D&D V6 - Edition jokes don't really make sense anymore - Games

[QUOTE=Funktastic Dog;51672808]In case anyone is wondering what this is, it's from the russian RPG VTNL. The worst RPG in history. Yes, worse than FATAL. It's so strict that there are two pages on the act of [I]literally rolling the dice[/I]. You [I]have[/I] to use this dicefield or your rolls are invalid. Here's a snippit of what you can expect from this game: In case you're wondering where that's from, it's from the introduction. This is his pitch for the game. It only get's worse from here.[/QUOTE] Is the creator of VTNL genuinely autistic? May explain it.

It's a. RPG written by the spergiest control freak ever, and only encompasses hex crawling but it sucks even at that since hexes already visited will be totally different if you visit again. It's a travesty and has no business existing.

Today my players encountered a lanky and cloaked merchant along the road. Despite being offput he seemingly immediately offered up a menagerie of odd items for barter and buy. Here's some noteworthy stuff: 1. The Barbarian purchased a dull grey potion described as making you 'better at things' (provides proficiency with carpenters tools for one day) and a key that fits into any lock (but cannot open them). 2. The other Barbarian purchased a gorgeous red potion in a dragon styled vial described as imbuing you with 'dragon abilities'. It lets you speak Draconic for one Hour, and nothing else. The players are positive they got a potion of Dragons Breath at a steal. 3. The Ranger bought set of nasty looking dice, a small bag of wooden teeth, and a Quiver than can turn into a +1 sword. 4. The Warlock bought a tiny pet mimic in the shape of a music box, which has taken a liking to her but hates her familliar. 5. The Monk bought a carved statue of a bear. It's a really nice statue. I had this idea that the Merchant was a Fey Pact Warlock, whose Patron granted him power in exchange for having to go from each of the planes selling this big bag of weird items on the threat of something terrible happening to him. He's really disheveled and strange, but fun to play at the table.

[QUOTE=Archimedes;51673087]Today my players encountered a lanky and cloaked merchant along the road. Despite being offput he seemingly immediately offered up a menagerie of odd items for barter and buy. Here's some noteworthy stuff: 1. The Barbarian purchased a dull grey potion described as making you 'better at things' (provides proficiency with carpenters tools for one day) and a key that fits into any lock (but cannot open them). 2. The other Barbarian purchased a gorgeous red potion in a dragon styled vial described as imbuing you with 'dragon abilities'. It lets you speak Draconic for one Hour, and nothing else. The players are positive they got a potion of Dragons Breath at a steal. 3. The Ranger bought set of nasty looking dice, a small bag of wooden teeth, and a Quiver than can turn into a +1 sword. 4. The Warlock bought a tiny pet mimic in the shape of a music box, which has taken a liking to her but hates her familliar. 5. The Monk bought a carved statue of a bear. It's a really nice statue. I had this idea that the Merchant was a Fey Pact Warlock, whose Patron granted him power in exchange for having to go from each of the planes selling this big bag of weird items on the threat of something terrible happening to him. He's really disheveled and strange, but fun to play at the table.[/QUOTE] [media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6Fi3zJ-45Y[/media]

[QUOTE=Funktastic Dog;51672808]IIn case you're wondering where that's from, it's from the introduction. This is his pitch for the game. It only get's worse from here.[/QUOTE] I need this book in my life, even if it's in Russian (extra points, in fact, if it's in Russian).

My players decided to not investigate the village's local giant centipede problem as they were busy helping a pretty noblewoman, and the creatures managed to wrangle the entire village while they were away into their lair, laying eggs in the hapless villages Alien-style. The players discovered the centipedes' weakness (their blood is quite flammable) and burned the hive out completely. Still meant that like, 400 villagers are dead. But hey, they helped the Baron's daughter escape an arranged marriage! Go team! [sp]New players are so much fun.[/sp]

Today in D&D 5E, my character wrote an eviction notice and served it to a zombie to get him to leave the castle I drew from last session's Deck of Many Things. He didn't take it well. He died again.

