D&D V6 - Edition jokes don't really make sense anymore - Games

God damn, i've been prepping for 2 weeks, writing up a intro session for a brand new group, buying new maps and miniatures, new rulebooks and source books, and over half of them message me the night before either dropping out or saying they won't be able to make it. Kind of shit that really makes me say fuck it at times.

What sucks is when you get a DM who you play a few sessions with then one day he just doesn't come back online. Guess that game is dead D: I was playing in a game with my First DM and some guys from his games with some other dude DMing and that happened. What a shame. It's not like the game time was in Ass O' clock so I don't know what happened.

The campaign I'm currently in has had sessions cancelled so frequently because of players not being able to make it that what was supposed to be a weekly thing is more a monthly thing even taking into account that we have 2-3 days of the week everyone's supposed to be free on and we're flexible with the day we play (and we are all turbonerds for tabletop so it's not even we don't [I]want[/I] to play). However this is more because we had only 3 players including myself and we don't exactly feel comfortable roleplaying with only 2 people (especially since we all had 2 characters to make up for low player count). We do have our fourth player now so we can at least keep them going if one man's down.

I mentioned in the post above that he hasn't come back online in forever and he just happens to come on last night few hours or so after I said that.. Basically hes working full time and trying to get his masters so he has 0 time for D&D. So RIP that campaign.

My Edge of the Empire party is at it again They get a job to smuggle some guns and return with the pay The real job, however, is to figure out where the local pirates preying on everyone (except the local Hutt bigwig, of course) are based. The Mando Bounty Hunter decides to achieve this by locking himself in a valuable-looking military crate with a homing beacon, and getting stolen in a boarding action. Next session is really gonna be something.

Here I go again, buying RPG books I'll probably never play. Anyone fancy playing Star Trek Adventures? :v:

On the subject of believable armor [t]https://i.imgur.com/dbJpjWS.jpg[/t]

If you want to talk about [I]really[/I] believable armor in RPGs, play Blade of the Iron Throne or Song of Swords. Gotta go for those weak points.

Does anyone else get annoyed that D&D is described as "Medieval" when it almost never is. No? Oh ok

[QUOTE=Destroyox;52832133]Does anyone else get annoyed that D&D is described as "Medieval" when it almost never is. No? Oh ok[/QUOTE] It's really this kind of funhouse-mirror-warped vision of the past, an amalgam of characteristics of something like a thousand years of vaguely European culture, with an equally warped view of the mythology and folklore of that time period layered on top of it. It's also kind of interesting because people will insist guns have no place in fantasy or DnD because "it's not medieval" even though we've had gunpowder weaponry since the 1300s.

3.5 literally had gun stats in the back of the book, including even laser pew-pew ones.

I'm pretty sure the DMG has guns listed in it, as well as future alien technology.

I'm aware there's guns in the DMG, but that's the thing - they're not just there for players to have like how you can just get a broadsword or set of chain mail, it's like a "DMs, here's an alternate thing you can try" suggestion. I also kind of meant it in a context broader than DnD but that's beside the point here.

Most people consider 'Medieval' to cover 700-1400, so 'since the 1300s' isn't really a whole lot of the Medieval period for guns to have existed.

Right, but like I said, DnD's idea of "medieval" incorporates more than just the Middle Ages. There's a fair bit of the Renaissance in there, with polearms and plate armor and such that a lot of people inaccurately (or semi-inaccurately) conflate with medieval warfare. [editline]29th October 2017[/editline] Maybe the reason DnD is described as medieval is because it originated from what were basically house rules for medieval wargame that allowed you to play individual units instead of commanding armies.

Big problem with D&D is that it's also thematically all over the place. Technologically all larger cities and some kingdoms have grown to major heights(or even more so, see Forgotten Realms' Lantan in 3.5e) but places are still sparsely populated and there's primitive barbarians and all sorts of eldritch abominations lurking almost right on the front door of some of the biggest cities in their respective settings. It's not really a problem of guns - it's a problem of no suspension of disbelief once you look deeper into the settings.

