D&D V6 - Edition jokes don't really make sense anymore - Games

Half of those effects are absolute butts for the user of the knife, and wowee only 30 seconds of reanimation before it explodes. Thw ones that aren't absolute butts are basically butts because they have very little productive value. Tbh it's garbage. I'd dust it or sell it to some unlucky idiot if I found that item. The risk-benefit analysis for this item puts it at less useful than a rusty butter knife imo. Because at least the butter knife doesn't probably blind, deafen, maim or kill me when I kill anything with it. Now there's a point where you're balancing magic items with draw backs and stuff, and not all magic items are good, curses etc. But for an item so complex in function that it needs a table, I just see a bad item. Like, even the deck of many things has a good deal of fun outcomes that aren't directly fucking you in the ass. You wouldn't draw a card ever if every outcome was probably shitty.

Cheers! Really good points

[QUOTE=Maloof?;51999209]Cheers! Really good points[/QUOTE] Like, I do like the effects, they're creative, but each one feels like it should be a critical effect on a cursed item. Not a set of 10 effects. It's just too much for something that happens so often. Unless it's like, mega powerful in damage. Then you have a case where maybe you really can't fail at killing something and the risk of 5 minutes until nuclear meltdown is something to gamble. Or taking this mega cursed dagger and risking it all to kill something major tough. It could be used interestingly by creative players. But if it's a generic magic artefact for normal use, it's too effect heavy.

Clearly the best thing is to have a whole set of cursed items, and have them increase your roll on the table by +1 for each item in the set, inevitably allowing you to get only good rolls with a full item set (and if rolling too well, ending up possessed by the armor's previous wearer).

How about something like this for a spooky random dagger. 1d6 1. On a kill, the attuned wielder of this dagger siphons the victims happiest memory. This ability has no effect if the creature is not a humanoid or has an intelligence lower than 5. 2. On a kill, the attuned wielder of this dagger deals and takes 2d4 psychic damage on their next successful attack role (both the creature and wielder are damaged). 3. On a kill, the attuned wielder of this dagger gains temporary hitpoints equal to the creatures CR level and casts the 'Create Bonfire' cantrip centered on their victims body. 4. On a kill, this dagger casts 'Light' on itself and the victims body for 1 hour. The victims body then turns to ash as if targeted by the 'Disintegrate' spell. 5. On a kill, this dagger casts the 'Command' spell on the attuned wielder and one other random target within 15 ft of it. DC WIS Save 12. On a failure both targets are briefly consumed by intense laughter and pass their turns as if issued the 'Grovel' command. The Dagger becomes inert after using this property until dawn. 6. On a kill, the dagger casts 'Animate Dead' on the victim. At the end of the spell the victims body turns to ash as if targeted by the 'Disintigrate' spell. The Dagger becomes inert after using this property until dawn.