The troll street sam in my SR game last night tanked a 17P -4AP sniper rifle shot and a 19 -6AP assault cannon shot without taking any damage at all. They rolled 18 and 22 successes with a 33 dicepool before AP

Playing my first DnD 5e Volo's Guide race today, and it's the Lizardfolk. He's a Fighter, high Dex and Con, and Chaotic Neutral. Is there any good places/articles/books to read up on Lizardfolk so I can get a good idea of how to roleplay it? The Volo's guide entry isn't very helpful. So far the gist is they are hungry as fuck, tribal, and people hate/dislike/ignore them.

As players, not as your characters... How would you feel about finding out that a NPC you travelled with for the longest time ends up being the BBEG? Someone who has been nice to the party, shown no [U]openly[/U] evil intent but has many hidden skills and spells they haven't reviled. If they where to disappear (presumed dead) and came back later as said BBEG.. what would you think about that?

[QUOTE=_Maverick_;51675844]As players, not as your characters... How would you feel about finding out that a NPC you travelled with for the longest time ends up being the BBEG? Someone who has been nice to the party, shown no [U]openly[/U] evil intent but has many hidden skills and spells they haven't reviled. If they where to disappear (presumed dead) and came back later as said BBEG.. what would you think about that?[/QUOTE] It's a cliche, but done well, can have a huge impact. To make it really twist the knife though, it's best if it's someone the players actually really trust and wouldn't expect betrayal from; Triple XP if you make them go on a quest to save their beloved comrade only to reveal later on he was screwing them over from the start.

Suggestions for an Anti-Party for a Barb, Barb, Warlock, Ranger/Fighter, and Monk group? My players are current tracking their Rangers cousin who stole a gem from their crime family boss, and I had the idea that since the gem has evil powers (my players don't know this) the Cousin would slowly assemble his own team of adventurers who were on an equally noble quest to destroy it. I have this idea for a confrontation where the Cousins party will adamantly defend him to the death, and possibly ignore the players if they try to claim to be good. One of the party members in the Cousins group was going to be this Bandit they spared in session 1 who'd turned hero and became a Gunslinger. The Ranger tried to shoot him after he'd surrendered and I loved the idea that when it came time to try to reason with them the former Bandit would cite this as an example of their untrustworhy nature (my players are all actually all very good and heroic, but look super evil due to their character appearances and races). [QUOTE=Dragoshi1;51675688]Playing my first DnD 5e Volo's Guide race today, and it's the Lizardfolk. He's a Fighter, high Dex and Con, and Chaotic Neutral. Is there any good places/articles/books to read up on Lizardfolk so I can get a good idea of how to roleplay it? The Volo's guide entry isn't very helpful. So far the gist is they are hungry as fuck, tribal, and people hate/dislike/ignore them.[/QUOTE] I'd say you could search up on various Wikis to get a general sense of their racial and tribal identity. Important aspect to remember is that they think in a very clinical manner and are detatched emotionally. It's not a cultural thing, they're just like that. Maybe start by being sort of macabre by harvesting meat from dead enemies (even sentients) and start to stop once your party shows disdain or disgust. Metaphors are a completely foreign concept so take everything literally. Establish some basic tribal identity, and then slowly grow to understand civilized customs and respect them in so far that it'll stop you from getting in trouble. Use replacement words for items that would not be present in your tribes vocabulary (House - Rock Tent, Sword - Sharpclub, Magic User - Shaman, Cart - Walking Box). [QUOTE=_Maverick_;51675844]As players, not as your characters... How would you feel about finding out that a NPC you travelled with for the longest time ends up being the BBEG? Someone who has been nice to the party, shown no [U]openly[/U] evil intent but has many hidden skills and spells they haven't reviled. If they where to disappear (presumed dead) and came back later as said BBEG.. what would you think about that?[/QUOTE] Any twist involving a beloved NPC will feel pretty prominent and this twist works best so long as you've given them inklings that this NPC has a darker side or some kind of personal goals separate from the party. If they've traveled together for a long time I'd recommend that the NPC has potentially become attached to them. Maybe when the reveal happens they offer the chance for the party to join them in their schemes because they genuinely see them as friends. This would break my heart as a player and potentially make me question some of my previous actions if this now evil NPC sees us as being morally similar. Maybe the parties rejection will hurt the villian deeply, and every encounter is a painful reminder to the players. Maybe the party will attempt to convert their friend back to good. Hell, maybe they'll say yes to the offer.

