The Elder Scrolls Megathread XX: Might as well be XXX

[Janeway]

[QUOTE=MrHeadHopper;52930120]Oh right they don't instadie to magic like the Altmer do. Could the Nords in charge of defending Skyrim after a victory against the Empire just go to the College, enchant their weapons for +1 damage in any school and just instagib the elves?[/QUOTE]

pssh, nords and magic.

what a laugh.

[_maverick_]

Nords - magicless betas who get cucked
Imperials - literally useless at stopping invasions, and their armies wear SKIRTS? ??
Bretons - society of half blood scum who disgrace magic
Redguards - American redneck tier MUH SWORD MAGIC
Orcs - make fine gladiator slaves and pack mules, but that's it. Slavery is basically doing them a favour.
khajiit - only good khajiit is a dead khajiit but get yourself a dealer anyway because when he can't deliver you get a new rug.
Argonians - literally trash. Probably hippies, think they are connected to trees.. Honestly it's pitiful.

High elves - perfect silky hair, glorious face, dreamboat eyes, bodies that other lesser creatures can't even dare to match, TALLEST race. Ancient history, incredible architecture, champions of the world, renowned conquerors able to take down entire civilisation without lifting a finger, masters of all magic.

>other mer races.
>implying they are worth mentioning.

Really guys, it's time we all admit who the REAL best race is.

[Janeway]

[QUOTE=_Maverick_;52930151]Nords - magicless betas who get cucked
Imperials - literally useless at stopping invasions, and their armies wear SKIRTS? ??
Bretons - society of half blood scum who disgrace magic
Redguards - American redneck tier MUH SWORD MAGIC
Orcs - make fine gladiator slaves and pack mules, but that's it. Slavery is basically doing them a favour.
khajiit - only good khajiit is a dead khajiit but get yourself a dealer anyway because when he can't deliver you get a new rug.
Argonians - literally trash. Probably hippies, think they are connected to trees.. Honestly it's pitiful.

High elves - perfect silky hair, glorious face, dreamboat eyes, bodies that other lesser creatures can't even dare to match, TALLEST race. Ancient history, incredible architecture, champions of the world, renowned conquerors able to take down entire civilisation without lifting a finger, masters of all magic.

>other mer races.
>implying they are worth mentioning.

Really guys, it's time we all admit who the REAL best race is.[/QUOTE]

enjoy that weakness to magic nerd

[Peon Greenjoy]

Argonians - snake oil sellers.

[Siberys]

Local elf slips, lightly touches magical candle, burns to death

Neighbors say 'it had to happen eventually, you'd think those idiots would've seen it coming'

[MrHeadHopper]

I personally contribute to the REMOVE ELF cause by using the Defeat mod to capture the Thalmor agents and deliver them to Stormcloak camps for a bounty.

And nothing else, nothing happens after I deliver them. [I]Nothing[/I]. I only use the mod because no other mod lets you capture and deliver people. Nothing [sp]lewd[/sp] happens to the lone, debilitated elf surrounded by vindictive, bored Nords.

[MegaJohnny]

[QUOTE=_Maverick_;52930151]Bretons - society of half blood scum who disgrace magic[/QUOTE]
Careful chatting shit. We have the magic ability of our Nord ancestors combined with the constitution of our Meric forebears.

[_maverick_]

[QUOTE=MrHeadHopper;52930517]I personally contribute to the REMOVE ELF cause by using the Defeat mod to capture the Thalmor agents and deliver them to Stormcloak camps for a bounty.

And nothing else, nothing happens after I deliver them. [I]Nothing[/I]. I only use the mod because no other mod lets you capture and deliver people. Nothing [sp]lewd[/sp] happens to the lone, debilitated elf surrounded by vindictive, bored Nords.[/QUOTE]

Sure buddy. :v:

[Hexagon]

Don't know what i was expecting.

[video=youtube_share;M1zVEyMIYNY]http://youtu.be/M1zVEyMIYNY[/video]

[bishibosh]

You guys worship Auri-El...

...right?

[LeonS]

julianos is the only god worth worshipping.