[QUOTE=Archimedes;51999542]How about something like this for a spooky random dagger. 1d6 1. On a kill, the attuned wielder of this dagger siphons the victims happiest memory. This ability has no effect if the creature is not a humanoid or has an intelligence lower than 5. 2. On a kill, the attuned wielder of this dagger deals and takes 2d4 psychic damage on their next successful attack role (both the creature and wielder are damaged). 3. On a kill, the attuned wielder of this dagger gains temporary hitpoints equal to the creatures CR level and casts the 'Create Bonfire' cantrip centered on their victims body. 4. On a kill, this dagger casts 'Light' on itself and the victims body for 1 hour. The victims body then turns to ash as if targeted by the 'Disintegrate' spell. 5. On a kill, this dagger casts the 'Command' spell on the attuned wielder and one other random target within 15 ft of it. DC WIS Save 12. On a failure both targets are briefly consumed by intense laughter and pass their turns as if issued the 'Grovel' command. The Dagger becomes inert after using this property until dawn. 6. On a kill, the dagger casts 'Animate Dead' on the victim. At the end of the spell the victims body turns to ash as if targeted by the 'Disintigrate' spell. The Dagger becomes inert after using this property until dawn.[/QUOTE] Again these are cool but why is it so random? Is it a wild magic infused dagger or something? Why would someone enchant these with such properties that don't really relate to eachother. Some of these are perfect for a low level item on their own. [quote]3. On a kill, the attuned wielder of this dagger gains temporary hitpoints equal to the creatures CR level.[/quote] This one specifically is really cool and useful for a low level character. [editline]23rd March 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=Archimedes;51999542] 6. On a kill, the dagger casts 'Animate Dead' on the victim. At the end of the spell the victims body turns to ash as if targeted by the 'Disintigrate' spell. The Dagger becomes inert after using this property until dawn.[/QUOTE] What if at some point the dagger "unlocks" a new property? Specifically when the player levels up enough that the dagger is about to become useless to them. So here's what I came up with: --- [B]Avarice[/B] [I]Requires attunement[/I] This strange dagger seems to be made of ordinary metal and presents rough ornamental engravings alongside its handle and guard. It seems as if its metalwork was once much more intricate, but has worn out from time or regular handling. Upon the handle a fine, engraved script can still be read: "Avarice". On this dagger's pommel is a transparent crystal. [I]On a kill, the attuned wielder of this dagger gains temporary hitpoints equal to the creatures CR level.[/I] For every kill, a small spark of light gleams inside a glass vial built onto the pommel that was previously unnoticed by the wielder, or misjudged for an ornamental crystal. This vial fills up with a white shining gleam of vaporous gel, and after a gelatinous dance, the gel succumbs to gravity and sits upon the bottom of the vial, like a liquid. For each kill, the vial is filled a bit more. Each vital essence has a different color, and you could play on how at the end the vial is filled with a black liquid. Upon being completely filled, it does nothing at first. Once the attuned wielder rests, however, they wake up to see the glass vial is empty, once again. The dagger then unlocks the following ability, maintaining its old property: [I]On a kill, the dagger casts 'Animate Dead' on the victim. At the end of the spell the victims body turns to ash as if targeted by the 'Disintegrate' spell. This property can only be used one per day.[/I] --- The idea is, maybe have it keep unlocking properties as the soul vial fills up. The strength of this item is accompanied by the mystery behind it. Surely this is the work of a necromancer. Why does it suck life essence? Who created this? Who were its previous owners? What are the consequences of using this item regularly? And then at some point, should your player still have the dagger, the item has such absurd properties that the bond between the wielder and the dagger becomes so strong that it is only then clear that the dagger is cursed. And its name "Avarice" begins to make sense! The wear behind these engravings is explained as well; the past wielders of this dagger must have made power-hungry use of it until the dagger became their own demise! I apologize if I had too much fun with this. Also Maloof, you're an illustrator my mang. Paint this dagger! Take advantage your painting skills for your DM'ing. If you find some time, possibly illustrate environments and items and NPCs and shiz, it becomes a lot more fun for players, and it's ALWAYS an awe moment for your players when you give them an illustration to look at as you're describing the scene. A huge, intimidating gate might call for an illustration where they see how tiny and puny they look compared to it.

Give me some good quips against dwarves. Our racist dwarven cleric is always using the same lame harassment against me (Calling me half-breed cause i'm an elf) and the wizard (a full elf), and I need good stuff to say against him. [B]EDIT:[/B] I've already called him a walking beerkeg, a sentient side table, a rockfucker, and mentioned how it looks like his legs got sawn off.

Wed-to-the-anvil, or something like that It insults their women's looks, makes a wife-beating joke AND a smithing joke all in one Lowest of the low Beer Breath Drunken Sot Axe Grinder Dirt Grubber "Your nose is leaking hair." Shortarse

Just call him a dwarf. I can't think of a greater insult than that.

I have a partial quip, I can't think of words to go with it. something something Hair Blanket

[QUOTE=MenteR;52000223]Again these are cool but why is it so random? Is it a wild magic infused dagger or something? Why would someone enchant these with such properties that don't really relate to eachother. Some of these are perfect for a low level item on their own. [/Quote] I was thinking it's some kinda demon that's been trapped in there after an accident. It's less of a totally useful dagger and more of a neat thing for player's to play with. They'll explore how it works by using it, decide whether or not they want to use it. Maybe trick an enemy into using it in a confined space? But you're all right - it needs some kinda commonly triggered crit to make sense gameplay-wise

The issue with dwarves is that you're supposed to embrace everything dwarven. Having hairy nostrils and being alcoholics is all just a part of that machismo that makes dwarves so appealing. Even being thick headed to some extent. You embrace the pigheadedness, you have the thickest skin. Being a caricature lout or old stuborn bastard isn't the flaw, it's the appeal of being a dwarf. No other standard player race has that.

