D&D V6 - Edition jokes don't really make sense anymore - Games

[QUOTE=cdr248;53115230]Not gonna lie I don't know why anyone plays DnD other than the sheer amount of fucking same-y content[/QUOTE] Why do people still play League of Legends? Why do people still play World of Warcraft? Because it's fun and they enjoy it. Just because you don't doesn't mean that everyone feels that way.

From now on we are recording our sessions. I don't know why we didn't do this before. It's so nice to be able to listen to my fucking nightmare of a party any time :v:

[QUOTE=The Jack;53116020]My biggest problem with DnD is that it's, as you say, "babby's first rp". When I play a different system there's a good chance that everyone's "hardcore" enough that they'll make good characters, the GM will have some experience and'll get people good into the setting if they haven't tried that particular RPG. When you play DnD, that chance is less. Even if you think you're good with your friends, you could find that some of them are the worst players/GMs either due to being inexperienced or flat out retards, and even if most of your group is fucking fantastic, one or two people being shit'll ruin things because they're somehow actively shit. Now most people start somewhere, and it's pretty common for people to make first characters that are bad in some way, but I think some people don't learn. Also DnD seems to be the game that people bring their particular friend to play, and you somehow [I]know[/I] that person isn't going to be good at it, everyone knows that they aren't going to be good with it, and their character'll still be bad even four or five sessions in, and the game's just gimped by their very presence. The player'll be there till the game [I]ends[/I], but mostly because the game ended quick.[/QUOTE] Why are your opinions so consistently shitty and/or elitist bullshit?

[QUOTE=UzumakaiPatch;53116846]Why are your opinions so consistently shitty and/or elitist bullshit?[/QUOTE] Jack is the man gifted with capability of being always disagreeable, no matter what subject is brought up.

Why am I always so bad with thinking up names, need names for two npcs in this campaign, ones a dwarven dragon rider, the others a borderline psychopathic human military wizard specializing in long range artillery spells. In unrelated things I also need a name for a merchant/mining nation that's mostly human :v:

Kuldurn Foetaker if "nordic dwarf", Bhodi Thrandurs if "classic dwarf" Stellen "The Render" Narshe As for nations if you're doing a high adventure naming merchant countries with name combining feminine attributes with a renaissance flair (usually romantic or latin) has been a thing since ever: Merinde, Anatien, Cadassus, Niovin etc if low then giving an ethnic push is usually a thing: Kar-Adasha, Lucreius (yes that's a pun), Travann, Ysaruum, etc

I've always found fantasy names very easy, i can come up with several on the fly and have to because my players love befriending every bystander. I also GM Edge of the Empire, and i suck at coming up with star wars names. There's barely any resources that help, that don't all sound ridiculous.

[QUOTE=jackattack;53116982]I've always found fantasy names very easy, i can come up with several on the fly and have to because my players love befriending every bystander. I also GM Edge of the Empire, and i suck at coming up with star wars names. There's barely any resources that help, that don't all sound ridiculous.[/QUOTE] Just remember that almost all first names are 1-2 syllables tops, usually just 1, and that last names tend to be pretty ridiculous already (Darklighter, Skywalker, Solo, Katarn, Palpatine, Rendar, ect) but most of them are rather short and to the point too. Not quite ridiculous fantasy name level... usually.

[QUOTE=Chronische;53116998]Just remember that almost all first names are 1-2 syllables tops, usually just 1, and that last names tend to be pretty ridiculous already (Darklighter, Skywalker, Solo, Katarn, Palpatine, Rendar, ect) but most of them are rather short and to the point too. Not quite ridiculous fantasy name level... usually.[/QUOTE] Jedi Master Reb Brown.

