Facade - "Fuck you fuck you fuck you" "I think it would be best if you leave"

[Hellborg 65]

I said to Trip, "Grace has enormous melons" and I wasn't kicked out.

[fear me]

Huh, I was starting to think "melon" was an auto-boot word.

[HeavyGuy]

One time they froze on me, I said melon and trip thawed out, shat himself, then booted me out.

[KandyMan]

[QUOTE]FACADE STAGEPLAY
Thu May 24 23 52 04 2012

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

TRIP
What, Grace... this?

ADAM
chews gum

GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it --

TRIP
I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?!

GRACE
You know I've had to ask you about this several --

TRIP
Get off my back! I'll get rid of it in just a minute!

ADAM
chokes on his gum and almost dies

GRACE
Fine, Trip... fine... -- (interrupted)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Uhp, he's here!

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!

GRACE
God... Trip!

ADAM
I CAN HEAR YOU TWO

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Adam!!

TRIP
Ah I'm so happy you could make it! We haven't seen you in so long, how's it going, man?

ADAM
You are no real super Sayan

TRIP
Uh... okay... I'm not sure why you say that...

TRIP
Well anyway... come in, I guess...

ADAM
Nope

TRIP
Uh, it'll be just a sec while I go get Grace... -- (interrupted)

TRIP
W -- w - what... n - no, uh, just stay here...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

ADAM
okay

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

GRACE
Adam,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? God it's been a while!

TRIP
Yeah, it has been a long time.

ADAM
I almost choked on my gm

GRACE
And, I've got -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Uh...

ADAM
It was a terrific experience

GRACE
Uh...

GRACE
So, come in, make yourself at home...

ADAM
So, how are you today?

GRACE
Oh, um, good, we're good. Really good.

ADAM
But there are monsters in there

TRIP
Ah! Adam, I'm being a bad host -- you need a drink. -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Adam, you're not thinking of leaving are you?

ADAM
I don't need a drink

ADAM
I need the dragon balls

TRIP
Jesus, Adam, are you trying to leave again?

ADAM
I'm just standing like you ordered

ADAM
Captain Trip the Bullshitest

TRIP
Look, just come away from the door, it's making us paranoid.

ADAM
hue

ADAM
Look

TRIP
Okay, Adam, I think this evening is over, you've got to leave.

ADAM
You

ADAM
wait what?

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- you should just go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

ADAM
What[/QUOTE]

[JustGman]

[QUOTE=HeavyGuy;36080208]One time they froze on me, I said melon and trip thawed out, shat himself, then booted me out.[/QUOTE]
That same thing happened to me, except Trip never came out of it and just stared at his wedding picture. I tried every foul word in my arsenal but nothing would bring him out of it.

[jeimizu]

I like seeing how many times I can say Melon while Trip is out of the room.

[Dovahkiin]

[QUOTE=KandyMan;36082589][/QUOTE]

Trip clearly hates brazillians.

[Ermac20]

trips a dickwad and grace has emotional problems this game make me laugh so much sometimes

[supertribute]

[video=youtube;aBtkqD_PXa8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBtkqD_PXa8&feature=plcp[/video]

I forgot their subtitles.

[supertribute]

Don't talk about Grace's breasts!

[video=youtube;oyml0FvN8_o]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyml0FvN8_o&feature=g-vrec[/video]

Anyway, next facade session, I'll try not to have tv on.

[Ern]

I tried going in as a Psychic, telling Grace that I know [sp]she made the painting above the couch[/sp], and that Trip [sp]has the fear of being poor[/sp].
Trip can't handle the truth and kicks you out.

[JackAttack]

[img]http://rule34-data-001.paheal.net/_images/6cc904cf01b337da08aeb23c441aad26/460821%20-%20facade%20grace.jpg[/img]

Melons.

[sp]Shamelessly stolen from the r34 thread[/sp]

[Ern]

[QUOTE=jackattack;36088267][img]http://rule34-data-001.paheal.net/_images/6cc904cf01b337da08aeb23c441aad26/460821%20-%20facade%20grace.jpg[/img]

Melons.

[sp]Shamelessly stolen from the r34 thread[/sp][/QUOTE]

Holy fuck, I remember making that.
[sp]It was about 2 years ago and I was bored.[/sp]

[neesu]

[IMG]http://puu.sh/wICG[/IMG]

[FoodStuffs]

so how fun is this game to play when you're high?

[supertribute]

[QUOTE=Ern;36088332]Holy fuck, I remember making that.
[sp]It was about 2 years ago and I was bored.[/sp][/QUOTE]

Paheal?

[roxahris]

[quote]FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sun May 27 19 16 45 2012

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

ADAM
help

ADAM
let me in

ADAM
melon

ADAM
what the fuck guys

ADAM
this isn't funny

ADAM
hello?

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

ADAM
TRIP

ADAM
OTHER PERSON

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

ADAM
LET ME IN

ADAM
WHY ARE YOU JUST

ADAM
STANDING THERE

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

ADAM
well fuck you

(ADAM points to the elevator button.)

(ADAM points to the elevator button.)[/quote]

A++ gameplay
[sp]I could clip through the front door a bit, and all I could see them doing was just standing there[/sp]

[pr00ch]

Alright, I tried a serious play through. I have to agree it was pretty fucking shocking at one point.

[FoodStuffs]

holy fucking shit.

my name is among the names you can pick so i picked it.

i literally shat my pants when he opened the door. i was going in like "im gonna fuck this shit up" then ran away like a little mouse yelling AAAHH THEY KNOW MY NAME!!!

[editline]27th May 2012[/editline]

[quote]
FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sun May 27 03 17 59 2012

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

TRIP
What, Grace... this?

GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it -- -- (interrupted)

(MY REAL NAME knocks on the front door.)

(MY REAL NAME knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
I know I know -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Oh, he's here!

GRACE
What?! You said he's coming an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's right on time!

GRACE
Trip...!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
MY REAL NAME!!

TRIP
Hey! God it's been so long since we've seen you! How are you doing, man?

MY REAL NAME
uh my name is alex now

TRIP
Uh...

TRIP
Well come on in...

TRIP
Uh, let me go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
MY REAL NAME,

(MY REAL NAME knocks on the front door.)

(MY REAL NAME closes the front door.)

GRACE
Hi! How are you? I'm so happy to see you after so long!

TRIP
That's funny, I said the same thing! -- (interrupted)

MY REAL NAME
it's alex now

GRACE
Uh...

GRACE
Well, come in, make yourself at home...

TRIP
Heh heh, MY REAL NAME, seeing you brings back good memories, you -- (interrupted)

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
Oh, I'll get it --

TRIP
No, no no no, our friend's here, we can let the answering machine get it.

(MY REAL NAME sits on the couch.)

(MY REAL NAME gets up from the couch.)

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
Trip, no, I want --

TRIP
Grace, come on, don't be rude.

PHONE
** RING **

(MY REAL NAME picks up a trinket 1.)

GRACE
Oh, do you like those sculptures? I used to be so into, uh, collecting them...

PHONE
** RING **

TRIP
Into them? You love your sculptures so much I'm not even allowed to touch them!

ANSWERING MACHINE
** click **

ANSWERING MACHINE
You've reached the fabulous new home of Grace and Trip. Leave us a message!

GRACE
Trip, your poker buddies used them as ashtrays!

ANSWERING MACHINE
** beep **

ANSWERING MACHINE
Travis, are you there, it's your mother, I haven't heard from you and Grace in a while,

TRIP
Anyhow,

TRIP
MY REAL NAME, -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Oh, God, it's hard to believe I used to like these damn sculptures...

ANSWERING MACHINE
I'm just calling to find out if you've settled in to your new apartment, that's all...

TRIP
More like obsessed...

ANSWERING MACHINE
Give me a call if you're not travelling, I know you're travelling a lot these days.

TRIP
But in a good way!

GRACE
I was not obsessed, I was just...

ANSWERING MACHINE
Okay, that's all, bye Travis.

GRACE
(little sigh) I don't know.

MY REAL NAME
this one kind of looks like...

