The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim V5: But there is one they fear - Dragon porn!

[Kolei]

[QUOTE=DrasarSalman;32554319]What about normal clothing?[/QUOTE]

-snip-

[QUOTE=Hashmere;32554565]I just hope that they don't try to make up for the putty face people in Oblivion by making every girl in Skyrim a super model. Attractive girls are great to have around but when that's the only thing on the market, it gets stale.[/QUOTE]

It's probably less stale than the consistently ugly variety of women in Oblivion.

[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Image macro" - Orkel))[/highlight]

[ROFLBURGER]

I don't like the new Argonian. LOOK HOW TINY IT'S ARMS AND HANDS ARE. I don't want to play as a tiny T-Rex

[Aerkhan]

[QUOTE=red_pharoah;32541445]If lightning doesn't spread through water I'm going to be so mad

[editline]29th September 2011[/editline]

final version[/QUOTE]

oblivion 2 v6

[ROFLBURGER]

Wait, I think it's because his head looks to big.

My precious automerge

[Aerkhan]

next title should be;

Oblivion 2: Skyrim V6 - Old naked people's body sharing fishing secrets

[Kolei]

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;32554634]I don't like the new Argonian. LOOK HOW TINY IT'S ARMS AND HANDS ARE. I don't want to play as a tiny T-Rex[/QUOTE]

I think you can make any race of the beefy nordic variety.

[silentjubjub]

Oh yeah,

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/38uPB.jpg[/IMG]

[PhantomGamers]

Preorder cancelled. Save me the nightmares.

[Framperton]

I really wonder what it would feel like if a mudcrab bit you. probably wouldn't hurt at all.

Why cant you just kick them on their backs and step on them is my question.

[PhantomGamers]

[QUOTE=Framperton;32555361]I really wonder what it would feel like if a mudcrab bit you. probably wouldn't hurt at all..[/QUOTE]

No pain, of course, unless you find instant-death-to-hell-forever-torture painful.
Nasty things.

[ROFLBURGER]

[QUOTE=silentjubjub;32551315][b]Here's some (slightly) better quality ones from PCG.[/b] They didn't have the northern light picture in there though so I put one another in it's place.

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/UHZn2.jpg[/IMG]
[/QUOTE]

Looks like he's playing Mario Kart on the Wii

[Aerkhan]

[QUOTE=silentjubjub;32555067]Oh yeah,

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/38uPB.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]

Well fuck.
I don't even want to THINK about the Giant versions.

[Dovahkiin]

dude, mudcrabs are the reincarnation of all the evil in tamriel, why the fuck would it need armor.

[Minilandstan]

[QUOTE=Dovahkiin;32556533]dude, mudcrabs are the reincarnation of all the evil in tamriel, why the fuck would it need armor.[/QUOTE]

[I]I'VE FOUGHT MUDCRABS HARDER THAN YOU![/I]

[DrasarSalman]

[QUOTE=Dovahkiin;32556533]dude, mudcrabs are the reincarnation of all the evil in Tam'riel, why the fuck would it need armor.[/QUOTE]

So each time a hero emergences from a dungeon to fight a new evil, it is always caused by mudcrabs.

[Rats808]

[QUOTE=minilandstan;32556648][I]I'VE FOUGHT MUDCRABS HARDER THAN YOU![/I][/QUOTE]

For some reason this made me think
[I]I'VE SUCKED DICKS HARDER THAN YOU![/I]

...yeah, just uh, leave the gaybows over there

[DrasarSalman]

[QUOTE=minilandstan;32556648][I]I'VE FOUGHT MUDCRABS MORE FEARSOME THAN YOU![/I][/QUOTE]

ftfy

[Nanamil]

Mudcrab armor DLC.

[Aerkhan]

[QUOTE=Dovahkiin;32556533]dude, mudcrabs are the reincarnation of all the evil in tamriel, why the fuck would it need armor.[/QUOTE]

Back in ye olde days, there was dragons and mudcrabs.
An ancient war broke out between those two monstrous creatures of might and magic.
The Dragonborn and the Mudcrabborn also joined in the fight.
However when the Dragons and their Born gained the upper hand, the Mudcrabs and their Born used their fearsome Symbiotic Bond to convince the Cliffracers and their Born to join in on the fight to destroy the Dragons and their born.
Cliffracer Races were one of the Dragons weaknesses, and so the Dragons all died out, but not long after that, the Mudcrabs and their born used their Bonds to drive back the Cliffracers to Morrowind.

But we are getting off track here. Back in ye olde days, because of the Dragons, Mudcrabs were giant, and respected among many heroes, nobles and commons alike, and so they made armor for them.
After the Dragons and their Born died out, they did not need armor anymore, and save for a few, they shrank, as a part of evolution of their race. For as there are no dragons, they did not need to be giant anymore.

