• Crossdressing/Transgender Megathread v. There is an unicorn under my dress.
    10,001 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Inufin;35856726]I just had the perfect night out. Never had so much fun. Just before everyone was about to leave I managed to ruin everything. I fucking hate myself so much. I can't fucking take it. Fuck. I left home. I fucking mean it when I said it. I was thinking about suicide. So much. Just end this all. Fucking end all this shit. I hate myself. Thank fucking god my friends came to look for me, ringing the doorbell like crazy. I took my sleeping pills and I'm about to fall asleep soon. Details tomorrow because just right now I can't. God I hate myself. I just want to be happy. Why must life be so hard. Good night. Took my sleeping pills. Double amount, I'm going to fall asleep soon so details tomorrow. I fucking hate myself.[/QUOTE] Excited for story [editline]7th May 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=biodude94566;35854387]I'm [i]obviously[/i] the best gold member because I was boosted when garry first changed the rules to the time/post system. :J[/QUOTE] is the time post system still in effect or now is the only way to get gold is to buy it?
Sorry about that post, I shouldn't have put it. Anyway, I promised to give the details so here they come: [B]Read the whole thing if you plan on commenting about this. Please leave anything negative to yourself.[/B] I went out in girly clothes again, purple jeans, long slim black shirt and I had bracelets and stuff. I looked fabulous~ I invited few of my friends to sit with me in the city and we just spent time there and we just decided to go out as a group and go to a club with my friends. We managed to get a nice group of about 10 people and we went there together. Including my ex-best friend who started dating my ex-girlfriend. It was really rude from them, but I still wish I could be their friend, but it's just so hard. I still invited them along and everything was fine until the end. We were almost the first people who arrived to the club since we were there right as it opened. We sat down around a table next to the dance floor and people went to grab some drinks, I decided not to drink since it messes up with my antidepressants and to be honest I have spent way too much money drinking recently. No problem, I can have fun sober. Fast forward about 1 hour and the club gets filled, but there still aren't people dancing. We were having a great time talking and we even saw other people who joined the group. The music was really shitty (I dislike almost everything you can hear from the radio, and that's what they play there), but I decided. "I'm going to fill the dance floor." I went there alone dancing, I really love dancing and I honestly don't care about anything else when I go out. I'm there to dance and everything else is extra. I spent about 5min dancing alone and at that point two girls out of nowhere decided to join me. My dancing is really energetic and anytime I go out dancing people will pay attention to me (my ex-best friend has the same style). Usually when girls come to dance they take it slow and try to dance sexy (Imo that's boring), but this time the girls started stepping with me, we were pretty much dancing hardstyle in the beat of pop so it was really funny, but still amazing. The song changed to something slower so we had to change style so then we all started dancing the "sexy girl"-style. One of these girls got really close to me and we had some really intimate dancing and some random guys decided to join the dance floor. We had some chitchat on the dance floor with the girls and the guys kept trying to get the girls attention, but the girls were all over me. Literally, at some point the blonde girl started grinding me and took my hands and started rubbing my hands all over her, my friends at the table started cheering at me and me and the blonde girl had a really great time dancing, she said something to me and told her she will be back soon and then her friend started dancing with me and almost doing the same (Not so intimate as she did tho). At some point I went outside to cool off and smoke I saw the blonde girl come out too, she ran past me and said bye so I thought she just left home. When I came back inside my friends told me that she had an argument with someone who looked like her boyfriend. Oops. I remembered one my of friend has her birthday today so I texted her and called her over and she said she will come soon. I sat down with my friends, one of them bought me a drink and I drank it rather fast so I got a bit drunk and went back dancing and this time I got most of my friends to come with me, including my ex and her boyfriend. A speedy song came on so me and my ex-best friend started popping like crazy and we jumped on the stage (there is a small platform that is higher than the main floor) and people where cheering and trying to keep up with our style, some guys joined us on the platform and they actually were pretty good at it. I saw a girl I was talking to last time I was out and I went to say hi and invited her to dance and we had a good time again, after dancing I came to sit at our table and my friends started laughing at me at our table "Whoo, Joakim, what the hell that's already your third girl tonight?" At that point I decided that this has been the best night ever and nothing is going to ruin it. Went