[QUOTE=Hey I'm Grump;52001365]Give me some good quips against dwarves. Our racist dwarven cleric is always using the same lame harassment against me (Calling me half-breed cause i'm an elf) and the wizard (a full elf), and I need good stuff to say against him. [B]EDIT:[/B] I've already called him a walking beerkeg, a sentient side table, a rockfucker, and mentioned how it looks like his legs got sawn off.[/QUOTE] exchange their ass mead for fine elven craft beer while they're asleep and call him a child sized warrior. "child sized one, do you have the map?" "bearded infant, have you any healing potions left?" "i believe our trusty alcoholic toddler should scout ahead." "no, you furry tot. you can't read the lich's grimoire, not until he releases a pocket book version for you." if it's all in good fun then it's cool but if he's doing this as a dick then ehh i wouldn't contribute to it.

Working on a short adventure for the backlog based on a writing prompt and need some recommendations on enemies from the vets here. 5e as always. Here is the premise: [quote]The party is sent to investigate a town after a courier arrives in the death thralls of exhaustion. Directly above the town, partially obscured by a perpetually overcast sky is an exact mirror image of the town. The people thought this was some kind of fanciful trick or prank in preparation for the Solstice Festival but became deeply concerned and fearful after the sounds of screaming and periodic drips of blood began to come from the mirror town. The adventurers sent up must fly or scale the steeples of the two churches. On arriving they find the town has been decorated for the day of the festival, but all the inhabitants - perfect matches for the ones below - have been butchered and killed. Worse still, there are still things lurking here...[/quote] The implication is that the fate of the above town is the future of the below one, and I have a few ways of illustrating this. What do you guys think would be good to have running around here? My original thought was a Hag Coven with a bunch of Meenlocks but I'd prefer if the monsters were more vague and esoteric with no real explanation of why this event is happening. Party is likely going to be around levels 3-5. Maybe lower.

[QUOTE=Hey I'm Grump;52001365]Give me some good quips against dwarves. Our racist dwarven cleric is always using the same lame harassment against me (Calling me half-breed cause i'm an elf) and the wizard (a full elf), and I need good stuff to say against him. [B]EDIT:[/B] I've already called him a walking beerkeg, a sentient side table, a rockfucker, and mentioned how it looks like his legs got sawn off.[/QUOTE] "your beard is so greasy, you could oil my sword with it!" "they say you are what you eat. if that's the case, you probably ate a whole beer keg!" "i see the rumors that lady dwarves have beards is true"

dunno if anyone really uses discord to play TT games but i'm making a discord bot that rolls dice [t]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/5168294/screencaps/Screenshot%202017-03-22%2013.30.23.png[/t] currently it has support for WoD including exploding dice and Shadowrun (the only two dice-pool systems i know) as well as regular rolling. currently implementing a dungeon master system for private rolls between a player and DM. are there any other features that might be good to add? i'm really only doing this for fun, but if anyone wants their own bot to run then just holla

So in street fight in Dark Heresy (after the city we're in descended into the civil war the GM had been hinting at), the Tech Priest in our party manages to lose two whole hit points after standing in the open being shot at and having a grenade thrown at him for the entire fight (that subdermal armour is good stuff), just plinking away one handed with a hand cannon (carrying some guy we managed to capture in the other). Our Sister of Battle meanwhile gets pinned down behind a car without a ranged weapon, so throws her two chain blades at the grunts. One hits a guy in the shoulder, injuring him. The other hits a guy straight in the throat in a critical hit, killing him. And my psyker? Tried to make one of the guys shoot his friend, which missed wildly and pissing them off. I spent most of the rest battle hiding behind another car and making the grunts thrown their guns away. Highlight was me making a guy throw his lasgun over his cover. He responded by throwing a grenade, which I dodged and the techpriest tanked. He then drew a laspistol, which then jammed. Which considering it needs a roll of a 100 to jam, is pretty damn impressive. He responded to this by throwing the gun at the techpriest and missing wildly :v:

Anybody here taken a look at Storm of Swords? It's a gritty, realistic medieval fantasy game. It's got Dark Heresy-level injury tables too, except instead of being critical hits, they're your regular hits. The beta rules are available to download on their [URL="http://www.songofswords.net/"]site[/URL]. The kickstarter is already done unfortunately, but the beta rules are still there.