GRACE
Anyhow, Trip's parents... -- (interrupted)

TRIP
(little sigh) (clears throat)

GRACE
Yeah, I'm hoping you can help me understand where I went wrong with my new decorating, ha ha.

TRIP
Oh, Grace, let's not do that.

MY REAL NAME
well you know

GRACE
Oh, um, well... I want to ask you...

GRACE
(little sigh) You know, I've been collecting these little glass sculptures for a long time now.

TRIP
Everybody always comments on Grace's sculptures.

MY REAL NAME
uh

GRACE
Oh, well...

GRACE
(little sigh) So I've been collecting these sculptures...

GRACE
but now when I look at them, they give me a such a... -- (interrupted)

MY REAL NAME
look at it

TRIP
Well, it's impressive... even after a full day's work designing magazine ads, Grace somehow finds time to decorate...

MY REAL NAME
it's long

TRIP
See, I told you he would like it! There's nothing wrong with it.

GRACE
(little sigh)

GRACE
I'm sure I can return most of this, and try to start over again on this room...

MY REAL NAME
and has a head

TRIP
See Grace, no one is complaining about your decorating, there's nothing wrong with it!

GRACE
Trip, I can't explain -- (interrupted)

MY REAL NAME
and a shaft

TRIP
MY REAL NAME, uhh, Grace, nothing's wrong, everything's fine!

MY REAL NAME
IT LOOKS LIKE A PENIS

(MY REAL NAME puts down a trinket 1.)

GRACE
Okay, you know what, I really don't want to talk about this anymore.

GRACE
I'll be right back.

TRIP
Grace, what are you --

GRACE
No you two keep talking about our amazing apartment and redecorating and furniture all night long, that's fine...

TRIP
What? Where are you going?

GRACE
I'll just be in the kitchen.

MY REAL NAME
dude it looks like a dick

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

TRIP
Um, uh, Grace, sw - sweetie pie, could you --

TRIP
could you bring out s - some of those... those... truffle oil vinaigrette... shiitake mushroom... uhh... flying fish egg...

TRIP
thingies... on those fancy crackers? You know, from our last party... honey?

TRIP
Grace makes the most amazing hors doeurves, heh... uh... As good as her mom used to make.

MY REAL NAME
does she make hot dogs

TRIP
Um... well... uh....

TRIP
Gr -- Grace, honey, did you find the crackers?

MY REAL NAME
big juicy long

GRACE
What?

MY REAL NAME
sausage

TRIP
Yeah, well, I wish we -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Uhh, Jesus, why are we all having this... misunderstanding... tonight... uhh...

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

MY REAL NAME
THERES NO MISUNDERSTANDING

TRIP
We're fine, you know, we -- we're fine, this -- this is just...

MY REAL NAME
THE SCULPTURE LOOKS LIKE A

TRIP
Oh, uh, Grace has been kind of stressed out lately, with work, and, and, -- (interrupted)

MY REAL NAME
PENIS

TRIP
You know what, MY REAL NAME, that's it, you need to leave.

TRIP
I'm sorry, but, uhh, I don't know what the deal is with you tonight.

MY REAL NAME
fuck you man

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- just go.

(Trip closes the front door.)
[/quote]

[editline]27th May 2012[/editline]

[editline]27th May 2012[/editline]

okay so i did a second playthrough but referencing to the rainbow dick and describing it as such

then asking where the bathroom is

they actually caught on and i kept running it into the ground.

they called me crazy.

first playthrough i totally fucked up the system.
second playthrough they get one thing very right about me. and actually recognized i wanted to sodomize myself with a dick sculpture. i'm impressed.

[editline]27th May 2012[/editline]

what's the strategy to get them drunk? i bet you can.

[HeavyGuy]

[QUOTE]FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sun May 27 11 54 33 2012

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

TRIP
What, Grace... this?

(Kha knocks on the front door.)

(Kha knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
Yes, you -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Oh, he's here!

GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!

(Kha knocks on the front door.)

(Kha knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
No, he's right on time!

GRACE
God... Trip!

KHA
open the door you fuckers

(KHA knocks on the front door.)

(KHA knocks on the front door.)

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Kha!!

TRIP
Hey! God it's been so long since we've seen you! How are you doing, man?

KHA
No it hasn't

TRIP
Uh...

TRIP
Well anyway... come in, I guess... -- (interrupted)

KHA
I saw you yesterday nerd

TRIP
N -- n - no, uh, come in...

(KHA hugs trip.)

TRIP
Uh, it'll be just a sec while I go get Grace...

KHA
akgfpaoh

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

(KHA knocks on the front door.)

(KHA closes the front door.)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

KHA
360 noscope door close

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing) -- (interrupted)

KHA
Oi faggots get out here

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

KHA
woah

GRACE
Kha,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh god it's been such a long time! -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Oh, ha ha ha!

GRACE
By the way, you look wonderful!

GRACE
So come on in, make yourself -- (interrupted)

KHA
You don't

GRACE
Uh...

TRIP
I'm gonna fix us some drinks.

TRIP
Ah, you need to help me break in my expensive new set of cocktail making accessories.

KHA
I'll break in a slap to your face

TRIP
So, what's your poison?

TRIP
Let's have something fun,

TRIP
like a cosmopolitan?

TRIP
Uh, well, you know what, I'm just going to make you a cosmopolitan.

GRACE
No no,

KHA
No you aren't

GRACE
Kha, how about something simple, like a nice glass of chardonnay?

TRIP
Okay! Good! I'll just whip up these bad boys real quick!

KHA
You're going to make me wine

TRIP
Oh, yeah, you know, I think I'll fix -- (interrupted)

KHA
woah fuck you mate

TRIP
uh... uh, heh heh...

GRACE
uh...

TRIP
you, uh...

TRIP
that's, um...

KHA
I didn't ask for a cosmodickfuck

GRACE
wha...

TRIP
ha ha...

(KHA picks up the advice ball.)

GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha, heh...

TRIP
heh, ha ha ha!

(The advice ball reads, "I Doubt It")

GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha!!

TRIP
Ha ha ha, heh, Kha, -- (interrupted)

KHA
Is trip ever going to get laid

(KHA shakes the advice ball.)

(The advice ball reads, "No")

KHA
Trip you are screwed buddy

(KHA puts down the advice ball.)

TRIP
that's... uh...

TRIP
That's really...

KHA
Gay

GRACE
should we...

TRIP
Before we forget... um...

(KHA picks up a trinket 1.)

TRIP
We need to call the...

GRACE
Right, yeah...

TRIP
that lady who, uh, brings us fresh herbs...

GRACE
figure out how we're going to carry all that...

TRIP
Oh, yeah, yeah...!

TRIP
(long release sigh)

KHA
Woah that's illegal

TRIP
yeah...

(KHA puts down a trinket 1.)

GRACE
Kha, seeing you again makes me remember the wonderful times we all used to have. -- (interrupted)

PHONE
** RING **

TRIP
Oh, I'll get it --

GRACE
No, no, we have a guest, we can let the answering machine pick it up.

KHA
seeing you makes me cry

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
What? Oh, God, can we just -- let's just wait for the answering machine...! -- (interrupted)

(KHA picks up the phone.)

PHONE
** RING **

PHONE
Grace? Hello?

GRACE
Kha, no! Please don't do that.

KHA
Yo

PHONE
Who is this? Grace is that you?

GRACE
Uhh, it's my dad, I can hear his voice.

PHONE
I don't recognize your voice...

KHA
This is the Slovenian president

TRIP
Oh!

PHONE
Excuse me, I must have the wrong number... ** click **

GRACE
Okay, he's being annoying, as usual... just -- just hang it up. -- (interrupted)

KHA
Yeah you bet

(KHA puts down the phone.)

GRACE
Oh, good, you hung up. I can call him back later, or in a few days, heh.

TRIP
I wanted to say hello --

GRACE
No no, Trip, we're entertaining a friend in our new apartment...

GRACE
the last thing I want to do is talk to my parents.

KHA
Ungrateful cow he raised you

TRIP
Oh, that brass bull, that's a gift from my business contact in Barcelona --

GRACE
What is that doing out here? Didn't I ask you to put that away?

