D&D V6 - Edition jokes don't really make sense anymore - Games

i'd like to give the recent 40k story of how the sentry tried to sneak past four guards with a modifier of -60, in full belief that his +30 investment would be the best thing to do. [IMG]https://i.gyazo.com/a6a2677535a855919316937eb29c1905.png[/IMG] Garrok Fantin, after opening the grate above and overhearing a conversation between two heretics, has decided to follow them while they walk to the commencing ritual. Epsilon-Theta keeps up the rear while Quelaan Vail and Kristofer Brieger watch Garrok's mishappenings. [IMG]https://i.gyazo.com/958548538e621f4af79c1c80718cb6be.png[/IMG] [IMG]https://i.gyazo.com/07a88349b980d4178b6fbec5f5b85670.png[/IMG] [IMG]https://i.gyazo.com/18f9a5a506f857265509f84e18ca6d91.png[/IMG] Keep in mind this is a guy with a multi-laser and invested most of his stuff explicitly towards Stealth while ignoring his duty as a Sentry. [IMG]https://i.gyazo.com/e38e0dadacc915ec5e2252b32641f325.png[/IMG] [IMG]https://i.gyazo.com/cab8ee5428a22c63058e27a3fccbdeb9.png[/IMG] [IMG]https://i.gyazo.com/5b28c21dd7217bc4da7a71b889a57472.png[/IMG] [IMG]https://i.gyazo.com/23455855be93d3c708e0cfeb42af76b8.png[/IMG] I legitimately expected them to just continue under the vents. It was like a beeline to the ritual and they decided to go up and over and start fucking with security. [IMG]https://i.gyazo.com/5f758db04bb33fa8c8134a645b4afb3c.png[/IMG] And then Garrok got horrifically decimated by a fire bomb grenade to the face and when they dragged him out he just said to have himself killed so he could be a Psyker. I didn't know how to keep him involved, so I just had him be the object of sacrifice, fuck it. As soon as he was shown to the players as an object of the sacrifice, he immediately decided to do this. [IMG]https://i.gyazo.com/95794033ea0709344e9f1b83d5d4b37d.png[/IMG] At this point I told him to stop being an Old Man Henderson. Epsilon got into a fit with him and they started fighting OOCly before the player behind Nicolis and Garrok just jumped ship.

Yesterday's 3.5 session went pretty good. Upon being transported to a plane where no one can take damage and finding all of the gods are sitting at an incredibly long table discussing how to revert a particularly powerful apocalyptic event that happened a couple centuries ago, the first thing the warforged binder does is find Tiamat and a god of elves who I forget the name of right now and insult them to their faces. He was thrown the length of this table by the second one (it was a particularly good insult) and had a several minute run back to the party. Also I did a classic prank on the party. So, in the dungeon before the above happened they were investigating a wizard's tower where a lot of planar fuckery was going on, which they eventually traced to an exploded well of many worlds and a large cracked orb which has torn sections of other planes and transplanted them to sections of the dungeon whenever the orb cracked further. They also found a foot-thick book detailing the research that went into making this device, as well as a diary. They started reading the diary once they were sent back to the material plane by the gods and safe in their wagon. It had mostly typical diary entries and embarrassing secrets, as well as letting the party know the person who caused this calamity was in league with a god who together wanted to eliminate all other magic users and gods (they mostly got what they wanted, the major magic cities are in a different plane now, and all of the other gods are now forced to spend most of their energies preventing them from disintegrating further or else they disappear too), and the classic entry of "oh shit, maybe I didn't set up this ritual perfectly, the orb ain't looking too good now, better leave this all this behind before this potentially throws the surrounding area into the void". But those entries aren't relevant to this prank. what's important is the final entry. "Dear diary, today I prepared explosive runes."

