POSTAL Megathread: Let's piss on everything and blow their heads off v1 - Games

[QUOTE=zombini;43490516]I think i found a bug. [t]http://cloud-4.steampowered.com/ugc/487813229789707318/A5E9C5F9E4C7ACFD3700C35E8E628C3FEABEB81C/[/t] I wouldn't fix it though, pretty fucking funny, also terrifying. [editline] never [/editline] If there's no image, then steam cloud is being slow and shitty.[/QUOTE] [thumb]http://cloud-2.steampowered.com/ugc/885255886566635400/0A5D5C8323E1972D7527171F8E7B53C32A660B55/[/thumb] [I]That's horrifying![/I]

I went to MikeJ, asked him to sign. He said no, so I cut off his arm and pissed on him, and asked him again. Nope. Cut off his other arm, pissed, asked again. He said yeah, and somehow put his signature with his little stubs.

You know, I wonder what all the attainable ranks are. (Speed Runner, Jesus, POSTAL God, etc.)

[QUOTE=windows098;43490654]I went to MikeJ, asked him to sign. He said no, so I cut off his arm and pissed on him, and asked him again. Nope. Cut off his other arm, pissed, asked again. He said yeah, and somehow put his signature with his little stubs.[/QUOTE] He used his mouth to hold the pen[del]is[/del]

[QUOTE=SGTNAPALM;43490727]You know, I wonder what all the attainable ranks are. (Speed Runner, Jesus, POSTAL God, etc.)[/QUOTE] These come from an old walkthrough I found, some of them are likely outdated but it should give you an idea Message: Thank you for playing, JESUS. Requirement: 0 people and animals killed. Message: Gun-shy Murderer Requirement: Under 5 people killed. Message: Underachieving Thug Requirement: Under 50 people killed. Message: Wanna-be Gangsta Requirement: Under 100 people killed. Message: Soccer Mom Requirement: Under 300 people killed. Message: Office Drone Pushed over the Edge Requirement: Under 600 people killed. Message: Prozac-Powered Gun Nut Requirement: Under 800 people killed. Message: Serial Killer on Steroids Requirement: Under 1000 people killed. Message: Society-Shunning, Grade-A Psycho Requirement: Under 1500 people killed. Message: Ex-Military Killing Machine Requirement: Under 2000 people killed. Message: Hilter would be proud. Requirement: Under 4000 people killed. Message: Congratulations, SATAN. Requirement: Over 4000 people killed. Message: Cop Killer Requirement: 3/4 of the people killed were cops. Message: PETA-Hating, Animal Murderer Requirement: More animals than people killed. Message: Teen Sniper Requirement: Over half your kills were rifle headshots. Message: Arsonist Requirement: Over half your kills were by burning. Message: Water Sports Enthusiast Requirement: The number of gallons pissed are higher than the number of kills Message: Cat Rapist Requirement: Over 40 cats used on guns Message: Congratulations! We didn't think this was even possible! Requirement: Finish the game on Hestonmode.

[QUOTE=Toploader;43490390]I said that it will be a few days before I start getting back to people, I'll reply to everyone, even those that don't get taken on of the number of those asking to help is really high. [editline]10th January 2014[/editline] Totally agree, it's on our list along with a better hud system, but I'll move the last weapon feature further up the priority list.[/QUOTE] Thank you for the information. Nevermind. My ideas are fucking dumb so I edited that shit out.

I guess since we're posting speedrun screenshots: [thumb]http://i.imgur.com/0nwzyJP.jpg[/thumb] I did it all single segment, the time was 1:06:06 real time (all time counted, starting from new game to the last cutscene). If you guys really want to see the video, I'll link it, but it has my terrible voice in it. And overall, it's still really sloppy.

Link it. I can't seem to get below an hour on my speedruns.

[QUOTE=Ryo Ohki;43487137]I still win [img]http://i.imgur.com/LpGAMur.png[/img] Not that it means anything since playing on the easiest difficulty makes everything more of a chore than a challenge Actually, Toploader could you make the difficulty level show up in the final stats?[/QUOTE] This is now done in our internal beta, thanks again for the suggestion (good ideas which are really easy to do are my favorite!)

Isn't there also a Wet Jesus rating for no kills but pissing on dudes

[QUOTE=Judas;43490474]personally i'd like a more specific timer for when items are about to run out (catnip/health pipe/etc)[/QUOTE]The size and speed of your HUD heart indicates how far you are into your crack addiction. Anywho, this is a complete list of all the possible rankings as of the current Steam version: [quote] Killed0Ranking="Thank you for playing, JESUS." Killed1Ranking="Gun-shy Murderer" Killed2Ranking="Underachieving Thug" Killed3Ranking="Wanna-be Gangsta" Killed4Ranking="Soccer Mom" Killed5Ranking="Office Drone Pushed over the Edge" Killed6Ranking="Prozac-Powered Gun Nut" Killed7Ranking="Serial Killer on Steroids" Killed8Ranking="Society-Shunning, Grade-A Psycho" Killed9Ranking="Ex-Military Killing Machine" Killed10Ranking="Hitler would be proud." Killed11Ranking="Congratulations, SATAN." CopKillerRanking="Cop Killer" AnimalKillerRanking="PETA-Hating, Animal Murderer" RifleKillerRanking="Teen Sniper" FireKillerRanking="Arsonist" PeeRanking="Water Sports Enthusiast" CatSexRanking="Cat Rapist" HestonRanking="Card-Carrying NRA Member" InsaneoRanking="Chaos-Braving POSTAL Freak" HateMeRanking="Survivor of Bad Circumstance" ExpertRanking="POSTAL God" ImpossibleRanking="Holy shit! We didn't even think this was possible!" SpeedRanking="Speed Runner" SuperSpeedRanking="Super Speed Runner" UltraSpeedRanking="Someone who's been watching too many TAS videos" GhoulRanking="Limb Hacking Postal Ghoul"[/quote]To get the Ultra Speedrun ranking, you need to beat the game in under 45 minutes. One thing I don't like about the speedrun rankings is that they override the normal rankings, so you can't get, say, the Jesus rank unless you deliberately take longer than an hour and a half. If possible, I think the speedrun rankings should be added as a separate label just like the mode of difficulty.

