[QUOTE=RearAdmiral;39190449][t]http://puu.sh/1MK6u[/t]
That's a hell of a rope[/QUOTE]
Dwarven Stupidity must be the longest fucking book.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/dVZIV.png[/img]
[QUOTE=macdoo999;39196144]Dwarven Stupidity must be the longest fucking book.[/QUOTE]
turns out to be the DF game manual...
[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;39196931]turns out to be the DF game manual...[/QUOTE]
I don't remember who originally posted this but it always cracks me up
[IMG]http://gyazo.com/0b7cc3c5dba18bd73b157cacb808bd21.png?1358041902[/IMG]
Very on topic
One of my masons just dropped dead. I thought it was some kind of poison at first, but when I made a slab to check, it turns out he died peacefully.
What kind of dwarf dies of old age? Pussy.
Jesus Christ, my first attempt at Masterwork and I get swarmed by Dragon Raptors all while every 5 seconds I'm being alerted that Kobold Thieves are invading my stockpiles
After being besieged by white tigermen for 12 times now, I have finally found a sweet, sweet way to avenge myself.
One of the besiegers I caught in a cage trap gave birth to two cubs (male AND female) before being used as live-archery target. Not only have I managed to permanently tame the two cubs, they will be able to breed soon. I will raise my own tigerman army and unleash their own kind against them.
Best part is, one of the war elephants I caught gave birth to two calfs too.
I am totally going to create an inbred tiger/elephant warband.
[QUOTE=Mrfantasticool;39202385]After being besieged by white tigermen for 12 times now, I have finally found a sweet, sweet way to avenge myself.
One of the besiegers I caught in a cage trap gave birth to two cubs (male AND female) before being used as live-archery target. Not only have I managed to permanently tame the two cubs, they will be able to breed soon. I will raise my own tigerman army and unleash their own kind against them.
Best part is, one of the war elephants I caught gave birth to two calfs too.
I am totally going to create an inbred tiger/elephant warband.[/QUOTE]
A massive inbred army of tiger people.
Thank you.
I think I know what killed my elven war leader, he was riding a Giant Olm and there's a [url=http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=926]bug[/url] that allows amphibious creatures to path through water, even when it will drown their riders.
So I've created a long, winding underground path that is filled with water from the nearby river. Should thin the numbers of the next siege through sheer stupidity.
[QUOTE=Devodiere;39202961]I think I know what killed my elven war leader, he was riding a Giant Olm and there's a [url=http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=926]bug[/url] that allows amphibious creatures to path through water, even when it will drown their riders.
So I've created a long, winding underground path that is filled with water from the nearby river. Should thin the numbers of the next siege through sheer stupidity.[/QUOTE]
One of my favourite Fortress defences is a long, winding passage that seals itself via retractable bridges on both sides and then floods itself. Make sure it actually leads into your fortress and invaders should all rush into it only to get drowned. Once it drains you now have your pick of an entire invasion force's worth of loot.
[QUOTE=RearAdmiral;39203027]One of my favourite Fortress defences is a long, winding passage that seals itself via retractable bridges on both sides and then floods itself. Make sure it actually leads into your fortress and invaders should all rush into it only to get drowned. Once it drains you now have your pick of an entire invasion force's worth of loot.[/QUOTE]
Something like this. Feeds invaders through the open pathways, once enough are inside it closes them and opens the river bridges. Once they're dead, open the path to the cavern and drain it. Simple and effective.
[t]http://i.imgur.com/QRGcb.jpg[/t]
[QUOTE=wallyroberto_2;39200579]One of my masons just dropped dead. I thought it was some kind of poison at first, but when I made a slab to check, it turns out he died peacefully.
What kind of dwarf dies of old age? Pussy.[/QUOTE]
Dwarves that die of old age don't create ghosts, as far as I know.
I think that might only be because ghosts can die of old age too.
So I recently found out about the LP of [url=http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=84451.0]Deathgate[/url]
[quote]I've really run this fort into the ground. Half the military is dead or insane from the horrors of hell, six or so forsaken beasts are locked away in the caverns, the road into Deathgate has been painted with troll blood, we've slaughtered about 400 innocent animals via liberal application of a boot to the ass, a deer with its liver hanging out of its chest after two siege bolts to the face is still scaring the piss out of people using the old doom-bridge, and we have about a dozen ghosts routinely harassing our dwarves since I can't find or reach their corpses. As I speak, lava is pouring down the side of the mountain in the hopes it burns some of those damned goblins sieging us to death or at least drives them towards the troll-blood bridge. On the flip side, Armok's temple is almost complete and we've stolen enough goods from the humans to piss them off for a good decade. [/quote]
[quote]I love how the preface of nearly every starting post after the first few turns are always something along the lines of, "This place makes no sense at all."[/quote]
theres a herd of unicorns outside my fortress
how do I tame them then slaughter them
[QUOTE=bunnyspy1;39205056]theres a herd of unicorns outside my fortress
how do I tame them then slaughter them[/QUOTE]
Why tame them when you can trap and hunt them?
