40k Pundemic courtesy of PC Gamer UK.
[QUOTE=]The Blood Sporks:
The first clan of Orks to fall under the sway of the punderstorm aimed too high with their wordplay. Their attempts to combine the bloodsport of Auerlian gigafox hunting, oversized spork-based weaponry AND the fact that they're Orks resulted in over 600 deaths on the first day. The short-lived clan ended when their chief Weirdboy suddenly yelled 'I gets it!' and exploded in a shower of snapped plastic prongs. There were no survivors.
Ivory Tanners:
In an attempt to both get in on the punfight and class up their act, one caste of the high-tech Tau ruled that all their armour must be made of ivory. This had two unfortunate consequences. One, since the only source of ivory sufficient enough to equip the entire caste was the mighty Squiggoths, they attacked a herd of the deadliest beasts in the Ork ranks. Two, since they had not yet obtained the ivory, they were unarmoured. There were no survivors.
Sweetkhone:
One of the most unusual cultural clashes caused by the pun plague came in the form of these maize-themed Chaos Warriors. While they claimed to remain loyal to the god of violence and murder, Khorne, the Sweetkhorne faction chose to show their devotion through peaceful grain-based agricultural projects. When a passing Bloodthirster heard their irrigation cry, "Flood for the flood crop!" there were no survivors.
Zergle:
Outraged when the Great Unclean One failed to qualify for the Global StarCraft 2 League, one splinter faction of the disease god Nurgle's followers decided to play their favoruite race in real life. The daemon designated every follower under two metres in height a zergling - some 384,000 in total - and ordered them all to attack the nearest Space Marine outpost before they "go 2-rax banshee and roflstomp us." There were no survivors.
Necronphilliacs:
There were no survivors.[/QUOTE]
I'll try not to hate on your heresy
But I cant promethium nothing
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wex1Bn2Xodk&feature=related[/url]
Probably late but I lol'd
[QUOTE=Joxalot;32304825]I'll try not to hate on your heresy
But I cant promethium nothing[/QUOTE]
eh
D+ must try harder
[QUOTE=Joxalot;32302886]Imperial bananas
[editline]15th September 2011[/editline]
No one knew but the issue with the Blood Ravens having half of the chapter going chaos was just a plan so they could multiply their amount of relics gifted. Next step is sending one of them to either the Deathwatch, Tau empire or to Mars[/QUOTE]
Cyrus was in the death watch for over 200 years.
They already had a guy in there the entire time.
So...I don't know the universe at all. Can someone give me a quick rundown on Nemeroth? He looks like he was a Space Marine at one point, but now he's all...crazy.
[QUOTE=Zinayzen;32306685]So...I don't know the universe at all. Can someone give me a quick rundown on Nemeroth? He looks like he was a Space Marine at one point, but now he's all...crazy.[/QUOTE]
In short. [b]CHAOSSSSSSSSSSS[/b]
I noticed there is no imperial guardsman colouring thingy
[IMG]http://i54.tinypic.com/20hmv10.jpg[/IMG]
Needs longer arms
[QUOTE=Zinayzen;32306685]So...I don't know the universe at all. Can someone give me a quick rundown on Nemeroth? He looks like he was a Space Marine at one point, but now he's all...crazy.[/QUOTE]
The Legions of Chaos are formed with renegade Imperial Guardsmen, Space Marines, Tech Priests and imperial citizens.
So yes, he is a former Space Marine, probably an ex-captain or possibly even a marine from the Horus Heresy.
Was anybody else surprised that relic added [sp]renegade Imperial Guardsmen to Space Marine?[/sp]
I mean, i thought that the game was going to be dumbed down a bit for people new to 40k, but i was wrong.
Also, can you actually compose an army made only of renegade Imperial Guard or are renegade Imperial Guard simply a support army or whatever you call it for Chaos?
[QUOTE=Hoboharry;32308429]Was anybody else surprised that relic added [sp]renegade Imperial Guardsmen to Space Marine?[/sp]
I mean, i thought that the game was going to be dumbed down a bit for people new to 40k, but i was wrong.
Also, can you actually compose an army made only of renegade Imperial Guard or are renegade Imperial Guard simply a support army or whatever you call it for Chaos?[/QUOTE]
It would probably just be your every day Guard army but with Chaos markings.