[MrHeadHopper]

Worship Stendarr and play the Vigilant mod featuring TES lore and Dark Souls visuals. Praise Pelinartorias

[Milktree]

why worship anyone when the numidium kills everyone on nirn anyway. the gods don't give a shit

[DIOBRANDO]

[QUOTE=milktree;52931179]why worship anyone when the numidium kills everyone on nirn anyway. the gods don't give a shit[/QUOTE]

Uhhh the gods didn't create numidium, so the fault of world destroying falls soley on the elves back then and the elves now who are trying it in a different way.

[Stalketeer]

Are we harry potter thread now

All this magic and blood talk

[DiscoInferno]

I worship the All-Maker, fight me except don't please Solsthiem's ecosystem is very fragile.

[MrHeadHopper]

[QUOTE=DiscoInferno;52931313]I worship the All-Maker, fight me except don't please Solsthiem's ecosystem is very fragile.[/QUOTE]

I want to [sp]preserve[/sp] Frea's fragile Solstheim ecosystem

[Stalketeer]

Cant believe the elves didnt try to create Umaril 2.0

[_charon]

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;52931420]Cant believe the elves didnt try to create Umaril 2.0[/QUOTE]

Umaril is fucking weird and I doubt there's ever been or will ever be anything like him again
Son of a non-specific et'Ada (but seemingly neither a known Aedra or Daedra) and an Ayleid mother (because the Ayleids were into all KINDS of kinky religious magic shit), with Meridia backing him for some unknown reason - killed only because Pelinal is the most hilariously overpowered mortal in TES history and could slay entire armies on his own, while screaming insanity about Reman and elves, and drinking the blood of his foes through their throats.

[editline]29th November 2017[/editline]

[QUOTE=milktree;52931179]why worship anyone when the numidium kills everyone on nirn anyway. the gods don't give a shit[/QUOTE]

The Nine Divines are dead; they [I]can't[/I] give a shit
Except Talos of course, but things are out of his control now (and it's also his fault a little bit, he had to turn the damned thing back on)

[imadaman]

[QUOTE=_charon;52931590]Pelinal is the most hilariously overpowered mortal[/QUOTE]

Triggered

[QUOTE=_charon;52931590]Except Talos of course, but things are out of his control now (and it's also his fault a little bit, he had to turn the damned thing back on)[/QUOTE]

To be fair he was up for a change of government back in Morrowind times already.

[Janeway]

[QUOTE=_charon;52931590]The Nine Divines are dead; they [I]can't[/I] give a shit[/QUOTE]

I mean, they must be alive in some fashion given shrines can confer observable benefits, or the fact that Martin became, in essence an extended part of Akatosh to defeat Mehrunes Dagon.

[ROFLBURGER]

nine divines are fake

their shrines are just buttons that fire spells at you when you touch them

[Ravenholme]

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;52932091]nine divines are fake

their shrines are just buttons that fire spells at you when you touch them[/QUOTE]

We've got a Code 42: Someone has achieved CHIM, deploy the Godhead.

[gk99]

[QUOTE=jimbobjoe1234;52929698]We got too many elf collaborators in this thread.[/QUOTE]

Tbh I'm pissed we won't be a part of the great pushback that sends those damn dirty elves back to the hell they came from.

Though of course bethbryotion wouldn't be able to handle that reasonably.

[editline]29th November 2017[/editline]

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;52932091]nine divines are fake

their shrines are just buttons that fire spells at you when you touch them[/QUOTE]

This is why the daedra were always more cool and far more worth my characters' worship.

They're whiny and cranky and they seriously think they're the ones in control here (ha, as if) but at least they give me cool shit from helping them rather than a dumb temp bonus

[mastfire]

Daedra are best race, fuck everything else

[Stalketeer]

Why can they all just worship the All-Maker?