[QUOTE=ElectricSquid;52832748]Right, but like I said, DnD's idea of "medieval" incorporates more than just the Middle Ages. There's a fair bit of the Renaissance in there, with polearms and plate armor and such that a lot of people inaccurately (or semi-inaccurately) conflate with medieval warfare. [editline]29th October 2017[/editline] Maybe the reason DnD is described as medieval is because it originated from what were basically house rules for medieval wargame that allowed you to play individual units instead of commanding armies.[/QUOTE] I think its more accurate to say that people call it medieval because to most people Swords and armor = medieval.

D&D is medieval because history is for nerds

On the note of the whole medieval thing, European medieval is what most people think of I wager.

[url]https://www.tumblr.com/video/quetzalcoatl2k/166413495830/500/[/url]

[QUOTE=27X;52834960][url]https://www.tumblr.com/video/quetzalcoatl2k/166413495830/500/[/url][/QUOTE] where did you find this footage of my party?

[QUOTE=Ogopogo;52834074]On the note of the whole medieval thing, European medieval is what most people think of I wager.[/QUOTE] I mean, technically a lot of things noted to not be medieval did exist at that point - in China, for example, having Crossbows as early as 4th century BC. Which if [URL="facepunch.com"]fucking incredible[/URL], if you think about it.

An update on the Drow pretending to a human Cleric. We're about 10 sessions deep and the ruse is still going strong. I decided that despite speaking in bold, exaggerated old english that the persona should maintain some odd Drow quirks so the characters laugh became a low creepy chuckle. I've done it a few times now and one of the players paused, looked at me and said "Fuck off, no. That can't be his actual laugh". Despite all the weird red flags that's the one people have latched onto.

Drowning in a pool of healing potion liquid. EQUALS [img]https://facepunch.com/fp/ratings/tick.png[/img] DEATH [IMG]https://facepunch.com/fp/ratings/cross.png[/img] NOT DEATH I say death.

[IMG]https://scontent.fgru5-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/22901361_10155751860559847_770544778_n.jpg?oh=a187e5706a150c9cbe112d5c867a8c30&oe=59F95D1E[/IMG] one of my players is building a terrain. i can't wait to come up with a badass encounter for this. i'll help him paint it & add grass to it today!