Renegade and Heretics are two different things Boba.
There are groups of Space Marines, Imperial Guard, etc who are wanted by the Imperium but aren't chaos worshippers. While heretics are renegades to throw them together isn't necessarily right. One of the traitor legions joined Horus out of necessity to save the Imperium.
But in actuality I believe Nemeroth is from one of the random warbands in the eye of terror who worship chaos undivided.
I actually was surprised to see heretics guardsmen around.
Then I became happy when I swept my thunderhammer around and annihilated an entire squad of them.
[url]http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/M42[/url]
Only just realised how fucked the Imperium is. Jesus Christ. AND 3 Tyranid fleets are entering the galaxy to! Can't wait until the story is continued in the next Codex or something.
[QUOTE=gtaftw;32308876][url]http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/M42[/url]
Only just realised how fucked the Imperium is. Jesus Christ. AND 3 Tyranid fleets are entering the galaxy to! Can't wait until the story is continued in the next Codex or something.[/QUOTE]
How did i not notice this before?
The Imperium's pretty much fucked.
Well, everything's fucked, seeing as the Necrons are awakening at a rapidly increased rate.
I think their best chance would give ground to the Tau and plant Inquisitors on said given ground to incite rebellion among Imperial worlds. Also try to give ground along the area the tyranid are coming. Focus on fighting back chaos and unfortunately give up the fight with the Necron. If the Necron continue pushing further direct their expansion towards the eye of terror or at least in the direction of the Tyranid hive fleets.
To be honest, i think the Imperium has the best chance of survival if they team up with the Tau.
[QUOTE=gtaftw;32308876]story is continued[/QUOTE]
lol
[QUOTE=darkrei9n;32309034]I think their best chance would give ground to the Tau and plant Inquisitors on said given ground to incite rebellion among Imperial worlds.[/quote]
What would they accomplish with this? Just curious.
[QUOTE=darkrei9n;32309034]Also try to give ground along the area the tyranid are coming.[/quote]
Give ground how? Exterminatus the worlds? The Imperium can't do that or they'll soon be hanging to Terra, Luna and Mars only.
[QUOTE=darkrei9n;32309034]Focus on fighting back chaos and unfortunately give up the fight with the Necron. If the Necron continue pushing further direct their expansion towards the eye of terror or at least in the direction of the Tyranid hive fleets.[/QUOTE]
While Tyranid-Necron conflicts may have happened, Tyranids generally steer clear of tomb worlds so conflict between the two is not very likely. And how do you even direct the Necron to fight a foe you want them to? Luckily they're already trying to seal up the Eye of Terror, so maybe they'll go and clean Cadia of all life, Imperial and Chaos alike. And construct additional pylons.
[editline]16th September 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Hoboharry;32309106]To be honest, i think the Imperium has the best chance of survival if they team up with the Tau.[/QUOTE]
The Tau tech is just a lot of flashy stuff, and while they're technologically progressive they're still way behind the Imperium in most tech. What should the Imperium do, try to reason with the religious fanatics they're allied with to use xeno tech and abandon their pure machine spirits?
The Tau are [I]nothing[/I]. Literally. The only advantage they can give is tech, and i think it's pretty obvious the Imperium is just going to laugh at it. The Tau have zero resources. None. Their ENTIRE holdings were threatened by a splinter from a tendril of a SCOUT force of a hive fleet. They are tiny, tiny tiny. Any of the other powers are capable of wiping them completely off the map in matter of [I]weeks[/I], and that's if they fight a conventional war, as opposed to just pulling out the big shit and splattering them from a system's distance.
Saying the Tau can help the Imperium is like saying Paris can defeat the Soviet Union. No, they fucking can't. No way, no how.
The Tau are a fine race, but it's been completely water tight established that they are at BEST a nuisance to the other races.
reality check.
[QUOTE=Zezibesh;32309228]lol
What would they accomplish with this? Just curious.
This would keep the Tau busy. They would need to please the populace and with imperial citizens rebelling it would tie up resources.
Give ground how? Exterminatus the worlds? The Imperium can't do that or they'll soon be hanging to Terra, Luna and Mars only.
