Space Station 13 v11 - Admiral Hippie does bad videos

[Jmir 54]

[QUOTE=mecaguy03;49396319]So if you use cutting weapons on the neck can you slit peoples throat? I could swear I remembered that on hippie you could target the neck.[/QUOTE]

I don't remember how it works with cutting weapons but all I know is that shooting a guy in the arm does same amount of damage as shooting someone in the head provided they have no armor

[kiloy]

[QUOTE=Jmir 54;49401514]I don't remember how it works with cutting weapons but all I know is that shooting a guy in the arm does same amount of damage as shooting someone in the head provided they have no armor[/QUOTE]

You probably want to shoot them in the arm or leg considering most armors don't cover there

[Dromlexer]

[QUOTE=Jmir 54;49384432]Ya know, as much as they get a bad rep, I've never been toolboxed to death[/QUOTE]

Neither have I. But I've however at least once been stabbed to death with a fork.

[STRIDERS]

[QUOTE=Dromlexer;49404648]Neither have I. But I've however at least once been stabbed to death with a fork.[/QUOTE]

I once killed a guy using a spoon on goon.

[thisguy123]

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/lZU7Ydb.png?1[/IMG]

Hippie is where you will find love joy and happiness.... gutted, mutilated and strung up from the ceiling ducts.

[myon]

I spent a round dragging a cuffed and buckled tarajan around the station, force-feeding her and reading to her declarations of love, keeping her inches away from death while I was at it.

It's no fun to outright kill the valids, you gotta add some spice on it, y'know.

[thisguy123]

[QUOTE=Limed00d;49415113]I spent a round dragging a cuffed and buckled tarajan around the station, force-feeding her and reading to her declarations of love, keeping her inches away from death while I was at it.

It's no fun to outright kill the valids, you gotta add some spice on it, y'know.[/QUOTE]

Inject them with copious amounts of alcohol, unstable mutagen, use brain surgery to give them retardation and stick a shock pack on them. See how long they go before they go braindead.

[RaccoonBro]

For those on Windows 10 having issues with DreamSeeker crashing when loading into a server, do this:

[url]http://www.byond.com/forum/?post=2008046[/url]

Second post.

[Kierany9]

Holy fuck, I just had the most ridiculous round I've ever had on Hippie. Me and another engineer were figuring out Tcomms for the third round in a row and I'd managed to change the AI's name to "Malfunctioning IBM Piece of Shit". Well unfortunately the AI didn't take too kindly to this and was constantly resetting my shit so we ended up having to cut the cams. The AI sends in its borg to fix the cams. We break them again, cut the AI control to the doors and bolt them. AI responds by setting us to arrest. So we devise a plan to hack the AI and upload a law to tell it to stop dealing with our business. After ages, we get it done but the AI decides send the entire security force, its borgs and the CE to deal with two engineers in tcomms. Instead of, y'know, stopping the fucking cult.

I end up arrested but the other engineer gets free. The HoS is threatening to kill me if I don't call off the AI(even though it was being a shit and not following anything I say because fucking loopholes) and then if the other engineer doesn't turn himself in. A virus is spreading and the HoS gets infected so he runs to the medbay to get the cure. The other engie makes it into the brig with a greyshirt and they break me out. Unfortunately, most of my stuff was confiscated, so I spend the rest of the round downing beer and Gargle Blasters in the blood-filled bar. The shuttle is called and I decide to try and get the last laugh. The AI upload and the circuit boards were gone, but I managed to break into engineering and then get back to Tcomms where I'd left my ID. The only thing you could hear on the radio for the last few minutes was:

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/7NM8Zn3.png?1[/IMG]

I got the last laugh.

[thisguy123]

[QUOTE=Kierany9;49431407]Holy fuck, I just had the most ridiculous round I've ever had on Hippie. Me and another engineer were figuring out Tcomms for the third round in a row and I'd managed to change the AI's name to "Malfunctioning IBM Piece of Shit". Well unfortunately the AI didn't take too kindly to this and was constantly resetting my shit so we ended up having to cut the cams. The AI sends in its borg to fix the cams. We break them again, cut the AI control to the doors and bolt them. AI responds by setting us to arrest. So we devise a plan to hack the AI and upload a law to tell it to stop dealing with our business. After ages, we get it done but the AI decides send the entire security force, its borgs and the CE to deal with two engineers in tcomms. Instead of, y'know, stopping the fucking cult.

