D&D V6 - Edition jokes don't really make sense anymore - Games

[QUOTE=_Maverick_;51953422]party travel to city party took the prince hostage. their demands? bard: "I cast [I]SUGGESTION[/I] on the king and order him to [I]give me his crown[/I]. then leave" me: "Okay, he is bewitched and promptly hands you his crown then goes to sit down on the palace steps Bard: "[B]Cool, so i'm king now?[/B]" me: "No." Bard: "why not? I HAVE THE CROWN!" never mind the prince, the nobles, the council, the other cities, the standing army, the generals, the merchant guilds, the neighboring countries, the gods themselves TELLING YOU, TO NOT DO THIS, FUCK, SHIT JUST STOP. yeah, go ahead you're king.[/QUOTE] Everyone knows that in order to become the king you have to slay him combat, duh. They can't just cheat their way through the proper way of doing things. Bonus points if you eat his heart after you kill him [editline]14th March 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=Nerts;51953476]Blame Elowin[/QUOTE] Honestly this should just be thread motto

[QUOTE=Saxon;51956780]I realized my character has a relationship with another party member like Deadpool and his old crack whore roomie. The other party member in question nearly killed my female Tiefling arcanist when we first met, bragged about it then wanted to sleep together weeks later. That's too weird for me to rp with another dude bro player so we usually just mock each other or find subtle ways to throw one another off. We live in the same house (cause we're broke as shit) and have this weird platonic relationship where we are friends, confide and hate each other at the same time. Send help[/QUOTE] Dysfunctional relationships are the best way to bond with other PCs, my squeamish, self-centred, sheltered decker character and Sib's wired up, selfmedicating, PTSD suffering street sam are sort of friends because everyone else on the team is desensitised or enjoys killing people, they bonded over milkshakes and burgers and then I was discriminated against and got thrown out of a swimming pool.

Start with the basic module. It's really, really good at introducing people to d&d.

[QUOTE=Snood_1990;51953866]Oh fuck yeah, sign me up. What are your opinions on Blood Hunter lobsters?[/QUOTE] I'd have to take a look but I'd like to stick with vanilla 5th ed stuff for now so I can keep a handle on the homebrew. I don't know what the state of the 3rd party content community is like (whether they put out balanced stuff on a regular basis or not). I know you guys said you were all GMT; is there a specific time you prefer to run? I'm GMT+9 right now and have most of my free time on weekends. [editline]14th March 2017[/editline] Let me know who all in your group is interested (I know you said you were but one or more of your dudes might not want to explore the thrill of being a magic crab) and if you're willing to take in some people from this thread or not, since I noticed one or two other people expressed interest.

[QUOTE=Archimedes;51956382]If you wana fuck with 'em you should have them dragged off to the Dungeon where it's revealed that the King was a Doppleganger who'd long ago disposed of the king. He then makes a point to thank them for creating such a convenient scapegoat in getting rid of the Prince before shifting back and having the lot of them tossed into some Undermountain rip off naked and unarmed. Have 'em spend a few weeks traversing some labyrinthine dungeonscape where they can murderhobo everything until they finally get out and find the Doppleking has basically gone full tyrant. For extra flavor maybe they encounter the real King down there, whose not only alive and kicking ass but also REALLY wants to hear about how his beloved son is doing.[/QUOTE] OH MY GOD doing this.

[QUOTE=thejjokerr;51958442]Yo guys, my friends and I want to play DnD, but we have no idea where to start and don't know anyone that has experience as a dungeon master. What do?[/QUOTE] If you wanna play 5th Edition, start with Lost Mines of Phandelver, and either look for someone running that or elect someone from the group to try being the DM.

[QUOTE=ElectricSquid;51958542]I'd have to take a look but I'd like to stick with vanilla 5th ed stuff for now so I can keep a handle on the homebrew. I don't know what the state of the 3rd party content community is like (whether they put out balanced stuff on a regular basis or not). I know you guys said you were all GMT; is there a specific time you prefer to run? I'm GMT+9 right now and have most of my free time on weekends. [editline]14th March 2017[/editline] Let me know who all in your group is interested (I know you said you were but one or more of your dudes might not want to explore the thrill of being a magic crab) and if you're willing to take in some people from this thread or not, since I noticed one or two other people expressed interest.[/QUOTE] Oh, didn't realise you were being serious about the crab stuff :v: I might be interested, but I doubt the rest of the group would be unfortunately.