[QUOTE=elitehakor;52006038]dunno if anyone really uses discord to play TT games but i'm making a discord bot that rolls dice currently it has support for WoD including exploding dice and Shadowrun (the only two dice-pool systems i know) as well as regular rolling. currently implementing a dungeon master system for private rolls between a player and DM. are there any other features that might be good to add? i'm really only doing this for fun, but if anyone wants their own bot to run then just holla[/QUOTE] If you could uh...[I]roll out[/I] a config for that to do One Roll Engine style rolling, It'd be much appreciated.

Really hate roll20's drawing system tbh, but it's 200% more usable if I sketch shit out on graph paper and then re-draw them in r20. Fuck paying for tile packs lol.

[QUOTE=Aezir;52008404]If you could uh...[I]roll out[/I] a config for that to do One Roll Engine style rolling, It'd be much appreciated.[/QUOTE] ooh that sounds like fun. will try [editline]24th March 2017[/editline] also at the behest of my friend, i changed the roll parameter to something more familiar (but more complicated to program >:c) [img]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/5168294/ShareX/2017/03/chrome_2017-03-24_22-17-05.png[/img]

I started writing a campaign and I wanted it to be standard "find and kill the necromancer before he raises an army" stuff. I drank a little and started writing and now the story goes that the party learns of a foul necromancer raising a dark army to conquer the lands with, and go to his dark fortress to defeat him. When they get there they discover the castle has pretty much been torn down and he has built a rather extravagant manor there instead. When they break in they discover the legendary necromancer and lich Asgarth the Blackheart has gone slightly insane from the constant consorting with the dark forces beyond his control and he lost control of his body, deteriorating into an insane skeleton. He now goes by Sir Bones the Grim, and he locks the party inside his manor as they enter. Instead of your standard dungeon fighting to him, he leads them through puzzles and insane traps he designed while singing musical numbers and throwing insane parties. I even wrote musical numbers for me to sing filled with skeleton and death puns. Towards the end the players realize that he isn't raising an army to scour the land anymore, at the end of his insane dungeon is actually the world's first nightclub cabaret, and he's been building to cater to the dead, and that he just put the players through the insane ringer because they were technically invading his property. He's raising the dead was so he could invite them to the show. Figured the party would either let him go ahead and he could become some sort of ally in the future or kill him to stop the insanity. If they let him go they could hear about Sir Bones the Grim and his travelling posse of performers terrorizing the land completely by accident, or if they kill him he'd haunt their ass. Was going to explain the weird anachronisms and the fact a skeleton invented jazz music by saying his mad rituals and experiments before he went nuts involved him looking into the future and different worlds and everything he saw became a jumbled mess in his rotten brain by the time the players found him. Is this too retarded to keep. I think it's a lot more interesting than the original idea but it's also something I thought up while drunk.

No no, that's fucking perfect. "find and kill the necromancer before he raises an army" is too retarded to keep. This new story is fucking gold.

what if he's trying to kill the group so they can be invited to the most lit undead party ever

that's one of the more original ideas i've ever heard and it's exactly my kind of humour

[QUOTE=JeSuisIkea;52010992]I started writing a campaign and I wanted it to be standard "find and kill the necromancer before he raises an army" stuff. I drank a little and started writing and now the story goes that the party learns of a foul necromancer raising a dark army to conquer the lands with, and go to his dark fortress to defeat him. When they get there they discover the castle has pretty much been torn down and he has built a rather extravagant manor there instead. When they break in they discover the legendary necromancer and lich Asgarth the Blackheart has gone slightly insane from the constant consorting with the dark forces beyond his control and he lost control of his body, deteriorating into an insane skeleton. He now goes by Sir Bones the Grim, and he locks the party inside his manor as they enter. Instead of your standard dungeon fighting to him, he leads them through puzzles and insane traps he designed while singing musical numbers and throwing insane parties. I even wrote musical numbers for me to sing filled with skeleton and death puns. Towards the end the players realize that he isn't raising an army to scour the land anymore, at the end of his insane dungeon is actually the world's first nightclub cabaret, and he's been building to cater to the dead, and that he just put the players through the insane ringer because they were technically invading his property. Him raising the dead was so he could invite them to the show. Figured the party would either let him go ahead and he could become some sort of ally in the future or kill him to stop the insanity. If they let him go they could hear about Sir Bones the Grim and his travelling posse of performers terrorizing the land completely by accident, or if they kill him he'd haunt their ass. Was going to explain the weird anachronisms and the fact a skeleton invented jazz music by saying his mad rituals and experiments before he went nuts involved him looking into the future and different worlds and everything he saw became a jumbled mess in his rotten brain by the time the players found him. Is this too retarded to keep. I think it's a lot more interesting than the original idea but it's also something I thought up while drunk.[/QUOTE] Please post the results of this event once you can. I'd love to see how your players are going to handle this.

