[QUOTE=Katatonic717;41121269]A while back our group played Only War. We had a pretty stock unit, a sergeant, a marksman, an armsmaster, and a Commissar. I was playing the commissar.
So we had to go to this place with tanks and tanks of that oil stuff in 40k (I completely forgot what it was called, so it's going to be called "oil stuff") and we couldn't use traditional weaponry because, y'know, oil stuff is KIND OF flammable and we'd 'splode everything. The arms master went to use the mounted lascannon on the vehicle we had, but he critically failed and broke the fucking thing as well as his arms.
The marksman was the only one trained in first-aid AND las weaponry, so he had to tend to the armsmaster's fucked up arms, or else his multiple compound fractures would make him bleed out. (House rules yo)
Since every other weapon we had were bolters or explosives, we couldn't do shit.
Until I said "Okay you worthless filth pots, move over and let me drive this thing!"
I drove over every single ork.
All of them.
I rolled crit after crit.
All that was left was just piles of blood and chunks after I pretty much steamrolled every single ork in sight.
Oh! I forgot the last part!
So the DM was getting pissed at me pretty much one shotting everything with the fucking vehicle. So he said "after multiple cases of vehicular orkslaughter, the transport breaks down."
Fuck.
Then from one of the barracks, bursts an ork warboss.
Double fuck.
Behind him there are a shit load of fuel tanks.
[b]"WUT YOU GUNNA DO!? SHOOT ME UHND 'SPLODE DA HOLE PLASE!? AHAHAHAH!"[/b]
I throw the spare tire at him.
I crit.
DM gets pissed "No! You have to roll three crits to do it!"
I fucking do it.
Warboss dies instantly.
I flick the ashes from my pipe on his corpse.
DM leaves table and doesn't come back for like a half hour.
And so, Commissar Maximo Doomtires was born.[/QUOTE]
You need to post that on /tg/. You need to post that now.
[QUOTE=Katatonic717;41121269]The arms master went to use the mounted lascannon on the vehicle we had, but he critically failed and broke the fucking thing as well as his arms.[/QUOTE]
I wanted to read the rest but picturing this in my head nearly killed me with laughter
[QUOTE=Katatonic717;41121269](I completely forgot what it was called, so it's going to be called "oil stuff")[/QUOTE]
Promethium
[QUOTE=Katatonic717;41121269]And so, Commissar Maximo Doomtires was born.[/QUOTE]
If I ever play Only War I want to do so as a Commissar. Maximo Doomtires will be my hero.
The dark heresy game I ran, the scum wanted to make a search roll to find explosives. The exact reason escapes me, but explosives.
He rolls a 1 (percentile system, remember).
They came across a truck loading demo charges, which of course they wound up exploding along with several trucks (they had a running competition over those) after they'd grabbed a few for themselves.
Come monday, Pheta Cell will be raiding a Hive Stack that's been taken over by Khornate Genestealers.
[img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/howardtreesong/limo-1.jpg[/img]
Fuck yeah!
After a while of inactivity, our Only War group got together again for a session and I feel the expression "shit hitting the fan" is quite adequate to describe how it went. Originally our mission was a fairly simple stealth mission to take out a few anti-air defences to allow a Valkyrie to drop off a bunch of reinforcements and then take over a air traffic control tower with a group of psykers inside. And everything went according to plan: we meet up with a squad of Catachan jungle fighters on the way there and together we stealthily take out the enemies and the anti-air defences in the area, with the catachans taking care of a massive Hydra anti-air battery that was the biggest threat. After that, we were sitting around for a while, waiting for the reinforcements to arrive and then things started to go off plan. First of all, the Imperial Guard apparently changed the timetable of their plans, starting the attack on a nearby city a day early, beginning with bombers flattening the enemy defences. After that, the Valkyrie we were waiting for arrived, but the catachans apparently have no mechanical apitude because they forgot to actually turn off the goddamn Hydra, meaning it's machine spirit shot down the Valkyrie which then crash landed near the tower we were supposed to storm.
Luckily someone had decided to send up another Valkyrie, which proceeded to destroy the Hydra and drop off reinforcements and we immediately started storming the tower. After a bit of fighting the aforementioned "shit hitting the fan" happened, when our own artillery started to bombard the area we were in. Everyone made Willpower checks to see how our characters reacted to it, and everyone failed. Me and another guy were lucky, we just went unconscious. Our pilot/sniper however, started to cry and tearing at her own flesh which was slightly worse. But our Stormtrooper totally fucking lost it. When the bombarding started, he was standing at a completely open area with only a smoke bomb in between him and the enemy troops. When the first bomb hit, he dove down, but after a small moment he stood up again, laughing maniacally, took aim, and started to indiscriminately shoot everything that moved, namely the catachans that were helping us. Beginning with their captain and continuing until the catachans charged him, took him down and dragged him away. By that point, he had single handedly killed half of their squad.