[QUOTE=_Maverick_;51675844]As players, not as your characters... How would you feel about finding out that a NPC you travelled with for the longest time ends up being the BBEG? Someone who has been nice to the party, shown no [U]openly[/U] evil intent but has many hidden skills and spells they haven't reviled. If they where to disappear (presumed dead) and came back later as said BBEG.. what would you think about that?[/QUOTE] It's fine on occasion and when done with finesse. My experience is that too many people try it without knowing how to give it a proper build. Either they give it away too easily or they give absolutely no clue whatsoever and it leaves players feeling betrayed by the GM because they never had any chance to figure it out. I see the latter happen a lot with GM's that want their BBEG to think "like a real person" and not a fantasy villain (thus gives no clues whatsoever to their real identity). It's a fine line that too many end up crossing over because they're inexperienced with the finer points of writing.

[QUOTE=_Maverick_;51675844]As players, not as your characters... How would you feel about finding out that a NPC you travelled with for the longest time ends up being the BBEG? Someone who has been nice to the party, shown no [U]openly[/U] evil intent but has many hidden skills and spells they haven't reviled. If they where to disappear (presumed dead) and came back later as said BBEG.. what would you think about that?[/QUOTE] What's betteris to have someone OBVIOUSLY evil/immoral, and have them be incredibly beneficial to the party, so they have to help out each other. And then make them betray the party. For example, Baron Rutgar is the draconian, machiavellian ruler of a city. The party needs the scepter in his control to stop an evil wizard. He agrees, on the pretense that they must help put away a group of criminals he's been searching for. After the party agrees and does it, he hands them the scepter. Little known to the party however, the Baron has tracked the party down to the lair, and once they stop the wizard, he bursts in, and takes all the dastardly artifacts in the room for himself! Basically, it makes it so the party is to blame for this betrayal, (They should have known better than to trust that evil Baron!), rather than them just not figuring out something you were intentionally hiding from them.

On the flip side that can leave players angry because if the only way to get the magical maguffin they need for your plot is to play along into an obviously bad plan, they'll feel like they've got no choice despite seeing the inevitable outcome from a mile and a half away. In my own campaign I had a dragon who was working somewhat indirectly through the party; Disguised as a gnome wizard in search of magical materials for research, he hired the party as his gophers. They went out, and at great risk to themselves, gathered the numerous materials required by this dragon for his ritual. The ritual to transcend the mortal coil and become a mythic Ravener. Needless to say, they were highly surprised when it was later revealed their gnomish benefactor, who was willing to pay them faaar too much money for materials of questionable and dubious nature, was actually the BBEG all along.

[QUOTE=_Maverick_;51675844]As players, not as your characters... How would you feel about finding out that a NPC you travelled with for the longest time ends up being the BBEG? Someone who has been nice to the party, shown no [U]openly[/U] evil intent but has many hidden skills and spells they haven't reviled. If they where to disappear (presumed dead) and came back later as said BBEG.. what would you think about that?[/QUOTE] I would at least want them to display something that, maybe not being overt at the time, I could look back on and go "oh yeah, that makes sense".

So I'm designing an optional puzzle for my players to encounter and I know what I want the solution to involve, but as I am not a terribly clever man, I would like some help. The puzzle is basically the players are in a room with a few obvious levers, cranks, and buttons. These don't do anything. There are also statues, murals, and odd objects. These are the real mechanisms (and some dummy ones or just genuine art). What I need is 3 metaphors to describe an individual real mechanism to be interacted with (like say, one metaphor solution I already have is to shake a statue of a warforged's hand. It's a lever to be pulled.). Oh, and these metaphors need to contain the letter a, b, or c somewhere. If you want, you can also come up with what object it's supposed to represent and I'll try and make a good description for it, or I'll just come up with my own interpretation of the metaphors and work from there.

