Counter-Strike: Global Offensive v4 "Tec9 is a meme gun"

[Archival]

So after seeing all these people constantly going onto that CSGOJackpot website and chucking hundreds of dollars of skins to give themselfes a huge % chance to win I decided to write a little program that would effectively simulate someone starting with 5k worth of skins running through it (based off the average pool sizes ive seen) and 9 times out of 10 it would run out of money within 100 or so tries.

It doesnt matter that your throwing enough to give yourself an 80% chance to win, because when you do lose thats 80% of a pool gone which is effectively your winnings for 4 other pools meaning it doesnt matter that you put so much in, you still effectively end up losing just as much, if not more as when you get the innevitable loss streak there goes fukin everything.

[tau]

[QUOTE=archival;47769906]So after seeing all these people constantly going onto that CSGOJackpot website and chucking hundreds of dollars of skins to give themselfes a huge % chance to win I decided to write a little program that would effectively simulate someone starting with 5k worth of skins running through it (based off the average pool sizes ive seen) and 9 times out of 10 it would run out of money within 100 or so tries.

It doesnt matter that your throwing enough to give yourself an 80% chance to win, because when you do lose thats 80% of a pool gone which is effectively your winnings for 4 other pools meaning it doesnt matter that you put so much in, you still effectively end up losing just as much, if not more as when you get the innevitable loss streak there goes fukin everything.[/QUOTE]

Assuming that n is the size of the jackpot and x is your input, your average earnings are y,

Your average winnings are given by (x/n)(n-x) because (x/n) is your chance of winning and n-x is your profit.
Your average losses are given by x(n-x)/n because (n-x)/n is your chance of losing and x is your loss.

Therefore, y=(x/n)(n-x)-x(n-x)/n
or
y=0

Unfortunately this means that if the system were perfectly efficient, you'd make winnings of, on average, exactly 0. Seen as people probably take cuts, you will always lose money on it in the long term.

[Resi]

[QUOTE=Duck M.;47769477]Chatbind Spammers are the worst fucking thing. I thought they would be gone by LE but they're still in almost every match.

There should really be restrictions on that sort of thing.[/QUOTE]

[url=http://pastebin.com/xN0tBMug]Am I terrible?[/url]

[TheHatter]

I watch one of my friend's games every now and then and use his insults/rages for binds. (I don't actually use it, it's in its own cfg)

Here is an example:

alias "danker" "dank1"
alias "dank1" "say killed u shitty; alias danker dank2"
alias "dank2" "say ur a virgin that thinks im 16 cuz i smoke; alias danker dank3"
alias "dank3" "say shows how closed minded you are; alias danker dank4"
alias "dank4" "say fucking faggot id hang your mother; alias danker dank5"
alias "dank5" "say while you are watching; alias danker dank6"
alias "dank6" "say geek; alias danker dank7"
alias "dank7" "say i bet you suck ur dads dick; alias danker dank8"
alias "dank8" "say i have a weed bandana roll up on your crib and smash your granny; alias danker dank1"
bind c danker

[lolita la vida]

[QUOTE=Tsanummy;47769495]Report -> Text abuse[/QUOTE]

Don't report or ask people to shut up when both things take longer time than muting the player in question-

[Cuon Alpinus]

Anyone recommend any good mice? I don't really know much about them and have been using the Logitech G400 for a while now. Preferably, I'd like a non-logitech brand wired mouse.

[.Ducky]

[QUOTE=Cuon Alpinus;47772228]Anyone recommend any good mice? I don't really know much about them and have been using the Logitech G400 for a while now. Preferably, I'd like a non-logitech brand wired mouse.[/QUOTE]

I adore my Rival, coming off of intellimouse 3.0.

[Bumrang]

[QUOTE=Cuon Alpinus;47772228]Anyone recommend any good mice? I don't really know much about them and have been using the Logitech G400 for a while now. Preferably, I'd like a non-logitech brand wired mouse.[/QUOTE]

been using the cm storm inferno for 5 years or so now, it's pretty good

[Altimor]

I don't think the 5-7 is that much less powerful than the Tec9. The Tec9 has amazing running accuracy but highly unpredictable recoil and high accuracy loss from firing whereas the 5-7 really excels at the tried and true tactic of shitting out bullets until they die. Not that that's a good thing, both should burn in the fiery depths of hell.

[QUOTE=Cuon Alpinus;47772228]Anyone recommend any good mice? I don't really know much about them and have been using the Logitech G400 for a while now. Preferably, I'd like a non-logitech brand wired mouse.[/QUOTE]

Deathadder 2013 works well for me, only complaint is that the braided cable frays easily. It's the only good product Razer's ever made.

[TheHatter]

Just got smurfed on by a global elite, LEM, and some other people who claimed to be novas but had amazing aim. And the worst thing is, they were streaming it and talking about how bad we were. This is like my 5th game in a row that has ended up being terrible.

