Total War Megathread V.2: "All of Christendom Will be Awed by this Megathread!" - Games

[QUOTE=cdr248;37570758]I hated the pope in Medieval 2.[/QUOTE] This thread is pretty much made for bashing that cunt.

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UqjLNSyO0w&feature=player_embedded#![/media] Rome II stuff is 3:20-5:50, and there's a little more later on. The CA guys seem so friendly and seem to really value their community, that's good to see in a game company.

[QUOTE=cdr248;37568868]I would have just executed them then and there to send a message.[/QUOTE] I atleast try to ransom prisoners even thou 98% of the time they'll decline. Straight up executing hurts your reputation with other nations and if you do it repeatedly you'll quickly find yourself without allies and everyone hates you.

Played Napoleon Total War for the first time. Was playing on regular difficult, expected to lose a battle. Didn't, feels good.

Oddly I've never had trouble with Total War A.I until Shogun 2.

[QUOTE=Forsythe;37586929]Oddly I've never had trouble with Total War A.I until Shogun 2.[/QUOTE] Then you're not playing it right.

Hey guess what, random [url=http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=561369]House Baratheon of Storms End preview![/url] They must be damn near done.

Rome is the best game period. So I'm playing Pontus right? Armenia been my ally since the beginning and all. So I fuck up dem rebels in turkey, fuck up Thrace for byzantium (made it my capital), and in the MIDDLE of the war, the Greeks go 'lolno you filthy greekturk'. What the fuck. Greeks = Turks faggots. Anyways, take out Thrace, start going for the Greeks. They take one city of mine, and one Rebels. Bang em both good. Greeks go 'ohshit'. Macedonia allies with the Brutii (and perhaps even all of Rome) and use the Brutii to take Athens. This time, I go 'ohshit'. Seulucids go 'ohshitbro, what do we do?' Now, Armenia starts to intervent. This shit's gonna go biblical. So, Macedonia allies with me. "Awyeah, now to take out the Greeks, then the seulucids, and then backstab Macedo-" Just after I take Rhodes (and the semi-last of Greece, who were mostly up in Turkey fighting me [Read = getting their asses kicked]. Macedonia go 'LOLWHOOPS, THAT WAS YOUR TOWN (taken from thrace, nontheless!)? THOSE WERE YOUR SOLDIERS?'. Collective Armenia-Pontus-Seulucid-Scythia (I use a diplomat as explorer) go 'Shit'. Scythia goes 'Aint getting my shit involved', Armenia keeps on fightan, and I try to ally with Egypt for some help. Then, following Macedon, ALL Roman factions declare war. [B]AND NOT BEFORE I COULD PREPARE FOR THEIR INVASION, BECAUSE THEY (SENATE BRUTII JULII AND THE BLUE-II DUDES) HAD THEIR ARMIES IN MY ASIA BEFOREHAND WHICH I DID NOT SEE, BECAUSE IT WAS JUST ON THE MOTHERFUCKING BORDERS[/b] Que Seulucids going 'Fuck Pontus, get Roma Bitches'. Egypt goes lolno, aint getting involved in this. Fucking fake ass greeks. I may play Turkgreeks, but atleast I don't turn my back on the other Diadochi (Hey, I was planning to, but I DIDN'T do it yet.) Then Dacia declares war on Macedon. Egypt had conquered Numidia so it declares war Carthage. Armenia keeps on truckin' with me. Wars: Macedon and all Roman Factions vs Dacia Macedon and all Roman factions vs me and Armenia Egypt vs Carthage and Spain Gallia and Spain vs Germania Germania vs Britannia Later on Seulucids and Egypt allied and attacked me and Armenia. So this was a huge clusterfuck of wars, and Scythia was at war with some other dude ithink as well. So all Romans, Egyptians and Seulucids up in this Turkey, and go eating my cities there. I, in mainland Greece fucked up some macedon towns, and took em. Then they took Byzantium, killed my faction leader, heir and 3 other family members. Instaspam mercenaries and other troops. So I raise the biggest army yet, and went to byzantium, where all those fucking armies of them were (or around that). What happened then made me regret not having an 'RAGEQUIT' button on my keyboard. Those fucking armies beated my army of in the thousands, theirs was something more then half mine. They indepentedly marched to my other cities and I ragequit. Moral of the story: Never trust Greeks. And the Romans even less. [editline]10th September 2012[/editline] Oh, aftermath of the wars: Macedon and all Roman Factions vs Dacia [B]DACIA BECAME MACEDONIAN[/B] Macedon and all Roman factions vs me and Armenia [B]PONTUS (ME) RAGEQUITS [READ = JUST GAVE UP AND SEPPUKU'D] I THINK ARMENIA GOT FUCKED UP BAD TOO[/B] Egypt vs Carthage and Spain [b]CARTHAGE BACKSTABS SPAIN, AND ANNEXES DESTROYS THEM. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WAR. EGYPT USES THE SITUATION TO FUCK UP CARTHAGE AND ALL OF SPAIN AND NORTH AFRICA WAS THEN UNDER EGYPTIAN CONTROL[/b] Gallia and Spain vs Germania [B]NO GODDAMNED IDEA, BUT SINCE SPAIN GOT CARTHAGE'D', AND LATER EGYPT'D, I'M GUESSING GALLIA WON PARTIALLY, BUT I THINK GERMANIA STILL EXISTED[/b] Germania vs Britannia [B]BRITANNIA KICKED UP GERMANIA'S ASS UP'N'DOWN[/b] Later on Seulucids and Egypt allied and attacked me and Armenia. [B]GUESS[/b]