[QUOTE=draugur;39205069]Why tame them when you can trap and hunt them?[/QUOTE]
good point, thanks.
Early in the fortress life, one of my founding 7 got injured in a minecart accident and stayed in the hospital for a year. During this year, I created a soap industry to prevent him dying from infection, I imported plaster for a cast and sent dwarves on a risky endeavour to the caves for cave spider silk, for sutures.
It worked - the poor dwarf finally left the bed and returned to normal life of a fortress now 40 dwarf strong.
The first thing he does is walk onto the same tracks he had an accident year earlier and gets killed by a minecart full of rocks.
r.i.p Urist McDidn't-Learn-his-lesson
[QUOTE=Adbor;39205452]Early in the fortress life, one of my founding 7 got injured in a minecart accident and stayed in the hospital for a year. During this year, I created a soap industry to prevent him dying from infection, I imported plaster for a cast and sent dwarves on a risky endeavour to the caves for cave spider silk, for sutures.
It worked - the poor dwarf finally left the bed and returned to normal life of a fortress now 40 dwarf strong.
The first thing he does is walk onto the same tracks he had an accident year earlier and gets killed by a minecart full of rocks.
r.i.p Urist McDidn't-Learn-his-lesson[/QUOTE]
Such is the life of a dwarf.
does anybody know what that one fortress where a guy tried to farm some super rare aquatic animal and in doing so drained the entire ocean, blocked off his embark site with statues, and made all of his tools and stuff out of the bones of the dead animals
[url=http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=75780.0]Found it, it was actually sea serpents[/url]
Mermaids I think?
[QUOTE=Adbor;39205452]Early in the fortress life, one of my founding 7 got injured in a minecart accident and stayed in the hospital for a year. During this year, I created a soap industry to prevent him dying from infection, I imported plaster for a cast and sent dwarves on a risky endeavour to the caves for cave spider silk, for sutures.
It worked - the poor dwarf finally left the bed and returned to normal life of a fortress now 40 dwarf strong.
The first thing he does is walk onto the same tracks he had an accident year earlier and gets killed by a minecart full of rocks.
r.i.p Urist McDidn't-Learn-his-lesson[/QUOTE]
Yet one more entry into the book 'Dwarven Stupidity.'
[QUOTE=timman;39206003]Mermaids I think?[/QUOTE]
Yep.
Also I have never used minecarts. Just never had a fortress that needed them yet. I should make a really large fortress that spans laterally and travel is done via mine cart like a tram system.
holy shit
the merchant went berserk and instantly got killed by his guards, who immediately ran off somewhere
now all my dwarves are looting his corpse and other loot
how do I check attack logs?
[QUOTE=coilgunner;39198182]I don't remember who originally posted this but it always cracks me up
[IMG]http://gyazo.com/0b7cc3c5dba18bd73b157cacb808bd21.png?1358041902[/IMG]
Very on topic[/QUOTE]
That was me.
[QUOTE=bunnyspy1;39206159]holy shit
the merchant went berserk and instantly got killed by his guards, who immediately ran off somewhere
now all my dwarves are looting his corpse and other loot
how do I check attack logs?[/QUOTE]
Hit the [r]eports button, then cycle through with the arrow keys to the individual you want. Then enter to view the report.
[QUOTE=Lijitsu;39206257]Hit the [r]eports button, then cycle through with the arrow keys to the individual you want. Then enter to view the report.[/QUOTE]
thank you kindly
Press r.
Edit: Dem ninjas.
[QUOTE=Lijitsu;39206041]Yet one more entry into the book 'Dwarven Stupidity.'[/QUOTE]
A single book? i think this is looking more like a series at this point
[QUOTE=Fremontsmith;39206301]A single book? i think this is looking more like a series at this point[/QUOTE]
Nah, it's one of those magical books that automatically updates itself and has unlimited pages. That being said, I'm not sure how powerful of a wizard you have to be to dump enough magic into a book for it to catalog that much, and all at once.
[QUOTE=Lijitsu;39206513]Nah, it's one of those magical books that automatically updates itself and has unlimited pages. That being said, I'm not sure how powerful of a wizard you have to be to dump enough magic into a book for it to catalog that much, and all at once.[/QUOTE]
Putting it into normal print would most likely make the elves extinct and make wood the most prized of materials. Forget adamantine. That shit's like dirt compared to wood.
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