• Crossdressing/Transgender Megathread v. There is an unicorn under my dress.
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[2:29:03 PM] Nana: my mom just sent me this message [2:30:43 PM] Nana: :vittu cause you can not answer! I opened one Joakim's letter! I don't know if I should have done it or not!!!!!! It is from Tampere TRANS poliklinic!!!! Do you know about this?????!! *translated: Diagnosation gender identity and sex change operation fixing* [2:30:55 PM] Nana: tl note: vittu means fuck [2:31:01 PM] Nana: i have to call my dad now [2:31:08 PM] Nana: I DIDNT WANT HIM TO FIND OUT LIKE T HIS Ok, I had to call my dad and well. We talked. He wasn't too proud about me. He said that he won't be able to stop me. (He didn't say it, but he wants to stop me). He questioned me about all of this and I had to explain how I had be faking a role these past years and stuff like that. He was really surprised when I told him that I was more interested in men, but then he joked about it that it should be normal if I am a girl. I think thinks went quite well still. I guess. Bit worried though. I need to get the letter now so I can find out what it said and when I have the time to Tampere. I also texted my mom to talk with dad so if they could together remember early signs of me being trans since I can't remember anything myself.
I'm into crossdressing, and have been told it suits me. I once wore a dress to school as part of a social experiment my Psychology class did on how people react to socially abnormal behaviours and the reception I got was mostly positive for some reason and it kinda made me more accepting of that part of me I guess, along with female friends telling me 'you'd make a pretty girl'. My voice is fairly masculine though which really disgusts me at times. (Though only I seem to think this, hearing my voice on the radio made me cringe but everyone jokes about how I don't sound very masculine, so its probably just self loathing bullshit) I feel sometimes I ought to have been born a girl (though part of me feels like I for some reason need to 'make up' for my sisters death and be the daughter my mother never had, yes I am aware this is completely irrational) but a lot of the time I mostly just feel 'if I were given a choice, I'd be born female'. Anyway, I really don't know if I actually want to be female or if I just like being a man who enjoys putting on dresses. Is this a 'normal' part of crossdressing or am I just overthinking things? Sorry if this all sounds really inane and stupid, I'm really not that knowledgeable when it comes to this kind of stuff.
[QUOTE=Squeaken;36427266]I'm into crossdressing, and have been told it suits me. I once wore a dress to school as part of a social experiment my Psychology class did on how people react to socially abnormal behaviours and the reception I got was mostly positive for some reason and it kinda made me more accepting of that part of me I guess, along with female friends telling me 'you'd make a pretty girl'. My voice is fairly masculine though which really disgusts me at times. (Though only I seem to think this, hearing my voice on the radio made me cringe but everyone jokes about how I don't sound very masculine, so its probably just self loathing bullshit) I feel sometimes I ought to have been born a girl (though part of me feels like I for some reason need to 'make up' for my sisters death and be the daughter my mother never had, yes I am aware this is completely irrational) but a lot of the time I mostly just feel 'if I were given a choice, I'd be born female'. Anyway, I really don't know if I actually want to be female or if I just like being a man who enjoys putting on dresses. Is this a 'normal' part of crossdressing or am I just overthinking things? Sorry if this all sounds really inane and stupid, I'm really not that knowledgeable when it comes to this kind of stuff.[/QUOTE] This is not stupid at all. Really good post. I like this. Anyway, if you feel that crossdressing is nice and especially if it has turned out good, as in people thinking that it suits you. Keep doing it whenever you feel like it. :) Sometimes traumatic things like losing a sister might get you to think and act differently, It may be completely irrational, but it might cause these thoughts. There are plenty of people who think about things that they were born the different gender, just that some people think about it more often and for different reasons. You don't have to be trans if you sometimes think about being born in a different body! You could try and get someone to talk to about this. I don't know where you live or what kind of options you have there, but here in Finland even with these thoughts on your mind you can actually seek to the transpoliclinic and get someone to talk to you and find out if you actually are just a crossdresser or transgendered. Feel free to ask anything you have on your mind, we are here to help, since we all are into this together. :)