KHA
Its ugly

TRIP
What...? Kha, I --

GRACE
Trip, that was just a well-intentioned little poke in the ribs between friends. That's all.

KHA
No I meant it

GRACE
Dammit, Trip, you know I can't stand the sight of that goddamn bull, I want it out of --

TRIP
Jesus, Grace, it was a gift, and an expensive one at that!

GRACE
I don't want anything from Barcelona in this apartment...

KHA
WOAH

GRACE
Yeah, yeah!

TRIP
Well, Grace's parents... -- (interrupted)

KHA
GRACE YOU RACIST

GRACE
W -- well, no, talking about my parents is just going to frustrate me.

TRIP
Okay, well, you and I are getting along better tonight than I first thought, heh heh!

KHA
NO WHY DO YOU HATE SPAIN

TRIP
Oh yeah, Kha, I thought you might like this photo I just put up from our recent trip to Italy. -- (interrupted)

KHA
NO I WON't

TRIP
N -- no, no, come look at this Italy photo!

TRIP
Kha, Come take look at -- (interrupted)

KHA
Okay first off

TRIP
Y -- yeah, come here!

TRIP
Kha, Come on, you'll like this, check it out!

GRACE
Yes, go, go, check it out! -- (interrupted)

KHA
That's San Marino

TRIP
(little sigh) (clears throat)

GRACE
Kha, I'm sorry. -- (interrupted)

KHA
and you're an idiot

TRIP
Kha, what's the deal?

GRACE
Trip, he's just kidding around --

TRIP
You know, we didn't invite you over to be... criticized... -- (interrupted)

KHA
You look like you died and revived

TRIP
(little sigh) You know, uh, -- (interrupted)

KHA
but didn't heal

GRACE
N -- no, no, it was just a weekend getaway.

TRIP
uhh... -- (interrupted)

KHA
WHO CARES

TRIP
God, where is this coming from?!

GRACE
Trip --

TRIP
Well, I'm not going to stand here and listen to this.

GRACE
Where are you going? Trip --

TRIP
Just stay with our guest. I'll be in the kitchen.

KHA
aw yeah baby we alone

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

KHA
fine ass girl

GRACE
Um, Trip, if -- if it's at all convenient, could you --

(KHA hugs grace.)

GRACE
could you brush some truffle butter on the crostini? -- (interrupted)

KHA
aw yeah

GRACE
Oh... -- (interrupted)

KHA
I'll brush my truffle butter on you

GRACE
Yeah... sometimes I feel everything these days is just one damn miscommunication after another... -- (interrupted)

(KHA hugs grace.)

GRACE
It's not like this kind of thing... -- (interrupted)

KHA
lmao

GRACE
You know, if he'd just ask me what I really feel, then... but that's not what we talk about.

KHA
then do it

TRIP
Grace!

GRACE
Yes, Trip?

KHA
SHUT UP IN THERe

(KHA kisses grace.)

[About here Grace went from "Oh Kha ooooh" to "KHA YOU FUCKER"

GRACE
Kha, what the hell is going on with you tonight?

TRIP
Hey, what's going on in there?

KHA
I HAVE AIDS

GRACE
I just don't understand where this is coming from!

KHA
YOUR MOM

TRIP
Okay, Kha, I think this evening is over, you've got to leave.

KHA
AW FUCK

KHA
LET GO OF ME BITCH

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- you just have to go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

KHA
IM BREAKING IN

(KHA knocks on the front door.)

(KHA knocks on the front door.)[/QUOTE]
Kha, Slovenian President who knows all about San Marino, and Grace hates the Spanish.
Also holy shit they actually got angry and kicked me out I didn't know that could happen.

[Hyzo]

So I start up Facade and I start playing deciding to go as a vampire and when I get inside I have to run and get pizza IRL because it just arrived and when I get back I see trip pulling me out of the apartment.

[quote]
FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sun May 27 17 11 44 2012

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

TRIP
What, Grace... this?

GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it --

TRIP
I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?!

GRACE
You know I've had to ask you about this several -- -- (interrupted)

(Will knocks on the front door.)

(Will knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Get off my -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Uhp, he's here!

GRACE
What?! You said he's coming an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!

GRACE
Trip...!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Will!!

TRIP
Ah I'm so happy you could make it! We haven't seen you in so long, how's it going, man?

WILL
You know, surviving.

TRIP
Uh...

TRIP
Well come on in...

TRIP
Uh, it'll be just a sec while I go get Grace...

WILL
Thanks for iviting me in.

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

WILL
Mortal.

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

(WILL knocks on the front door.)

(WILL closes the front door.)

(WILL picks up the advice ball.)

(The advice ball reads, "I Doubt It")

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

(WILL puts down the advice ball.)

(WILL picks up a martini glass 1.)

(WILL puts down a martini glass 1.)

GRACE
Will,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? I'm so happy to see you after so long!

TRIP
Yeah, yeah, how are you doing?

GRACE
Uh, I just asked him that...

TRIP
I can ask too!

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

GRACE
Well, make yourself at home, come on in!

GRACE
Well, come in, make yourself at home...

TRIP
Will, let me get you a drink.

TRIP
Ah, you need to help me break in my expensive new set of cocktail making accessories.

TRIP
How about something fun,

TRIP
like sangria?

TRIP
Everybody tells me I fix the best drinks, so I'm sure you're gonna love this.

GRACE
Oh God, Trip, please... let's not go overboard with the drink preparation.

TRIP
Uh, well, I'm just going to make us all some nice sangria.

GRACE
No no,

GRACE
Will, maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water?

TRIP
but... uhh...

TRIP
You know I'm just going to open a bottle of merlot or something,

GRACE
Yes, you don't need to push the fancy drinks tonight.

TRIP
Grace, I assume you want your usual... 'a lovely, very cold glass of Chardonnay'.

GRACE
Well, actually, I would like a glass of Chardonnay.

TRIP
Of course.

TRIP
Heh heh, Will, seeing you brings back good memories, you know?

GRACE
Yes, it does. H-mmm (happy smile sound)

TRIP
Hey, I just realized something.

GRACE
What...

TRIP
We have to celebrate! Tonight's a special night!

GRACE
What do you mean?

TRIP
Here's your wine, Grace.

GRACE
(little sigh)

TRIP
So, yeah, I just realized!

TRIP
Will, remember, it was almost exactly ten years ago, tonight, that you introduced us.

TRIP
Senior year of college!

GRACE
Oh... geez...

TRIP
Remember that?

TRIP
Here you go.

TRIP
So, ten years ago... that's -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Oh, yeah, you know, I think I'll fix you a real drink in not too long...

TRIP
You know what I'm just going to put this on the bar for you.

TRIP
Um, well, without you, we wouldn't even have this celebration.

TRIP
Yeah, that's a new photo from our trip to Italy a couple of weeks ago...

GRACE
(little sigh)

(Grace sips her Grace's drink.)

GRACE
Will, come over here and sit on the couch with me.

TRIP
No, hold on. Now, Will, what does this picture make you think of?

GRACE
Oh, Trip, don't put our friend on the spot like that...

TRIP
In a word, what does this say to you?

GRACE
Oh, god... Will, come over here, make yourself comfortable.

TRIP
Come on, what does this say to you?

GRACE
How about pointless.

TRIP
Grace, please. Will, Just one word for this.

TRIP
Romance! It says... romance...!

GRACE
(little sigh)

TRIP
Actually I took this picture on my own... Grace was too tired to leave the hotel room...

TRIP
Jet lag, I guess... (little sigh)

GRACE
Huh, you two really are getting along well tonight, heh...

TRIP
(little sigh)

TRIP
Ah, Will, I'm sorry, you didn't come here to hear this...

GRACE
What?

GRACE
Trip, there's nothing wrong with disagreeing in front of our friend --

TRIP
Disagreeing?! We're NOT disagreeing.

TRIP
We're not.

GRACE
You know, ever since we got married, Trip is forever trying to get me to buy new furniture, -- (interrupted)

GRACE
So I normally like redecorating...

GRACE
But, Will, you have to look at this room, and admit it looks terrible.

TRIP
Grace --

GRACE
I mean, look around, this room is... it's hideous!

TRIP
Grace, no, no, don't say that!

GRACE
You know at work I waste all day designing ads for stylish objects, like these paintings,

GRACE
and then it makes me think, I want to design them into my apartment...

TRIP
Grace was the highest bidder at an auction for this.

GRACE
but... dammit, no, I'm wrong, these look completely amateurish and tacky!

TRIP
Not coming together... what?

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

TRIP
Grace, everything's fine! No one is complaining about your decorating --

GRACE
No, decorating is just --

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

GRACE
There must be some way I could --

TRIP
Will, you've not said a single word for a while now... Are you alright?

TRIP
What's the deal, are you okay?

TRIP
Say something.

TRIP
Alright, Will, that's it, you've got to leave.

TRIP
I'm sorry, but, uhh, I don't know what the deal is with you tonight.

(Trip opens the front door.)

(Trip closes the front door.)
[/quote]

[HeavyGuy]

[QUOTE]
GRACE
No, no, we have a guest, we can let the answering machine pick it up. -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
Mine

(GONZALO picks up the phone.)

PHONE
Grace? Hello?

GRACE
Gonzalo, no! Please don't do that.

PHONE
Who is this? Grace is that you?

GRACE
Uhh, it's my dad, I can hear his voice.

GONZALO
THIS IS THE SLOVAKIAN ARMY

PHONE
I don't recognize your voice...

TRIP
Oh!

PHONE
Excuse me, I must have the wrong number... ** click **

GRACE
Okay, he's being annoying, as usual... just -- just hang it up. -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
Okay bye

(GONZALO puts down the phone.)

GRACE
Oh, good, you hung up. I can call him back later, or in a few days, heh.

GONZALO
It was the leader of Liechtenstein

GRACE
What? Wait, wait, let's just wait for the answering machine...

GONZALO
He wanted to take Slovakia

GRACE
Well hold on, hold on... (clears throat)

TRIP
Well, Grace's parents... They're something else, really classy people --

(GONZALO uses the answering machine.)

ANSWERING MACHINE
No new messages

GRACE
Uhh, no, they're impossible, they expect me to drive up to the house in Connecticut to attend all their stupid socialite charity benefits and parties, it's so tiresome.

(GONZALO picks up the advice ball.)

GONZALO
Do i need a shower

(The advice ball reads, "No")

GRACE
No no, you've, you've done quite enough with my parents tonight, let's not talk about them anymore...

(GONZALO puts down the advice ball.)

GRACE
(clears throat)

TRIP
Oh, yeah, let me fix us all some drinks in a sec!

GONZALO
Shower doesn't mean parents

TRIP
Yeah, yeah.

GONZALO
what

TRIP
So! Drinks!

TRIP
What would you like?

TRIP
How does a martini sound?

TRIP
Yeah, hang on, ooh, I'm going to make you one of my fabulous drinks in just a minute! -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
I want vermont

TRIP
Uh, well, you know what, I'm just going to make you a martini.

GRACE
No no,

GRACE
Gonzalo, maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water?

TRIP
What...?

GONZALO
I wanted a merlot

GRACE
Okay, good!

TRIP
Okay, okay...

TRIP
(little sigh) Excuse me for wanting to enjoy ourselves...

GONZALO
I would high five you if i could

TRIP
Grace, maybe at least you'll drink with me? I'll make us something -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Well, I was just going to ask Grace what she wants.

GRACE
I'm not in the mood to drink tonight.

GRACE
I just want a little sparkling water.

TRIP
Alright...

GONZALO
you look stoned

(GONZALO picks up the advice ball.)

GRACE
(big sigh)

(The advice ball reads, "Never")

GRACE
Oh God, Gonzalo, this isn't much fun for you, is it?

(GONZALO puts down the advice ball.)

(GONZALO picks up a Grace's drink.)

(GONZALO sips his Grace's drink.)

TRIP
What?

(GONZALO puts down a Grace's drink.)

TRIP
Here you are Grace, your drink is ready.

GRACE
Thanks.

TRIP
Anyway...

TRIP
Grace, come on, it's not helping things for you to say that...

GRACE
Trip, there's nothing wrong with disagreeing in front of our friend --

TRIP
We're NOT disagreeing.

TRIP
We're -- we're -- we're not disagreeing.

TRIP
(frustrated sigh) Sheejus. -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
oi calm down

GRACE
What? No, we're fine, everything's fine...

GONZALO
am i going to get my merlot

GRACE
(clears throat) -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
are you ok

GRACE
Okay, okay, this is getting really tiresome...!

GRACE
You know what, I'll be right back.

TRIP
Grace, what are you --

GRACE
No you two keep talking about the bar and drinks and the amazing view and everything...

TRIP
What? Where are you going?

GRACE
I'll just be in the kitchen.

GONZALO
I think she just pooped herself

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

GONZALO
can you give me my merlot

TRIP
Um, Grace, darling, could you --

TRIP
could you bring out s - some of those... those... white truffle oil... -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
No wait

GONZALO
Truffle oil

TRIP
Uhh, Jesus, why are we all having this... misunderstanding... tonight... uhh... -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Look, don't pay any attention to this... this... it's nothing... uhh...

GONZALO
Alright then

TRIP
Heh, we've been a little stressed out lately, with our -- with our new work project, and Grace's redecorating, and all the parties, ugh... -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
I can tell

GRACE
Trip?

TRIP
Yes?

GRACE
Trip?

TRIP
What?

GRACE
Trip, are you there?

TRIP
Yes, what?

TRIP
uhh...

GONZALO
Sounds like she hurt herself

TRIP
Hey -- hey, uh... Gonzalo,

TRIP
I meant to tell you, we're going to have this big, big party next weekend.

TRIP
Do you -- do you think you can make it?

GRACE
So, what have you two been talking about in here?! -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
gonzalo would like to party

TRIP
Oh! uh, heh heh, -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Oh, yeah, you know, I think I'll fix you a real drink in not too long...

GONZALO
She's invisible

GRACE
You know, ever since we got married, -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
Woah hi

TRIP
Ah, yeah, Gonzalo, I knew you'd like it.

TRIP
See Grace you don't realize how good this all looks -- and, and how good you look!

GONZALO
no the decorating is terrible

TRIP
No no, no no, see, Grace loves expensive furniture, she...

TRIP
grew up in this really nice house, with really nice couches and fancy dishes, and, and she can't live without this stuff.

GONZALO
Grace do you like this furniture

GRACE
Yeah I just had to have this damn style...

GONZALO
The sofa is awesome

GRACE
Uh, no, this room is a complete mess, isn't it?

GRACE
(frustrated sigh) -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
Yeah

GRACE
Ah, what a nice surprise, an honest answer!

TRIP
Gonzalo, Wait! Grace, I don't know where you're getting this -- -- (interrupted)

GRACE
You know, Trip, do you realize that if you hadn't convinced me to go into advertising, I could have painted that painting on the wall instead of buying it!

GONZALO
WOAH CALM DOWN

TRIP
(short petulant sigh)

TRIP
Oh, yeah, we've seen how your artist friends live, as if you could survive that kind of lifestyle! Give me a break!

GONZALO
Oh my god shtu up

GRACE
Anyhow, Gonzalo, -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
thank you

GRACE
Hey, no, you're being honest.

TRIP
(little impatient sigh) -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Gonzalo, I -- I want you to look at this photo from our recent trip to Italy...

(Grace sips her Grace's drink.)

GRACE
(impatient sigh) Trip, maybe our friend would prefer --

(Trip sips his player's drink.)

(Trip sips his Trip's drink.)

TRIP
Grace, just because you don't like it, doesn't mean our friend won't...

TRIP
So, come on, I -- I want you to look at this!

GRACE
(annoyed sigh)

GRACE
Why did I allow you to put that up...

GONZALO
That is a picture of Brunei

TRIP
Oh, yeah, yeah, uh,

TRIP
Gonzalo, I have to tell you -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
That is not Italy

TRIP
Yeah, yeah, I've got to tell you about Italy!

GRACE
Trip we don't want to depress our guest.

TRIP
Dammit Grace, would it kill you to be positive for -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
Italy smells

TRIP
Gonzalo, quit it, just drop the whole goddamn Italy thing already. -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
JK I love italy

TRIP
Oh, uh...

GRACE
How nice of you to say that. Isn't it good to see our friend after so long? -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
but that picture sucks

GRACE
What...? (annoyed sigh)

TRIP
Gonzalo, come on, just take a look at this picture!

GONZALO
NO

GRACE
This is your idea -- (interrupted)

TRIP
N -- no, no, uh, come take a look!

GRACE
Trip, you see, your fetish for all things European is making our friend very uncomfortable!

GONZALO
I DO NOT WANT TO

TRIP
Goddammit, Grace, this was supposed to be our second honeymoon!

GRACE
What? Gonzalo, Trip is absolutely exaggerating, it was simply a weekend getaway, that's -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
CAN I HAVE MY MERLOT

TRIP
Jesus, I -- (interrupted)

GRACE
All those business trips of yours to Europe must have done something to you.

GONZALO
JESUS I CAME HERE FOR DRINK

TRIP
Uhh, you're driving me insane!

GRACE
Ahh, no, I'm the one going insane!

GONZALO
AND YOU WON'T RELEASE IT

GRACE
Goddamn second honeymoon...

(GONZALO picks up the red wine bottle.)

GRACE
Trip, our whole marriage, you're so... controlling! -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Are -- what, w - what -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
OKAY I GOT A HOSTAGE

TRIP
What? What -- what are you saying to me? What?

TRIP
(little impatient sigh) -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
YOUR WINE IS NOW HOSTAGE

TRIP
Gonzalo, wait, I can't fix you a drink right now!

TRIP
Goddamn italy picture...

TRIP
I try to reach out to you, I try to be romantic -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
ITS IN YOUR HAND

GRACE
Okay, yeah, I hear you, alright?

GRACE
Goddamn second honeymoon...

(GONZALO puts down the red wine bottle.)

GRACE
You never... call me when you're on your business trips! You never call me, you know that?

TRIP
Oh, come on...!

GRACE
Okay, you know what, Gonzalo,

GONZALO
Trip what are you doing on trips

GRACE
I need to ask you something.

TRIP
Grace --

GRACE
Trip, let me ask our guest a question.

GONZALO
Shoot mofo

GRACE
Gonzalo, yes or no...

GRACE
When you get married, you're just supposed to forgive and forget everything bad that happened before that, right?

TRIP
What...?!

GONZALO
no

TRIP
Oh, yeah, that's fine... that's fine...

TRIP
Uhh, look, it's obvious we're not happy, Grace! I'm not happy, you're not happy, and no matter how much I try, I can't make us happy! I don't know what to do, goddammit!

GRACE
Oh, don't even...!

GRACE
Uhh! Yeah, good, get away from me!

GONZALO
Between you and me

GRACE
I can't take you anymore!

GRACE
Dammit, Trip!

GONZALO
He should kill himself

GRACE
Wait, what, are you trying to explain this to me?

TRIP
Grace, what the hell are you saying about me in there?

GONZALO
no

GRACE
I'm not talking to you!

GRACE
Gonzalo, we're not normally like this, I don't know what's going on...

(GONZALO knocks on the front door.)

(GONZALO opens the front door.)

GONZALO
I find that hard to believe

TRIP
Gonzalo, in what you said before, about being in sync... I think that shows us something about Grace.

GRACE
Oh, we're talking about me, are we?

TRIP
What?

GONZALO
I said nothing about sync

TRIP
Gonzalo, look around this apartment. It's got everything anyone would ever want. But, Grace, oh no, she's never satisfied. -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
Its crap

TRIP
No?

GRACE
Ah, thank you, that helps him. Trip, look at my parents. If money bought happiness they wouldn't hate themselves like they do.

GONZALO
I love taht sofa though

TRIP
What? -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Look around here. We're doing well, really well.

GRACE
God, Trip, I can't believe even now you're still...

TRIP
Oh yeah, you'd never admit that I've created a good life for us.

GONZALO
YES I GET MY MERLOT

(GONZALO picks up a player's drink.)

TRIP
Gonzalo, does it look like I want to fix you drinks right now?

GONZALO
YEs

(GONZALO sips his player's drink.)

(GONZALO sips his player's drink.)

GRACE
Let's talk some more about Trip.

(GONZALO sips his player's drink.)

GRACE
Gonzalo, you -- you blame me for all this, don't you?

GONZALO
OM NOM NOM

(GONZALO sips his player's drink.)

(GONZALO sips his player's drink.)

GONZALO
no

(GONZALO sips his player's drink.)

TRIP
See, I don't think you really want to be an artist. -- (interrupted)

(GONZALO sips his player's drink.)

TRIP
No?

GRACE
Oh, thank God you disagree, that might help him understand! Trip you only say that because you so badly don't want me to be an artist!

(GONZALO puts down a player's drink.)

(GONZALO picks up a Grace's drink.)

(GONZALO sips his Grace's drink.)

(GONZALO sips his Grace's drink.)

(GONZALO sips his Grace's drink.)

(GONZALO sips his Grace's drink.)

(GONZALO sips his Grace's drink.)

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

(GONZALO sips his Grace's drink.)

(GONZALO sips his Grace's drink.)

GRACE
Uhh...

(GONZALO sips his Grace's drink.)

(GONZALO puts down a Grace's drink.)

(GONZALO picks up the red wine bottle.)

GRACE
Trip, it's your fault -- ten years ago, freshly married and just out of college, -- (interrupted)

(GONZALO puts down the red wine bottle.)

(GONZALO picks up a Trip's drink.)

(GONZALO sips his Trip's drink.)

GRACE
God, Gonzalo, can we just stop talking about Trip's stuff, please? (frustrated sigh)

(GONZALO sips his Trip's drink.)

(GONZALO sips his Trip's drink.)

(GONZALO sips his Trip's drink.)

GONZALO
what

(GONZALO sips his Trip's drink.)

(GONZALO sips his Trip's drink.)

(GONZALO sips his Trip's drink.)

(GONZALO sips his Trip's drink.)

(GONZALO sips his Trip's drink.)

TRIP
No we need -- we need to talk about us both, not just one.

(GONZALO puts down a Trip's drink.)

GONZALO
Stop arguing is one bit

GRACE
Ah!

TRIP
Gonzalo, you're saying I'm... angry?

TRIP
It's so annoying... you know lately I've been really trying -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
Yeah

TRIP
Yes?

GRACE
Trip, that's not going to solve anything... -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
basically, u mad

GRACE
Look, you're going to really make it bad if you keep criticizing me!

GRACE
What... I just...

GONZALO
I'm not criticizing you

GRACE
No let's -- let's focus on us, our relationship.

GRACE
Trip, can't you see, it's the way you speak, the way you talk to me...!

TRIP
What, I'm not allowed to be angry?

GRACE
You tell me what to do, you don't listen.

TRIP
Gonzalo, I'm not telling her what to do, I'm trying to help her!

GONZALO
I don't know

TRIP
See, I'm the one trying to reach out to you, Grace...

GRACE
Uhh...

TRIP
Gonzalo, if there's something about me, just tell me what it is!

TRIP
Let's talk some more about us both.

TRIP
You know, I can't say Grace never acts loving towards me... -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
I think your hiding something trip

GRACE
Ah!

TRIP
Uhh, Gonzalo, I knew you'd say I was afraid of something... God...

TRIP
What, I'm -- I'm afraid that, what... she doesn't trust me or something? Heh...

GONZALO
No, you're afraid of being poor

TRIP
Yes?

GRACE
Ah, you agree, see, that might really help him...

TRIP
O -- okay, okay... y -- well, you know, well, you're saying Grace doesn't trust me... uhh... okay...

TRIP
Uhh...

GONZALO
Don't worry guys this can work ou

GRACE
Why?

TRIP
Uhh, you... uhh... does anyone... uhh -- uhh...

GONZALO
Calm down

TRIP
No?

TRIP
No, leave me alone for a second, alright?

GONZALO
Okay sorry

TRIP
Okay, that's it, no more of this bullshit!!

TRIP
Gonzalo, I know what you're trying to hint at...

TRIP
about me...

GONZALO
What

TRIP
about our marriage...

TRIP
No, Gonzalo, hold on, hold on, let me speak!

TRIP
Do you two want the truth? Huh?

TRIP
Gonzalo, are you ready to hear it?

GONZALO
Yeah buddy

TRIP
Grace, huh?

GRACE
Yes...!

TRIP
See, Gonzalo, I've been paying attention to what you've been saying tonight.

GONZALO
is that so

TRIP
You've really been pushing me tonight.

GONZALO
Um no

TRIP
And I wonder, are you really my friend or not.

GONZALO
no

GRACE
Trip!

TRIP
Gonzalo, Quit interrupting me, let me finish!

GONZALO
No

TRIP
criticizing Grace...

TRIP
praising Grace...

TRIP
telling me I'm afraid...

TRIP
telling me I'm angry...

TRIP
No, Gonzalo, let me finish!

TRIP
Gonzalo, I ask you this -- yes or no...

TRIP
Do you really think that...

TRIP
but especially what you said about being in sync with each other in a marriage...

TRIP
that all that is supposed to help me understand something about myself?

GONZALO
Yes

TRIP
Is what you've said tonight supposed to add up somehow, to something?

GONZALO
Yes

TRIP
Is it? Just give me a yes or no.

GONZALO
YES

GONZALO
yes

TRIP
This is not a trick question.

GONZALO
yes

TRIP
No? Huh... I'm surprised you say that, I thought it did.

GONZALO
I SAID YES

TRIP
Grace...

TRIP
uhh...

TRIP
I've been having an affair.

GRACE
Oh my God.

GONZALO
OH SNAP

TRIP
It's over now, though.

GRACE
But how could you --

TRIP
(big sigh) with the client, in, uh, Barcelona.

GONZALO
then you can recover it

GRACE
Maria.

TRIP
I was lonely, Grace.

GONZALO
did she have nice melons

TRIP
But, but, I -- I regret it, I really, really regret it.

TRIP
uhh...

GRACE
uhh...

GONZALO
Then you can get together again

GRACE
Oh my God...!

TRIP
Gonzalo, I --

GONZALO
This can work guys

GRACE
I'm going to give you the truth too, Trip.

TRIP
What?!

GRACE
Trip, I --

GRACE
I let you stop me from being an artist.

TRIP
You let me --

GRACE
I was afraid, Trip okay?

GRACE
I -- I admit it.

GRACE
I didn't know if -- if I could do it, be a real artist...

GRACE
And I've been using you as an excuse for why I didn't do it.

GRACE
uhh...

GONZALO
You need to talk

TRIP
uhh...

TRIP
Jesus...!

GONZALO
I'll go, I'll let you talk it over

TRIP
Gonzalo, I, uhh...

GRACE
This changes everything...

TRIP
Yes, it does change everything.

GONZALO
You can work this out now

TRIP
I think it's over.

GRACE
Trip, what --

TRIP
No!!

TRIP
It's over, Grace, don't you see that?

GONZALO
shit i can't get out

GRACE
Wha... I just told you --

TRIP
You just told me something about us you should have said a long time ago:

TRIP
You've been using me as an excuse to not be an artist...

GONZALO
YOU CAN'T ESCAPE NOW

TRIP
And no, Gonzalo, please...

(GONZALO knocks on the front door.)

GONZALO
FUCKING SHTUI UP

TRIP
And about me...

TRIP
I cheated on you. I betrayed you.

TRIP
And no, Gonzalo, enough!

GONZALO
THEN TALK RETARDS

GRACE
Trip, I --

GONZALO
FUCKING CALM YOUR SHIT DICK

TRIP
No, Grace, this about me, and it's about us, but it's not about you...

(GONZALO knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
Not about me...? Hey, no, wait!

TRIP
Gonzalo, I'm sorry. You really helped me though, so, thanks.

GONZALO
Fuck you

GRACE
Trip!

(Trip closes the front door.)

GONZALO
Lets make out

(Trip opens the front door.)[/QUOTE]

Gonzalo, Leader of the Slovakian army and hostage-taker of wine.

I was trying to save them but Trip wasn't listening to me.

[editline]27th May 2012[/editline]

Holy shit that is really long.

[supertribute]

Well I helped them, had a inch of melon talk.

[QUOTE]
FACADE STAGEPLAY
Mon May 28 14 38 07 2012

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

(Sam knocks on the front door.)

(Sam knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
What, Grace... this? -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Oh, she's here!

GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!

TRIP
No, she's right on time!

GRACE
God... Trip!

(Sam knocks on the front door.)

(Sam knocks on the front door.)

(Sam knocks on the front door.)

(Sam knocks on the front door.)

(Sam knocks on the front door.)

(Sam knocks on the front door.)

(Sam knocks on the front door.)

(Sam knocks on the front door.)

(Sam knocks on the front door.)

(Sam knocks on the front door.)

(Sam knocks on the front door.)

(Sam knocks on the front door.)

(Trip opens the front door.)

(Sam knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Sam!!

(Sam hugs trip.)

TRIP
Ah I'm so happy you could make it! -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Yeah, hi!

TRIP
Wow, it's really really great to see -- (interrupted)

SAM
hi

TRIP
Uh, well, it's -- it's good to see you.

TRIP
So come on in! -- (interrupted)

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
Sam,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh god it's been such a long time!

SAM
where's your bedroom?

TRIP
Yeah, how -- how are you doing?

GRACE
Uh, I just asked her that...

TRIP
Well I'm asking her too!

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

SAM
I have huge bewbs

GRACE
Oh, H-mmm (happy smile sound)

GRACE
And I have to say, you look great.

GRACE
Well, come on in, make yourself at home!

SAM
you got big bewbs too

TRIP
Heh heh, Sam, seeing you brings back good memories, you know?

(Trip closes the front door.)

GRACE
Yes, it does. H-mmm (happy smile sound)

SAM
I remember when I dated you

TRIP
Y -- yeah, tonight is special!

TRIP
Sam, remember, it was almost exactly ten years ago, tonight, that you introduced us.

TRIP
Senior year of college!

GRACE
Oh... geez... -- (interrupted)

SAM
I dated Trip

TRIP
Um, well, without you, we wouldn't even have this celebration.

TRIP
I'm gonna fix us some drinks.

PHONE
** RING **

SAM
I still love you Trip

GRACE
Oh, I'll get it --

TRIP
No, no no no, our friend's here, we can let the answering machine get it.

PHONE
** RING **

TRIP
Uhh, what? That's -- heh heh, hey, way way wait a second...

PHONE
** RING **

TRIP
(clears throat)

SAM
get the phone

TRIP
Oh, hmm... well, hold on... (clears throat)

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
Anyhow, Trip's parents... They're sweet people, really down to earth -- -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Uhh, no, they're ignorant, they don't -- (interrupted)

SAM
answer it

ANSWERING MACHINE
** click **

ANSWERING MACHINE
You've reached the fabulous new home of Grace and Trip. Leave us a message!

TRIP
Oh, Jesus, let's not talk about my parents, heh heh... Heard enough from them tonight.

ANSWERING MACHINE
** beep **

ANSWERING MACHINE
Travis, are you there, it's your mother, I haven't heard from you and Grace in a while,

SAM
how are you?

TRIP
What? N - n - no no, I -- I'm good, w -- we're good, e - e - everything's good...

ANSWERING MACHINE
I'm just calling to find out if you've settled in to your new apartment, that's all...

TRIP
(clears throat) -- (interrupted)

SAM
grace you look sad

ANSWERING MACHINE
Give me a call if you're not travelling, I know you're travelling a lot these days.

GRACE
Wait...

GRACE
You think I'm...

GRACE
depressed...

ANSWERING MACHINE
Okay, that's all, bye Travis.

SAM
no just sad

TRIP
Ho ho ho, ha, heh you're -- you're really joking around tonight, aren't you, ha ha ha...

SAM
are you happy, trip?