[QUOTE=Dragoshi1;51675688]Playing my first DnD 5e Volo's Guide race today, and it's the Lizardfolk. He's a Fighter, high Dex and Con, and Chaotic Neutral. Is there any good places/articles/books to read up on Lizardfolk so I can get a good idea of how to roleplay it? The Volo's guide entry isn't very helpful. So far the gist is they are hungry as fuck, tribal, and people hate/dislike/ignore them.[/QUOTE] The whole "eating people" isn't what defines them, but is more of an indication what about their attitudes. They are far more practical then they are emotional. Tending to be more tribal is again more due to immediate survival as opposed to planning for the future, in addition to things like art being little more than paint on canvas/an ordinary pot. Survival without sentiment. Of course, one living away from the swamps of their homeland might be more inclined to start branching out a bit. Given the brief explanation in the book, I don't think anyone will mind if you interpret things a little differently, as long as you do. I have half a mind to theme a lizardfolk barbarian after drax the destroyer.

[QUOTE=helpiminabox;51677800]So I'm designing an optional puzzle for my players to encounter and I know what I want the solution to involve, but as I am not a terribly clever man, I would like some help. The puzzle is basically the players are in a room with a few obvious levers, cranks, and buttons. These don't do anything. There are also statues, murals, and odd objects. These are the real mechanisms (and some dummy ones or just genuine art). What I need is 3 metaphors to describe an individual real mechanism to be interacted with (like say, one metaphor solution I already have is to shake a statue of a warforged's hand. It's a lever to be pulled.). Oh, and these metaphors need to contain the letter a, b, or c somewhere. If you want, you can also come up with what object it's supposed to represent and I'll try and make a good description for it, or I'll just come up with my own interpretation of the metaphors and work from there.[/QUOTE] How about this: The first mechanism is a very clearly crooked painting of an Elephant. Straightening it will trigger the first mechanism A hint towards it is "Address the issue in the room left unchecked." (Eleph[B]a[/B]nt in the Room). The second mechanism is a chest high marble pillar that has two birds engraved on it that can be pushed into the floor slightly, but will always push back up. The mechanism is triggered by placing a stone (or similarly heavy object) atop the pillar, permenantly keeping it down. A hint towards it is "Achieved with a single effort". (Two [B]B[/B]irds, One Stone). The third mechanism is a small stand for a book with several tomes resting nearby, most of which are flamboyant and extremely garish. The stand states that the book once belonged to a Grand Archmage or Royal Advisor/King. The mechanism is triggered by placing the correctly weighted book onto the stand (or the book only opens when placed on the stand). The correct book is a simple brown leather tome that looks worn from years of use, a la Last Crusade. The hint is "Appearance is not worth judgement". (Don't judge a book by its [B]C[/B]over).

The BBEG companion thing reminds me of a story thread I had wanted to try for a game but held off on because of advice I had gotten from another GM; I had the idea of having a game oriented around an old archaeologist sending the party out to retrieve ancient artifacts, only for it to turn out that he was using them to imbue himself with magical power, and he would end up being the final boss. The problem I had pointed out to me was that A) it would require the players to be either oblivious or intentionally ignore the situation at hand, and that B) there would be nothing stopping them from just taking the artifacts and using them on themselves. I figured I could solve those by making the artifacts seem mundane or not useful to the PCs (like you can't use the mask of ultimate power if you don't know how to activate it or even what it does), but there's also still the problem of it potentially pissing off the players to have that kind of a twist thrown at them. Is it just a bad idea outright, or could it work with some finesse?

I recently found that beating the shit out of evil people trying to coax you into working for their clearly evil goals works extremely well.

If you're at a situation where the GM is letting you beat up their BBEG, they fucked up, you fucked up, and they don't have the balls to kill you for fucking up.