Thanks. I really don't know where to go for support other than the internet with something like this, though. I really don't know where I stand when it comes to gender. I try to avoid mentioning my gender online and would rather people have no knowledge of it (though most think I'm a girl, when me and Cheesedelux did an online radioshow people kept referring to her as me or asking why I wasn't talking cause all they could hear where men. Also when I drew comics and stuff to post in LMAO pics I represented myself as a girl, though this is partially cause I find girls so much easier to draw[the long hair hides the shoulders, neck and ear area which is easy to fuck up]), and if I ever get any of my writing published I'm gonna do it under an androgynous pen name. People like Andrej Peljec really interest/appeal to me cause he can sport male and female clothes and look damn good doing it, and he makes me feel like I can be feminine without necessarily having to be female? Though at other times I'd rather just be a girl. When I look at myself in the mirror I feel good about having girlish hips and longish hair but bad about everything else. I'm a bit underweight but I can't help but feel like I need to exercise and diet to be 'pretty', and actually miss when I could see my ribs. When I was young I would keep my hair long to spite my dad for saying that I looked like a girl (though this ended up with him getting drunk as shit and putting his hand on my lap and telling me its okay to like men in a really creepy manner the night before spending stupid amounts of money he couldn't afford to spend on taking me (and not my siblings or his wife) to Bali for two weeks). When I'm around women I feel inferior and ugly, and when I'm around men I feel physically threatened and weak (paranoid and shitty thoughts like, 'this guy could beat the shit out of me or worse any time he liked and I'm basically at his mercy not to do so') Being bisexual I really don't know what society expects me to be. Straight men are masculine, gay men are feminine, but what do I have to do to be attractive and socially acceptable? I know its crappy to care about things like that, but when society is telling me every day that I'm either a sexual deviant or my sexuality is a copout it doesn't make me feel good at all. I act feminine around my female friends (and it feels fake and shitty) and masculine around my male friends (and it also feels fake and shitty). Or I do the opposite and it still feels fake and shitty but theres some kind of twisted irony in it or something that makes it seem funny to me. I hate myself for being cliched and macho whenever I like something masculine like a shooter game and I hate myself for being girly and 'weak' whenever I like something feminine like fashion. I once dyed my hair bright blue cause I felt it looked good on Katy Perry, and I ended up dying it back to brown after having guys I've never met yelling from their car window and across streets and stuff that I was a faggot. I was tempted to dye my hair pink but was talked out of it by everyone I suggested the idea to. Sometimes I look at myself and just think, 'put on some respectable clothes and get a real haircut you fucking queen.' And then I get all interested in shit like lifting weights and sparring with my friend who's into boxing and I act all shitty and start hating everyone rather than being sensitive and kind like I usually try to be, but it never really lasts long and I feel guilty for acting masculine when I like to pride femininity. I used to be interested in joining the army or air force because it'd make me feel like a red blooded man and a hero, but I gave up on the idea after hitting my late teens and becoming a pacifist. (Again, this makes me feel weak). In the third grade or so I remember whenever I cried alone I'd cut myself on my legs as some sort of self-punishment for 'acting like a girl'. Part of me wants to get punched in the face for dressing like a girl in the privacy of my own home because I feel that's what I deserve, and I felt like I had it coming when a guy strangled me in a public bathroom because I'm not straight. I guess part of the reason I want to be a girl at times is because it'd make all the stuff I do socially acceptable and fine, but I feel like this is just some 'grass is greener on the other side' bullshit at the same time. Sorry for this massive wall of text about trivial shit (that doesn't make a lot of sense), but I really feel I have nowhere else to pen these thoughts. One of my closest friends is really supportive of me crossdressing and stuff and she's offered to take me clothes shopping and that kinda stuff, but I can't really relate to her on anything involving gender. I don't feel like I can go to a doctor because I'm too scared to tell one about my concerns about my mental health let alone something so taboo as this. And I feel like I'd be a shit person by indulging in helplessness like that even though I know that attitude is part of the problem. But I don't know anyone who I'd be willing to talk to about this stuff that hasn't told me that they are 100% okay with their gender/gender role so I feel like I have nobody I can relate to. I don't feel like I'm transgender or worthy of a doctors attention or something like that because I've essentially decided I would rather be a girl.