[QUOTE=jackattack;53116982]I've always found fantasy names very easy, i can come up with several on the fly and have to because my players love befriending every bystander. I also GM Edge of the Empire, and i suck at coming up with star wars names. There's barely any resources that help, that don't all sound ridiculous.[/QUOTE] I can write entire nations and political systems in the time it takes me to think of a name for that nation :v:

[QUOTE=jackattack;53116982]I've always found fantasy names very easy, i can come up with several on the fly and have to because my players love befriending every bystander. I also GM Edge of the Empire, and i suck at coming up with star wars names. There's barely any resources that help, that don't all sound ridiculous.[/QUOTE] probably because star wars names are ridiculous casual reminder that when the developers of the force unleashed asked lucas to give starkiller a "darth" name, his two actual serious suggestions were darth insanious and [i]darth icky[/i]

[QUOTE=cdr248;53113795]Anyone else ever bothered by video games that actually use DnD's rules almost verbatim. I've been trying to get into the Neverwinter Nights series but I can't stand the how clunky the systems are[/QUOTE] forget neverwinter nights singleplayer, because it is the best [B]online[/B] rpg of all time. i play in a server where everything is roleplayed, no OOC (unless you private message people). the economy is moved by players, so all magic items and shit that you buy are made by enchanters, dwarven artisans, etc; all players characters. there are many DMs online and they will interfere in your shit at any point; taking control of regular NPCs and creating random encounters, these may prompt DM-orchestrated side quests (called DM events) if players take the bait; with a DM narrating it and everything! if you're in the middle of a DM event, you can ping the DM channel saying stuff like "may i try and push that boulder out of the way?" or "what does my character see in the distance?" etc. they will have you roll dice and narrate your outcome, just like real D&D. the players also have a lot of power; community choices interfere so much with the world that [B]entire cities where people lived in and had an impact in trade have been destroyed in wars started by the players.[/B] today you can go up to these cities and you will find only ruins. the DMs will see what the players are up to and create events based on that stuff. right now the big threat is a group of followers of cyric (again, all players) that are plotting to take down the government of a city so they can take control. the DMs are obviously aware of this and will soon orchestrate something based on the actual world events. my barbarian even wrote a shitty poem and it became a sort of inside joke in the arcane tower, people ended up printing the poem into a book and now you can find it on the cordor city library for grabs. oh and to top it all off, there's an entire population of players in the underdark as well.

[QUOTE=MenteR;53117214]neverwinter nights is the best online rpg of all time. i play in a server where everything is roleplayed, no OOC (unless you private message people). the economy is moved by players, so all magic items and shit that you buy are made by enchanters, dwarven artisans, etc. and they're all players. there are many DMs online and they will interfere in your shit at any point. they will do DM events and the community choice interferes so much with the world that [B]entire cities where people lived in and had an impact in trade have been destroyed in wars started by the players.[/B] today you can go up to these cities and you will find only ruins. all these things are orchestrated by the DMs. my barbarian even wrote a shitty poem and it became a sort of inside joke in the arcane tower, people ended up printing the poem into a book and now you can find it on the cordorian (some city) library for grabs.[/QUOTE] Are there any channels that chronicle all this stuff? It sounds like it'd be an awesome thing to listen to in the background while working.

[QUOTE=Crimor;53117220]Are there any channels that chronicle all this stuff? It sounds like it'd be an awesome thing to listen to in the background while working.[/QUOTE] people will chronicle these events with written stories and there's also a wiki with a timeline of events, but other than that not really. i guess you have to play it to really feel how vast and alive it is. it's quite unbelievable really. the server is called arelith by the way. look it up; great community, great DMs.

[QUOTE=croguy;53117074]Jedi Master Reb Brown.[/QUOTE] A master of the force scream [video=youtube;df9EAyI_M2o]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=df9EAyI_M2o[/video]