[url=http://dnd.wizards.com/articles/unearthed-arcana/mystic-class]Mystic UA is up, coming in at a short 28 pages[/url] Mileage may vary, but generally speaking, the class is far too versatile and features a number of abilities that are far too powerful.

Today, in my Lamentations of the Flame Princess game: [quote]The party heads out of Canterbury, arrives in Dover, sleeps at a church, makes jokes about the Reverend being a kiddy diddler because he has 3 young boys living in the church with him, and then goes down a hole into catacombs beneath the church, to look for the bible they were went to find. At the bottom, the floor is covered in green slime, and a trail of it leads off down a hallway in each cardinal direction, thickest to the north and west. They head north, find "D W D E S U S U S W D W W U W N N N E S S S W D W W W W S U E N D N D W U E U" written on a wall in dried blood, and start following those directions. It leads them past a staircase that the slime trail goes up, to a hole in the wall, marked with a chi-rho symbol, where they find 18 silver, and decide that the south they should have taken was the staircase up. We ended at the top of the stairs, with a long hallway headed south ahead of them.[/quote] For reference, this is what the chi-rho symbol looks like: [t]http://i.imgur.com/T6S37aq.png[/t] [editline]14th March 2017[/editline] Overall, fun session, but I'm a bit disappointed it ended when it did, because one of the players had to go to sleep. [editline]14th March 2017[/editline] Also, the party's map of the dungeon, so far: [t]http://i.imgur.com/UIcZJyj.png[/t]

[QUOTE=Nerts;51958424]Dysfunctional relationships are the best way to bond with other PCs, my squeamish, self-centred, sheltered decker character and Sib's wired up, selfmedicating, PTSD suffering street sam are sort of friends because everyone else on the team is desensitised or enjoys killing people, they bonded over milkshakes and burgers and then I was discriminated against and got thrown out of a swimming pool.[/QUOTE] I usually just mock the other character (a gnome) since my tiefling can make master-work level art (with craft calligraphy) while the gnome draws stick figures in his coloring book. I used it to make fun of his artistic skills by giving him an amazing drawing of him in chains once which really upset him. He then showed it to people at a bar and said he made it with an amazing bluff check to get back at me. Everyone hailed him as some kind of Leonardo Da Vinci and put it in a museum. No one believed me when I said I had actually made it, they said I was only trying to imitate greatness etc. He gave it away for free, can't make anymore cause he would be exposed, and I'm too prideful to make more. So we're still stuck in our shitty house and our GM won't give good loot yet. Meanwhile everyone else is brooding and dark edgy murder hobo's

The game this evening ended with a Misted Vampire Lord in a hallway between a Wall of Water spell and a Water Elemental. Our DM told us that no matter what we did we couldn't kill it because it could essentially just float around and the Elemental could never interact with it. No rulings on if the Elemental counts as running water, just "Sorry this is my important NPC and you can't win this because I didn't plan for it". Frustrating. [editline]14th March 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=_Maverick_;51958557]OH MY GOD doing this.[/QUOTE] The only tangible danger is taking away player items. They hate that shit. You could allow them some rule of law thing where the condemned may take one item with them, but if they've got magic shit of any kind they'll likely fight tooth and nail for it. Still, a better and more interesting option than getting publicly executed. Oh and if they do manage to get their way out of being tossed in the pit let 'em have it. Maybe they'll try to rally people to their cause as the lands most wanted. Who knows!

I interpret a vampires weakness to running water as a weakness to natural sources of running water i.e rivers and streams, and wouldn't count either of those personally

[QUOTE=Mellowbloom;51962689]I interpret a vampires weakness to running water as a weakness to natural sources of running water i.e rivers and streams, and wouldn't count either of those personally[/QUOTE] I agree that this is reasonable and more accurate to how I'd imagine the weakness is intended, but his ruling was that the water could hurt (or at least obstruct) the vampire but since it could use a Legendary action to move around its lair for free he could perpetually avoid any retaliation or interaction until the spells dropped. The session just stopped and he told us that no matter what we did we couldn't stop this thing. No description, just that the game was over and we should start scrounging for loot. I'm probably venting more than is fair.