I end up arrested but the other engineer gets free. The HoS is threatening to kill me if I don't call off the AI(even though it was being a shit and not following anything I say because fucking loopholes) and then if the other engineer doesn't turn himself in. A virus is spreading and the HoS gets infected so he runs to the medbay to get the cure. The other engie makes it into the brig with a greyshirt and they break me out. Unfortunately, most of my stuff was confiscated, so I spend the rest of the round downing beer and Gargle Blasters in the blood-filled bar. The shuttle is called and I decide to try and get the last laugh. The AI upload and the circuit boards were gone, but I managed to break into engineering and then get back to Tcomms where I'd left my ID. The only thing you could hear on the radio for the last few minutes was:

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/7NM8Zn3.png?1[/IMG]

I got the last laugh.[/QUOTE]

It's good to see another fellow has uncovered the delights of telecoms fuckery, here's a tip for meddling AI, unscrew the monitor and use a crowbar to pry out the glass. This disables the console but the script is running on the server anyway, this means the AI cannot undo it or send a borg to fix it (borgs cannot pick up the glass to put it back in.) and it's easy to fix yourself should you ever need to... just remember to take your ID card out before you unscrew it.

Also if you want to be really mischievous, wait one or two mins after roundstart and take a quick look around, there is nearly always ONE engineer who goes braindead off the bat, nab THEIR ID and use it in the machine, that way the logs get traced to them and not you in case some super vindictive CE or Captain fixes the console and checks the logs.

[Kierany9]

[QUOTE=thisguy123;49434192]It's good to see another fellow has uncovered the delights of telecoms fuckery, here's a tip for meddling AI, unscrew the monitor and use a crowbar to pry out the glass. This disables the console but the script is running on the server anyway, this means the AI cannot undo it or send a borg to fix it (borgs cannot pick up the glass to put it back in.) and it's easy to fix yourself should you ever need to... just remember to take your ID card out before you unscrew it.

Also if you want to be really mischievous, wait one or two mins after roundstart and take a quick look around, there is nearly always ONE engineer who goes braindead off the bat, nab THEIR ID and use it in the machine, that way the logs get traced to them and not you in case some super vindictive CE or Captain fixes the console and checks the logs.[/QUOTE]

Tcomms fuckery isn't just fun, there's so much potential as an antag if you know how to use it. Swap locations around so that Sec goes to the wrong place when there's a call for help, swap your name for somebody elses incase you get found out, censor any message that contain the word revs, impersonate the captain, make the command and security channels public...

[RaccoonBro]

[url]https://github.com/tgstation/-tg-station/pull/14239[/url]

[img]http://i.imgur.com/9FFqEFK.png[/img]

Thankfully didn't get merged but jesus christ hornygranny

[thisguy123]

[QUOTE=Kierany9;49434306]Tcomms fuckery isn't just fun, there's so much potential as an antag if you know how to use it. Swap locations around so that Sec goes to the wrong place when there's a call for help, swap your name for somebody elses incase you get found out, censor any message that contain the word revs, impersonate the captain, make the command and security channels public...[/QUOTE]

At some point I'm going to sit down and write a hugely complicated setup of IF and FOR loops and DO WHILES to create a horrifically subtle telecoms script that pretends to BE a person, not an existing crewmember a whole person.

I'd have to rig it so that this script would listen out for certain keyphrases and respond accordingly. Like if someone just yelled "HELP!" it would respond with "[personname] WHERE?" or if someone used a sentence containing a pre-defined list of insults the program would respond "[namehere] is a shitty [jobhere]" or "[namehere] is an unrobust faggot"

The fact that you can pull the job title and name of someone from metadata in each tcomms message is good for all sorts of fuckery.