to have a smoke with the girl I had just danced with and we talked about random stuff and exchanged numbers. She had to go and explain to her boyfriend that I'm just a friend and gay so I wouldn't get beat up by him. Heh. More dancing. Went to taste some drinks from my friends. More dancing. I got so exhausted so I went outside again for a smoke, met some exchange students from Spain, Germany and France, It was cool to talk English with someone so I had a great time. The girl with the birthday came and I offered her one drink. The strongest one in the house just to mess with her since I know she is really weak with alcohol and she was so adorable getting all drunk from just one drink. Ha, that's my way of saying happy birthday. (When it was my 18th birthday my friends made my completely drunk and I ran around the house wearing only thongs.) At this point the music started being more dnb/dubstep based so I had a great time dancing even more, and more and even tho my legs and hips were hurting I just continued because I love dancing. Random people on the dance floor approached me and started dancing with me (guys and girls). I went to buy one drink since I was really thirsty and I saw my friends talking to someone handsome so I went to say hi. My friends just randomly told him that I am gay and then the guy just looked at me (he spoke English) "Really, would you like a kiss?" Sure, why not I agreed and he kissed me. Two of my friends who where next to me they just said how cute that was, then the guy started grabbing my ass and asked if I wanted to have some sex with him and I got embarrassed and tried to explain that it would be a cool, but I think I'm not ready for it yet since I don't know him. Then he asked to kiss me again and I said of-course, then we did a 2min french kiss rolling around the room and we moved like 5meters or something, after the kiss I turned around to my friends table and everyone was shocked and clapping their hands and cheering at me once again. I laughed and I don't remember what I said to him but he answered: "Yeah, sorry I already have a girlfriend." Then I just turned around and slowly walked back to our table and then I (jokingly) broken down hit my head on the table and yelled "He turned me downnnnn!!!" I was in so good mood all the time and I was enjoying all the little things. Danced with my birthday friend and after that I danced with my ex girlfriends sister (my ex didn't like my idea lol). We had been there for 5 hours and the place was going to close so they started playing slow music so all the pairs went on the dance floor to dance slowly. Then just out of fucking nowhere I got so pissed at seeing my ex and my previously best friend kissing each other. I turned around and tried to calm down. Thought about how much fun I had and tried to concentrate to it. I just couldn't think straight. After the music ended we left and went to grab some pizza. I walked in front of the two so I didn't have to look at them holding hands, but it was still annoying me. All of them went inside and I stayed outside smoking and every breath I did I found out a new reason to be angry. I started remembering all the sad things and all the happy things which just made the sad things feel worse. My ex came outside to have a smoke with me, she talked to me, but I didn't want to answer. I just looked away and let her talk to me. She got pissed and left inside. I started walking home without saying bye to my friends. While I was walking home every step I found more reasons to be angry and sad. I can't even understand how I managed to remember so many things. My phone started ringing and I didn't answer, I even got text messages but I didn't care. Turned my phone off. Came home close to crying. Took a long drink and took it down in one go. I opened my cupboard and looked at what pills I have. I was planning to just take everything, down it with alcohol. Cut myself while smoking and then jump down from the balcony. I live on the 6th floor. I was seriously going to do it. I don't know how far I could have done it, but I was going to start cutting when I heard the doorbell. I paused and hid my razor and went to open the door. The two girls from the group of my friends were there exhausted from running up all the stairs. I let them in and just broke down. I was crying. Screaming. Throwing things. Kicking things. Smoking. Told them everything. They just hugged me and I was crying. They told me to take my sleeping pills so they can leave me alone and not be afraid that I will do something. They did all they could trying to support me. At some point the reason for my crying changed to how happy I was to have people like them around me. Honestly I just remember repeating thank you and hugging the back while crying. I took the sleeping pills and they cleared my bed and I just went on my bed after they felt I still got up for a while. Checked this thread and Tumblr, but then I just got too tired and instantly fell asleep crying. Sorry for so much text but here is everything what I remember happening from last night and I feel like I had to write it all because my message was so horrible what I left for you. I'm OK for now. I'm going out with the girls shopping now. I hope I can have a good day today. [B]tl;dr[/B]: Everything was fun, and then out of nowhere I got so sad I was about to kill myself, then my friends arrived just in time to save me.