[QUOTE=Marphy Black;43492611] One thing I don't like about the speedrun rankings is that they override the normal rankings, so you can't get, say, the Jesus rank unless you deliberately take longer than an hour and a half. If possible, I think the speedrun rankings should be added as a separate label just like the mode of difficulty.[/QUOTE] I'm sure this can be arranged too!

[QUOTE=SGTNAPALM;43491477]Link it. I can't seem to get below an hour on my speedruns.[/QUOTE] [url=http://www.twitch.tv/ss013r/c/3517250]Fair enough.[/url] The route that I used still isn't very optimal, and I've made some changes. Here are the notes (a bit different from the ones showed on my video). [url]http://pastebin.com/8SCvqg5g[/url] My route is mostly based off of [url=http://speeddemosarchive.com/Postal2.html]this segmented run.[/url] If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

I wonder what triggers the ghoul ranking.

Oh and RWS, there's this really cool speedrunning trick you can do on Tuesday, where you throw a molotov to kill the confession priest from the outside of the building. Here's a video of what I mean: [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylC8MyHQSLw[/media] However, when I try this trick on the latest version, it kills the priest without completing the objective (also making the game unwinnable). If it's not too much to ask, could you guys look into this?

[QUOTE=Toploader;43492773]I'm sure this can be arranged too![/QUOTE] Going a step further, it should display all rankings. Supposing you killed over 4000 people on Insane-O and killed mostly cops in 45 minutes. (Probably not possible but whatever.) It should list Chaos-Braving POSTAL Freak; Congratulations, Satan; etc.

[QUOTE=SGTNAPALM;43492870]I wonder what triggers the ghoul ranking.[/QUOTE]To get the Ghoul ranking, you need to cut off a lot of limbs, at least 100, and the ratio of limbs cut to murders (including zombies) needs to be greater than murders*2. However, I imagine this ranking would be pretty difficult to get at the moment since the number of limbs hacked isn't being correctly counted.

[QUOTE=Marphy Black;43492974]To get the Ghoul ranking, you need to cut off a lot of limbs, at least 100, and the ratio of limbs cut to murders (including zombies) needs to be greater than murders*2. However, I imagine this ranking would be pretty difficult to get at the moment since the number of limbs hacked isn't being correctly counted.[/QUOTE] We've just fixed the Military and Taliban not getting recorded Mon-Fri, we'll get this looked at too. [editline]11th January 2014[/editline] BTW, I really do think we should add the movie to the first post. Yeah I know it's not the perfect POSTAL movie but it was not that bad... had a lot of nods to the fans in there and Vince gets to shot Uwe in the balls... that alone is worth sitting though it.

On it!

[QUOTE=Toploader;43496135]I really do think we should add the movie to the first post. Yeah I know it's not the perfect POSTAL movie but it was not that bad... had a lot of nods to the fans in there and Vince gets to shot Uwe in the balls... that alone is worth sitting though it.[/QUOTE] Maybe a facepuncher could remaster the movie to work better?

[QUOTE=Trekintosh;43496667]Maybe a facepuncher could remaster the movie to work better?[/QUOTE] It could use a bit of re-editing I think... it's at least 15 mins too long for a start. [editline]11th January 2014[/editline] [QUOTE={TFS} Rock Su;43496663]On it![/QUOTE] Thank you good sir!

With the dismemberment, I think it would cool if you could pick up the limbs that have been chopped off and use them to beat people with or be able to throw them. The 'weapon' doesn't have to do much damage but I just want to chop peoples limbs off them then beat them to death with it.

Also I have no idea how to get arsonist because the burning people stat is so wonky.

I went to the elephant grill place and killed everyone there, piled them up, poured gasoline on them and set them aflame. Also I burn everyone I kill if I have time so i'm pretty sure i'm getting the arsonist stat

[QUOTE=SGTNAPALM;43496869]Also I have no idea how to get arsonist because the burning people stat is so wonky.[/QUOTE] From my experience it's easier to get burn kills by using the napalm launcher and molotovs than the gas can The problem is that people don't actually die when you set them on fire, they start crawling and bleed out on their own, so if you want to get it you're gonna have to finish people off yourself

[QUOTE=Ryo Ohki;43497102]From my experience it's easier to get burn kills by using the napalm launcher and molotovs than the gas can The problem is that people don't actually die when you set them on fire, they start crawling and bleed out on their own, so if you want to get it you're gonna have to finish people off yourself[/QUOTE] That's the thing. Burning people with gas, molotovs, and napalm were primary methods of croud control in my Impossible playthrough. I've killed dozens with the direct hit of napalm and molotvs. I only have one burning kill according to my stats.

I think the burning people stat is bugged atm. I tried killing a bunch of people with fire the other day while trying to farm some achievements and the achievement stat for "OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale" didn't increase at all during that time.

Clearly the stats need some work, I'll get them thoroughly looked at.

[QUOTE=Toploader;43497253]Clearly the stats need some work, I'll get them thoroughly looked at.[/QUOTE] Toplader is a pretty cool dude

Just finished an average Postal II game (only 5 days). 7 hours of playtime. I guess its time to piss napalm and spam machetes.