Playing my first TTRPG, and it's a been a blast so far (we're playing Dark Heresy 2ED). There's three of us (A Sororitas Assassin, me playing a Highborn Outcast Rogue Psyker and my friend playing a Feral Worlder Adeptus Mechanicus Warrior) and we've been hired to find some cargo on a ship. Highlight so far was me managing to temporarily shut down two turret servitors using telepathy and deception, only for the Warrior to stand up out of cover, take aim and fire a single shot with his handcannon and miss, for which he was rewarded by being set on fire by the one of servitors (though managed to avoid being hurt. I have rapidly started to fear the words "Roll for perception", especially as the assassin (who was standing watch as we investigated a room, as she has the highest) managed to botch one, which ended up with me being hit by a grenade.

[QUOTE=Chayste;51411634]i'd like to give the recent 40k story of how the sentry tried to sneak past four guards with a modifier of -60, in full belief that his +30 investment would be the best thing to do. Garrok Fantin, after opening the grate above and overhearing a conversation between two heretics, has decided to follow them while they walk to the commencing ritual. Epsilon-Theta keeps up the rear while Quelaan Vail and Kristofer Brieger watch Garrok's mishappenings. Keep in mind this is a guy with a multi-laser and invested most of his stuff explicitly towards Stealth while ignoring his duty as a Sentry. I legitimately expected them to just continue under the vents. It was like a beeline to the ritual and they decided to go up and over and start fucking with security. And then Garrok got horrifically decimated by a fire bomb grenade to the face and when they dragged him out he just said to have himself killed so he could be a Psyker. I didn't know how to keep him involved, so I just had him be the object of sacrifice, fuck it. As soon as he was shown to the players as an object of the sacrifice, he immediately decided to do this. At this point I told him to stop being an Old Man Henderson. Epsilon got into a fit with him and they started fighting OOCly before the player behind Nicolis and Garrok just jumped ship.[/QUOTE] Pretty much everyone is in the wrong here. That just seems like such an unneccessrily toxic group, with almost no roleplay even going on.

[QUOTE=plunger435;51412739]That just seems like such an unneccessrily toxic group, with almost no roleplay even going on.[/QUOTE] They usually talk In Character, but apparently Garrok's antics prompted them to go into OOC. Epsilon was particularly bothered by Garrok player's logic at times. I think I might need to say more "do it ic and see what happens" rather than explaining oocly.

Today in Shadowrun, I fucking finally get that deltaware wired reflexes I've been saving up for since the start, now I'm poor all over again but have a 1.5 essence gap I can fill with new toys. [editline]23rd November 2016[/editline] First up, a new skull and face, with ground penetrating radar.

[QUOTE=Nerts;51414322]Today in Shadowrun, I fucking finally get that deltaware wired reflexes I've been saving up for since the start, now I'm poor all over again but have a 1.5 essence gap I can fill with new toys. [editline]23rd November 2016[/editline] First up, a new skull and [B]face, with ground penetrating radar.[/B][/QUOTE] "Nobody will ever suspect the man making strange beeps with his face pressed right up against the door was doing anything untoward!"

[QUOTE=thisguy123;51418001]"Nobody will ever suspect the man making strange beeps with his face pressed right up against the door was doing anything untoward!"[/QUOTE] Deckers can pick it up, but otherwise, it's radar, it's pretty stealthy. And being able to see through walls for 20m around you is pretty kickass when you use heavy weapons that have no issues being able to go through interior walls.

So here is a question... In Volo's monster guide (5e), Lizardfolk have the bite ability (not looking at hungry jaws). Does it count as an unarmed attack or is it a weapon (is "natural weapon" just flavor text)?

It's unarmed. Obviously.

[QUOTE=Chronische;51419319]It's unarmed. Obviously.[/QUOTE] That's what I was reading it as too. One of my friends was suggesting that "Your fanged maw is a natural weapon, which you can used to make unarmed strikes." Implied that you could choose to replace unarmed attacks with your fanged maw and have it count as a weapon.