[QUOTE=Inufin;35862182]wall of text[/QUOTE] I've read it all, and wow... I just. have no words for this. All I think of saying is stay strong...
Inufin I don't really blame you for getting mad at seeing that, I think most people would even if they had a great night, so stay strong please. <3
[QUOTE=Inufin;35862182]Parede de texto[/QUOTE] Hey just to say that although I never come here, my suggestion is to live through your present, and as tough as it may sound, go on and forget about the past. Museums are made for that. See how awesome your new friends were? Your life is awesome and I wish I could be as entertaining as you are. Also the cliché'd "suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem" phrase. Sorry if I said anything wrong, since I'm never here and I really don't know anything about you all. [editline]7th May 2012[/editline] Also don't blame yourself over things, that's wrong in so many levels.
Well it appears that after that long post a friend of mine actually wanted to hang out.
[QUOTE=Inufin;35862182]~Rocking party~[/QUOTE] Things like that always hurt, but you have to stay strong. You were the coolest person in the entire club, you're better than both of them, and I actually envy you not only for what happened in the club, but that you didn't take it further when you felt bad. Perhaps it would be good for you if you had a talk with your ex, just to set things straight? [B]Edit:[/B] Wish I could hug you. Please stay strong!<3 :c
I just realized I made something unclear. My ex started dating with my best friend about a month ago. I was frustrated and mad and after many times we three agreed to not see each other for a while and when we do the two of them act like they are friends, for me. At this point I already was losing my trust for both of these persons, but I still wanted to be with them. The next day after the agreement they broke it and I was mad and I didn't see them for almost a month. And they did the exact same thing again after I saw them a long time. I'm not going to talk to them for now. Everyone in my friend group is on my side and it has been since my friends always asked from me if we invited those two and it has been completely up to me. I'm feeling a lot better today. Even bought a new shirt. I could take a picture for you people. :)
[QUOTE=QueenSasha24;35860654]I feel dumb for not knowing what the implications are here :saddowns:[/QUOTE] Cowgirl is really tiring after 10 minutes. That's all. [editline]7th May 2012[/editline] ~TMI~
[QUOTE=Zeldy;35864427]Cowgirl is really tiring after 10 minutes. That's all. [/QUOTE]instantly agreed. >_> edit: NOW THAT WAS A WASTE OF A POST. Think of something nice to say.. Uuuhh.. Oh god my brain is empty. Needs more purple things in it.
In other news, I got my sister a cake for her birthday. We're going out to eat in a few hours and see a movie. [img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/5UZuT.jpg[/img_thumb] My parents sent her the flowers that are on the left. [editline]7th May 2012[/editline] Her birthday gift is my time because I'm still behind on class work and projects and it's the last week. :x
Oh my fucking god I swear if I had that cake with me I'd go face first into it because why not?
Also stuff on steam. [editline]7th May 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=KonKitten;35864598]Oh my fucking god I swear if I had that cake with me I'd go face first into it because why not?[/QUOTE] Remind me to buy you cake some time. :v:
[QUOTE=Zeldy;35864599] Remind me to buy you cake some time. :v:[/QUOTE] I'll let you lick it off me. Promise.
We're supposedly getting some money for ourselves to spend on Tuesday! And some more after we get ahold of this lawyer! I'm definitely going to probably buy a bag/some compootle parts with the Tuesday money.
[QUOTE=KonKitten;35864627]I'll let you lick it off me. Promise.[/QUOTE] Oh- Oh my. Remind me to buy you a BIG cake some time. :v:
[img]http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3o7s09WW31qa76vro1_1280.jpg[/img] Also, internet hugs back to everyone.
