Crossdressing/Transgender Megathread v. There is an unicorn under my dress.
10,001 replies, posted
[QUOTE=harpy;36481793]Hello, I'm new here! I've been observing this thread for a while (I read all of it, in fact).
Long introduction short, I am biologically male, but I am/really want to be a girl. I've been hiding all of that for ages on end, debating it out with myself and everything. There's been a ton of changes in my life recently which mainly include more independence and a lovely relationship. These have encouraged and motivated me to go and tell my mother about my feelings as I return home for summer holidays. When I told her, she immediately went on about sexuality and asked me super embarassing questions like had I had any sexual encounters and am I even through puberty yet (at 20, pfff). I tried to explain to her how I feel, how I hate myself and feel alien to my body and have stupid depressions and moodswings pretty frequently, but she just subverts the conversation into one about homosexuality instead. She even asked me "why can't you just be gay", and completely opposes transitioning :<
She said she'd get me a psychologist or something and I'm just thinking she doesn't understand me at all and hope that whoever I will end up seeing actually listens. Made me snap back into a terrible self-loathing mood that even ended up making my boyfriend mad afterward. It was awful. That being said, at least she didn't disown me or something so I guess there is still some hope. Everyone in this thread seems to be very friendly and understanding. Seeing how a lot of people seem to be in similar boats, I figured signing up here would not be a bad idea, so hi![/QUOTE]
I'm awful at giving support, but here goes.
A lot of parents feel like if there's a problem with their child its a reflection them and their skills as a parent. Once they understand this isn't a problem they will come around, and if your therapist is good they will try to educate your mother on the issue, or she'll even come to the realization herself, I dunno.
Point is, a bad first reaction doesn't necessarily mean she will oppose it forever, people can change. My two brothers used to be vehement homophobes and are now all for gay rights etc because of me, even though their initial reactions were bad.
[QUOTE=Inufin;36482170]Welcome, we are here to help, feel free to ask anything and talk about anything. :)
How much have you thought about working towards HRT and planning to live your life as a female?[/QUOTE]
Thanks :> In terms of directly working towards HRT I'm really not sure. I do hope I can somehow get started on it as soon as possible, but I've yet to actually talk to any doctor about that kind of thing. There's a reasonably large hospital near where I study over in the UK so I was going to check there once I return, after the holidays. Potentially relevant other things I've done so far include having started shaving my entire body and keeping at it, and stealthily purchasing a few articles of female clothing over the past two years. I try to practice my voice whenever I am alone, although I have a relatively high voice already anyway (fortunately!). I have also been working on posture. My hair has always been relatively long, too - I asked for a more feminine haircut the last time I went to a hair dresser as well, although what they did was relatively subtle. I've been reading up on things on the internet through various sources. There's still a lot I need to do, I figure, but I do try to do as much as I can think of doing at the moment.
[QUOTE=Inufin;36482170]Does your boyfriend know about this, how did he react? If your mother gets you to a therapist they are there to help, so if you feel like they are ignoring the real issue feel free to demand another therapist for gender issues instead of sexuality. (also who the fuck needs an therapist for being gay, honestly)[/QUOTE]
My boyfriend knows and is very supportive. He's almost like a safety net in a way, I don't think without him I would've managed to bring up the courage to tell my mother in the first place.
What I'm a bit worried about is if she is even getting a therapist. From what I've understood she really just wants to drag me to someone who doesn't actually specialise on that kind of thing, but I guess I'll see.
[QUOTE=Squeaken;36482516]I'm awful at giving support, but here goes.
A lot of parents feel like if there's a problem with their child its a reflection them and their skills as a parent. Once they understand this isn't a problem they will come around, and if your therapist is good they will try to educate your mother on the issue, or she'll even come to the realization herself, I dunno.
Point is, a bad first reaction doesn't necessarily mean she will oppose it forever, people can change. My two brothers used to be vehement homophobes and are now all for gay rights etc because of me, even though their initial reactions were bad.[/QUOTE]
I appreciate this, and I hope she will change her mind eventually. I think one of the first things I decided to do after talking to her was actually giving her time to think about it. I think she could've responded a lot worse, so I do think I am fortunate.
That being said, it feels a bit awkward to only talk about myself in the first two posts I've made, and I hope I'm not clogging up the thread or anything. I appreciate the warm welcome!
Man you're not clogging up anything (: Just post whenever you feel insecure andwant answer/support.
[QUOTE=harpy;36486318]Thanks :> In terms of directly working towards HRT I'm really not sure. I do hope I can somehow get started on it as soon as possible, but I've yet to actually talk to any doctor about that kind of thing. There's a reasonably large hospital near where I study over in the UK so I was going to check there once I return, after the holidays. Potentially relevant other things I've done so far include having started shaving my entire body and keeping at it, and stealthily purchasing a few articles of female clothing over the past two years. I try to practice my voice whenever I am alone, although I have a relatively high voice already anyway (fortunately!). I have also been working on posture. My hair has always been relatively long, too - I asked for a more feminine haircut the last time I went to a hair dresser as well, although what they did was relatively subtle. I've been reading up on things on the internet through various sources. There's still a lot I need to do, I figure, but I do try to do as much as I can think of doing at the moment.