TLDR: An average Only War session
[QUOTE=cyclocius;41124089]Come monday, Pheta Cell will be raiding a Hive Stack that's been taken over by Khornate Genestealers.
[img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/howardtreesong/limo-1.jpg[/img]
Fuck yeah![/QUOTE]
We already pimpslapped a bunch on another planet. I'll prepare the one-liners.
[QUOTE=Katatonic717;41121269]A while back our group played Only War. We had a pretty stock unit, a sergeant, a marksman, an armsmaster, and a Commissar. I was playing the commissar.
So we had to go to this place with tanks and tanks of that oil stuff in 40k (I completely forgot what it was called, so it's going to be called "oil stuff") and we couldn't use traditional weaponry because, y'know, oil stuff is KIND OF flammable and we'd 'splode everything. The arms master went to use the mounted lascannon on the vehicle we had, but he critically failed and broke the fucking thing as well as his arms.
The marksman was the only one trained in first-aid AND las weaponry, so he had to tend to the armsmaster's fucked up arms, or else his multiple compound fractures would make him bleed out. (House rules yo)
Since every other weapon we had were bolters or explosives, we couldn't do shit.
Until I said "Okay you worthless filth pots, move over and let me drive this thing!"
I drove over every single ork.
All of them.
I rolled crit after crit.
All that was left was just piles of blood and chunks after I pretty much steamrolled every single ork in sight.
So the DM was getting pissed at me pretty much one shotting everything with the fucking vehicle. So he said "after multiple cases of vehicular orkslaughter, the transport breaks down."
Fuck.
Then from one of the barracks, bursts an ork warboss.
Double fuck.
Behind him there are a shit load of fuel tanks.
[b]"WUT YOU GUNNA DO!? SHOOT ME UHND 'SPLODE DA HOLE PLASE!? AHAHAHAH!"[/b]
I throw the spare tire at him.
I crit.
DM gets pissed "No! You have to roll three crits to do it!"
I fucking do it.
Warboss dies instantly.
I flick the ashes from my pipe on his corpse.
DM leaves table and doesn't come back for like a half hour.
And so, Commissar Maximo Doomtires was born.[/QUOTE]
Sounds like he might be related to my Brick, speaking of which, Beaf's Fallout PNP is happening tonight, and apparently shit will go down :v:
[QUOTE=doomkiwi;41122295]You need to post that on /tg/. You need to post that now.[/QUOTE]
[url]http://boards.4chan.org/tg/res/25565711[/url]
I also include the story of how he blew up a space-hulk.
[QUOTE=Dwarfy77;41129226]Sounds like he might be related to my Brick, speaking of which, Beaf's Fallout PNP is happening tonight, and apparently shit will go down :v:[/QUOTE]
I would describe said shit, of which you well know you will be involved in, but that would spoil anybody who will be playing it, so you all will have to settle for waiting until after the game to hear about the shit.
[editline]21st June 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Katatonic717;41131146][url]http://boards.4chan.org/tg/res/25565711[/url]
I also include the story of how he blew up a space-hulk.[/QUOTE]
I found the comment with "LOL I HAD THIS CHARACTER ONCE, AND HE ONLY EVER ROLLED CRITS FOR EVERYTHING
>HIS NAME WAS CRITLORD MC CRITSON, A CRIT TRADER IN THE FAR REACHES OF THE ULTIMA CRITMENTU" rather amusing :v:
[QUOTE=Aperture fan;41131961]I would describe said shit, of which you well know you will be involved in, but that would spoil anybody who will be playing it, so you all will have to settle for waiting until after the game to hear about the shit.
[editline]21st June 2013[/editline]
I found the comment with "LOL I HAD THIS CHARACTER ONCE, AND HE ONLY EVER ROLLED CRITS FOR EVERYTHING
>HIS NAME WAS CRITLORD MC CRITSON, A CRIT TRADER IN THE FAR REACHES OF THE ULTIMA CRITMENTU" rather amusing :v:[/QUOTE]
[quote]CRITLORD MC CRITSON back to wow you all again
This one time I said to my DM
"I offer a short prayer to the emperor."
>DM: Roll to pray
>Roll a zero on a d100
>The fabric of spacetime is beginning to warp and shift irl, over the rising gale I hear the DM screaming about how I have achieved apotheosis, for I am truly the lost fragment of the emperor's soul, and my prayer has reunited me with Him on the throne.