[QUOTE=Mellowbloom;52011296]what if he's trying to kill the group so they can be invited to the most lit undead party ever[/QUOTE] Oh that'd be fun. Even while he's trying to kill them for invading his property he's so chill he's keeps inviting them, but the way he says it makes it sound like he just wants to eat their soul. [video=youtube;r2S1I_ien6A]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2S1I_ien6A[/video] [B]A band of skeletons and ghosts playing instruments is revealed by magical spotlight on a raised platform as the dungeon begins to get wild and the traps unveil themselves. On another platform, a skeleton in a suit with a fancy hat and cane appears in a cloud of smoke.[/B] [B]Drum roll begins[/B] "You know they told me I couldn't be a performer, boys!" "You couldn't be a performer', Sir Bones?" shouts out a skeleton cellist. "They didn't even think I could play the TromBONE! But let me tell our guests what I can do now!" "What can you do now, Sir Bones?" shouts out a ghost. "Tell us what you do!" "Heh, well, I guess I can do that!" [B]Horns begin[/B] "I can dance, I can sing, I like to swing, and I like to sing! Oh I dance, and I sing and I can swing and did I say I love to sing?!" [B]Song starts[/B] "Oh welllcccooome to my home! We're gonna have such a ball! Oh move those femurs and come with me, oh the party hasn't even started yet! Yes leeeet's get reaaady! Let's go and break a leg! No don't you worry, don't you fret, cause I'm gonna get your whistle wet! Oh being a skeleton ain't so bad! At least when you got a funny bone! And being dead ain't so lonely, I got me a skeleton crew! Oh welllcccooome to my home! I hope you know how to move those bones! Rattle your ribs and move that coxal, my little party'll knock those socks off!" [editline]25th March 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=Kalan Yamato;52011453]Please post the results of this event once you can. I'd love to see how your players are going to handle this.[/QUOTE] Honestly been looking for a new group to play with, so it might be a bit. Will do if I ever get the chance though.

Also, this setup seems perfect for that one "overthinking" trap from [URL="http://media.oglaf.com/comic/trapmaster.jpg"]this oglaf comic[/URL].

[QUOTE=Lance99;52011739]Also, this setup seems perfect for that one "overthinking" trap from [URL="http://media.oglaf.com/comic/trapmaster.jpg"]this oglaf comic[/URL].[/QUOTE] I've been planning a lot of weird and funny traps the players can stumble on, mostly designed on them assuming he's a lot more sane and evil than he is. Been having trouble thinking of many though. Was thinking of one room where there is slots for keys on each wall and a red door, and a bucket nearby has a blue and red key. Maybe a few other oddities, traps and contraptions in the room too. It turns out it's just the fire door and is only supposed to open from the other side, they can knock and Sir Bones will just willingly open it for them while admonishing the party for not going through the main entrance.

Today in Unknown Armies: [quote]The group finds themselves in a mysterious otherworld consisting mainly of really long, interconnected hallways. They meet Uncle Jack, the 'lord' of the place, and he asks them to tell him stories while everyone sits down for tea(& coffee). After a while, they run out of stories they're willing to tell, so he sadly stands up and tells them how to leave, then asks them to wait for a moment, and leaves the room. When he gets back, he's holding a pair of knives, and promptly gets filled with lead while trying to stab them all to death.[/quote] The picture I gave Jack, for reference: [t]https://s3.amazonaws.com/files.d20.io/images/28008154/T3VYQzKHmsDDjcEn_XvYLQ/med.jpg?1485584212[/t]