[sp]And it's allot more fun when the unsuspecting hero is killed by a teeny weenie mudcrab.
But mudcrabs don't have tiny dicks, no, they are the size of a colossus. Nexus told me. [/sp]

[Dovahkiin]

[QUOTE=Aerkhan;32557197]Back in ye olde days, there was dragons and mudcrabs.
An ancient war broke out between those two monstrous creatures of might and magic.
The Dragonborn and the Mudcrabborn also joined in the fight.
However when the Dragons and their Born gained the upper hand, the Mudcrabs and their Born used their fearsome Symbiotic Bond to convince the Cliffracers and their Born to join in on the fight to destroy the Dragons and their born.
Cliffracer Races were one of the Dragons weaknesses, and so the Dragons all died out, but not long after that, the Mudcrabs and their born used their Bonds to drive back the Cliffracers to Morrowind.

But we are getting off track here. Back in ye olde days, because of the Dragons, Mudcrabs were giant, and respected among many heroes, nobles and commons alike, and so they made armor for them.
After the Dragons and their Born died out, they did not need armor anymore, and save for a few, they shrank, as a part of evolution of their race. For as there are no dragons, they did not need to be giant anymore.

[sp]And it's allot more fun when the unsuspecting hero is killed by a teeny weenie mudcrab.
But mudcrabs don't have tiny dicks, no, they are the size of a colossus. Nexus told me. [/sp][/QUOTE]

I imagined this in Jauffre's voice, from oblivion. like an old man telling this story to his grandson.

[ROFLBURGER]

Jauffre having a grandson? I can't imagine him making babies.
Well, maybe with an Orc... Or a mudcrab...

[Dovahkiin]

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;32557486]Jauffre having a grandson? I can't imagine him making babies.
Well, maybe with an Orc... Or a mudcrab...[/QUOTE]
I meant just his voice, the old man part being like a random NPC telling that to a kid.

[ROFLBURGER]

[QUOTE=Dovahkiin;32557570]I meant just his voice, the old man part being like a random NPC telling that to a kid.[/QUOTE]

I see what you meant. Like if you eavesdrop on him and the kid it would activate the quest "Finding the holy giant mudcrab crown" where you go in a dungeon and solve a bunch of riddles involving mudcrabs.

Some of the questions would be like:
"HOW MANY LETTERS ARE THERE IN THE SENTENCE: MUDCRABS KICK DRAGON ASS ANY DAY"
"HOW MUCH MUD CAD MUDCRABS FLOOD IF A MUDCRAB WOULD FLOOD A FLOOD"
"HUMANS < MUDCRAB, TRUE OR FALSE"

Then you would get a crown if you defeat the mud crab king when he awakens in his mud crab slumber.

The crown would give you resistance to fire and the ability to command mudcrabs.

And all that would be DLC for $29.99

[Jericho_Rus]

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;32557486]Jauffre having a grandson? I can't imagine him making babies.
Well, maybe with an Orc... Or a mudcrab...[/QUOTE]
[B]And please, let me know if there's something you need from my chest...in the reading room.[/B]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHL7zyLsQ2k[/media]

[editline]30th September 2011[/editline]

[B]baby.[/B]

[Generic.Monk]

[QUOTE=Jericho_Rus;32557871][B]And please, let me know if there's something you need from my chest...in the reading room.[/B]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHL7zyLsQ2k[/media]

[editline]30th September 2011[/editline]

[B]baby.[/B][/QUOTE]

that was fucking amazing

[Gilboron]

Look what I made.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nkk8bozxoOA[/media]
Obviously based on the Mega Man 5 intro.

[hypno-toad]

[QUOTE=Gilboron;32558010]Look what I made.

Obviously based on the Mega Man 5 intro.[/QUOTE]

:10bux: zenimax removes the video for the "licensed by zenimax"

also, needed this

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgoIUu1evHA[/media]

[Mr Shadyface]

Think about it. Big ass Nord. Spends the majority of his time hitting shit with a hammer the size of a child. Can shatter a dragons skull with a single blow.

Locked out of a room by a small wooden door because he didn't spend much time fiddling with a lockpick.

See my point here?

[SupaBastad]

[QUOTE=Mr Shadyface;32558073]Think about it. Big ass Nord. Spends the majority of his time hitting shit with a hammer the size of a child. Can shatter a dragons skull with a single blow.

Locked out of a room by a small wooden door because he didn't spend much time fiddling with a lockpick.

See my point here?[/QUOTE]

Will be modded in rather quickly. Unless we need a script extender which might take a bit longer. Lock bash mods in Fallout 3/NV were pretty well done but I recall the one in oblivion being terrible.

[hypno-toad]

[QUOTE=Mr Shadyface;32558073]Think about it. Big ass Nord. Spends the majority of his time hitting shit with a hammer the size of a child. Can shatter a dragons skull with a single blow.

Locked out of a room by a small wooden door because he didn't spend much time fiddling with a lockpick.

See my point here?[/QUOTE]

You could bash down doors in TES:II daggerfall.

Hell, Bethesda needs to reevaluate many of the features in daggerfall, because there's so much shit that game did right.... Wall climbing, sneak not needing to involve crouch,
banks to store your vast quantities of dosh, and above all, the advantages and disadvantages trait system that was wholly and infinitely awesome