Okay, this is going to be a massive wall of text TL:DR my party go through a dungeon, meet a beholder at its end and have such an amazingly fun and hilarious time doing it I'm now going to be recording all our future sessions. So, this begins with the party Gnome bard/warlock - Tozu Dwarf Cleric - Flint (the same player who once played GASTON who I've talked about before) Dragonborn monk/warrior - Vox (the very same Dragonborn monk I've talked about before) Elf druid/ranger - thia Half Drow bard - Sarial They travel through the desert to a ruined city called Serencia, home of the (long dead) mad wizard King Arbus the unhinged, to escort an NPC into the deepest part of the castle dungeons to find a good reward. They traverse the city avoiding and fighting Orcs where they can and the face off against the Castle's mighty defences, both magical and not. [U]Vox[/U], the Dragonborn monk lays down caltrops along their only exit. Thanks Vox. They sneak through the castle, rescue a young women who'll assist them later but couldn't leave, because of Vox setting up traps, eventually she leaves and they meet the head Orc: BLOOD ROT-GUT, the bard swagger in and asks for an interview with him. He succeeded. They manage to cast sleep on him, tie him up with chains and then find the entrance to the dungeon behind a locked door that looks like that [url=https://i.ytimg.com/vi/PO28S-Gk7ho/maxresdefault.jpg]Silent Hills: The Room door. [/url] Tozu goes up to it and picks it with such a high success that the lock actually quivers and moan then dissolves in a wave of ecstasy. My campaign is high fantasy, even lowly peasents have minor enchanted items like unbreakable hoes and shit So I have a lot of custom magic items and spells, one of these are alters of teleportation a magical book that can teleport groups up to a few miles. This was the entrance to the dungeon, after they arrived they where inside a [B]HUGE[/B] library with walls so high that they seemed to cave inwards on themselves. The rooms ahead held the information for the whole ancient world, this was the entrance to the library of Arbus. To get through the hidden magical locks they'd have to fill a large bowl located at the start, with a certain magical liquid found only at the end of three dungeon paths The three paths being: The path of mysticism, the path of Arcane and the path of illusions. The NPC they where escorting warns them that The mad wizard king Arbus the unhinged was as his name suggested, not all there and was incredibly sadistic, these paths where undoubtedly filled with traps. He'd wait at the start and look around while they went ahead to get the liquid. They tried the first path. A large pit with a rusty swinging axe confronted them. They figured out the axe was illusionary but so was the floor at the other end of the trap, next was a backwards flowing waterfall that stopped them pressing forward until they fiddled with some statues containing water. They walked up the now frozen waterfall and where dragged under by a magical current and thrown into a pitch black void, A void with no gravity or floor, they where free floating in zeroG There was a bright light at the end, a hole to the next room and they had to figure out how to propel themselves over to it, they did in the end with the Dragonborn monk Vox being ingenuous be swinging a heavy weight on the end of a rope and swinging it at high speed to create a very slow motion. Once they all reached the room they found a simple lever, pulling it teleportation them all the way back to the NPC where they started and the liquid slowly appeared. And because the liquid was described as [I]white[/I] they shout "IT'S CUM!" because they are immature children. [url=http://static5.businessinsider.com/image/58336b75ba6eb66d268b5688-480/facepalm-statue.png] my reaction[/url] The bowl is 1/3 full, so they go through the next path. The first puzzle is colour mixing, three angels statues that have primary colour spells, four statues that need the secondary colours, with clues to show that colour they need, pretty basic stuff, they didn't have that much trouble. The second was a bit harder because it was an edited version of the [url=https://i.ytimg.com/vi/MI5iMn_lFzE/maxresdefault.jpg] four statue puzzle from the witcher 3[/url] Vox, being the genius he his AS SOON as he entered, before I even finished describing the room started to physically pull the statues apart and was swiftly punished. The final puzzle just being a simple riddle carved into a perfectly smooth stone that blocks the way. "I run smoother than any rhyme, I love to crumble but cannot climb." [url=http://www.santosaphuket.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/170802120652_1_900x600.jpg] -Answer-[/url] using the answer on the wall revealed the way. Lever ahead, same deal as before. The final dungeon path got a bit fun. The first room was piled with gold, mirrors, and rare items but also banners with the symbol for Illusion, in the centre an alter that demands that an item be placed in its centre to open the way. The trick with this one is there is an illusionary item in the room, and when held against the mirror will show its true nature, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to do this without having the physical room there, with all the items. So I spent a day beforehand drawing the whole room, and included the item in it, so now they'd have a physical item to look at and they'd have to actually use their eyes to try and find it. I can upload a photo if you guys want and you can have