My boyfriend knows and is very supportive. He's almost like a safety net in a way, I don't think without him I would've managed to bring up the courage to tell my mother in the first place.
What I'm a bit worried about is if she is even getting a therapist. From what I've understood she really just wants to drag me to someone who doesn't actually specialise on that kind of thing, but I guess I'll see.
I appreciate this, and I hope she will change her mind eventually. I think one of the first things I decided to do after talking to her was actually giving her time to think about it. I think she could've responded a lot worse, so I do think I am fortunate.
That being said, it feels a bit awkward to only talk about myself in the first two posts I've made, and I hope I'm not clogging up the thread or anything. I appreciate the warm welcome![/QUOTE]
i saw your posts and registered just to try helping you out. but where do you live? laws are different in every country, in the u.s. you've got a lot of different laws to figure out. u.k., canada, sweden, norway, etc. knowing where you live can help us find you help. i've seen some clogging up on some other forums that i won't bother link to [just in case this forum has some rules regarding advertising or something] and i think you're doing no clogging at all :)
you can just send me a message if you want so that way i don't clog up with little posts here and there
[editline]25th June 2012[/editline]
why does this place have such a horrible avatar size? is there any way to get larger ones? i don't like having to squish my pictures down to 60x60 :c
[QUOTE=Cotroxy;36488718]i saw your posts and registered just to try helping you out. but where do you live? laws are different in every country, in the u.s. you've got a lot of different laws to figure out. u.k., canada, sweden, norway, etc. knowing where you live can help us find you help. i've seen some clogging up on some other forums that i won't bother link to [just in case this forum has some rules regarding advertising or something] and i think you're doing no clogging at all :)[/QUOTE]
Wow! Thank you! I would be quite interested in learning how HRT prescription and laws and things like that work for the countries I live in. I study in the south of the UK, but technically still live in Germany. I'm not entirely sure where I'll end up going in the future though, that being said. Most of this year and the next year I'll be living in the UK.
Edit: The page before actually sort of covers at least the HRT part, whoops. I feel pretty oblivious now!
[QUOTE=harpy;36489213]Wow! Thank you! I would be quite interested in learning how HRT prescription and laws and things like that work for the countries I live in. I study in the south of the UK, but technically still live in Germany. I'm not entirely sure where I'll end up going in the future though, that being said. Most of this year and the next year I'll be living in the UK.[/QUOTE]
i don't know much about the u.k.
but i heard you had to jump through a ton of hoops with the nhs or something. there are a few ukers in here that could help you i'm sure.
Sorry for adruptlingly changing topic like this but when I took a shower today I got a question I were thinking bout...
TG people want to be the opposite gender obviously, male want to be female and female male... But I've seen some now wanting to go all out keeping the genitals. I was thinking if you want to be female for example why don't you remove your penis and get an artifical vagina instead? Wouldn't that be like the dot over the i? just wondering, sorry if I offend anyone with my silly question.
[QUOTE=iRager;36494857]Sorry for adruptlingly changing topic like this but when I took a shower today I got a question I were thinking bout...
TG people want to be the opposite gender obviously, male want to be female and female male... But I've seen some now wanting to go all out keeping the genitals. I was thinking if you want to be female for example why don't you remove your penis and get an artifical vagina instead? Wouldn't that be like the dot over the i? just wondering, sorry if I offend anyone with my silly question.[/QUOTE]
A lot of reasons, some people just wont get surgery on their genitals, some people just don't feel it necessary, some people might not feel that artificial genitals are 'real'. Some people just want surgery for the outward appearance rather than sexual. Everyone feels differently about surgery and transgenderism, there's no real correct idea.
I am 100% in living my life as a female and starting hormones etc, but I still haven't decided what to do with genital surgery. There is just many pros and cons for both options... I still have like 2½years until I actually have to decide so I try not to worry myself from it.
[QUOTE=iRager;36494857]Sorry for adruptlingly changing topic like this but when I took a shower today I got a question I were thinking bout...
TG people want to be the opposite gender obviously, male want to be female and female male... But I've seen some now wanting to go all out keeping the genitals. I was thinking if you want to be female for example why don't you remove your penis and get an artifical vagina instead? Wouldn't that be like the dot over the i? just wondering, sorry if I offend anyone with my silly question.[/QUOTE]
The problem with reassignment surgery for me is plenty of reasons:
First of all, out of all the research I've done (which might not be 100% correct), it takes away/lessens your ability to enjoy sex, I'm not sure if that's true, but the idea of that drastically puts me off as sex is a big part of my life.
Then, it's expensive. I just wouldn't be able to afford it on top of everything else.