If a 'god' is so weak that they became sissies after creating 1 world, i say they are not worth worshipping

[_charon]

[QUOTE=jonu67;52932010]I mean, they must be alive in some fashion given shrines can confer observable benefits, or the fact that Martin became, in essence an extended part of Akatosh to defeat Mehrunes Dagon.[/QUOTE]

In a nutshell, the Eight gave themselves to form Nirn; it is essentially part of their collective corpse, as well as the eight planes/planets in the sky (plus Lorkhan whose body is either the twin moons or the third, hidden moon, and whose Heart is Nirn's heart). They form the most basis of the world, with the Earthbones (remains of ancient, nameless et'Ada) forming the physical laws the shape the rest.

But the Divines, in their truest sense, are pretty much sentient concepts made of formless magicka (which tends to be called creatia in this sense; it's raw potential for creation from nothing), so death isn't quite the same for them. Different cultures give them different names like Auriel/Alkosh/Akatosh/Alduin, or Zenithar/Z'en/Zeht/Tsun; and all exist simultaneously and separately from the original spirit, apparently through the sheer power of belief manipulating that creatia. They're possibly also effected by who is in control of the Towers, since White-Gold was used to retroactively pull Akatosh out of Auriel.

But the original spirits are fragmented as a result, and the Divines are no longer capable of acting on their own initiative; that's why the Daedra, who did not make this sacrifice, are able to fuck about as they please (typically they only need you either because of the various protections against them entering Nirn directly, or because they find it far more entertaining to convince you to do their dirty work), while the Divines are limited to remaining silent until needed, and acting through proxies like Dragonborns.

[editline]29th November 2017[/editline]

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;52933567]Why can they all just worship the All-Maker?

If a 'god' is so weak that they became sissies after creating 1 world, i say they are not worth worshipping[/QUOTE]

All-Maker is a bit mysterious but there's a pretty good chance he's just all eight Divines wrapped into one, or Nirn itself; with the Adversary being Lorkhan or some aspect of him, and the Greedy Man perhaps just being a title for anyone who threatens the Skaal

edit: also Talos is a bit of an odd one out because he was a mortal who ascended; he's taken the place of deader-than-dead Lorkhan and has a bit more autonomy, being able to mostly maintain his identity (notice how the only difference between Talos and Tiber Septim is that one is Nord and one is Imperial)
He's weakening as the Empire weakens, though, and he seems to be limited by trying to hold everything together

one more edit: fun fact a scrapped concept for Skyrim (or at least, for anything TES post-Oblivion) was for that dragon icon the Imperial Legion uses, representing both Tiber Septim and Akatosh, to have become cracked everywhere it appears, and any attempts at making new ones resulting in them breaking as well; the ending of the Septim Dynasty would have inherently broken Talos' godhood, and the fabric of reality was crying out in pain

[DIOBRANDO]

Well for clarification I am 99% sure the Adversary to the Skaal is Hermaeus Mora which is addressed in the DB dlc. Lorkhan is disliked in more Elven religions because of the whole binding them to mortal forms which suffer and he was the head of it.

[IlluminatiRex]

You mean you guys don’t worship Morwha the Teat God?

[editline]29th November 2017[/editline]

Also is there any more explanation of how exactly using a shorter walking stride allowed the Altmer to live another 100 years?

I need to know for scientific purposes.

[_charon]

[QUOTE=1chains1;52933849]Well for clarification I am 99% sure the Adversary to the Skaal is Hermaeus Mora which is addressed in the DB dlc. Lorkhan is disliked in more Elven religions because of the whole binding them to mortal forms which suffer and he was the head of it.[/QUOTE]

Nah, the Greedy Man is Hermaeus Mora; Miraak is also the Greedy Man.

The Skaal are unique from Nords in not following Shor or any other apparent aspect of Lorkhan; it's not an inherently Elvish thing, just more common to them. Why exactly the Skaal are so different is a mystery, as we don't know anything about their early history; I'd guess it's due to taking up worship of the magical nature totems around Solstheim.

[editline]29th November 2017[/editline]

[QUOTE=bdd458;52933854]You mean you guys don’t worship Morwha the Teat God?

[editline]29th November 2017[/editline]

Also is there any more explanation of how exactly using a shorter walking stride allowed the Altmer to live another 100 years?

I need to know for scientific purposes.[/QUOTE]

It's probably a metaphor or just an old fairy tale
alternatively time shenanigans????