So a guy in my group is obsessed with the wild magic sorcerer, but he rightly thinks that half of the wild magic surges in the handbook are pretty lame, So I've taken it upon myself to write a whole new table (using the best ones from the book and searching around for other custom surges of course.) I do have some pretty neat ones that I came up with all by myself though. :magic101: His Sorcerer rolls a lot more often for wild magic, and there are three tables, one entirely positive, one entirely negative and a wild table (the wild is circumstantial, random fluff, or positive with drawbacks) I need more wild effects, if anyone have any ideas, I'd love your input! [quote] [B]WILD[/B] 1. You are immediately transpositioned with your nearest allied creature 2. You are immediately transpositioned with the nearest hostile creature 3. You grow a set of ram-like horns. The only way to get rid of them is to file them down. 4. Any male creature with a penis within 50 feet of you gain an Erection that lasts for 5 hours 5. Smoke starts billowing out of your mouth, nose and ears. For one minute, you receive disadvantage to all ranged attacks, but gain ¾ cover 6. All garments and cloth items in a 60 feet radius around you take on a garish purple hue 7. Five horses complete with saddles and bits materialize at a random point around you within a 10 feet radius. Their stats are that of a normal horse from the Monster Manual, and they act like normal horses would in the given situation. If they are not killed within three hours they wither, and take on a ghoulish appearance. They immediately turn hostile to you and your allies, gaining a charge attack (+6 to hit, 2d12 damage) and Bite (+6 to hit, paralyze 1 minute CONsave 12, 3D8 damage) 8. A wave of healing magic surges from you, healing all creatures for 3D10 Hp in a 30 feet radius. Undead and constructs are not affected 9. You are bathed in a shimmering purple light. As it fades your gender is swapped. This effect lasts for 2d4 days, or until you are targeted by a Remove Curse Spell. 10. Any spell effect in a 60 feet radius around you are immediately dispelled. This does not affect magical or enchanted items or creatures. (at the DM's discretion) 11. You Cast the spell Fog Cloud Centered upon yourself 12. A Surge of Necromantic energy surrounds you, dealing 2D10 Necrotic damage to any creatures within 30 feet of you. You are healed for half of the total damage dealt. If this effect kills any creatures, you are healed the full amount of damage dealt to that creature 13. The spell you are trying to cast becomes another, random sorcerer spell of the same level. Treat the spell list as a random table and roll on it. You must cast the spell rolled, but you are allowed to expend any remaining movement you have and change targets before casting the new spell. 14. A rather large lump grows in your chest. A Medicine check of 18 or higher will successfully extract a Gemstone worth 2500 Gp from your chest cavity close to your heart, dealing only 20 slashing damage to you. A medicine check of 5-17 will extract it dealing 45 slashing damage, and 1-5 will hack it out dealing 80 slashing damage. 15. A Deep Bass note emanates from you. Any creature near enough to feel the vibrations of the sound (at the DM's discretion) must make a Constitution saving throw (18) or loose control of their bowels. 16. Irresistible Music starts emanating from you for 1d4 rounds. Any creature that can hear it must succeed on a wisdom saving roll equal to your spell save dc, or spend their entire turn dancing. On subsequent turns you must use an action to make the saving roll. Once saved, a creature is immune to this effect for 24 hours. 17. Your eyes become grey and vacuous, a tiny, naked version of yourself immediately bursts out of your chest. This new you is considered a tiny creature. You grow at the rate of one size a round, until you reach your normal size. All items and clothes you were carrying must be stripped off your old body and re-equipped. (This does not affect attunement) Your new body is at full health, and has no scars, tattoos or similar damage. 18. Your heart starts beating like a hummingbird, infusing your with magical vigor. You gain the effect of the “Haste” spell for 2 rounds. The extra action you gain can be used as a normal haste effect, but also to cast a spell up to Level 3. As the effect ends, in addition to the normal haste drawbacks, roll a D4. On a 1, you suffer two points of exhaustion. On any other value you gain a single point of exhaustion. 19. Roll on this table every round for three rounds 20. Flip a coin. If it lands on heads, you grow a size. If it lands on tails, you shrink one size. This effect lasts for 24 hours. 21. You gain the ability to speak one new language. However, you lose the ability to speak one language you already know. Roll on the language table to determine which new language you acquire 22. You are unable to become drunk for the next 3d6 days 23. You cast the spell Invisibility upon every creature in a 30 feet radius. This effect lasts for 1 minute, or until the invisible creature attacks, or casts a spell. 24. For a full minute you can only communicate by shouting 25. You grow a magnificent set of antlers that shed after 24 hours 26. Any copper pieces upon your person turns into gold pieces. Any gold piece turns into copper. Any electrum pieces turns into platinum and vice versa 27. you start glowing brightly for 1 minute, shedding bright light in a thirty feet radius, and dim light in a 60 feet radius. Any creature that can see within 5 feet of you is blinded. 28. The next target you kill within 1 hour explode, showering any creatures around it with gore, and dealing 3d6 damage to any creature in a 10 feet radius 29. If you die within the next minute you are immediately brought back to life as per the Reincarnate Spell. 30. You cast Fly on a random creature within 60 feet of you. 31. Treat the colors of the rainbow as a random table. (also throw pink in there) Roll upon this table. Your skin becomes a vibrant shade of this color until you are targeted by a Remove Curse Spell. The DM must roll some dice behind his screen, and declare that you do not know how long the duration will last. 32. A demon whose CR is as close as possible to your level appears near you. Make a CHA saving roll at your spell DC. If you make it, the demon is subservient, otherwise, it is hostile. The demon, if not banished or defeated, vanishes at the next dawn. It may remember the encounter at the DM's discretion [B]Positive[/B] 1. After you complete this turn, You are turned into an unusually fast white rabbit. You may immediately disengage and take a move action of 80 feet, (and 30 feet jump) Your size decrease to Tiny. The effect ends at the start of your next turn 2. You regain 1D4+1 Sorcery points. You cannot regain more than your max 3. You regain all expended sorcery points 4. You feel no effect, but the next 2 spells you cast will deal maximum damage. 5. You gain resistance to every damage type for the next minute 6. You Cast the spell Mass Cure wounds Centered upon yourself 7. You cast the spell Haste upon yourself 8. Any damage you suffer from an attack until the end of your next turn will not affect you, but is reflected to your attacker(s) Environmental damage does not apply to this, and will harm you as usual 9. Creatures have disadvantage on saving throws for any spell effect you impose on them the next minute. 