Never trust total war AI for alliances, unless you can stomp them. I think the game that handled alliances the best was CK2.

Just out of curiosity, did anyone here end up getting super interested in history after playing a total war game like me?

[QUOTE=CapLaPorte;37618374]Just out of curiosity, did anyone here end up getting super interested in history after playing a total war game like me?[/QUOTE] Well, I am now currently studying Roman times and the Medieval Ages (especially early Medieval) in my spare time, so yes.

Current running a trading/manufacturing empire in ETW as the Italian States. My Goals/Gameplan -Set up massive trade fleets in Africa to export Ivory -Stay 100% neutral(But I will fund the shit out of nations to fight proxy wars) -While everyone is fighting and researching Military Tech, I'm researching Manufacturing Tech and then selling it to superpower nations -Establish a strong Italian presence in the New World, specifically South America/Mexico -Deal with the ever growing threat of the Ottoman zerg rush across the Mediterranean -Finally unify Italy under 1 banner, mainly so I can roll around in the massive piles of gold her vineyards pull in Right off the bat I ally with Venice(because they will fuck you over SO HARD if you don't bro up with them from turn 1) and I set up trade agreements with Venice, Spain, Austria, and France. I never bother with Genoa because they usually will piss off Spain and/or France and get conquered. Venice is a great choice for a bro because not only do I have a secure northern border but they will also deal with the Ottomans and stop them from spreading westward. Once I have a solid diplomatic foundation I tear down the church and replace it with a college. With the college up and running I first research the social tech that advances the college and trade ports to their next levels. With Rome's port upgraded I take the Maratha Confed. to fill my new trade slot. So far I'm making 3k~ a turn with very low taxes on both classes and only domestic exports. My first move in establishing global trade was to take Dutch Guyana from the United Provinces because fuck em they 1 have tiny peace of land in each theatre. Pretty much they can't do shit about it except spam the ever loving fuck out of you with ridiculous offers of a Peace Treaty in exchange for me paying them 8k and giving DG back to them. Now that I have a trading port right next to a theatre change zone I'm steadily pumping out Indiaman ships into Africa for that sweet sweet ivory while DG is exporting sugar, gems, and gold back to Europe. Now I'm making a steady ~7-8k and every few turns or so I send gifts to Spain and France. I want Spain to really like my nation because I want to acquire Naples & Sicily without having to attack Spain and lose our ~1.8k trade agreement + get face rolled. At the same time I am steadily fueling a Venetian-Ottoman conflict. Who knew you could successfully feed a proxy war using only fine china :v: I sort of bit off more than I can chew by expanding into South America from the get-go. I severely underestimated(loltotallyforgotabout) the pirate fleets that stomp around the area and assrape everything in sight. My poor brigs/sloops stand absolutely no chance against 1 lone Galleon let alone a wolfpack of 4 of these motherfuckers. Every chance they get they'll come and raid my port which kills a good 2-3k off my profits. Unfortunately Venice starts with the Admiral school so I'm pretty SOL in ever having even a half way decent navy. At this point I'm starting to rethink the New World approach and considering cutting my loses and selling Guyana to the first bidder. I decide to tough it out for now. Few years go by and suddenly Genoa just ups and declares war on me. I'm thinking no problem I'll just steamroll Genoa and won't mind picking up another vineyard+textile factor+port in the process. Up until this point my army consisted of 2 milita stationed in Rome and a colonial expedition force in Guyana made up of 1 dragoon, 3 reg o horse, 3 militia, and 2 line infantry regs. Plus I have absolutely zero military tech. I send a rake up to sabotage his port/factory and discover Genoa is 100% full of nothing but line infantry regiments(they also fortified Genoa with a star fort fml.) I figure since I'm an economic powerhouse that I'll use the economy as a weapon. I muster a sizeable force and plant myself on his textile factory whilst my rake keeps sapping the port. Now begins a war of attrition.