GRACE
Ha, yeah, ha ha...

TRIP
Ha ha, heh, never afraid to say anything that pops into your mind, ha heh heh...

SAM
I love pie

GRACE
Trip, -- (interrupted)

TRIP
What...? -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Grace, come on, that kind of statement is not helpful...

GRACE
Trip, there's nothing wrong with disagreeing in front of our friend --

TRIP
Disagreeing?! We're NOT disagreeing. We're, we're not.

TRIP
(frustrated sigh) Sheejus.

TRIP
Well, we're all friends here, uh...

TRIP
Sam, I -- I want you to look at this photo from our recent trip to Italy...

GRACE
(impatient sigh) Trip, maybe our friend would prefer --

TRIP
Grace, just because you don't like it, doesn't mean our friend won't...

GRACE
Sam, come over here and sit on the couch with me.

TRIP
Grace...!!!

SAM
i like paintings

GRACE
Oh! huh... thanks...

TRIP
Oh that's nice Grace, our friend seems happy to see you again after so long.

GRACE
(clears throat)

TRIP
Now, now, -- (interrupted)

SAM
painting good

GRACE
Oh, Sam,

TRIP
Jesus you are just full of good things to say tonight!

GRACE
(little sigh)

SAM
turn off that music

TRIP
Now, now, -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Oh, yeah, yeah, uh,

TRIP
Sam, I have to tell you about our recent trip to Italy!

GRACE
Trip, she doesn't want to hear --

TRIP
Y -- yeah, yeah, I'll tell you about it in a sec.

TRIP
Now, now, -- (interrupted)

SAM
tell me

TRIP
Yeah, yeah, I've got to tell you about Italy!

GRACE
Trip we don't want to depress our guest.

TRIP
Dammit Grace, would it kill you to be positive for once? God. -- (interrupted)

SAM
i'm not sad

TRIP
Yeah, yeah...

TRIP
Now, now, Sam, in one word, what does this picture make you think of?

GRACE
Oh, please, Trip, don't put our friend on the spot like that. -- (interrupted)

SAM
old

TRIP
No, no, that's not it --

GRACE
Yeah, that's a fine answer, I like that...!

SAM
classic

TRIP
Romance! It says... romance...!

GRACE
(little sigh) Sam, I liked your answer better. -- (interrupted)

SAM
it looks bland

TRIP
Dammit, -- (interrupted)

TRIP
What...? Sam,

GRACE
Trip, that was just a well-intentioned little poke in the ribs between friends, that's all. -- (interrupted)

SAM
what

GRACE
Oh, God, please, no more talk about Italy tonight...

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

GRACE
And I missed my friend's art show.

TRIP
What? Who is this?

GRACE
A friend from college had a gallery show of his new paintings that weekend.

GRACE
(little sigh)

TRIP
Oh, okay... It's not like there was tons of art we could have seen in Italy, if you had just left the hotel room...

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

TRIP
Okay, well, I was worried there for a bit you were on Grace's side tonight, heh heh, heh.

SAM
Italy

GRACE
You know, ever since we got married, Trip is forever trying to get me to buy new furniture, and redecorate,

GRACE
and -- and it's true, I kind of enjoy it but...

TRIP
Well, yeah, it's great, everybody loves it when they come in and see our latest decoration scheme!

GRACE
But, -- (interrupted)

SAM
cool

TRIP
Ah, yeah, Sam, I knew you'd like it.

TRIP
See Grace you don't realize how good this all looks -- and, and how good you look!

GRACE
(annoyed sigh)

GRACE
So, about my decorating...

GRACE
You know at work I waste all day designing ads for stylish objects, like these paintings,

GRACE
and then it makes me think, I want to design them into my apartment...

TRIP
Grace was the highest bidder at an auction for this.

SAM
that's great

GRACE
Uh, no, it looks so amateurish, doesn't it?

GRACE
(frustrated sigh) -- (interrupted)

SAM
it's okay

GRACE
What do you... No, we're -- we're fine, everything's fine...

GRACE
(clears throat)

SAM
no i mean the painting

GRACE
(annoyed sigh) -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Ah, what a nice surprise, an honest answer!

TRIP
Sam, Wait! Grace, I don't know where you're getting this --

GRACE
You know, Trip, do you realize that if you hadn't convinced me to go into advertising,

GRACE
I could have painted that painting on the wall instead of buying it!

TRIP
(short petulant sigh)

TRIP
Oh, yeah, we've seen how your artist friends live, as if you could survive that kind of lifestyle! Give me a break!

TRIP
Uhh, you're driving me insane!

TRIP
Goddamn artist lifestyle...

SAM
you mad bro?

TRIP
Hey, no, it's just going to make this whole thing even worse if you keep criticizing me! -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Grace, I've always had to be the one to make the right choices for you! -- (interrupted)

SAM
sorry

TRIP
Huh? What, what -- what was that?

GRACE
(impatient sigh) -- (interrupted)

SAM
I'm sorry

TRIP
Uhh, uh, can you, can you -- can you just...

GRACE
Everyone tries to explain everything...

GRACE
Trip, our whole marriage, you're so... controlling!

TRIP
Oh, god...!

TRIP
Alright, you know what, Sam,

TRIP
I need to ask you something.

GRACE
Trip --

TRIP
Grace, let me ask our guest a question.

TRIP
Sam, yes or no...

TRIP
If one person in a marriage gives the other advice, and that advice is taken -- years later, can you get blamed for that?

GRACE
What?

TRIP
Is it okay to get blamed for giving advice that was taken, like, ten years ago?

SAM
no

GRACE
What...?!

GRACE
Oh, okay... fine...

GRACE
Goddammit! How can I be happy when you act this way, Trip? Huh? I'm miserable!

TRIP
Oh, Christ...! -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Uhh! Yeah, go on, go away!

TRIP
I can't stand frigging looking at you!

(SAM hugs trip.)

TRIP
Oh... Shit!

TRIP
No, d -- d -- don't, come on...

GRACE
What? Are you talking to me?

TRIP
What's it to you?

TRIP
Sam, I can't believe this is happening...!

SAM
your home

GRACE
Sam, from what you said before, about marriage... I think that shows us something about Trip.

TRIP
Oh, we're talking about me, are we?

GRACE
What?

GRACE
Damn it, Trip, you and my parents are always planning these stupid trips I have to go on..

TRIP
They're vacations! Expensive ones at that!

SAM
Just make up already!

TRIP
Oh, now it's all my fault. Just because your parents and I get along, now it's some big conspiracy. -- (interrupted)

SAM
not your fault

TRIP
Ah! -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Sam, you -- you blame me for all this, don't you?

TRIP
Grace, no --

GRACE
It's all from some mistake -- (interrupted)

SAM
I'm not blaming you

GRACE
No?

GRACE
Oh, thank God you disagree, that helps!

TRIP
Grace, what are you talking about, 'mistake you made'... what -- what 'mistake'?

TRIP
Are you just making stuff up now?

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

SAM
I'm not getting involved

TRIP
Let's keep talking about Grace.

GRACE
Sam, it's time that Trip finally just admits that our marriage --

TRIP
Grace, don't, no, you don't need to --

GRACE
Admits that our marriage is not --

TRIP
Stop it, stop it! -- (interrupted)

(SAM points to the wedding photo.)

(SAM points to the wedding photo.)

GRACE
God, that wedding picture... I hate it.

TRIP
Grace, how can you say --

GRACE
You and my parents had so much fun planning everything. Trip, the bride normally plans the wedding.

(SAM points to the wedding gown sketch 4.)

(SAM points to the wedding gown sketch 4.)

TRIP
Jesus, Grace, most women would consider themselves lucky.

(SAM points to the wedding gown sketch 4.)

(SAM points to the wedding gown sketch.)

(SAM points to the wedding gown sketch.)

(SAM points to the wedding gown sketch.)

(SAM points to the wedding gown sketch.)

(SAM points to the wedding gown sketch.)

(SAM points to the wedding gown sketch.)

(SAM points to the wedding gown sketch.)

(SAM points to the wedding gown sketch.)

(SAM points to the wedding gown sketch.)