That is an awesome shirt. You look great, too! Also sorry, just read your post. :c
[QUOTE=Zeldy;35864427]Cowgirl is really tiring after 10 minutes. That's all. [editline]7th May 2012[/editline] ~TMI~[/QUOTE] I read this, get distracted by Zeldy's avatar. [b]OH GOD THE IMAGES IN MY HEAD.[/b]
[QUOTE=ViralHatred;35864778]I read this, get distracted by Zeldy's avatar. [b]OH GOD THE IMAGES IN MY HEAD.[/b][/QUOTE] Excellent... All is going according to plan.
[QUOTE=Fingers!!!;35863460]Also the cliché'd "suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem" phrase.[/QUOTE] I hate that phrase so much, because some problems [I]aren't[/I] temporary, and hearing it just highlights the permanence of those problems.
[QUOTE=Zeldy;35864572]In other news, I got my sister a cake for her birthday. We're going out to eat in a few hours and see a movie. [img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/5UZuT.jpg[/img_thumb] My parents sent her the flowers that are on the left. [editline]7th May 2012[/editline] Her birthday gift is my time because I'm still behind on class work and projects and it's the last week. :x[/QUOTE] Aw, I want a piece. That looks AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS. :c
[QUOTE=NoobieWafer223;35864963]Aw, I want a piece. That looks AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS. :c[/QUOTE] The bakery I found makes amazing looking cakes. I felt so out of place there though. Most of the cakes they had on display had crosses and such and said things like "GOD BLESS YOU" and shit like that. Everyone there and their kids were staring at me. :v: Didn't help that I pulled up with my windows rolled down and really heavy metal along with latin chanting blasting from my car.
[QUOTE=Inufin;35864375]I just realized I made something unclear. My ex started dating with my best friend about a month ago. I was frustrated and mad and after many times we three agreed to not see each other for a while and when we do the two of them act like they are friends, for me. At this point I already was losing my trust for both of these persons, but I still wanted to be with them. The next day after the agreement they broke it and I was mad and I didn't see them for almost a month. And they did the exact same thing again after I saw them a long time. I'm not going to talk to them for now. Everyone in my friend group is on my side and it has been since my friends always asked from me if we invited those two and it has been completely up to me. I'm feeling a lot better today. Even bought a new shirt. I could take a picture for you people. :)[/QUOTE] SAME EXACT FUCKING THING FUCK They even had sex on school grounds within three days of us breaking up, all whilst lying to my face 'oh we're not in a relationship'. Of course you are you lying bitch. [editline]7th May 2012[/editline] I'm ignoring her, I'm just going to pretend we were never in a relationship together. She fucking lied to me all the time... [editline]7th May 2012[/editline] Woah, holy shit. I thought I put this behind me. I guess not, since that post got a rise out of me. [editline]7th May 2012[/editline] now im feeling like shit fuck im going to take a very long bath...
Baths are good. Be sure to put tons of bubbles into it! Have fun!~ [img]http://www.facepunch.com/fp/ratings/heart.png[/img]
I hardly read the posts here...
[QUOTE=DiscoInferno;35866038]I hardly read the posts here...[/QUOTE] Speak for yourself. I can't even read at all. I just guess what the odd symbols on the screen mean.
[QUOTE=Zeldy;35865031]The bakery I found makes amazing looking cakes. I felt so out of place there though. Most of the cakes they had on display had crosses and such and said things like "GOD BLESS YOU" and shit like that. Everyone there and their kids were staring at me. :v: Didn't help that I pulled up with my windows rolled down and really heavy metal along with latin chanting blasting from my car.[/QUOTE] The song in question. [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPEmmpYvsJ0[/media]
I need to sit down. Just talked someone out of a suicide. It's really taxing on your emotions to have to witness it.
You girls are great, except when you fight. Even though nobody really seems to notice me, I love you girlss <3
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.