Just don't ever make the main quest to save the world, when your characters start at level 1.

[QUOTE=ElectricSquid;51679438]The BBEG companion thing reminds me of a story thread I had wanted to try for a game but held off on because of advice I had gotten from another GM; I had the idea of having a game oriented around an old archaeologist sending the party out to retrieve ancient artifacts, only for it to turn out that he was using them to imbue himself with magical power, and he would end up being the final boss. The problem I had pointed out to me was that A) it would require the players to be either oblivious or intentionally ignore the situation at hand, and that B) there would be nothing stopping them from just taking the artifacts and using them on themselves. I figured I could solve those by making the artifacts seem mundane or not useful to the PCs (like you can't use the mask of ultimate power if you don't know how to activate it or even what it does), but there's also still the problem of it potentially pissing off the players to have that kind of a twist thrown at them. Is it just a bad idea outright, or could it work with some finesse?[/QUOTE] Use misdirection maybe. Have the items bE incredibly mundane and sometimes super easy to find. Make the character a secondary npc who shows up between quests as a sort of palette cleanser. The main threat is the hobgoblin army mounting an attack but then woops once they storm the keep they find the archeologist at the throne. Give subtle hints about his nature, and if the players figure him out don't punish them or deny the victory. Just change his role to that of an agent working for the hobgob leader. Now they're wondering who else is a secret double agent!

So I just read part of V:TM, 20th anniversary edition's pre-made characters. Alright. So there's this obese woman, who might be a man dressed up (it's ambiguous), who's a vampire. She sings, seduces people, and is really sassy. On a scale of 1 to 5 (with 2 being average, 5 being phenomenal top 0.1% of the population) Her charisma is 3 Her manipulation is 2 Her appearance is 5 Her mental attributes (perception, intellegence, wits) are all 2. Her empathy and expression are 3. She is liked by every character in the book. Except her sire, who "pettily" informed his piers that she's a screwup because she rejected him when he had sound plans for her. So my problem with this character is that it's so... You know, an unrealistically positive portrayal of those types of people. A strong, beautiful and popular character who's overweight, probably trans, and who's sassy to people who can easily kill or ruin her. In a setting that's usually somewhere between realist and pessemist, it's a real tonal discord to have 'empowerment: the character'. Beauty is subjective, but you're not going to have 5 appearance (4 is model-level looks, 5 is the kind of shit kings'd go to war for) if you're overweight and look like a man without the hair. You're not going to inspire loyalty with 'sass' and barely above average social/average intellectual abilities (and, y'know, old vampires tend to punish people who offend them) Especially when you regularly risk the masquerade (which in game, will put you in the most severe sort of debt if you're not just executed) additional note: Vampires (in this universe) loose their excess fat when they're turned. But I guess someone'd get hurt feelings if someone was told they couldn't play a fat gorgeous vampire. But I guess inclusiveness is better than a singular artistic vision ,and the publisher's forums are an echo chamber of SJW types. I really look forward to a new white wolf taking control of the IP again. The creative director seems to really know what he's talking about.

[QUOTE=The Jack;51682697]So I just read part of V:TM, 20th anniversary edition's pre-made characters. Alright. So there's this obese woman, who might be a man dressed up (it's ambiguous), who's a vampire. She sings, seduces people, and is really sassy. On a scale of 1 to 5 (with 2 being average, 5 being phenomenal top 0.1% of the population) Her charisma is 3 Her manipulation is 2 Her appearance is 5 Her mental attributes (perception, intellegence, wits) are all 2. Her empathy and expression are 3. She is liked by every character in the book. Except her sire, who "pettily" informed his piers that she's a screwup because she rejected him when he had sound plans for her. So my problem with this character is that it's so... You know, an unrealistically positive portrayal of those types of people. A strong, beautiful and popular character who's overweight, probably trans, and who's sassy to people who can easily kill or ruin her. In a setting that's usually somewhere between realist and pessemist, it's a real tonal discord to have 'empowerment: the character'. Beauty is subjective, but you're not going to have 5 appearance (4 is model-level looks, 5 is the kind of shit kings'd go to war for) if you're overweight and look like a man without the hair. You're not going to inspire loyalty with 'sass' and barely above average social/average intellectual abilities (and, y'know, old vampires tend to punish people who offend them) Especially when you regularly risk the masquerade (which in game, will put you in the most severe sort of debt if you're not just executed) additional note: Vampires (in this universe) loose their excess fat when they're turned. But I guess someone'd get hurt feelings if someone was told they couldn't play a fat gorgeous vampire. But I guess inclusiveness is better than a singular artistic vision ,and the publisher's forums are an echo chamber of SJW types. I really look forward to a new white wolf taking control of the IP again. The creative director seems to really know what he's talking about.[/QUOTE] Moma Polari was a mistake. Even if Onyx Path won't admit it, it's true.

