervous coughing) GRACE uuh...! TRIP heh, ha ha... GRACE ha ha ha ha ha, heh... TRIP heh, ha ha ha! GRACE ha ha ha ha!! TRIP Ha ha ha, George, GRACE heh heh heh... TRIP heh, you had me going there for a sec... GEORGE WELCOME TO AMERICA TRIP heh, ha ha... TRIP You're not afraid to say anything, are you? GEORGE DON'T BACK AWAY FROM ME TRIP mess with us ... TRIP heh heh, you're crazy, you know that? TRIP ha ha... GEORGE I'M GOING TO KILL YOU GEORGE I was joking GEORGE don't eat a bag of shit TRIP uhh... GRACE He... TRIP You... GRACE should we... -- (interrupted) GRACE The -- the thing is, we've really got to... um... GRACE Oh we need to make sure we -- we look at... uh... GEORGE The thing is I'm going to stab you TRIP Right... GRACE that can of preserved fruit or what -- whatever it is... GEORGE What TRIP it needs a new th -- th -- thingamabob... GRACE Uh good idea, yeah, yeah... GRACE (long release sigh) GEORGE THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE GRACE yeah... GEORGE NO GRACE hmmm George, seeing you brings back wonderful memories, really... TRIP Ye -- yeah... GEORGE SEEING YOU DOESN'T TRIP N -- no, no, uh, heh, we've, uh -- we've missed you. GEORGE NOPE TRIP Oh, okay... GEORGE I DIDN'T MISS YUO TRIP Uh, n - n - no, no, tonight is special... TRIP George, remember, it was almost exactly -- (interrupted) GEORGE NO IT ISN't TRIP Uh, no... mmm... uh, remember how you introduced us almost exactly ten years ago tonight? GEORGE No I don't TRIP Uh, well, all I can say is, tonight means a lot to me, and Grace. TRIP (frustrated sigh) -- (interrupted) GEORGE You must've been stoned TRIP Uh, I mean, uh, it's, uh -- it's good to see you again. GRACE So, George, I was going to ask you -- (interrupted) GEORGE You smoking weed trip? PHONE ** RING ** GRACE Oh, I'll get it -- TRIP No, no no no, our friend's here, we can let the answering machine get it. PHONE ** RING ** GEORGE hang on that's my dealer (GEORGE picks up the phone.) TRIP George, no! Don't do that. PHONE Hello? Hello? GEORGE what's poppin PHONE Who is this? Travis, is that you? This is your mother. TRIP Uhh, that's my mother, I can hear her loud voice. GEORGE Yeah thats me PHONE I don't recognize your voice... GRACE Oh! PHONE I -- I think I have the wrong number... ** click ** TRIP Okay, she's confused, as usual... just -- just hang it up. GEORGE I recognize you babe GEORGE Scuse me. This is important TRIP Well, uh, h -- hold on, hold on... (clears throat) GRACE Anyhow, Trip's parents... They're sweet people, really down to earth -- TRIP Uhh, no, they're ignorant, they wouldn't know what a cumberbund from a cucumber. -- (interrupted) GEORGE Yo granny t TRIP Well, no, no, um, my parents aren't worth talking about. GEORGE oh she hung up like an hour ago (Trip shakes the advice ball.) (GEORGE puts down the phone.) TRIP Goddamn, what you are you hinting at? I'm getting really sick of it. GEORGE what GRACE Trip! What are you -- TRIP Look I'll leave you two to keep chatting about love and marriage and all that good shit. GEORGE What GRACE What? Where are you going? GEORGE brb TRIP I'm just going to get something from the kitchen. GRACE (frustrated sigh) GEORGE What the hell are you even doing GRACE Um, Trip, if -- if you have a second, could you -- GEORGE hahaha you have an asschin GRACE could you switch on the french souffle steamer for me? Just... -- (interrupted) TRIP What? Oh... -- (interrupted) TRIP Uh, alright, alright, everything's alright, heh, let's just... let's just go back into the living room... GEORGE Owned hsi ass TRIP Everything's alright... GRACE Yes, I know, everything's fine. GEORGE I'm already here GRACE (happy but tense sigh) GRACE George, -- (interrupted) GEORGE Vicious murder trip TRIP Okay, George, I think this evening is over, you've got to leave. GEORGE NO TRIP I'm sorry, but, uhh, I don't know what the deal is with you tonight. GEORGE NO I NEED THE DILDO (GEORGE picks up the red wine bottle.) (Trip opens the front door.) TRIP We'll be fine -- you should just go. GEORGE GOT YOUR WINE FUCKER (Trip closes the front door.) GEORGE EAT A DICK [/code] Apparently threatening to kill them is less offensive then announcing "Vicious Murder". Interesting.
I managed to break the game by repeating 'CAW' over and over. Trip and Grace are just Sitting there.
So Trip asks what I want to drink and I say "I'll have wine" Trip and Grace proceed to stare at me in absolute horror and Grace goes off into the kitchen upset.
[QUOTE] FACADE STAGEPLAY Sun May 20 14 53 35 2012 GRACE Trip, when are you going to get rid of this? TRIP What, Grace... this? GRACE Yes, you know how I feel about it -- TRIP I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?! GRACE You know I've had to ask you about this several -- TRIP Get off my back! I'll get rid of it in just a minute! SAM stop arguring you fucks GRACE Fine, Trip... fine... (SAM knocks on the front door.) (SAM knocks on the front door.) TRIP Oh, she's here! GRACE What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now! TRIP No, she's right on time! GRACE God... Trip! (Trip opens the front door.) TRIP Sam!! SAM hey dickhead TRIP Hey! It's been too long! -- (interrupted) (SAM hugs trip.) TRIP Yeah, hi! TRIP Wow, it's really really great to see you. TRIP Come on in! TRIP Uh, it'll be just a sec while I go get Grace... (SAM knocks on the front door.) (SAM knocks on the front door.) TRIP (unintelligable arguing) TRIP (unintelligable arguing) SAM what a stupid looking place TRIP (unintelligable arguing) SAM I'm waiting faggots GRACE Sam, GRACE Hi! How are you? Oh god it's been such a long time! -- (interrupted) (SAM hugs grace.) GRACE H-mmm (happy smile sound) GRACE By the way, you look fabulous! -- (interrupted) SAM hmm those nipples TRIP Alright, Sam, that's it, you've got to leave. (Trip opens the front door.) TRIP We'll be fine -- you should just go. SAM i love you grace (Trip closes the front door.) SAM trip you are so gay [/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Blooper Reel;36024205]So Trip asks what I want to drink and I say "I'll have wine" Trip and Grace proceed to stare at me in absolute horror and Grace goes off into the kitchen upset.[/QUOTE] I said Vodka and Gin, and the same thing happened. They just have no taste.
So I decided to set a scenario for myself: [code] FACADE STAGEPLAY Sun May 20 01 40 57 2012 TRIP Where are the new wine glasses? GRACE What for? TRIP That should be obvious! GRACE Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, -- (interrupted) (Tom knocks on the front door.) (Tom knocks on the front door.) TRIP Oh, he's here! (Tom knocks on the front door.) (Tom knocks on the front door.) GRACE What?! You said he's coming an hour from now! (Tom knocks on the front door.) (Tom knocks on the front door.) TRIP No, he's right on time! GRACE Trip...! TOM Help! (Trip opens the front door.) TRIP Tom!! TRIP Ah I'm so happy you could make it! We haven't seen you in so long, how's it going, man? TOM Trip, I need to take a shit! TRIP Uh... TRIP Well, anyway... why don't you come in... -- (interrupted) GRACE No, no, here we are! TOM Where's the bathroom! GRACE Uh... GRACE So, come in, make yourself at home... TOM Help! I'm gonna shit myself! TRIP Uh -- well, um, we should drink. (Trip closes the front door.) TRIP How does a martini sound? TRIP I'm a real expert at fixing these, at least that's what everybody tells me. TOM Drink!? I'll piss myself! TRIP Uh, well, you know what, I'm just going to make you a martini. GRACE Tom, Trip's getting a little carried away... maybe you just want some juice, or a mineral water? TOM NO! I NEED TO SHIT! TRIP Okay! Good! I'll just whip up these bad boys real quick! TOM NOOOOO!! TRIP What? N - no, no, no, drinks coming right up! TRIP Grace, what can I get you to drink tonight? Surprise me. TOM WHY IS THERE NO BATHROOM?! GRACE Um, Just a glass of Chardonnay for me, please. -- (interrupted) TRIP No, I -- I know what you want, Grace. GRACE So, Tom, ha, maybe you can give me your honest opinion about where I went wrong with my new decorating, uhh... GRACE (little sigh) TRIP Oh, Grace, no, no, h -- how can you say that? TOM NO TOILET! TRIP Here's your wine, Grace. GRACE (little sigh) TRIP Ah, see, I knew he would like it! I knew you would like it, everybody does. GRACE (little sigh) -- (interrupted) TOM That's what's wrong! TRIP What? No, I'm good, we're good, everything's good... TRIP (clears throat) TRIP Here we are... hope you like it! GRACE So, about my decorating... -- (interrupted) TOM WHAT YOU DON'T SHIT?! (TOM picks up a player's drink.) GRACE Oh, uh... GRACE (little sigh) So this armoire looked so appealing when I bought it... GRACE but looking at it here in the apartment, it just looks like... ohh... a grotesque piece of furniture! uhh... -- (interrupted) TOM Why did you make me this drink?! TRIP Oh, yeah, you know, I -- I think I'll fix us another drink in not too long... TOM I'm gonna' piss myself! GRACE Ah, thank you, I've been waiting for someone to say that! TRIP But wait, what -- uhh... what are you -- everything's fine...! GRACE Trip, he is just being honest about my decorating, which I really appreciate. TRIP It's just decorating for Christ's sake, why are you turning this into some big -- issue -- GRACE Trip, it's okay, don't worry about it. Decorating is not your thing, that's all. TRIP No, it -- it's definitely not my thing. (frustrated sigh) GRACE (big sigh) -- (interrupted) TOM WHAT GRACE Oh but I really really liked what you said about my decorating... Besides, I'm going to redo it all this week, so... TOM I SAID I NEEDED TO SHIT GRACE Trip, have you noticed, -- (interrupted) GRACE You don't agree? Okay, well... TRIP Grace, come on, that kind of statement is not helpful... GRACE Trip, there's nothing wrong with disagreeing in front of our friend -- -- (interrupted) TRIP We're NOT disagreeing. -- (interrupted) TOM WHERE IS YOUR BATHROOM!? TRIP W -- wait, wait, b - but, no no, w - we're -- we're not disagreeing. (Trip shakes the advice ball.) TRIP Probably true. TRIP Hmm! TOM I CAN'T DO THIS GRACE (little sigh) -- (interrupted) GRACE (happy but tense sigh) GRACE Tom, GRACE you and I are getting along so well tonight... (Grace sips her Grace's drink.) GRACE Stay there for a moment... (Trip sips his Trip's drink.) GRACE I want your opinion. Stay there. -- (interrupted) TOM I CAN FEEL THE SHIT COMING GRACE W -- wait, stay there for a sec. GRACE Ugh, I'm getting so tired of looking at this god awful bar. GRACE Maybe if I replaced it with... um... TRIP Do you... do you remember, Grace... GRACE What. TRIP How I proposed to you. TOM NO! I'M GOING TO SHIT MYSELF GRACE Oh, God, Trip -- TRIP Here, Tom, I'll show you. TRIP It was at Grace's parents' house, Christmas, senior year of college -- GRACE Trip, what are you doing?! TOM DUDE WHAT TRIP I got on one knee, in front of everybody, and -- GRACE Stop it, Trip! TRIP I pulled out a diamond ring -- GRACE Trip! TRIP And I said, Grace, will you marry me? TOM I DON'T CARE, I GOTTA SHIT TRIP Heh, is -- is that romantic or what?! TOM NO! GRACE Thank you! TRIP What? I -- GRACE See, Trip, not everyone thinks being proposed to like that is so romantic. TOM SHITTING IS NOT ROMANTIC! GRACE I don't know where you get your ideas. TRIP Tom, TRIP Grace, come on, what could be more romantic than that? GRACE Tom, I'm sorry, you didn't need to see that -- TOM FOR GOD SAKES! TRIP Grace! GRACE