a go if you want. They found it eventually and on to the next room. The next room had a lever exactly the same as the ones they find at the end but with a statue and a small room behind it. Without discussing it with each other, Flint, the Cleric pulled the lever and it transformed into a [url=http://forgottenrealms.wikia.com/wiki/Glabrezu]Glabrezu[/url] however Sarial the Half Drow bard saw through its illusion and saw that her teammates where just pummelling the [B]FUCK[/B] out of themselves. Flint got "grappled" by the Glabrezu but he was just rolling on the floor hitting himself in the face so hard he went into saving throws... The Glabrezu was actually just a women bound by [url=http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/imprisonment.htm] Imprisonment[/url] which in of itself wouldn't be too bad except the room was filling with VERY REAL water from 8 decanters of endless water. The women was confused and wished to be freed but the party had no real way to do it. With the water rising they did the only other choice they could think of, they slit her neck. The water pressure got so great however they where blown straight through the doors. Vox, grabbed the unconscious Flint... And rode him as a surfboard... All the way through the final puzzle into the lever room which telrported them all out. With the final path done, the center bowl was filled, the liquid vanished and it opened to reveal a swirling vortex. They all jumped in. They stood in the library of Arbus, an impossible place that contained every book, scroll and written text in all creation, Arbus hoarded knowledge and his desire was unquenchable. They collection grew even in his death to such immeasurable heights that the library had its own ecosystem[B]s[/B] and climate[B]s[/B] this was a land all on its own isolated and yet in every era in every dimension and in none. They look over these sights and turn round to find a beholder staring them down directly behind them. I put on the absolute most insane voices for this guy, I was switching between accent and pitch with every word, syllables would be stressed for way longer than would need be and overall tried to display the insanity of this beholder, called Zeruabus. He demanded to know why these people entered, why they are still alive and where his good friend Arbus the unhinged was. The party pulled out every skill to true and sneak away, or get behind him. But the hundred eyes wouldn't let them. Zeruabus was intrigued by Tozu, as he possessed a book that the library didn't have (his own personal journal.) and demanded to read it. He then demanded that the party shall entertain Zeruabus by telling a unique story, one that has never been told before, STARING Zeruabus as its protagonist. And Flint would start it. So he did, and Zeruabus would interrupt Flint occasionally by demanding that the evil villain be called this and that. (because I'm not a totally evil DM, I know some people can suffer with coming up with names so I game them the names.) Anyway Flint began telling his story, while the actual bard's hurriedly started writing an ACTUAL story. It began with Zeruabus's love being kidnapped by the most feeble, detestable and vile Carabok Zeruabus travelled far and wide seeking his love, and finding the castle of Carabok he effortlessly slaughtered the minions of Carabok, only to find a smaller beholder at the end say "sorry Zeruabus, your beholder is in another castle!" the room erupts into laughter. Zeruabus demands Flint continues the story. "only if you give 5.95 gold."[url=https://cdn-s3.si.com/images/World-Series-Game-7-Cubs-fans-9.jpg]*party reaction, accompanied by the shouting of "you fucking madman!"* WHEN HIS PERSUASION [B]WORKS[/B][/url] The Dragonborn monk, Vox decided to take over. He tells how the mighty Beholder travels to the next castle, and received a telepathic message from his love telling him that she is in the castle's deepest level, being held by his worst enemy. He travels down, obliterating anything that dares cross him, before he [del] stands[/del] Floats before the Evil Carabok. Vox - "Carabok laughs at Zeruabus and dares to attack you.." Me - "THAT INSOLENT RAT! I'D DESTROY HIM" Vox - "I pull out my bone dice set... And explain that this is a D20..." He, the Dragonborn monk then in game, makes the beholder roll for attack. And they then start to play DnD in game [url=https://media3.giphy.com/media/1ofR3QioNy264/giphy.gif]The party loses its shit with each dice roll exactly like this.[/url] I stand up and have to walk away for a moment because I'm laughing too much, we are all crying, with headaches. The beholder is about to be reunited with his love, but before that can happen Vox asks the [I]beholder[/I] a riddle. iirc it's a riddle from The legend of Zelda, the answer being friendship or love. The beholder doesn't know the answer, he flies into a rage and threatens to destroy the party if he(Vox) doesn't give the answer. Vox, like a fucking champion motions to the [B]endless[/B] library that stretches before them and says. "your answer, is in one of these books." The beholder, launches himself at the nearest mile high bookshelf and physically tears into each book screaming as he throws the books aside. The party simply walk away not looking back. The party defeated the beholder. They grab their rewards, and we end the session. Sadly we didn't record that session, but our last session we did. 6 hours of it. And it was just as good. That was our greatest session, I'll remember that encounter for the rest of my life.