>The DM and all the other players are hanging on to the table now to avoid being sucked in to a black hole which spontaneously came in to existance due to my impossible crit
>Capering blue daemons begin crawling out of the hole
>A figure of utter madness steps forth, all who look upon it die, the earth is scoured of all life
>A halo of golden fires lights me from behind, the flaming sword appears in my grasp, and I stare in to the numberless howling mouths of Lord Tzeench, I hear the truth. I listen to the words of a being beyond sanity and madness, with wisdom that could crack the very seams of causality with its profoundness
>I vanquish it and use my omniscient level reality warping powers to return everything to normal
I think I should stop rolling dice[/quote]
Made me almost fall out of my chair, I was laughing so hard.
Act one of the Fallout PnP has concluded.
My thoughts?
Appy is a [I]fantastic[/I] GM and everybody is fun as hell to be with.
Couldn't of had anybody better to start tabletopping with.
And now, for the aforementioned shit:
In a Fallout PnP, the Brotherhood of Steel had created a new and more destructive type of nuclear bomb which they had planted in Times Square, in Manhattan. They wanted to level the city to get rid of the Commonwealth. The party, after getting wind of this, tells their allies the Enclave. The Enclave rush to the rescue and fighting begins.
Then the Commonwealth, and their army of androids, come, and begin doubly fucking shit up. Afterwards, a character from an old party, Brick, parachutes down out of a Vertibird on a bear wearing an ushanka. He then proceeds to punch 7 guys to death in 1 turn.
Gorgutz, the local "super mutant" shop keeper of Gunz End Booletz and who the party sold a car to, WAAAGH!s in, pops the trunk and tells the party to pick out some good dakka, cause it's gonna be a great foight.
After some back and forth between all parties, an ice cream truck-like van with a giant cleaver on top of the van instead of the usual ice cream cone drives in and starts slaughtering people, playing "Butcher Pete" on repeat. Out of the back of the van hops a man in a hybrid Winterized T-51B/Enclave armor/Riley's Rangers combat armor, with a large "101" painted on his back carrying 20 guns, who proceeds to fuck even more shit up.
Then an earthquake happened.
Over the rubble of a collapsed building, an army of raiders, drawn by the carnage, approaches. The leader shouts, "I HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE!" Shit goes down and they join the carnage.
After more fighting, the bomb was close to exploding. Brick decides to tell everyone he has a PhD in nuclear physics, and we let him defuse the bomb.
He begins punching it. This defuses the bomb.
Now the party and Enclave are getting overwhelmed by the Commonwealth, Brotherhood and Raiders. EAGLE, a patriotic robot who had a flamethrower, MESON cannon (basically a weaponized large hadron collider), .50 cal machine gun, a 5mm minigun and a melta gun which was broken and fixed by Gorgutz all mounted to him, stays back to cover their retreat.
He dies in the name of Freedom.
The battle in a nutshell:
[t]http://i.imgur.com/cVeA3qa.jpg[/t]
[QUOTE=Aperture fan;41136683]And now, for the aforementioned shit:
In a Fallout PnP, the Brotherhood of Steel had created a new and more destructive type of nuclear bomb which they had planted in Times Square, in Manhattan. They wanted to level the city to get rid of the Commonwealth. The party, after getting wind of this, tells their allies the Enclave. The Enclave rush to the rescue and fighting begins.
Then the Commonwealth, and their army of androids, come, and begin doubly fucking shit up. Afterwards, a character from an old party, Brick, parachutes down out of a Vertibird on a bear wearing an ushanka. He then proceeds to punch 7 guys to death in 1 turn.
Gorgutz, the local "super mutant" shop keeper of Gunz End Booletz and who the party sold a car to, WAAAGH!s in, pops the trunk and tells the party to pick out some good dakka, cause it's gonna be a great foight.
After some back and forth between all parties, an ice cream truck-like van with a giant cleaver on top of the van instead of the usual ice cream cone drives in and starts slaughtering people, playing "Butcher Pete" on repeat. Out of the back of the van hops a man in a hybrid Winterized T-51B/Enclave armor/Riley's Rangers combat armor, with a large "101" painted on his back carrying 20 guns, who proceeds to fuck even more shit up.
Then an earthquake happened.
Over the rubble of a collapsed building, an army of raiders, drawn by the carnage, approaches. The leader shouts, "I HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE!" Shit goes down and they join the carnage.
After more fighting, the bomb was close to exploding. Brick decides to tell everyone he has a PhD in nuclear physics, and we let him defuse the bomb.
He begins punching it. This defuses the bomb.
Now the party and Enclave are getting overwhelmed by the Commonwealth, Brotherhood and Raiders. EAGLE, a patriotic robot who had a flamethrower, MESON cannon (basically a weaponized large hadron collider), .50 cal machine gun, a 5mm minigun and a melta gun which was broken and fixed by Gorgutz all mounted to him, stays back to cover their retreat.
He dies in the name of Freedom.