I want to make a stupidly tanky Kobold knight-like character in 5e, using the Volo's Guide race characteristics (sacrificing damage is fine). Any pointers on how could I achieve that? It'll be my 4th character ever.

question. DnD says some stuff about how your game doesn't have to be all grand quests and the like. You could engage in politics, fight in normal wars, and go for the more mundane things. Is there stuff for conjuring monsters and maintaining a dungeon?

[QUOTE=Ripper Roo;51421645]I want to make a stupidly tanky Kobold knight-like character in 5e, using the Volo's Guide race characteristics (sacrificing damage is fine). Any pointers on how could I achieve that? It'll be my 4th character ever.[/QUOTE] kobold battlemaster fighter with heavy armor and a shield probably, with the one fighting style that increases AC. You would want as high con as possible and the rest is whatever you want.

[QUOTE=Fremontsmith;51421990]kobold battlemaster fighter with heavy armor and a shield probably, with the one fighting style that increases AC. You would want as high con as possible and the rest is whatever you want.[/QUOTE] good luck getting the strength needed for plate at -2 strength lol. You can tank without going str, look up rogues (for the dodgy abilities), barbarians (whilst missing a few features, they aren't entirely ineffective if you ditch strength), and obviously mix in some fighter. Medium armor master + shield + defense fighting style would work well, especially if you have a rogue's uncanny dodge or a barbarian's rage to work with. Infact thanks to pack tactics, a barbarian or rogue would work especially well; constant advantage == more crits, either more dice or a higher chance to crit sneak attack.

Any GM fucking STUPID enough to let you be a kobold and thus have pack tactics and that bullshit cringe ability deserves all the suffering they get. It's ridiculous, those are clearly unfinished, unbalanced races, and there's a good reason they are split from the actual finished ones.

[QUOTE=Chronische;51422223]Any GM fucking STUPID enough to let you be a kobold and thus have pack tactics and that bullshit cringe ability deserves all the suffering they get. It's ridiculous, those are clearly unfinished, unbalanced races, and there's a good reason they are split from the actual finished ones.[/QUOTE] It only works when you aren't in direct sunlight, otherwise a kobold player has disadvantage unless someone is near their target. I'm thinking a good GM could likely balance that out, especially considering the restrictions on small characters (namely they can't be min-maxed str users nor ranged users)

[QUOTE=Chronische;51422223]Any GM fucking STUPID enough to let you be a kobold and thus have pack tactics and that bullshit cringe ability deserves all the suffering they get. It's ridiculous, those are clearly unfinished, unbalanced races, and there's a good reason they are split from the actual finished ones.[/QUOTE] I wouldn't let my players play any of the Monstrous Races in Volo's except maybe Goblin and Hobgoblin. What I do like about them is the NPC capabilities.

the downside to being a kobold is that you're a pathetic angry mess and nobody likes you

[QUOTE=ntzu;51422057]good luck getting the strength needed for plate at -2 strength lol. You can tank without going str, look up rogues (for the dodgy abilities), barbarians (whilst missing a few features, they aren't entirely ineffective if you ditch strength), and obviously mix in some fighter. Medium armor master + shield + defense fighting style would work well, especially if you have a rogue's uncanny dodge or a barbarian's rage to work with. Infact thanks to pack tactics, a barbarian or rogue would work especially well; constant advantage == more crits, either more dice or a higher chance to crit sneak attack.[/QUOTE] He just said he wanted to be tanky and knight like. Neither barbarian nor rogue are knightly in the slightest otherwise i woulda mentioned them as an alternative, and even under the strength requirement all it does is reduce movespeed by 10ft. Though i did forget that kobolds reduced strength so if movespeed was a thing you cared about it would have to be chainmail until at least level 4

monstrous races are a bad idea in 5e

[QUOTE=Mellowbloom;51422316]the downside to being a kobold is that you're a pathetic angry mess and nobody likes you[/QUOTE] Exactly, a perfect tank! I wanna be an obnoxious little shit who looks like a tin can and just begs to be punched first. If only Small creatures got launched with powerful strikes, it'd be amazing.