SAM
weeding pictures

GRACE
God, Sam, can we just stop talking about Trip's stuff, please?

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

(SAM picks up the red wine bottle.)

TRIP
Look, let's talk about us both, not just one of us.

GRACE
Trip, you just pretend to like all this stuff... fancy cigars, and fine wine...

SAM
drink

TRIP
You think I'm not -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Sam, does it look like I want to fix you drinks right now?

(SAM puts down the red wine bottle.)

GRACE
Let's keep talking about us, our relationship.

GRACE
I think Trip's afraid of visiting his parents. He does everything he can to avoid seeing them.

SAM
I like your twins

TRIP
Afraid of -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Look, just quit taking sides, it's going to do more harm than good!

(SAM hugs grace.)

GRACE
Oh, Sam, thanks, but, what we need right now is to just get all this out in the open...

TRIP
Uhh...

SAM
keep talking

TRIP
No we need -- we need to talk about us both, not just one.

GRACE
Sam, you -- you blame me for all this, don't you?

TRIP
See, I don't think you really want to be an artist. -- (interrupted)

SAM
I'm not

GRACE
No?

GRACE
Oh, thank God you disagree, that really helps us!

GRACE
Let's keep talking about us, our relationship.

TRIP
Grace, even though you're now a creative director at work,

TRIP
the truth is... you're not an artist.

GRACE
Uhh...!

TRIP
I'm sorry, you're not.

GRACE
Sam, uhh...

SAM
that's mean, trip

TRIP
No?

GRACE
Ah, thank you, you disagree, that might just help him!

GRACE
See, Trip, you have no idea what an artist is.

TRIP
Okay, I've had enough of this bullshit!!

TRIP
Sam, I know what you're hinting at...

TRIP
about me...

TRIP
about art...

TRIP
Do you really want the truth? Huh?

TRIP
Sam, -- (interrupted)

SAM
yes

TRIP
Grace?

GRACE
Yes...!

TRIP
Sam, see I've actually been paying close attention to what you've been saying.

TRIP
You've been pushing me tonight.

TRIP
And I wonder, are you really my friend or not.

GRACE
Trip!

TRIP
Sam, come on -- yes or no...

TRIP
Do you really think that...

SAM
I'm both your friend

TRIP
criticizing Grace...

TRIP
praising Grace...

TRIP
criticizing me...

TRIP
and worst of all,

TRIP
saying that Grace is to blame...

(SAM hugs trip.)

TRIP
but especially what you said about giving advice to your wife...

TRIP
No, Sam, let me finish!

TRIP
that I'm supposed to realize something about myself from all that?

SAM
lol

TRIP
Is what you've said tonight supposed to add up somehow, to something?

SAM
yes

TRIP
Alright.

TRIP
Grace, I know you want to be an artist.

(SAM points to the wedding photo.)

(SAM points to the wedding photo.)

(SAM points to the wedding photo.)

(SAM points to the wedding photo.)

TRIP
But I could never be married to you if you were.

GRACE
What?

TRIP
I can't... I -- I just can't...

GRACE
But Trip --

TRIP
When I married you, see, I was sure I could convince you to give it up, to -- to go into advertising.

SAM
melons

GRACE
Uhh...

(SAM kisses trip.)

TRIP
And -- and I did it, and it worked.

(SAM kisses trip.)

TRIP
But now... I -- I don't know, Grace...

SAM
melons

TRIP
(big sigh) I don't know...

SAM
melons

GRACE
uhh...

SAM
melons

GRACE
Oh my God...!

TRIP
Sam, I --

GRACE
I'm going to give you the truth too, Trip.

TRIP
What?!

GRACE
I painted this.

TRIP
Bullshit.

GRACE
I am an artist, Trip, fuck you.

SAM
she is

TRIP
You've been secretly painting? When --

GRACE
Everytime you go on a goddamn business trip, I paint.

SAM
don't blame trip

GRACE
So don't EVER give me any more of your 'you could never be an artist' crap!!

TRIP
Jesus --

GRACE
uhh...

TRIP
uhh...

SAM
lol u mad

TRIP
Jesus...!

GRACE
Okay, Sam, Trip, I have one more thing to say...

TRIP
Again?!

(SAM kisses grace.)

GRACE
Trip, I --

(SAM kisses grace.)

(SAM kisses grace.)

(SAM kisses grace.)

(SAM kisses grace.)

GRACE
I let you stop me from being an artist.

(SAM kisses grace.)

(SAM kisses grace.)

(SAM sits on the couch.)

TRIP
You let me --

GRACE
I was afraid, Trip okay?

(SAM gets up from the couch.)

GRACE
I -- I admit it.

(SAM uses the answering machine.)

ANSWERING MACHINE
One new message *beep*

(SAM picks up the phone.)

GRACE
I didn't know if -- if I could do it, be a real artist...

(SAM puts down the phone.)

ANSWERING MACHINE
Travis, are you there, it's your mother, I haven't heard from you and Grace in a while,

GRACE
And I've been using you as an excuse for why I didn't do it.

SAM
your mom

ANSWERING MACHINE
I'm just calling to find out if you've settled in to your new apartment, that's all...

(SAM kisses trip.)

ANSWERING MACHINE
Give me a call if you're not travelling, I know you're travelling a lot these days.

GRACE
uhh...

TRIP
uhh...

ANSWERING MACHINE
Okay, that's all, bye Travis.

(SAM points to the wedding gown sketch 4.)

TRIP
Jesus...!

TRIP
This changes everything...

SAM
lol bye

GRACE
Yeah.

TRIP
And no, Sam, you don't need to say anything more...

GRACE
You finally admitted it -- you just don't want me to be an artist...

TRIP
You... you really have to be an artist...

TRIP
I prevented you from being an artist...

GRACE
No, I -- I let you do it...

TRIP
Sam, I --

GRACE
Sam, we...

TRIP
Look, uh, we need to talk...

GRACE
Yeah.

TRIP
Sam, Thanks for coming over, you... I think you helped us.

SAM
thanks melons

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
And no, Sam, enough!

GRACE
Bye. Thanks.

SAM
lol melon

(Trip closes the front door.)

(SAM points to the elevator button.)

(SAM points to the elevator button.)
[/QUOTE]

[t h e]

Videos are much funnier than text. Just saying. I can't even record so I'm being a total hypocrite but it sort of gets long reading all these

[fear me]

[QUOTE=t h e;36105841]I can't even record so I'm being a total hypocrite [b]but it sort of gets long[/b] reading all these[/QUOTE]

hehehe

Also, Grace and Trip are horrible, annoying, bitchy people and I wish there was an ending where the both end up dead.

[.𓃉𓁿𓂎𓁿𓃉.]

So I decided to start up this game after a long time of not playing it, and I notice that something is off...

[IMG]http://puu.sh/xfwd[/IMG]

[IMG]http://puu.sh/xfxz[/IMG]

[I]So what does this picture say to you?[/I]
[IMG]http://puu.sh/xfxV[/IMG]

[IMG]http://puu.sh/xfAm[/IMG]

[IMG]http://puu.sh/xfAw[/IMG]

[IMG]http://puu.sh/xfAz[/IMG]
I shook it and it DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING CHANGE

[IMG]http://puu.sh/xfAC[/IMG]

[IMG]http://puu.sh/xfAF[/IMG]

And then they just stared at me for 5 minutes until I yelled at them to stop
[IMG]http://puu.sh/xfB2[/IMG]

[editline]28th May 2012[/editline]

I think if you look out the window you can see him slamming a building but I am not sure since I only saw a foot

[Scarabix]

dude what the shit

[Hidole555]

Ah, too many walls of text. Get WeGame or Hypercam or SOMETHING to record your game.

[Daemon White]

I did a playthrough only saying "KHA" with different expressions. I solved their problem.

[editline]28th May 2012[/editline]

Also, does anyone know about Maria? Ask Trip about her.

[supertribute]

[QUOTE=Hidole555;36107889]Ah, too many walls of text. Get WeGame or Hypercam or SOMETHING to record your game.[/QUOTE]

I got Bandicam, but I could try use it when no one is using the TV. lol bad timing.