Trip, you're being a real bore tonight, let's just forget about it, okay? TRIP (big frustrated sigh) TOM I NEED A TOILET! GRACE (clears throat) TRIP Tom, I -- I want you to look at this photo from our recent trip to Italy... (Trip sips his Trip's drink.) GRACE (impatient sigh) Trip, maybe our friend would prefer -- TRIP Grace, just because you don't like it, doesn't mean our friend won't... -- (interrupted) TOM NO, I NEED TO FIND A CRAPPER GRACE Oh no, no, go look at Trip's Italy photo... TRIP So, come on, I -- I want you to look at this! -- (interrupted) TOM WHY WON'T YOU HELP ME? TRIP Oh, uh... GRACE How nice of you to say that. Isn't it good to see our friend after so long? (TOM sips his player's drink.) (TOM sips his player's drink.) (TOM sips his player's drink.) (TOM puts down a player's drink.) TRIP (clears throat) TRIP Tom, come on, just take a look at this picture! GRACE (short petulant sigh) GRACE This is your idea of an enjoyable -- (interrupted) TOM THERE I DRANK YOUR DRINK GRACE Trip, you see, your fetish for all things European is making our friend very uncomfortable! TOM NOW I HAVE TO PISS TO! TRIP Goddammit, Grace, this was supposed to be our second honeymoon! GRACE What? Tom, Trip is absolutely exaggerating, it was simply a weekend getaway, that's all. -- (interrupted) TOM NO TOILET MAKES ME UNCOMFY TRIP No, uhh -- see -- I, I -- I just wanted us to spend time together! TOM WHY!!?!? TRIP Oh, I didn't think you cared to hear about our Italy trip... (big sigh) TOM IS THAT YOUR TOILET? TRIP Uhh, you're driving me insane! TOM WHY IS IT LOCKED TRIP Goddamn italy... TRIP I try to reach out to you, I try to be romantic with you, but you're -- (interrupted) GRACE Huh? What, what was that? GRACE (impatient sigh) Tom, I... -- (interrupted) TOM HEEEELP MEEE GRACE Uhh, can you -- can you just... GRACE Every woman's dream... GRACE Trip, you think you're so romantic... but no you're trying to manipulate me! -- (interrupted) TOM NO! I NEED TO SHIT! GRACE What? I -- what are you saying to me? TOM I'M SAYING I NEED TO SHIT TRIP Okay, you know what, Tom, TRIP I need to ask you something. GRACE Trip -- TRIP Grace, let me ask our guest a question. TOM FIRST...TOILET TRIP Tom, yes or no... TRIP If one person in a marriage gives the other advice, and that advice is taken -- years later, can you get blamed for that? -- (interrupted) TOM OH GOD IT'S COMING TRIP What...?! TRIP Oh, yeah, that's fine... that's fine... TOM I'M GOING TO SHIT MY PANTS TRIP Uhh, I keep trying to help you Grace, but you reject me, you cut me off, you cut me out of your life, goddammit! TOM NO! OH GOD! GRACE Oh, I can't believe...! TOM FUCK. GRACE Uhh! Yeah, good, get away from me! GRACE I can't take you anymore! GRACE Oh, God!! TOM Thanks so much, Trip. GRACE What are you saying? What? TRIP What? Are you talking about me in there? GRACE What do you care? TOM I SHAT MY PANTS, GRACE. GRACE Tom, from what you said before, about marriage... I think we've already learned something about Trip. TRIP Oh, we're talking about me again, are we? GRACE What? TOM Fuck your marriage! TRIP Tom, look around this apartment. It's got everything anyone would -- (interrupted) TOM NO! TRIP Okay, Tom, I think this evening is over, you've got to leave. TOM NO! TRIP There's only so much you can expect to put up with, you know? TOM I NEED A CHANGE OF PANTS! (Trip opens the front door.) TRIP We'll be fine -- you just have to go. (Trip closes the front door.) TOM WHY!? COME ON! TOM FUCK YOU. [/code] I'm surprised I lasted as long as I did.
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