Hey, if anyone is interested, Matt Colville's kickstarter for a 5e book on Strongholds and Followers has launched. They surpassed the first goal of $50,000 in about 30 minutes. [url]https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/255133215/strongholds-and-streaming[/url]

We were challenging a Stone Golem to an arm wrestle against our demon barbarian. Our barbarian lost a bet of 30g. He went double or nothing and lost again. He then backed from the deal, enraging the Golem. We all had to fight the golem to save his ass. Once we had a painful stalemate, he agreed to back off cause the bet wasn't worth risking our lives over. Before we went our weak little half-ling cleric wanted a go. She rolled a 20. By the power of the light she beat the Golem at his own game. He was too embarrassed to show his face in town again. [I]"The Tale of the Hobbit and the Golem"[/I].

So my character (rogue) recently got a pet flying monkey. I get to teach it three tricks! The first trick is that it can spy on people's hands when playing cards so I can cheat. Does anyone else have ideas for what the other tricks could be? Teach it throw poop at enemies for instance?

If it has a prehensile tail use it to pickpocket people by sitting on their shoulder and getting into stuff with it's tail, teach it a goofy song to distract people and gather a crowd while you steal their stuff/gain entry to _____/put stuff in the thing where stuff goes.

[QUOTE=Zombinie;53122813]So my character (rogue) recently got a pet flying monkey. I get to teach it three tricks! The first trick is that it can spy on people's hands when playing cards so I can cheat. Does anyone else have ideas for what the other tricks could be? Teach it throw poop at enemies for instance?[/QUOTE] Picking pockets is a classic, and retrieving things way out of reach (even more useful since it can fly)

Teach it reverse pickpocketing so you can put garlic on any vampires you encounter.

So I actually did something ludicrous and it worked I managed to abstract an entire war in Rogue Trader into a flowchart/boardgame thing, and it actually worked... pretty fucking well. Didn't have to spend multiple sessions going through piles of minutae, didn't have to stat dozens of things that get ignored, and just got to do lots of fluff and writing instead of needing to worry so much about rules. Granted, my players also utterly wrecked it and got an almost-flawless victory, but hey, proof of concept, and they seemed to like it, so gonna have fun doing an updated variation for whatever the next war they get into is

[QUOTE=MenteR;53117214]forget neverwinter nights singleplayer, because it is the best [B]online[/B] rpg of all time. i play in a server where everything is roleplayed, no OOC (unless you private message people). the economy is moved by players, so all magic items and shit that you buy are made by enchanters, dwarven artisans, etc; all players characters. there are many DMs online and they will interfere in your shit at any point; taking control of regular NPCs and creating random encounters, these may prompt DM-orchestrated side quests (called DM events) if players take the bait; with a DM narrating it and everything! if you're in the middle of a DM event, you can ping the DM channel saying stuff like "may i try and push that boulder out of the way?" or "what does my character see in the distance?" etc. they will have you roll dice and narrate your outcome, just like real D&D. the players also have a lot of power; community choices interfere so much with the world that [B]entire cities where people lived in and had an impact in trade have been destroyed in wars started by the players.[/B] today you can go up to these cities and you will find only ruins. the DMs will see what the players are up to and create events based on that stuff. right now the big threat is a group of followers of cyric (again, all players) that are plotting to take down the government of a city so they can take control. the DMs are obviously aware of this and will soon orchestrate something based on the actual world events. my barbarian even wrote a shitty poem and it became a sort of inside joke in the arcane tower, people ended up printing the poem into a book and now you can find it on the cordor city library for grabs. oh and to top it all off, there's an entire population of players in the underdark as well.[/QUOTE] I didn't even think people were still playing multiplayer, I assumed servers were shutdown. I still want to go through Mask of the Betrayer though I heard that was good. [editline]11th February 2018[/editline] [QUOTE=SiberysTranq;53123268]So I actually did something ludicrous and it worked I managed to abstract an entire war in Rogue Trader into a flowchart/boardgame thing, and it actually worked... pretty fucking well. Didn't have to spend multiple sessions going through piles of minutae, didn't have to stat dozens of things that get ignored, and just got to do lots of fluff and writing instead of needing to worry so much about rules. Granted, my players also utterly wrecked it and got an almost-flawless victory, but hey, proof of concept, and they seemed to like it, so gonna have fun doing an updated variation for whatever the next war they get into is[/QUOTE] I'd like to see what you did because i was always interested in those sort of metagame things

I'm starting to realize how powerful barbarian can be in 5e. I just hit 8th level and between Reckless Attack, the Savage Attacker feat, and the Great Weapon Mastery feat I can dish out boatloads of damage every round. On top of that, I have 111hp and took the totem path of the Bear, to give me resistance to everything but psychic damage. I'm a goddamn murder machine and damage sponge. The one downside is that I don't have a lot of options, especially when it comes to range or mobility, but I make up for that with sheer power. [editline]11th February 2018[/editline] I also 1v1'd a drider (CR 6) at lvl 7 pretty easily, which is when I started to realize my full potential.

My players asked me to draw the [B]entire[/B] world the game is set in, and a whole bunch of NPCs I live for designing fantasy maps Any ideas for keeping 4 sheets of A1 drawing paper together?

[QUOTE=_Maverick_;53124279]My players asked me to draw the [B]entire[/B] world the game is set in, and a whole bunch of NPCs I live for designing fantasy maps Any ideas for keeping 4 sheets of A1 drawing paper together?[/QUOTE] Gluing them to a larger poster board

Me and a friend were discussing the notion of having the Seven Deadly Sins manifest in a world as actual aspects or lesser gods, typically when a society became indulgent in one particular sin. Think Slaneesh from 40k basically. We came up with a pretty interesting notion for Sloth and how it would run its course: Basically once a society reached a peak golden age during peace time and the people became comfortable Sloth would begin to take hold. The citizens would grow apathetic to the going ons of outside world, and then eventually their own nation. Everyone would become hooked on their comfortable routine until eventually that stopped bringing them any joy. Then one evening people would simply sit down and stop doing things. They'd just sit somewhere comfortable and slip into deep thought or day dreaming. Slowly people would begin to wither as Sloth fed on the slow death of their society. A foggy haze would surround the land and any who dared enter into this realm would begin to fall under the same sway of comfortable apathy that had consumed the citizens. Expeditionary and bandit camps sit half abandoned as their occupants sit waiting for nothing. Those who dared push too deep or could resist the call would find that the citizens, despite being hollow husks, had never actually died because that in of itself would have taken too much effort. They remained trapped in their rotten bodies sitting in the same place they'd first sat years ago with their minds constantly on the cusp of some great revelation. Any who'd dare interrupt these dreamers are met with a confused hositility and anger. Basically, it'd be a place where the dead were too lazy to die and the natural order of things has simply stopped because it was easier than continuing.

So I'm running a Tomb Of Annihilation campaign at the moment, but I feel like a lot has been taken away from my players (kind of) metagaming. So, they knew that the whole concept of the campaign was to explore a jungle, so I have one revised ranger (which means they can never get lost) and a druid with create water and goodberry. Are there any ways to make the jungle more dangerous other than just encounters? I'm a fairly new DM and I'm not sure in what direction to push it.

[QUOTE=Jacko245;53124953]So I'm running a Tomb Of Annihilation campaign at the moment, but I feel like a lot has been taken away from my players (kind of) metagaming. So, they knew that the whole concept of the campaign was to explore a jungle, so I have one revised ranger (which means they can never get lost) and a druid with create water and goodberry. Are there any ways to make the jungle more dangerous other than just encounters? I'm a fairly new DM and I'm not sure in what direction to push it.[/QUOTE] I don't know how much of the Tomb of Annihilation involves exploring a jungle, but I'd say let the Ranger and Druid be powerful in the jungle. After all, that's pretty much the main strength of their character and it'll make them feel cool. As for challenging them, don't be afraid to not stick to the module 100% and shake it up a little. For example, if they need to find something deep in the jungle, maybe turn it into a crypt inside the jungle. That way, the Ranger and Druid get to be powerful in the jungle, and they don't completely destroy your game the whole time.