Of course, the script would have an internal counter, and eventually start getting ruder and ruder and ruder, After a while it would just start automatically insulting people anytime they said anything... and after a while, it would being to read out Woody's got wood.

The thing is, because it'd have a valid name and job title in the Tcomms data, people would start a manhunt for a nonexistant person, tearing apart the station bit by bit to find a man that does not exist.

[Holt]

Whoever that cheeky fuck who set up the disposals pipe in arrivals on hippie that blasts all the newcomers to the station into deep space and bolted the other entrances to the station.

I salute you.

[Kierany9]

[QUOTE=Holt!;49436102]Whoever that cheeky fuck who set up the disposals pipe in arrivals on hippie that blasts all the newcomers to the station into deep space and bolted the other entrances to the station.

I salute you.[/QUOTE]

It originally didn't lead to space but I was the boss of that guy's gang during that round and ordered him to reroute it. Unfortunately I forgot to mention to my fellow gangsters that they should not enter the disposals pipe at arrivals. Guess where I decided to put the dominator and our gang base with all our weapons and equipment?

[WINDOWS098]

Funkynuggets was Marie the Chaplain and survived (used 20 TC)
Objective #1: Throw a wrench at somebody, and start yelling 'NOPE' Success!
Objective #2: Quote Dirty Harry atleast once. Success!
Objective #3: You are... THE MEME. Success!
Objective #4: Fix the Supermatter before it goes nuclear Success!
Objective #5: Slap as many people as you can with your shoes. Success!
Objective #6: Honk Success!
Objective #7: Escape on the shuttle in custody. Success!
Objective #8: Steal the brain of Marie, the Syndicate Agent. Success!
The traitor was successful!

[Wingz]

idk if tcomms is still around or the same as when i used it
but this code makes everyone who talks sequentially say lines from woodys got wood
fun for the whole family

note, say the code into the radio to activate/deactivate (it doesnt let the message go through so people wont catch on)

$code = "woodysenpai";
$mime = "putmimesnamehere";


$counter = 0;
$looped = 0;

if(!mem("counter"))
{
   mem("counter", 0);
}

if(find($content, $code))
{
    $pass = 0;

    if(mem("activation") == 1)
    {
        mem("activation", 0);
        mem("counter", 0);
        mem("looped", 0);
    }
    else
    {
        mem("activation", 1);
        mem("counter", 0);
    }
}

$counter = mem("counter");
$activation = mem("activation");
$looped = mem("looped");

if($counter == 1)
{
   $content = "One day while Andy was masturbating, Woody got wood. He could no longer help himself!";
}

if($counter == 2)
{
   $content = "He watched as Andy stroked his juicy kawaii cock. He approached Andy which startled him and make him pee everywhere on the floor and on Woody too.";
}

if($counter == 3)
{
   $content = "Being drenched in his urine made him harder than ever!";
}

if($counter == 4)
{
   $content = "Woody: 'Andy Senpai! I'm alive and I want to be INSIDE OF YOU.'";
}

if($counter == 5)
{
   $content = "Andy: 'Oh Woody Chan! I always knew you were alive! I want to stuff you up my kawaii ass!'";
}

if($counter == 6)
{
   $content = "Woody grabbed a bunch of flavored lube and rubbed it all over his head.";
}

if($counter == 7)
{
   $content = "Woody: 'Oh my! It's cherry flavored lube! Cherry is my favorite!'";
}

if($counter == 8)
{
   $content = "Woody then stuffed his head up into Andy's tight ass! The other toys around the room watched intently as Woody shoved his head back and forth into Andy's nice ass, continuously making a squishy wet noise.";
}

if($counter == 9)
{
   $content = "The other toys also became aroused and they all gathered around Woody and Andy and started to urinate all over them, and then they started to masturbate.";
}

if($counter == 10)
{
   $content = "Andy: 'Oh my goodness, Woody Chan! You are churning my insides up so well! Your nose is stimulating my prostate! OH YES!'";
}