[QUOTE=Archimedes;51962715]No description, just that the game was over and we should start scrounging for loot. I'm probably venting more than is fair.[/QUOTE] terrible thing for a dm to do, wow.

[QUOTE=Ogopogo;51960062][url=http://dnd.wizards.com/articles/unearthed-arcana/mystic-class]Mystic UA is up, coming in at a short 28 pages[/url] Mileage may vary, but generally speaking, the class is far too versatile and features a number of abilities that are far too powerful.[/QUOTE] I'm not so sure, in honesty. I've been experimenting with building a character with it for an upcoming game and, well... A lot of things seemed very powerful at first glance, but the more I looked the more it seemed less so, especially considering that until you start hitting mid-levels you don't actually have all that many points to throw around for big, devastating strikes. They are absolute kings in terms of single-target damage for a while, but compared to the relative elegance of, say, fireball, a lot of their damage powers don't really match up, especially since their actually dpr just about peaks around level 9, and from there they just increase their sustainability and versatility. Which is not to say it's not still an excellent class, but compared to your standard spellcasters, these guys don't stick out as anything especially, brilliantly powerful, although the heavy capability to target the non-primary saves (Str, Int, and Cha) in some of the disciplines is very strong. Especially considering it is VERY easy for them to rapidly run themselves dry in a few rounds. I like the class, because it basically can be 'build your own caster' and have a TON of options, but even more than normal spellcasters you have to seriously manage your resources to get the mileage out of it, and your actual per-power impact peaks at 9, and even then the only powers you have that are mechanically comparable to same-level spells are your single-target damages. If you're playing a game without a lot of encounters, though, they end up with the same issue that psions have always had where they can safely blow HUGE numbers of resources very rapidly to ensure victory, but that's one of those running game-as-intended vs running game-as-desired problems that also heavily applies to normal vancian casters. That being said, I can see them being built as pretty insanely tanky for a spellcaster if you decide to go purely for it, since they can get expenditure-based regeneration, healing, mitigation, and a refreshing temp-hp shield, but that tankiness is also not as sustainable as that of, say, a barbarian. Nigh-unkillable for the short burst before their powers run out, then they're at about cleric-levels of durability. The tl;dr I'm seeing is that you end up as basically a tankier Warlock, who trades sustainability and focus for much more ability to pick their toolset

Part of the issue as I see it is the mystic is, while there few abilities individually that make the class too powerful, the flexibility of the class is outrageous, treading over heavily on other classes. You can just about make absolutely any character or class in the book from just the one class. Not only that, but you gain specialization in others areas while already being primarily focused in one. Most of the fixes people propose reduce the number of disciplines among other tweaks, and put a little bit more of selection limitations on the choices they can make.

my players are actually insane so you may recall that my players quite recently beheaded a prince and started a war against the king and are now currently under siege? let me explain what happened after that. Fighter: "where is the prince's body." Me: "on the walls still." F: "i throw the body off the walls onto the king below." me: "god, okay, but you can't hit the king, he's too far away." F: " *long evil pause* he's beheaded right?" me: "yeah?" F: "So what's going to happen to his insides when he hits the floor, they'll spray outwards right, it'll be like a cannon of blood." he chucks the body over the walls (while sitting on the kings throne, which he pulled up there.) guts spray over the attackers me: "They are thoroughly intimidated." F: "That wasn't my intimidation. i want to proclam that i'm God." Bard: "i'll bow down and worship him, does that give us advantage now?" Me: "NO IT DOESN'T FUCK OFF." *fails roll.* me: "Thank god." B: "how clustered are they?" me: "Pretty clustered you can see an estimated 700 troops gathered in the city some working catapults and moving supplies read for the si-" B: "I cast stinking cloud centered on their general." what happened next was horrific and i was desperately trying to tell what was happening through the bard's hysterical crying laugh. the army failed it's saving throws with a NAT1, and we do the rule of NAT1-20 do something silly. so naturally the army started to violently vomit and everyone that watched this, started to vomit after failing their saving throws too, it ended with an entire platoon of guards crying as they vomit their guts out rolling around in a thick oily mucus that was so bad that, that street is now classed as difficult terrain. not written about in here: Fighter causes civil war between enslaved Elves bard becomes possessed by demons and destroys a city druid creates an ever hungry gem hunting crystal barbarian becomes pregnant and kills 30 people this started out so simple, my poor world.