10. You gain a Healing factor, for a number of rounds equal to your character level your wounds heal at the rate of 3 hp per round. As the effect ends, you are cured of all poison and disease. This does not affect powerful magical poisons and diseases, at the Dm's discretion 11. Your fingernails grow into vicious claws, for 2D12+6 hours you gain proficiency with unarmed strikes and your unarmed damage dice becomes 1D12+Dex. 12. Your skin hardens, giving you a +2 to your AC for 1d4 hours 13. You immediately regain four levels of spell slots. (4 first lvl, 3 second level, 2 third level or 1 fourth level) If you haven't expended any slots, you may stack these extra slots on top of your normal max, but the DM may at his discretion force you to roll for wild magic at any point when you have these "temporary slots" 14. A hedge knight immediately materializes in front of you and swears his undying fealty to you. He is considered a Level 1 Fighter, and will level up at the same rate as you, taking the “Champion” sub class if he reaches level 3. You control this NPC during combat. The knight will try to follow the knights code of ethics, but will follow any command you give. If you already have such a knight in your employ, your knight automatically gains one level. 15. You feel calm and content. Any charm, disease, poison or fear effect you are currently experiencing is immediately dispelled, and the next time you are forced to roll on the negative wild magic surge table, you may choose to roll on the positive instead. Your breath becomes minty fresh for 1D4 Days 16. Your thoughts feels unnaturally crisp, and your body feels lighter and stronger. You gain +2 to every stat for 1D4+2 Days. 17. A third eye sprouts in your forehead, giving you advantage on perception checks for 3D12 Hours. You look hella weird, but you see very well 18. You gain the ability to teleport up to 20 feet as a bonus action for a full minute. This is a wonderful opportunity to shout “Blink and you'll miss it!” to your opponents 19. You may immediately make an additional action 20. For one minute, all spells you cast that have a casting time of one action now has the casting time of one bonus action 21. You immediately gain 25 Temporary hitpoints 22. Roll twice on this table. If you roll this again, re-roll. [B]Negative[/B] 1. A blinding blitz of light issues from your hands. You take 1D6 radiant damage, and every creature in a 30 feet radius are blinded until the end of your next turn. Creatures that does not rely on sight are unaffected by this 2. After your spell completes You are turned into a Turtle. Your speed for this duration is 5 feet and your size decrease to Tiny. This effect ends at the end of your next turn 3. Your skin takes on a pallid and corpse-like sheen. Pockmarks stain your skin, and weeping sores open up in your face. You receive a -4 penalty to your charisma score. If you are proficient in any charisma based skills you lose this proficiency for the duration. This effect lasts for 1d4 Days, or until you are healed by a spell of greater restoration. 4. Any Foodstuffs in a 1 mile feet radius of you immediately rots. Grain molds, milk turns sour and meat is ridden with maggots. 5. You immediately cast the spell Otiluke's resilient sphere upon yourself. You cannot willingly dispel it until the end of your next turn, but you may choose to retain your concentration on the spell for a full minute. If you are already maintaining concentration on another spell, this concentration is broken. 6. You lose the ability to speak for a full minute. When you try to talk, pink bubbles fly out of your mouth 7. You start rapidly aging. This turn, and every subsequent turn your body ages 20 years. When you reach 60 years you receive a -2 penalty to strength, this increases to -4 when you reach 80. at 95. your body withers away and turns to dust. All your items, weapons and armor are left behind. From the dust emerges a newborn baby. You keep aging at the same speed until you reach your original age. You retain your original hp value, and all items must be re-equipped. 8. You immediately cast the spell Reverse Gravity centered upon yourself. If you are currently concentrating on a different spell, this concentration is broken. You may choose to break or maintain concentration of this spell at your leisure. 9. Your limbs feel heavy, your skin turns gray and saggy, and you gain vulnerability to all types of damage for the next 1D4+1 Rounds 10. You cast the spell Fireball Centered upon yourself 11. You cast the spell Grease Centered upon yourself 12. You Cast the spell Feign Death Centered upon yourself. If a creature spends an action trying to wake you, the spell effect ends (The Dm must Worriedly ask you how much HP the player have, then state that you simply fall over, dead.) 13. You Cast the spell Wall of Ice. The wall appears five feet in front of you, and stretches 30 feet to both sides, or until hindered by walls or sufficiently large obstacles. 14. A deafening sonic boom erupts from you. All creatures within a 120 feet radius takes 1D6 Thunder Damage and must succeed on a Constitution check equal to your spell save DC or be knocked prone 15. your eyes become clouded, and you suffer disadvantage on perception checks for 3D12 Hours. You don't look too good, in every sense of the word. 16. The spell you are trying to cast explodes in your hands, targeting yourself. If you are already casting upon yourself, it shoots out from you and targets the nearest creature instead 17. All of your items and clothes disappear until the end of your next turn. This does not affect attunement. 18. Highly flammable gas starts erupting from every single orifice of your body. This gas surrounds you in a thirty feet radius for three rounds of combat. If the gas is ignited, it acts like a fireball. The gas can be dispersed by strong winds, or magic similar to the Gust cantrip 19. Necromantic energy surrounds you, and saps you for 3 hp for a number of rounds equal to your character level. If this effect reduces your hp to 0, you fall unconscious (stable) 20. Your thoughts become clouded, and your body feels unnaturally heavy and weak. You suffer -2 to every stat for 1d4 days 21. Your skin turn pallid and almost transparent. Giving you -2 to your AC for 1d4 hours 22. Any magic item you are currently attuned to looses it's attunement. This does not break the effect of cursed items. (but still breaks attunement) 23. Creatures have advantage on any spell effect you impose on them for the next minute. 24. The next time you roll on the positive table, you must instead roll on the negative. Your breath smells like feces for 1d4 days 25. You immediately expend four levels of spell slots. (4 first lvl, 3 second level, 2 third level or 1 fourth level) If you have already expended the slots you choose, you do not regenerate your slots at the next long rest. 26. You feel no effect, but the next two spells you cast deal minimum damage. 27. Roll Twice on this table. If you roll this again, re-roll. [/quote]