if($counter == 11)
{
   $content = "All the other toys became so aroused by this, that they could not help themselves anymore! They pushed Woody completely inside, and they all went inside.";
}

if($counter == 12)
{
   $content = "All of them wanted to be inside Andy's nice round ass.";
}

if($counter == 13)
{
   $content = "Andy: 'No wait guys! My ass cannot hold this much! I'm getting so full!'";
}

if($counter == 14)
{
   $content = "All the toys went inside of poor squirming Andy and pretty much, he was beyond full, and died from having his insides completely damaged. The mother came inside and found Andy, dead with a huge ass hemorrhage on his anus, with a HUGE belly full of toys.";
}

if($counter == 15)
{
   $content = "Damn nigga dat was a good story";
}

if($counter == 16)
{
   $content = "LYNCH THE FUCKING MIME HE FUCKED UP TCOMS";
}

if($counter == 17)
{
   $content = "g where are you?";
}

if($counter == 18)
{
    mem("activation", 0);
    mem("counter", 0);
    mem("looped", 1);
}

if($looped == 1 && $activation == 0)
{
   $source = $mime;
   $content = "git dat fukkin mime";
}

if($activation == 1)
{
   $counter = $counter + 1;
   mem("counter", $counter);
}

[RaccoonBro]

do you realize what you have done

[thisguy123]

Oh are we posting codes? Here's a favourite of mine!

$passphrase = "Lets get to the BUTT of the problem";
if(find($content, $passphrase))
{ 
    $pass = 0;
    if(mem($passphrase) == 1)
    {
        mem($passphrase, 0);
    }
    else
    {
        mem($passphrase, 1);
    }
}
if(mem($passphrase) == 1)
{
    $explodeContent = explode($content, " ");
    $contentLength = length($explodeContent);
    $repeatDur = (rand(0, $contentLength) - 2);
    $Count = 0;
    
    if ($contentLength > 2)  { 
            while($Count < $repeatDur) {
                $wordReplace = pick($explodeContent);
                    if ($wordReplace != "butt") {
                        $content = replace($content, $wordReplace, pick("butt", "honk"));
                        $Count = ($Count + 1);
                    }    
                    $Count = ($Count + 1);
            }

}
    }

Turns the whole station into a buttbot... also throws honk in there occasionally for good measure.

If you wish to tinker a little, say add or remove new words to what can be replaced, just fiddle with this line here.

                        $content = replace($content, $wordReplace, pick("butt", "honk"));

Anything inside pick() will be randomly chosen all text must be put inside quotes and each separate thing has to be separated by a comma.

for example This here

                        $content = replace($content, $wordReplace, pick("diddle", "wanker", "One day while andy was masturbating"));

Would randomly replace ANY word with either "diddle", "wanker" and "One day while any was masturbating".

What you choose to do with it is only limited by your imagination.

[SpaceDude]

About T-Comm scripts, for the love of God if you're not an antagonist/griefing dickbag: DO NOT RUN A SCRIPT THAT REPLACES EVERYTHING THAT SOMEONE/EVERYONE SAYS. You'll get banned if a person that is getting killed by a real antag tries to scream over the radio but all that ends up coming out is "HONK".

Also I should probably stay away from doctors from now on (nsfw)

[vid]http://puu.sh/mh3mL/377c1e02d6.webm[/vid]
and I thought I was being sedated :nope:

[Rats808]

[QUOTE=SpaceDude;49441723]Also I should probably stay away from doctors from now on (nsfw)
-video-
and I thought I was being sedated :nope:[/QUOTE]

Holy shit :nope:

[Aphtonites]

[QUOTE=SpaceDude;49441723]About T-Comm scripts, for the love of God if you're not an antagonist/griefing dickbag: DO NOT RUN A SCRIPT THAT REPLACES EVERYTHING THAT SOMEONE/EVERYONE SAYS. You'll get banned if a person that is getting killed by a real antag tries to scream over the radio but all that ends up coming out is "HONK".