The battle in a nutshell:
[t]http://i.imgur.com/cVeA3qa.jpg[/t][/QUOTE]
...Does the entire party have the Wild Wasteland trait or something? :v:
[QUOTE=Aperture fan;41136683]After more fighting, the bomb was close to exploding. Brick decides to tell everyone he has a PhD in nuclear physics, and we let him defuse the bomb.
He begins punching it. This defuses the bomb.[/QUOTE]
This is the part that got me.
So in our dnd game we ran into our bbeg, a weirdass tombtouched warlock thing who called himself the bastion of chaos. Now, the DM had been planning for him to fight us for a round or two and then fuck off.
I and my tanglefoot bag had other plans.
He still got away (fucking walrock bs) but we got to draw out the combat quite excitingly
[QUOTE=DarkMonkey;41141581]So in our dnd game we ran into our bbeg, a weirdass tombtouched warlock thing who called himself the bastion of chaos. Now, the DM had been planning for him to fight us for a round or two and then fuck off.
I and my tanglefoot bag had other plans.
He still got away (fucking walrock bs) but we got to draw out the combat quite excitingly[/QUOTE]
First rule of being BBEG: Never fight the PC's directly, until its the final fight.
Seriously.
[QUOTE=Funktastic Dog;41145194]First rule of being BBEG: Never fight the PC's directly, until its the final fight.
Seriously.[/QUOTE]
I've found teleport contingencies to be very handy for the first encounter or so
Albeit, it's annoying if one overuses it, but for that one-shot emergency getaway it works wonders
In other news, I've been running a D&D group with some friends for a few weeks, 5th level right now. On our second session, they found an underground pyramid with a black box that, to quote myself, 'seems to suck in all sound and light'. One of my players decided to use magic device it. Me being rusty, I decided to allow him a token roll. Of course, he gets a natural 20 and unbound the soul of an elder evil I hadn't anticipating introducing for at least 5 more levels.
This is what I get for using Call of Cthulu dice
So far the BBEG-candidate in my game has had some kind of massive warning every time the players approached, so I just have her portal out since she's a fucking wizard.
[QUOTE=Rats808;41148240]So far the BBEG-candidate in my game has had some kind of massive warning every time the players approached, so I just have her portal out since she's a fucking wizard.[/QUOTE]
Big Boss End Game?
[QUOTE=Codename 47;41151681]Big Boss End Game?[/QUOTE]
Big Bad Evil Guy.
[QUOTE=Codename 47;41151681]Big Boss End Game?[/QUOTE]
Bugs Bunny, Evil Genius.
[QUOTE=Codename 47;41151681]Big Boss End Game?[/QUOTE]
Boring Battle for End Game
[QUOTE=SiberysTranq;41145618]I've found teleport contingencies to be very handy for the first encounter or so[/QUOTE]
Yeah he used some bullshit warlock dimension door-like dealie.
Apparently the party has an orb of localized antimagic they keep in the wagon so I'm thinking I strap that to the next tanglefoot bag I chuck at the fucker, see how well he does then.
In other news over the past 48 hours I've played/run four different games. Highlights later, sleep now.
[QUOTE=Codename 47;41151681]Big Boss End Game?[/QUOTE]
Big Booty EnderGirls
oh nice, the HD re-release of both the old Mystara beat 'em ups got released
good times were had with those games
Dark Heresy game for me today, woo.
Just got through character creation, getting brought in since the story has been going on some already.
My guy's a giant feral worlder guardsman. Illiterate with a fear of written words, like they're an evil magic and such. Gonna be interesting.
So, Friday. Played the aforementioned 3.5 d&d game where I'm the 'barbarian' monster hunter and we tussled with the chaos warlock dude. Other notable events include me making ~700 gold over the course of a month by harvesting excess mucous from our sound paladin's flail snail and peddling it off to alchemists.
Saturday morning, played an online exalted game, a set of dragonblooded looking into a feud in a podunk satrapy. I was actually sent there on suspicions of anathema, there's been word of various exotic animals devouring immaculate missionaries, and we came across a weirdly-intelligent looking bird whose thoughts were unnatural, in a language I couldn't understand when reading them, and now it's following us. I'm scared.
Saturday afternoon, played some 2E d&d with my best bro. Despite him saying that he wanted to do a ravenloft game because it was a full moon, somehow none of us realized we were dealing with a werewolf until we saw the actual transforming footprints. Amusing because at the end we found it was a dude's son who he had chained up so we were just like 'get the fuck out of town we ain't gettin' paid enough for this'
Technically Sunday morning I improvised a game wherein seven dwarves awoke from a magically-induced cryosleep after a long night of drinking and 500 years, and proceeded to attempt to escape through the unfamiliar additions to their dorf fort. Highlights include a pair of dwarven wrasslers managing to fling a forgotten beast (A great alligator made of wood. Beware its tendrils and poisonous bite!) that was hanging out in a reservoir into a wall, finishing it off.
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