You're not going to give ground all the way down to freaking Terra.
While Tyranid-Necron conflicts may have happened, Tyranids generally steer clear of tomb worlds so conflict between the two is not very likely. And how do you even direct the Necron to fight a foe you want them to? Luckily they're already trying to seal up the Eye of Terror, so maybe they'll go and clean Cadia of all life, Imperial and Chaos alike. And construct additional pylons.
If the location of tomb worlds are known provide a huge source of biological resources for the nids to use, to act as bait for them. Make the nids waste as much resources as possible fighting someone else and focus on getting ready to hold off the remainder.
[editline]16th September 2011[/editline]
The Tau tech is just a lot of flashy stuff, and while they're technologically progressive they're still way behind the Imperium in most tech. What should the Imperium do, try to reason with the religious fanatics they're allied with to use xeno tech and abandon their pure machine spirits?[/QUOTE]
The thing with nids vs necron is, that nids simply avoid even nice and lush death worlds and tasty tasty hive worlds simply because there's a necron tomb underneath.
Seeing as hive worlds needs a fuck ton of offworld resource even to exists, getting your routes cut off is a bad thing.
[QUOTE=Zezibesh;32309228]The Tau tech is just a lot of flashy stuff, and while they're technologically progressive they're still way behind the Imperium in most tech. What should the Imperium do, try to reason with the religious fanatics they're allied with to use xeno tech and abandon their pure machine spirits?[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=27X;32309283]The Tau are [I]nothing[/I]. Literally. The only advantage they can give is tech, and i think it's pretty obvious the Imperium is just going to laugh at it. The Tau have zero resources. None. Their ENTIRE holdings were threatened by a splinter from a tendril of a SCOUT force of a hive fleet. They are tiny, tiny tiny. Any of the other powers are capable of wiping them completely off the map in matter of [I]weeks[/I], and that's if they fight a conventional war, as opposed to just pulling out the big shit and splattering them from a system's distance.
Saying the Tau can help the Imperium is like saying Paris can defeat the Soviet Union. No, they fucking can't. No way, no how.
The Tau are a fine race, but it's been completely water tight established that they are at BEST a nuisance to the other races.
reality check.[/QUOTE]
But imagine if they could fuse Tau technology with Imperial technology.
We know that the Tau have high-maintenance yet effective weaponry, opposite to the Imperium's low-maintenance and easy to make weaponry.
If they could find a way to optimize either the las weaponry or plasma rifles, such as a low-maintenance plasma rifle or an upgraded lasgun, they could have a fighting chance against the Necrons.
The Necrons are kinda intentionally gimping themselves to instill fear though
Their weapons are amazing but the troops themselves are nothing special
Look at their starships to find the OP stuff
[QUOTE=Zezibesh;32309959]The Necrons are kinda intentionally gimping themselves to instill fear though
Their weapons are amazing but the troops themselves are nothing special
Look at their starships to find the OP stuff[/QUOTE]
I know their starships can basically travel to one part of the universe in like a second or so, but what else is OP about their starships?
[QUOTE=Hoboharry;32309851]But imagine if they could fuse Tau technology with Imperial technology.
We know that the Tau have high-maintenance yet effective weaponry, opposite to the Imperium's low-maintenance and easy to make weaponry.
If they could find a way to optimize either the las weaponry or plasma rifles, such as a low-maintenance plasma rifle or an upgraded lasgun, they could have a fighting chance against the Necrons.[/QUOTE]
On the ground, possibly. In an all-out large scale action? No. It's just impossible.
Well if 40k operated in any degree of logic the fact that they have built an inertialess drive would already make them absolutely undefeatable.
A group of their [I]scout ships[/I] (infiltrators, to be fair) managed to fly through the defenses in Sol which has the most concentrated firepower of any single location in the setting, land some troops on Mars, and then get blown to bits. Most were shot on journey, but that's still a pretty good indication on how advanced their ships are.
[quote]n 998.M41, five Shroud-class Light Cruisers assaulted the Adeptus Mechanicus facility on Mars. Several managed to land on the soil of Mars itself and although they were all destroyed in the end, their hulks were never found. [/quote]
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