[QUOTE=Chronische;51422223]Any GM fucking STUPID enough to let you be a kobold and thus have pack tactics and that bullshit cringe ability deserves all the suffering they get. It's ridiculous, those are clearly unfinished, unbalanced races, and there's a good reason they are split from the actual finished ones.[/QUOTE] With the exception of a couple of them, I don't really see it. There's also the non-combat time to be factored in as well.

[QUOTE=Ogopogo;51422994]With the exception of a couple of them, I don't really see it. There's also the non-combat time to be factored in as well.[/QUOTE] In non-combat times you have to deal with the monstrous races being universally hated and not being able to realistically go into any towns. If not then your entire campaign lore needs a shakeup to allow that.

[QUOTE=plunger435;51423022]In non-combat times you have to deal with the monstrous races being universally hated and not being able to realistically go into any towns. If not then your entire campaign lore needs a shakeup to allow that.[/QUOTE] The introduction to the monstrous race section does a good job covering it in that respect, and yeah, plenty of campaigns would be ill fitting for monstrous races (it's one of the points it covers). But strictly in a power sense, I don't really see most of the monstrous races being an issue.

[QUOTE=Ogopogo;51423212]The introduction to the monstrous race section does a good job covering it in that respect, and yeah, plenty of campaigns would be ill fitting for monstrous races (it's one of the points it covers). But strictly in a power sense, I don't really see most of the monstrous races being an issue.[/QUOTE] Considering alt human is basically the best race ever in 5e, I'm never really worried about my players picking from the other available ones. Personally though my line is drawn on RP capabilities, if they can't do a lot of things with the party in most settings it's a problem for the group, and if they can fly, no flying races never ever.

They are signifigantly more powerful than any other player race. Pack tactics is utterly broken on humans, and the cringe power is also ridiculous. "Oh but sunlight!" yeah, but being in melee or even just hanging back to shoot dudes your buddies are engaging neutralizes that entirely. Bear in mind sunlight sensitivity is for DIRECT sunlight, so being in shade is even enough to make it go away entirely. Then there's goblins who get 2/3 of the level 2 rogue ability just innately, yuan ti who get damage IMMUNITY, and so on. They are unbalanced as hell, and shouldn't be used at all. You might as well take trash off dandwiki at that point (do not do this by the way). That's not even mentioning the RP shit, which is already laughable since dragonborn and drow are core races (and actually balanced unlike the monstrous races piles of shit). If you don't hit drow/dragonborn with tons of RP penalties already, what's a goblin? If you do, then goblins are still strictly better mechanics wise. Overall, you should NEVER allow them as they are presented in Volos. They need some major work.

or you could just do it and manage because not everyone is a turbo powergamer who sits there analysing every race to optimise combat

If one player out of the group feels like they are being shit on because your character makes them obsolete, in and/or out of combat, you are dragging the party down. That's why balance IS important, and why 3e was so awful. Sure you could do it, and everyone could have a good time. Or you could ruin it for another person because you made an OP dude. Better to remove the OP shit from the options unless it's a group you know well.

[QUOTE=Chronische;51423425]If one player out of the group feels like they are being shit on because your character makes them obsolete, in and/or out of combat, you are dragging the party down. That's why balance IS important, and why 3e was so awful. Sure you could do it, and everyone could have a good time. Or you could ruin it for another person because you made an OP dude. Better to remove the OP shit from the options unless it's a group you know well.[/QUOTE] if one player feels they're being left out maybe they should discuss that with the group? did I accidentally step into an alternate dimension where people are incapable of communicating with each other about their characters and what they want out of a game you don't need to know a group well to just discuss things, and if they're the type of person to not give a shit about the other players maybe don't play with them I appreciate it can be difficult to find good people to play with sometimes, but that doesn't mean lowering your standards to play with problem people