Skipped though a bit of that, since I've got a game of TF2 going.. But you'll find this thread a nice place to let out everything regarding the subject of gender identity and crossdressing. <3
[QUOTE=Squeaken;36429472]Thanks. I really don't know where to go for support other than the internet with something like this, though.[/QUOTE] I think one of the best pieces of advice I can give you is thus. Be you. Screw what everyone else thinks of you (barring people that you need to think good of you, like parents if you're a minor or still a dependent so you can continue safely living). Do what you want, think what you want. [b]Don't[/b] let society or anyone pressure you or bully you into being something you're not. Going to a professional would probably be the best bet to solidify what you are. If you're just a crossdresser, or if you're transsexual. It sounds like you've got a lot of issues on your plate as it is, and you unfortunately can't think them out all on your own. Some people (like myself) don't need to see a therapist to figure out, some people need the help, and others only need a professional confirmation for what they've known. Don't be afraid to get help, it's not a taboo or anything to ask for help. Just make sure that you find someone who's there for you, not someone who's going to tell you what your parents want you to be told. I've heard a few stories of a therapist putting someone down and trying to tell them they're something that they're not because that's what the parents want to hear.
Visited my mom the other day. Found these on the table: [img]http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5z1siqjdg1qa76vro1_500.jpg[/img] [sp]baby me[/sp] [editline]22nd June 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Squeaken;36429472]Sorry for this massive wall of text about trivial shit (that doesn't make a lot of sense), but I really feel I have nowhere else to pen these thoughts. One of my closest friends is really supportive of me crossdressing and stuff and she's offered to take me clothes shopping and that kinda stuff, but I can't really relate to her on anything involving gender. I don't feel like I can go to a doctor because I'm too scared to tell one about my concerns about my mental health let alone something so [B]taboo as this[/B]. And I feel like I'd be a shit person by indulging in helplessness like that even though I know that attitude is part of the problem. But I don't know anyone who I'd be willing to talk to about this stuff that hasn't told me that they are 100% okay with their gender/gender role so I feel like I have nobody I can relate to. I don't feel like I'm transgender or [B]worthy of a doctors attention[/B] or something like that because I've essentially decided I would rather be a girl.[/QUOTE] These two things are something that you have to walk over. This like this are what you need to talk about, hiding them will make things harder for you. You should get support about this, be it from a therapist, doctor or anyone else. You can try to meet an transspecialist, this doesn't mean that you are going to start hormones or anything, they can and will help you find out who you truly are. After reading what you have told me you seem to actually be transgendered, but society and its expectations you can't accept it and feel bad and try to cover it up. Also gender isn't binary. You don't have to act like a girl, neither like a guy. Just be yourself the way it feels comfortable in between. But hey, there is nothing wrong acting feminine and masculine in different situations, I used to do that too, and I'm pretty sure that I will keep doing it even after my treatments.
[QUOTE=Inufin;36433592]Visited my mom the other day. Found these on the table: [img]http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5z1siqjdg1qa76vro1_500.jpg[/img] [/quote] Don't go out and become the Queen of Pop now.
haven't been doing much lately aside from hanging out with friends.. I got m'self some makeup, new shoes and shit.
hello facepunch, the whole questioning part of this really fucking sucks and I hate it quite a lot. I'll refrain from posting any angst in here but I've been depressed for over two months 'cause this shit refuses to be figured out. Hooray.