I also started playing the campaigns of both Medieval II and Rome. Both are amazingly fun and I'm surprised I never played them until recently. In Medieval II, I went with England because it sounded easy. After stomping out rebels for a few short years, effectively claiming everything but Scotland (I even took Bruges) I had an uneasy peace with everybody, but was effectively making tens of thousands of Florins every half year. France and her dumbshit allies wanted a piece of the great golden pie I effectively hogged from the rest of Europe, and so they demanded tribute or else they will attack. I was unphased by this and essentially said "lol no" Two turns later, they destroy my undermanned garrison at Caen with a huge force. I was very pissed. I raised an army in the mainland and wired troops to Bruges to defend it. I then got my revenge, and then some. I sent a massive army. The Pope, being the biggest of dicks (like seriously, if Europe was a bunch of dicks, the Pope would be the black one) called a crusade to distract me. "Fuk u poope" I said as I slayed a significantly larger French force. Despite being outmanned, I had more cavalry and better tactics, so I steamrolled the French in nearly every battle. King Louis is tired of getting his shit fucked up and goes to meet my Prince in the field of combat. My hier to the throne is armed with his bodyguard, some shitty spears, and longbowmen. We end up dukeing it out in a blizzard in a forest. I withhold my general and used the spears and bows to fight the main force. The idiot ass King only brings his bodyguard unit, while he was reinforced by some peasants, town militia, and cavalry. The cavalry got instantly routed once my spearmen fucked them up, their infantry was massacred by my bowmen. I also used some hobilars on them. Anyways, I finish up there and attack King Louis with spears, but he cuts them down like butter. My bowmen were moving from across the map and Louis looked like he might escape. I watched his unit run until it was within pissing distance of the map border when suddenly, out of the blizzard comes my unit of hobilars, bravely charging. They fight, 60 hobilars vs. 14 Bodyguards. The hobilars brought them down to 6 men (the king survived the charge) before they were routed. It looked hopeless, until I heard the familiar sound of bows. WAM, an arrow collides with Louis' head as he is riding away. That crowning moment of victory comes when the camera zooms in and says "We have killed the enemy general!" I then killed his heir in a later battle, and it was about the time I was retaking Caen that the dick-pope said "lol no u stop figting dem" Meanwhile Denmark declared war. I was like "fuq" but then the HRE allied with me because they wanted a bit of dat French ass to and they start tearing shit up. I am still retaking Caen in the game, the siege has effectively lasted around 6 years and I will likely just assault the walls since the French brought reinforcements. The HRE and me will likely soon be at war with every Catholic state. I am prepared to fuck up the shit as much as necessary, but it looks hopeless.

i love reading after battle reports and reading how other people play total war games