[QUOTE=_Maverick_;51969075] what happened next was horrific and i was desperately trying to tell what was happening through the [B]bard's hysterical crying laugh.[/B] the army failed it's saving throws with a NAT1, and we do the rule of NAT1-20 do something silly. so naturally the army started to violently vomit and everyone that watched this, started to vomit after failing their saving throws too, it ended with an entire platoon of guards crying as they vomit their guts out rolling around in a thick oily mucus that was so bad that, that street is now classed as difficult terrain. not written about in here: Fighter causes civil war between enslaved Elves bard becomes possessed by demons and destroys a city druid creates an ever hungry gem hunting crystal barbarian becomes pregnant and kills 30 people this started out so simple, my poor world.[/QUOTE] Sounds like your players are having an absolute blast, can't get much better than that when it comes to GMing. The first thing to fail it's saving throw is the GM's plans so don't worry if it does not go the way you wanted it to.

I do have to wonder how they got to the point where they were decapitating princes, because that sounds like something you didn't want them to be doing

[QUOTE=thisguy123;51969091]Sounds like your players are having an absolute blast, can't get much better than that when it comes to GMing. The first thing to fail it's saving throw is the GM's plans so don't worry if it does not go the way you wanted it to.[/QUOTE] they said that Wednesdays (the day we play) are the best days of the week. yeah, they are having fun.

[QUOTE=_Maverick_;51969075] not written about in here: Fighter causes civil war between enslaved Elves bard becomes possessed by demons and destroys a city druid creates an ever hungry gem hunting crystal barbarian becomes pregnant and kills 30 people this started out so simple, my poor world.[/QUOTE] I'm reminded somewhat of one of my group's sessions, where I cast confusion on a powerful witch and she accidentally cast a grand hex in the middle of her underground city inside of a mountain, causing the whole mountain to collapse and free a horrifyingly evil dragon. I just wanted to save my friends, man. How did I know she had storm of vengeance and earthquake?

I need a name for my cat familiar, please help me choose. [url]http://www.strawpoll.me/12566135[/url]

[QUOTE=GLH;51983817]I need a name for my cat familiar, please help me choose. [url]http://www.strawpoll.me/12566135[/url][/QUOTE] All the weebs are voting Dio, sorry

[QUOTE=Nerts;51984505]All the weebs are voting Dio, sorry[/QUOTE] I was going to but my heart told me to go for Ziggy.

[QUOTE=Nerts;51984505]All the weebs are voting Dio, sorry[/QUOTE] That's only beccause cat pun names weren't available

Today in my game my Paladin got thrown off a bridge 300 ft in the air, and cratered into the ground below. With about uhh, 30 hp remaining. I cannot die.

Yesterday night I had great fun at D&D. Or rather, I had great fun playing Cards Against Humanity while waiting for the DM at D&D. At this point, the Retired Navy Vet probably shouldn't be DMing anything really. His work schedule is too volatile for the all essential DM that's sort of required to play the game. Not that I'm really worried anymore about him cancelling last minute, our group agreed that if his game gets cancelled we'll just play a surplus of board games we have. But for example, last night I arrived circa~ 6pm. DM didn't show up until 8pm and we didn't start till like 8:15-8:30. I would've much rather played more Cards Against Humanity than do one piddily encounter that didn't even bump me to level 6.

Someone on my campus is starting a post-apocalyptic themed campaign and I'd love to join them if it didn't conflict with my other group currently going on (which as it is is about to be conflicted by my work starting up soon).

Yesterday in my Unknown Armies game, I sent the whole group to [t]http://i.imgur.com/P836cZ7.png[/t] [editline]19th March 2017[/editline] :dead:

[QUOTE=Broguts;51984565]I was going to but my heart told me to go for Ziggy.[/QUOTE] More like Iggy