Update: My current game is against a 4-queue of smurfs. Help.
Update 2: They ended up being nice and used stratroulette. We won, yay

[jazzpunk]

Designer at Klei wrote about GO: [url]http://inmachinam.com/how-and-why-csgo-works/[/url]

[Altimor]

Oh yeah I have a relevant clip for the Fiveseven

[quote][media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgOrhoPFZlA[/media][/quote]

[Flashcat]

All ESL games cancelled for tonight, I waited around for nothing...

Competitive CSGO events always have ridiculous delays or games just get straight out cancelled from what I've seen so far.

[Altimor]

NA East GE, who wants to play some shitty cheater riddled matchmaking in lieu of always on bitcoin mining? [url]steam://joinlobby/730/109775242067568459/76561198041079311[/url]

[TheHatter]

Can a shitty MG1 join and be of no use to the team?

[Noble Voice]

[QUOTE=residntevl;47771296][url=http://pastebin.com/xN0tBMug]Am I terrible?[/url][/QUOTE]

how do i use this?

[Altimor]

[QUOTE=~Kiwi~v2;47774200]gloating about yourself ay?[/QUOTE]

Eh I consider myself to be a pretty good cheater

Now get in my lobby nerd

[QUOTE=TheHatter;47774202]Can a shitty MG1 join and be of no use to the team?[/QUOTE]

I don't think it'll let me queue with anyone below DMG

[Resi]

[QUOTE=Tompson1997_PL;47774204]how do i use this?[/QUOTE]

bind "p" "trashcan_dice"
bind "mouse3" "whine_dice"

[TheHatter]

[QUOTE=Tompson1997_PL;47774204]how do i use this?[/QUOTE]

Go to:
C:\Program Files (x86)\Steam\steamapps\common\Counter-Strike Global Offensive\csgo\cfg
then do one of the following options. I prefer the first one but that's just me.

1. Make a something.cfg and copy/paste the commands, then add "exec something.cfg" to your autoexec
2. Copy/paste the commands to your autoexec
You may want to get rid of all the blank ones but I dunno

[Noble Voice]

[QUOTE=TheHatter;47774223]Go to:
C:\Program Files (x86)\Steam\steamapps\common\Counter-Strike Global Offensive\csgo\cfg
then do one of the following options. I prefer the first one but that's just me.

1. Make a something.cfg and copy/paste the commands, then add "exec something.cfg" to your autoexec
2. Copy/paste the commands to your autoexec
You may want to get rid of all the blank ones but I dunno[/QUOTE]

I'll add Shadow Warrior fortune cookies fortunes in the blanks now

PS: Should i add something after the exec lines in autoexec.cfg?

[Altimor]

[QUOTE=~Kiwi~v2;47774227]nahh i can't think a damn good reason why i would go that low to play with a cheater willingly[/QUOTE]

Well I'm not cheating anyways [sp]unless you pay me to, I need some money right now[/sp]

EDIT: Alright guess I'll solo and pray

[Resi]

[QUOTE=Tompson1997_PL;47774246]I'll add Shadow Warrior fortune cookies fortunes in the blanks now[/QUOTE]

Be sure to adjust line 626 and onwards if you're going to add more lines.

alias "whine_diceroll_151" "alias whine_result _whine151; alias whine_cycle whine_diceroll_1"
//alias "whine_diceroll_152" "alias whine_result _whine152; alias whine_cycle whine_diceroll_153"

[Resi]

[QUOTE=Tompson1997_PL;47774246]I'll add Shadow Warrior fortune cookies fortunes in the blanks now

PS: Should i add something after the exec lines in autoexec.cfg?[/QUOTE]

exec cfgname.cfg

cfgname = whatever you name the file.

[Altimor]

3rd round, already one guy dropping his weapons and running at the enemy and another team damaging. I'm pretty sure I've been getting shittier teammates than I was at supreme.

[Bumrang]

not like there is a difference between the two ranks anyways

[Shier]

These is though. That's why those ranks exists.

[Bumrang]

[QUOTE=Dom Pyroshark;47774457]These is though. That's why those ranks exists.[/QUOTE]

there are so many hackers in global that you're bound to derank from them

[Altimor]

[QUOTE=Bumrang;47774437]not like there is a difference between the two ranks anyways[/QUOTE]

The difference is not in skill but in queue time and cheaters.

[TheHatter]

I need some help with HLDJ. To preface this, I've already made my songs them 22050 hz, 16-bit PCM, and all that jazz. They play super slow and nothing I've tried has fixed the problem. Anyone know what to do?

[Altimor]

Two games in a row where everyone was just yelling at each other and team damaging, how do people even get to this rank doing that shit

EDIT: This wasn't fucking worth it I'm pretty sure everyone else here is cheating or boosted