[QUOTE=krakadict;37619982]i love reading after battle reports and reading how other people play total war games[/QUOTE] Oh well then you're in luck because I got kinda drunk and decided to do a screenshot Lets Play (I think it qualifies as a Let's Play anyway(Also I decided to get my nerd on and make up a story or something, I don't know)) So here we go. [thumb]http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/4677/2012091000001.jpg[/thumb] I'm playing the Italian Mod [i]Bellum Crucis[/i]. It's probably the best overhaul I've played for the base game, it's script heavy so turns are like 30 seconds but I like it. I'm choosing the Byzantines for a few reasons, mainly I haven't played them before and figured I should give them a try. Also, despite them having quite a lot of territory and troops, they are absolutely surrounded by factions so I figured they would be nice and challenging. I'm playing Hard campaign and Hard battles, because I'm a [b]man[/b], and the long campaign in case this is actually popular. [thumb]http://img838.imageshack.us/img838/5328/2012091000002.jpg[/thumb] [B]Turn 1:[/B][I]Emperor Manuel I Komnenos sits as the uneasy ruler of an empire long past it's prime. The Greek remnants of the Roman Empire have suffered defeat after defeat, particularly at the hands of the Turks and Syrians. Interior Anatolia has fallen to the Seljuk's, a grim people dedicated to crushing the Greeks. North of the grand city of Constantinople are the Cuman's and the Maygar's, both unfriendly to Byzantine authorities. After years of hardship, Emperor Manuel has decided to reclaim the lost glory of Byzantium. Across the Empire, thousands of peasants are given simple spears and metal caps and sent screaming at their enemies. Men are gathered in all the great cities and castles and told to wait for their lords commands.[/I] [thumb]http://img837.imageshack.us/img837/3205/2012091000003.jpg[/thumb] [I]The Kingdom of Georgia approaches Imperial representatives with an offer of a trade agreement and an alliance, to which the Emperor gladly accepts. The Georgians will provide a stable northern border and may keep the Cumans distracted.[/I] [thumb]http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/2439/2012091000004.jpg[/thumb] [B]Turn 2:[/B][I]The Seljuk's also approach Manuel with an offer of a trade agreement and an updated version of the current Seljuk borders. Manuel agrees if only to make planning for an attack easier.[/i] [thumb]http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/5961/2012091000006.jpg[/thumb] [B]Turn 4:[/B][I]The Emperor, en-route to a rally point for a planned attack on several Seljuk territories, is ambushed by Brigands.[/I] [thumb]http://img846.imageshack.us/img846/7938/2012091000013.jpg[/thumb] [I]After a lengthy battle, the Brigands are routed and killed. Their general is killed by the Emperor as he fled for the hills.[/I] [thumb]http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/4061/2012091000016.jpg[/thumb] [I]Meanwhile, to the north, General Parpaloo (Or whatever) puts the city of Chernorsk (Or something) to siege.[/I] [thumb]http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/7670/2012091000019.jpg[/thumb] [B]Turn 5:[/B][I]In southern Anatolia the first act of war is made. Three thousand men under Prince Komnenos besiege Konya.[/I] [thumb]http://img37.imageshack.us/img37/1905/2012091000020.jpg[/thumb] [I]And north of that, Emperor Manuel and his cousin Alex besiege Amasya with twenty-four hundred men.[/I] [thumb]http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/9627/2012091000021.jpg[/thumb] [I]And then I got dumb. I left half my army on the other side of the city and left them open to attack. Guess it's time to get my ass raped...[/I] [thumb]http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/7428/2012091000022.jpg[/thumb] [I]In order to balance the battle, General Bippity Boo orders his heavy horse to smash the enemy mounted and unmounted archers as fast as he can. (Not pictured) Meanwhile, the two groups of infantry crash into each other. The Greek spears are slowly driven back, until General Bippity's horsemen attack the Seljuks from behind and annihilate them. The infantry is quickly ordered to charge the rapidly approaching forces of the Seljuk Sultan.[/I] [thumb]http://img819.imageshack.us/img819/5897/2012091000023.jpg[/thumb] [thumb]http://img835.imageshack.us/img835/9689/2012091000025.jpg[/thumb] [thumb]http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/6034/2012091000026.jpg[/thumb] [I]General Bippity and his retainers charge the Sultan. After lengthy bitter fighting, the Sultan is struck down, at which point all his remaining spears flee for the safety of the city, which is denied to them by the Greek horsemen.[/I] [thumb]http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/5461/2012091000028.jpg[/thumb] [I]The prisoners are ransomed and released north of the city, which surrenders due to it's entire garrison being a vultures dinner.[/I] [thumb]http://img713.imageshack.us/img713/5245/2012091000031.jpg[/thumb] [I]And at Amasya, Emperor Komnenus decides to storm the walls due to scouts reporting a sizable Seljuk force approaching.[/I] [thumb]http://img94.imageshack.us/img94/9193/2012091000036.jpg[/thumb] [I]The only real opposition is swept aside by the Emperor and the city falls without trouble. The approaching Seljuk's decide to head west into the mountains instead. Lord Alex Komnenus is killed in the fighting though.[/I] [I]Emperor Manuel sends riders south to General Boppity, announcing a plan to mutually advance towards each other, sacking the Seljuk cities along the way. Boppity agrees and moves north, to Ankara, while Emperor Manuel marches on Sivas. However, word of a sizable host of Seljuk troops comes from the east, placing both sieges in jeopardy if they are caught and smashed outside the walls.[/I] So... That's it. I mean, I've never tried this before so give me some honest feedback, basic shit like whether it was good and what should be changed. Or whether I should do anymore at all. I don't really care, just something I wanted to try and the two after-action posts inspired me.