[QUOTE=The Jack;51682697]I really look forward to a new white wolf taking control of the IP again. The creative director seems to really know what he's talking about.[/QUOTE] Wait... is this a thing that's actually happening?

[QUOTE=Amakir;51683222]Wait... is this a thing that's actually happening?[/QUOTE] The White Wolf properties got sold to Paradox by CCP, and they're planning to make a 5th Edition of all the oWoD games(with Revised being 3e, 20th being 4e), which will also be used as an in-house setting bible for developing games and other shit(I remember them saying something about wanting a Netflix series). The buy happened at the end of 2015, and they [I]said[/I] they would release a game in 2016, but all they did was a bunch of Larping and a slot machine. [url]http://www.white-wolf.com/[/url]

[QUOTE=The Jack;51682697]So I just read part of V:TM, 20th anniversary edition's pre-made characters. Alright. So there's this obese woman, who might be a man dressed up (it's ambiguous), who's a vampire. She sings, seduces people, and is really sassy. On a scale of 1 to 5 (with 2 being average, 5 being phenomenal top 0.1% of the population) Her charisma is 3 Her manipulation is 2 Her appearance is 5 Her mental attributes (perception, intellegence, wits) are all 2. Her empathy and expression are 3. She is liked by every character in the book. Except her sire, who "pettily" informed his piers that she's a screwup because she rejected him when he had sound plans for her. So my problem with this character is that it's so... You know, an unrealistically positive portrayal of those types of people. A strong, beautiful and popular character who's overweight, probably trans, and who's sassy to people who can easily kill or ruin her. In a setting that's usually somewhere between realist and pessemist, it's a real tonal discord to have 'empowerment: the character'. Beauty is subjective, but you're not going to have 5 appearance (4 is model-level looks, 5 is the kind of shit kings'd go to war for) if you're overweight and look like a man without the hair. You're not going to inspire loyalty with 'sass' and barely above average social/average intellectual abilities (and, y'know, old vampires tend to punish people who offend them) Especially when you regularly risk the masquerade (which in game, will put you in the most severe sort of debt if you're not just executed) additional note: Vampires (in this universe) loose their excess fat when they're turned. But I guess someone'd get hurt feelings if someone was told they couldn't play a fat gorgeous vampire. But I guess inclusiveness is better than a singular artistic vision ,and the publisher's forums are an echo chamber of SJW types. I really look forward to a new white wolf taking control of the IP again. The creative director seems to really know what he's talking about.[/QUOTE] Even antediluvians fear the Z-snap

DM: "You come across an injured Monk who upon seeing the Ranger (ME) runs up to him." [I]"Thank God you're here! Loesin... (my starting adventure hook character) might be dead! all we found was a broken staff and this, his [U]silver leather bracelet[/U]!"[/I] Rogue: "Cool I'll take that thanks." Warlock: "No as leader I'll take it." Me: "NO.. as I'm his friend and the only one in this party who actually knows him, as well as being MY HOOK I'll take it!" Rogue: "let's roll for it, 7" Warlock: "12" DM: "It belongs to the Ranger. (Me)" Warlock to rogue : "Steal it from him later tonight so we can sell it." Rogue : "Yeah good idea." :why: