D&D V6 - Edition jokes don't really make sense anymore - Games

Got a job in shadowrun to excavate a box of some early 6th world reagents from a building site for some Seattle U professor. He goes a bit creepy with one of them, so we assense it and figure out it's actually a ritual formula for turning a Nymph into a Queen. my stabby mysad just goes nopenopenopenopenope, steals it out of his hands and just goes bolting away from him with my 11 agi run speed, currently running my ass to the nearest harbor.

Today in the mercenary game I joined last week: The crime boss we're buddies with is fucking pissed. Not at us, but at another bigshot who's messing with his turf via proxy, stealing his shit. So we bait one of the trucks that's gonna be stolen. By filling it with a couple hundred gallons of homemade napalm and a few chunks of high explosive to get the party started. After watching the truck get hijacked and providing commentary, and almost getting found out, we proceeded to immolate a dozen or so dudes, including one who looked pretty important. And then we stole his car.

[QUOTE=Crimor;50871139]Got a job in shadowrun to excavate a box of some early 6th world reagents from a building site for some Seattle U professor. He goes a bit creepy with one of them, so we assense it and figure out it's actually a ritual formula for turning a Nymph into a Queen. my stabby mysad just goes nopenopenopenopenope, steals it out of his hands and just goes bolting away from him with my 11 agi run speed, currently running my ass to the nearest harbor.[/QUOTE] Harbour? You need to burn that thing, throwing it in the ocean just makes it hard to find.

[QUOTE=Nerts;50871505]Harbour? You need to burn that thing, throwing it in the ocean just makes it hard to find.[/QUOTE] Plot twist: Burning it is part of the ritual.

[QUOTE=gufu;50871605]Plot twist: Burning it is part of the ritual.[/QUOTE] Throw it in the ocean, then burn it.

if it's written on paper throwing it in the ocean will ruin it anyway

last night's game was up and down and all around. We were playing Mines of Madness pax adventure for some quest or something, and things were going okay. We reached a statue, which after shaking its hand told me to not face some golem without the golem killing hammer we saw a while back, so i went to get it. I got it, but coming back there was a door with a hole in it, and the ranger said i should open it from that side because something bad might happen if i try to go through the hole. At this point, we have pretty much just been opening doors with mage hand, but I was a cleric so I didn't have it. The result of turning the knob? I got turned into 100 electrum pieces because i failed the DC 10 con save. We had to leave the entire dungeon to get me back to normal. Later on, we got to a sacrifice room and I picked up the dagger because I always pick up random crap and shit goes wrong for us. What we didn't know at the time was that we had to take the dagger out to progress through the dungeon to where we needed to go. So, we get stuck in the sacrifice room and have to kill somebody to progress. The others are sort of salty at me for getting them into this conundrum, and we're just looking for an alternate solution to the puzzle cause that's what stuff like this normally entails. Eventually, the paladin was getting sick of it and just sacrificed himself, having his other character he got through magical means to take his stuff and move along. At this point i'm feeling like crap cause i got the paladin killed and the mood was down for the rest of the game (yeah, I know its just a game and all, but we had been going on this game for a while and the paladin was into his character). So we eventually find out that it was all a ruse to prove worthiness, and the paladin was "alright" and dandy. Place collapses, game for the night ends there. Mood just as damp. DM later said that he had hoped that the paladin would kill his magically gained follower he controls instead of himself because with him we have two other characters run by our human players (altogether we we're a party of 8, two of that is player-controlled side character things the DM can't seem to kill without it being totally bullshit). Unfortunately the paladin had more self worth than to let his other guy die. This meant the DM had to bring back the paladin cause he was the entire reason we were there in the first place. I'm just glad I didn't fuck over the party again by picking up a weapon. Again.

[QUOTE=Hey I'm Grump;50883909]last night's game was up and down and all around. We were playing Mines of Madness pax adventure for some quest or something, and things were going okay. We reached a statue, which after shaking its hand told me to not face some golem without the golem killing hammer we saw a while back, so i went to get it. I got it, but coming back there was a door with a hole in it, and the ranger said i should open it from that side because something bad might happen if i try to go through the hole. At this point, we have pretty much just been opening doors with mage hand, but I was a cleric so I didn't have it. The result of turning the knob? I got turned into 100 electrum pieces because i failed the DC 10 con save. We had to leave the entire dungeon to get me back to normal. Later on, we got to a sacrifice room and I picked up the dagger because I always pick up random crap and shit goes wrong for us. What we didn't know at the time was that we had to take the dagger out to progress through the dungeon to where we needed to go. So, we get stuck in the sacrifice room and have to kill somebody to progress. The others are sort of salty at me for getting them into this conundrum, and we're just looking for an alternate solution to the puzzle cause that's what stuff like this normally entails. Eventually, the paladin was getting sick of it and just sacrificed himself, having his other character he got through magical means to take his stuff and move along. At this point i'm feeling like crap cause i got the paladin killed and the mood was down for the rest of the game (yeah, I know its just a game and all, but we had been going on this game for a while and the paladin was into his character). So we eventually find out that it was all a ruse to prove worthiness, and the paladin was "alright" and dandy. Place collapses, game for the night ends there. Mood just as damp. DM later said that he had hoped that the paladin would kill his magically gained follower he controls instead of himself because with him we have two other characters run by our human players (altogether we we're a party of 8, two of that is player-controlled side character things the DM can't seem to kill without it being totally bullshit). Unfortunately the paladin had more self worth than to let his other guy die. This meant the DM had to bring back the paladin cause he was the entire reason we were there in the first place. I'm just glad I didn't fuck over the party again by picking up a weapon. Again.[/QUOTE] Your gaming environment doesn't sound like its very pleasant to be a part of and it sounds like kind of a dick move to make a room that requires a sacrifice without any warning for the simple mistake of picking up an item. And then PCs getting so flustered by this that they'll just up and kill themselves to get it over with sounds pretty shitty. Honestly I'd tell people who were salty at you to fuck off.

[QUOTE=Vengeful Falcon;50883962]Your gaming environment doesn't sound like its very pleasant to be a part of and it sounds like kind of a dick move to make a room that requires a sacrifice without any warning for the simple mistake of picking up an item. And then PCs getting so flustered by this that they'll just up and kill themselves to get it over with sounds pretty shitty. Honestly I'd tell people who were salty at you to fuck off.[/QUOTE] yeah, I constantly get that from people that our gaming group isn't the best, but I'm not the greatest at explaining every little detail. If anyone is great, its our barbarian. Even when things turned south with the crap and sacrifice, he was always trying to be upbeat about things. Also, that reminds me. Earlier in the dungeon we got to a thing where gravity reversed and we got pincushioned by spikes on the ceiling. Later on, after we knew about the trap we tied a rope to the barbarian to try and trigger the trap which has reset to make sure we weren't stabbed again. DM asked a simple question of how much distance could we pull the barbarian from the ceiling for how much fall damage he would take. Cue the barbarian and paladin, both math majors, calculating the speed at which he would fall in regards to how fast we would be able to pull him in with reaction times and all. They continued to work it out even after we had just agreed on a number. Also the whole sacrifice room was a part of the pax dungeon and there was absolutely [I]no[/I] way out of it except by killing one of our party members. It was also sort of obvious something would happen when i pulled out the dagger, but i didn't expect something along those lines.

i created this bullshit [url]http://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/share/rJomZRgF[/url] i shamelessly took original design from stuff

[QUOTE=Haxxer;50885199]i created this bullshit [url]http://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/share/rJomZRgF[/url] i shamelessly took original design from stuff[/QUOTE] All I'm seeing is a blue background.

[QUOTE=Nerts;50885210]All I'm seeing is a blue background.[/QUOTE] [URL="https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/7856270/alchemyshit.pdf"]your internet speed must be shitty then[/URL]

[QUOTE=Haxxer;50885274][URL="https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/7856270/alchemyshit.pdf"]your internet speed must be shitty then[/URL][/QUOTE] Nah, direct link works fine, site just doesn't load properly.

[QUOTE=Haxxer;50885199]i created this bullshit [url]http://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/share/rJomZRgF[/url] i shamelessly took original design from stuff[/QUOTE] Works for me! And wow great job, I spent a long time looking for homebrew herbalism/alchemy rules after realising 5e gives you literally no guidance on them, my players are definitely the type who want their professions to have some meat and not just be for show :) Will have to give this a more in-depth read later.

[QUOTE=Hey I'm Grump;50883909]last night's game was up and down and all around. We were playing Mines of Madness pax adventure for some quest or something, and things were going okay. We reached a statue, which after shaking its hand told me to not face some golem without the golem killing hammer we saw a while back, so i went to get it. I got it, but coming back there was a door with a hole in it, and the ranger said i should open it from that side because something bad might happen if i try to go through the hole. At this point, we have pretty much just been opening doors with mage hand, but I was a cleric so I didn't have it. The result of turning the knob? I got turned into 100 electrum pieces because i failed the DC 10 con save. We had to leave the entire dungeon to get me back to normal. Later on, we got to a sacrifice room and I picked up the dagger because I always pick up random crap and shit goes wrong for us. What we didn't know at the time was that we had to take the dagger out to progress through the dungeon to where we needed to go. So, we get stuck in the sacrifice room and have to kill somebody to progress. The others are sort of salty at me for getting them into this conundrum, and we're just looking for an alternate solution to the puzzle cause that's what stuff like this normally entails. Eventually, the paladin was getting sick of it and just sacrificed himself, having his other character he got through magical means to take his stuff and move along. At this point i'm feeling like crap cause i got the paladin killed and the mood was down for the rest of the game (yeah, I know its just a game and all, but we had been going on this game for a while and the paladin was into his character). So we eventually find out that it was all a ruse to prove worthiness, and the paladin was "alright" and dandy. Place collapses, game for the night ends there. Mood just as damp. DM later said that he had hoped that the paladin would kill his magically gained follower he controls instead of himself because with him we have two other characters run by our human players (altogether we we're a party of 8, two of that is player-controlled side character things the DM can't seem to kill without it being totally bullshit). Unfortunately the paladin had more self worth than to let his other guy die. This meant the DM had to bring back the paladin cause he was the entire reason we were there in the first place. I'm just glad I didn't fuck over the party again by picking up a weapon. Again.[/QUOTE] You are in the worst gaming group in the whole world. Your GMs a dick, the players are always mad at you, and youre projecting the blame on YOURSELF. Dude... Just leave. This shit is torture to read, i can only imagine how shitty it is to be there.

Yeah, whenever I talk about my Saturday D&D group, people tend to wonder why I stick with it. I understand why, but its probably cause I talk about the shittier points of the game cause they're the ones that I usually remember the best. Admittedly, thinking right now I can't think up any really good moments, but I know they're in existence. Also, a problem with leaving i suppose is that the group is composed of people I know well (maybe not like 100% every single one *cough cough paladin cough*) and the only ones I can find that will actually play D&D in my area. Finding new people to play with is hard and i'm a real nervous guy when it comes to new people. sigh. I mean a lot of what people have been saying about my games are true in their points. We're probably not the absolute greatest group in existence. Being the youngest and surrounded by older guys def. isn't the greatest group for me. But i'm not sure what to do. My fellow players are still my friends, its just that i suppose i'm out of my element when it comes to the amount of "silliness" in the game. Finding an online game that works with my schedule, lasts for more than a single game, and also has people that I can fully enjoy the game with is like finding a radio transmitter in a fully grown hay field. I dunno, any suggestions?

So I'm considering taking Magic Initiate next level for my Fighter. I figured a little ranged magic might help because I often find I spend my initial round of combat making my way towards enemies then passing or holding my action. I've never played caster classes except for a one off Bard. I was considering taking Cleric spells because it makes the most thematic sense. My choices so far are: Cantrips: Sacred Flame Thautamurgy/Spare the Dying. Spell: Guiding Bolt. Our party has a Paladin, Druid, and Ranger who can all heal so taking Cure Wounds or Healing World felt less useful. Spare the Dying was interesting because I felt it had the potential to be very strong despite being super situational. I'm on the fence about it. Any suggestions/sleepers I might be missing from other classes?

Spare the dying has let me capture otherwise dead baddies for interrogation, and helps with hostages as well. And then you can help any buddies out too.

[QUOTE=Hey I'm Grump;50887462]Yeah, whenever I talk about my Saturday D&D group, people tend to wonder why I stick with it. I understand why, but its probably cause I talk about the shittier points of the game cause they're the ones that I usually remember the best. Admittedly, thinking right now I can't think up any really good moments, but I know they're in existence. Also, a problem with leaving i suppose is that the group is composed of people I know well (maybe not like 100% every single one *cough cough paladin cough*) and the only ones I can find that will actually play D&D in my area. Finding new people to play with is hard and i'm a real nervous guy when it comes to new people. sigh. I mean a lot of what people have been saying about my games are true in their points. We're probably not the absolute greatest group in existence. Being the youngest and surrounded by older guys def. isn't the greatest group for me. But i'm not sure what to do. My fellow players are still my friends, its just that i suppose i'm out of my element when it comes to the amount of "silliness" in the game. Finding an online game that works with my schedule, lasts for more than a single game, and also has people that I can fully enjoy the game with is like finding a radio transmitter in a fully grown hay field. I dunno, any suggestions?[/QUOTE] Please man. There's a word for what you're doing right now. Rationalizing. I can attest that nobody else here has to deal with the shitty things in your game on a daily basis. Your GM is straight up a psychopath to put you into that room, and force you to go with it, and then not mediate when blame is shifted to you. You don't need to play D&D that badly. If they're dicks. Don't play with them. Hang out with any of the other friends you have, and if you dont, try looking online for a local group.

[QUOTE=Funktastic Dog;50888204]Please man. There's a word for what you're doing right now. Rationalizing. I can attest that nobody else here has to deal with the shitty things in your game on a daily basis. Your GM is straight up a psychopath to put you into that room, and force you to go with it, and then not mediate when blame is shifted to you. You don't need to play D&D that badly. If they're dicks. Don't play with them. Hang out with any of the other friends you have, and if you dont, try looking online for a local group.[/QUOTE] If he's a Game Grumps fan, he's a world-class rationaliser.

[QUOTE=BarnacleDrive;50885789]Works for me! And wow great job, I spent a long time looking for homebrew herbalism/alchemy rules after realising 5e gives you literally no guidance on them, my players are definitely the type who want their professions to have some meat and not just be for show :) Will have to give this a more in-depth read later.[/QUOTE] ty pm me if there's anything you'd like changed

[QUOTE=Hey I'm Grump;50887462]Yeah, whenever I talk about my Saturday D&D group, people tend to wonder why I stick with it. I understand why, but its probably cause I talk about the shittier points of the game cause they're the ones that I usually remember the best. Admittedly, thinking right now I can't think up any really good moments, but I know they're in existence. Also, a problem with leaving i suppose is that the group is composed of people I know well (maybe not like 100% every single one *cough cough paladin cough*) and the only ones I can find that will actually play D&D in my area. Finding new people to play with is hard and i'm a real nervous guy when it comes to new people. sigh. I mean a lot of what people have been saying about my games are true in their points. We're probably not the absolute greatest group in existence. Being the youngest and surrounded by older guys def. isn't the greatest group for me. But i'm not sure what to do. My fellow players are still my friends, its just that i suppose i'm out of my element when it comes to the amount of "silliness" in the game. Finding an online game that works with my schedule, lasts for more than a single game, and also has people that I can fully enjoy the game with is like finding a radio transmitter in a fully grown hay field. I dunno, any suggestions?[/QUOTE] i've said this before twice: quit this shitty group.

Grump has battered player syndrome, he wants to forgive his group because he doesn't think he can get anything better but doesn't want to be alone.

[QUOTE=Haxxer;50885199]i created this bullshit [url]http://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/share/rJomZRgF[/url] i shamelessly took original design from stuff[/QUOTE] I have to tell you, my friend who is a real avid DM and player loves the shit out of this, so thank you!

[QUOTE=Nerts;50889312]Grump has battered player syndrome, he wants to forgive his group because he doesn't think he can get anything better but doesn't want to be alone.[/QUOTE] ugh, i hate it when people start diagnosing my problems. I hate it more when it's too spot on for me to accept.

I'd invite you to one of the games I run, except that group is dysfunctional as hell, too.

Today, in Elly's Vampire game: [quote]Ragnborg: "He said you kidnapped the prince. ...Didn't you?" Elizabeth: "We haven't seen the prince for a week or so." Jack: No. We haven't been anywhere near him for a while. Franklin: "Jack, you haven't kidnapped the prince while we weren't looking did you?" Jack: Fuck off.[/quote]

dammit Rats I guess I'll just post another quote then [quote]Ragnborg Odinson: "Oh, so caitiffs are like vampire midgets then?"[/quote]

highlights from today's shadowrun session group 1 consisting of the rigger and a mage who thinks he's an american GI from WWII who's been transported in time, charging into the outer complex of a nuclear power plant with the GI strapped to the roof with medical gauze, dukes of hazzard style. group 2 consisting of team snipers making kill shots at 300m with -3 penalties and gork, our resident stealthy ork, who apparently is so sneaky that people don't realise when a 2.1m ork is standing behind them. said ork threw a 70kg filing cabinet down a hallway and knocked out 3 guards with it before smacking the shit out of the last with a 2x4 let's just say it was a hell of a session

Our SR game later should be fun, we get to do a captive exchange, I've never ever had one of these go well in a game ever so let's see what happens. [editline]16th August 2016[/editline] Except a run I GMed where the team had to abduct a cockatoo, but I think that went well mostly because they were handing off to Ares corporate agents that had a mage, decker and sniper watching over the deal.