Started as Egypt and took the closest Numidian cities. Why is North Africa so underpopulated? It takes tens of turns t find the next city.

because africa

[QUOTE=Killerjc;37626373]because africa[/QUOTE] Still, the provinces are giant, and in Roman times they weren't all desert.

[QUOTE=Aerkhan;37627914][B]in Roman times they weren't all desert.[/B][/QUOTE] This is amazing, to think that we, as a species, have lasted so long we saw Africa turn from green to tan, losing all it's flora (except around rivers/coasts). We have stood the test of time. We have survived.

[QUOTE=BananaFoam;37632418]This is amazing, to think that we, as a species, have lasted so long we saw Africa turn from green to tan, losing all it's flora (except around rivers/coasts). We have stood the test of time. We have survived.[/QUOTE] here you go buddy [media][URL]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSYPYq9D_No[/URL][/media]

Hate playing 10 hours of campaign on NTW and then you come back to it to find that the game crashes everytime you load the file. fucking pisses me off

Bellum Crucis is absolutely amazing, but goddamn does it crash. It crashes more than a drunkard driving a Ford.

[QUOTE=CapLaPorte;37618374]Just out of curiosity, did anyone here end up getting super interested in history after playing a total war game like me?[/QUOTE] Yes. I think Total War gives you a sort of different insight into history that no class can really achieve. Obviously it won't teach you [I]what[/I] happened, but it becomes easier to understand why things happened.

[QUOTE=bobsmit;37645878]Yes. I think Total War gives you a sort of different insight into history that no class can really achieve. Obviously it won't teach you [I]what[/I] happened, but it becomes easier to understand why things happened.[/QUOTE] I still have yet to learn why every country wanted to invade Ireland.

[QUOTE=VOSK;37646026]I still have yet to learn why every country wanted to invade Ireland.[/QUOTE] Easy to launch attacks on england, invading through Wales would be easier due to the Welsh hating the english back then. That bit about the welsh is just me speculating btw, not fact.

potato resources [sp]yes i know where potatoes really came from[/sp]

[QUOTE=BananaFoam;37645576]Bellum Crucis is absolutely amazing, but goddamn does it crash. It crashes more than a drunkard driving a Ford.[/QUOTE] Yeah, main thing that causes crashes that I've noticed is all those forts you start with. For some reason whenever I get in sight of a Polish or Russian fort it crashes. And it battles a fair bit too.

France decided to conquer Savoy(they always do) at the same time I finally conquered Genoa and kicked them off the Italian mainland. I'm thinking hell ya, I've got France(Very Friendly) to my west, Venice(Ally+Very Friendly) to my east and Spain(Very Friendly) to the south&north. Venice and France somehow are at war with each other but regardless we are a fellowship of bros. Plus we are all raking in hella gold from trading with each other. The next turn after my triumph France declares war on me, fml. I try and try and try to appease them in an attempt to broker a peace treaty but all my negotiations fail. I had a stroke of genius. Dutch Guyana wasn't pulling in any income anymore from constant pirate blockades and I can't spam Indiaman ships into Africa from her ports, so I give DG to the French. Problem solved and we restore peace plus we renegotiate our trade agreement. Now that I have a 2nd port but I'm still hellbent on establishing trade operations in the Caribbean, I've begun to field a fleet of Privateers to combat the pirate threat. I've got the United Provinces final Caribbean territory, Trinidad & Tobago, and Antigua in my sights.

I just found out that when you press the continue battle button, rampaging elephants still count as enemies. So begins the hilarity of killing an elephant with 4 units of velites without ammo. The benny hill theme would much more appropriate than the game«'s theme songs

[QUOTE=cr2142;37642319]Hate playing 10 hours of campaign on NTW and then you come back to it to find that the game crashes everytime you load the file. fucking pisses me off[/QUOTE] Oh shit it works now snip