[QUOTE=xeo xeo;52836794]So a guy in my group is obsessed with the wild magic sorcerer, but he rightly thinks that half of the wild magic surges in the handbook are pretty lame, So I've taken it upon myself to write a whole new table (using the best ones from the book and searching around for other custom surges of course.) I do have some pretty neat ones that I came up with all by myself though. :magic101: His Sorcerer rolls a lot more often for wild magic, and there are three tables, one entirely positive, one entirely negative and a wild table (the wild is circumstantial, random fluff, or positive with drawbacks) I need more wild effects, if anyone have any ideas, I'd love your input![/QUOTE] There's a bigass chart in the AD&D Tome of Magic (where Wild Magic was first introduced). That one is risky and dangerous! It has some really good, some really nasty, and some strange effects that may cause whatever spell you were casting to fizzle instead of working. In addition to the wild surge, it did stuff like altering caster level (in 5e's case it'd maybe increase or decrease the slot level used for the spell), and happened with a 1 in 20 chance every spell they cast, more for a wild magic spell (which had it's own unique spells back then, like Nahal's Reckless Dweomer or other such spells).

[QUOTE=gufu;52835473]I mean, technically a lot of things noted to not be medieval did exist at that point - in China, for example, having Crossbows as early as 4th century BC. Which if [URL="facepunch.com"]fucking incredible[/URL], if you think about it.[/QUOTE] Yet in most people's mind, they'd probably put the crossbow as a mid-late medieval weapon, with early ones being almost experimental or exotic.

Turns out my college has a medium-quality 3d printer located on-campus that all the students can use. I'm gonna test it out wednesday to see the quality of a miniature print. If it's anything to write home about, I'm gonna make further use of it in the future.

[QUOTE=Hey I'm Grump;52838139]Turns out my college has a medium-quality 3d printer located on-campus that all the students can use. I'm gonna test it out wednesday to see the quality of a miniature print. If it's anything to write home about, I'm gonna make further use of it in the future.[/QUOTE] I'm in a similar boat, but I don't think my school's public printer can manage the resolution needed for small models.