Also I should probably stay away from doctors from now on (nsfw)

[vid]http://puu.sh/mh3mL/377c1e02d6.webm[/vid]
and I thought I was being sedated :nope:[/QUOTE]
Jesus christ, you weren't kidding :nope:
How the hell does that happen? I don't really play on any servers aside from Goonstation so I'm guessing this is some guy exploiting a feature?

[Rats808]

[QUOTE=Aphtonites;49444602]Jesus christ, you weren't kidding :nope:
How the hell does that happen? I don't really play on any servers aside from Goonstation so I'm guessing this is some guy exploiting a feature?[/QUOTE]

It's Lifeweb. There's some pretty screwy drugs in the code for it; one of the more common ones you can run into is called Cave Doze. When you're affected by it, you pass out and your screen zooms in to a 3x3 view, and it keeps rotating which direction is showing as north/up.
From what I know, this keeps going until someone removes it from your system.

I'm not sure what drug that is in the video, but holy shit.

[Joekirk]

[QUOTE=Joekirk;49323200]Earlier hippiestation dropped my connection and I still can't rejoin. Other servers are working fine, is hippiedstation down right now?

[editline] December 15, 2:27 PM[/editline]
Restarting my computer seems to have solved the issue. Weird.

Man, turning it off and back on really does work most of the time.

-edit-
This just fucking happened again! What the fuck?

[s]Every server is doing this now. Fucking fantastic, this was working fine yesterday. Guess I get to restart my whole computer so I can play another round. UGH.[/s] Now it just fixed itself. I'm going to take a break.[/QUOTE]

This is happening yet again, but just with Hippiestation. GodmotherfuckingdamnitIjustwanttoplayspacestation13. :hairpull:

[Kierany9]

Extremely simple script that is guaranteed to make the server immediately go insane and call a lynch mob.

$source = $source + pick("-Chan", "-Senpai", "-Sama", "-Kun", "-Sensei", "-San");
$content = $content + pick("! Baka!", "! Onii-chan!", "! Notice me senpai!", "! It's not like I like you or anything...baka!", "! Uguu!", "! Kawaii!", "! Be my waifu!", "! Kawaii Desu!");

[t]http://i.imgur.com/GdBZLs8.png[/t]

[troots]

[QUOTE=Kierany9;49446974]Extremely simple script guaranteed to make the server immediately go insane and call a lynch mob.
[/QUOTE]

or just replace content with source and source with content for the ultimate funnies

[Valiantttt]

[QUOTE=Kierany9;49446974]Extremely simple script that is guaranteed to make the server immediately go insane and call a lynch mob.

$source = $source + pick("-Chan", "-Senpai", "-Sama", "-Kun", "-Sensei", "-San");
$content = $content + pick("! Baka!", "! Onii-chan!", "! Notice me senpai!", "! It's not like I like you or anything...baka!", "! Uguu!", "! Kawaii!", "! Be my waifu!", "! Kawaii Desu!");

[t]http://i.imgur.com/GdBZLs8.png[/t][/QUOTE]
FUCKING GOLEM MURDERING SHITBAGS! It's not like I like you or anything....baka!

its not like i like murderboners up my ass

[Bastet]

[QUOTE=Kierany9;49446974]Extremely simple script that is guaranteed to make the server immediately go insane and call a lynch mob.

$source = $source + pick("-Chan", "-Senpai", "-Sama", "-Kun", "-Sensei", "-San");
$content = $content + pick("! Baka!", "! Onii-chan!", "! Notice me senpai!", "! It's not like I like you or anything...baka!", "! Uguu!", "! Kawaii!", "! Be my waifu!", "! Kawaii Desu!");

[t]http://i.imgur.com/GdBZLs8.png[/t][/QUOTE]

Ok so i dont know TCOMMS script anymore but can i replace $content with $bagels and have it replace the word bagel with whatever is in pick() when its said over the radio.

[SpaceDude]

-snip, nvm it can work-

[RaccoonBro]

I ~think~ I fixed the fun issue where pAIs can't use their messenger or chatroom in their software.

There's a change it could fuck up and suddenly pAIs can start terrorizing the station by controlling equipment. But hey, at least you can sext the AI now.