[QUOTE=Xyzzy;36436713]hello facepunch, the whole questioning part of this really fucking sucks and I hate it quite a lot. I'll refrain from posting any angst in here but I've been depressed for over two months 'cause this shit refuses to be figured out. Hooray.[/QUOTE] yea questioning is probably the worst part
The only things I've done the last four days are drink, skate and watch Futureama.
[QUOTE=FPKawaii;36439722]The only things I've done the last four days are drink, skate and watch Futureama.[/QUOTE] You've been holding your breath for 4 days? Are you a witch?
burn the witch
[QUOTE=HorizoN;36441266]burn the witch[/QUOTE] It's the only way to be sure!
[video=youtube;zrzMhU_4m-g]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrzMhU_4m-g[/video]
So I had a doctor's appointment yesterday, told my doctor about my problems and got a referral to a therapist finally :v:
[QUOTE=wingless;36441290]It's the only way to be sure![/QUOTE] The only way to fight a Witch is to become a Magical Girl! Sign a contract with me right now and I'll make you one! [IMG]http://images.puella-magi.net/f/f7/Kyubey's_moving_tail.gif?20110517090400[/IMG]
[QUOTE=Skelmech;36441781]The only way to fight a Witch is to become a Magical Girl! Sign a contract with me right now and I'll make you one! [IMG]http://images.puella-magi.net/f/f7/Kyubey's_moving_tail.gif?20110517090400[/IMG][/QUOTE] not only do I get to be a girl but a [I]magical girl[/I]? sign me the fuck up
[QUOTE=Skelmech;36441781]The only way to fight a Witch is to become a Magical Girl! Sign a contract with me right now and I'll make you one! [IMG]http://images.puella-magi.net/f/f7/Kyubey's_moving_tail.gif?20110517090400[/IMG][/QUOTE] Bad stuff won't happen to me or my friends, right?
then it gets shot.
[QUOTE=Mr. Someguy;36441858]Bad stuff won't happen to me or my friends, right?[/QUOTE] No no, of course not! [QUOTE=Canter;36441836]not only do I get to be a girl but a [I]magical girl[/I]? sign me the fuck up[/QUOTE] What is it you wish to spend your soul on! [IMG_thumb]http://i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/005/616/qb.jpg[/IMG_thumb] Ok I'll stop now :v:
that face. its staring into my soul
[img]http://puu.sh/CQ65[/img]
[QUOTE=HorizoN;36442552]that face. its staring into my soul[/QUOTE] [IMG_thumb]http://puu.sh/CQm0[/IMG_thumb] S&#789;&#862;&#824;&#821;p&#832;&#861;e&#862;&#808;&#861;n&#847;&#847;d&#821;&#1161;&#820; &#1161;&#801;y&#863;&#832;&#863;&#795;&#860;o&#821;&#832;&#1161;&#801;&#822;u&#863;&#863;&#795;r&#823;&#807;&#864;&#808;&#833; &#860;&#847;&#808;s&#801;&#863;&#865;&#802;o&#820;&#847;&#824;&#864;u&#862;&#824;l&#801;&#795; (couldn't resist)
[QUOTE=J. Jett;36442632][img]http://puu.sh/CQ65[/img][/QUOTE] Yea [sp]Rukako is trans[/sp] which caught me by surprise [editline]22nd June 2012[/editline] Though i really should have seen it coming
Rukako looks cute. behold my inner weeaboo is expressing it's feelings.
[QUOTE=J. Jett;36442632] [IMG]http://puu.sh/CQ65[/IMG][/QUOTE] Oooo. Whats this?
[QUOTE=Liamhailhail2.0;36444036]Oooo. Whats this?[/QUOTE] Steins;Gate, a visual novel. It has a well-made anime adaption as well. If you choose to play the visual novel, though, I recommend playing Chaos;Head first (just oh god, not the anime adaption) because there are so many references.
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