Then there's the fact that while I hate my image as a boy, hate being seen as a boy, and hate having to fake acting like a boy while my penis is pretty much irrelevant to how I want people to see me, since that's one thing I [I]can[/I] keep concealed.
[QUOTE=Inufin;36494956]I am 100% in living my life as a female and starting hormones etc, but I still haven't decided what to do with genital surgery. There is just many pros and cons for both options... I still have like 2½years until I actually have to decide so I try not to worry myself from it.[/QUOTE]
i say keep the penis
mainly because i like penises, and because that surgery looks painful as fuck. i've had by ballsack ripped open before, but god damn that looks like it'd hurt, getting it split down the middle ughguhgh;auuwif;n
but it's your decision, do what you know will make you happy <3
[QUOTE=Neat!;36495501]
i've had by ballsack ripped open before
[/QUOTE]
I don't even have balls and that made me cringe @__@
[QUOTE='Rain [Amber];36495675']I don't even have balls and that made me cringe @__@[/QUOTE]
never drunk wrestle after eating four cows worth of meat, after swimming laps for two hours and doing a pullup contest
the nut literally was twisted off from stress
i am now dyson, the uni-ball
[QUOTE=Neat!;36495704]never drunk wrestle after eating four cows worth of meat, after swimming laps for two hours and doing a pullup contest
the nut literally was twisted off from stress
i am now dyson, the uni-ball[/QUOTE]
Oh god, I feel sick.
[QUOTE=Canter;36494969]The problem with reassignment surgery for me is plenty of reasons:
First of all, out of all the research I've done (which might not be 100% correct), it takes away/lessens your ability to enjoy sex, I'm not sure if that's true, but the idea of that drastically puts me off as sex is a big part of my life.
Then, it's expensive. I just wouldn't be able to afford it on top of everything else.
Then there's the fact that while I hate my image as a boy, hate being seen as a boy, and hate having to fake acting like a boy while my penis is pretty much irrelevant to how I want people to see me, since that's one thing I [I]can[/I] keep concealed.[/QUOTE]
Anything you've heard about losing sensitivity is most likely false. Transwomen who undergo surgery widely report positive results. It's a relatively safe operation, when you have a doctor who is well experienced.
If you're in the U.S., some insurance agencies are starting to pay for at least part of the surgery as long as you are officially diagnosed with GID. Most other western nations should have some sort of payment options, so look into that.
The penis issue can be kind of unnerving when wearing tighter clothing. Sure, you can tuck, but it becomes extremely uncomfortable, and could undo itself after some walking and sitting. And that becomes an issue.
Also, there's the whole sex thing. People can be weirded out by a penis being where it typically isn't. A lot of people here like to romanticize the whole "~they should love me for who I am~" ideal, but that usually falls on its face when it comes to legitimate relationships. Decent people will care about your genitals too, if they are in a relationship with you, and finding somebody who can accept a woman with a penis can be incredibly difficult.
[QUOTE=Canter;36494969]The problem with reassignment surgery for me is plenty of reasons:
First of all, out of all the research I've done (which might not be 100% correct), it takes away/lessens your ability to enjoy sex, I'm not sure if that's true, but the idea of that drastically puts me off as sex is a big part of my life.
Then, it's expensive. I just wouldn't be able to afford it on top of everything else.
Then there's the fact that while I hate my image as a boy, hate being seen as a boy, and hate having to fake acting like a boy while my penis is pretty much irrelevant to how I want people to see me, since that's one thing I [I]can[/I] keep concealed.[/QUOTE]
i have no idea where you're getting the lessening/taking away of the feeling of sex. afaik a lot of t-women can enjoy sex as much as a 'real' woman.
[QUOTE=Cotroxy;36496658]i have no idea where you're getting the lessening/taking away of the feeling of sex. afaik a lot of t-women can enjoy sex as much as a 'real' woman.[/QUOTE]
I think it is just natural to be scared that you might lose feeling. And yeah I have seen the surgery and even though I know that if it is done properly you can enjoy sex, but I am scared that something might go wrong.
[editline]26th June 2012[/editline]
Surgery scares me. :c
[QUOTE=Inufin;36496743]I think it is just natural to be scared that you might lose feeling. And yeah I have seen the surgery and even though I know that if it is done properly you can enjoy sex, but I am scared that something might go wrong.
[editline]26th June 2012[/editline]
Surgery scares me. :c[/QUOTE]
you have trained professionals that have been working on people like you for [i]years[/i]. you can worry about complications, but they happen so rarely that you probably won't be 'the one'
I find it funny how removing the penis has transformed over many centuries from a painful torture into a surgical procedure to consider whilst transgender and it now costs money.
[QUOTE=Chopstick;36500420]I find it funny how removing the penis has transformed over many centuries from a painful torture into a surgical procedure to consider whilst transgender and it now costs money.[/QUOTE]
It's not removed.
It isn't? I haven't looked at it because those kinds of videos make me sick. Still sounds painful.
[QUOTE=Chopstick;36501277]It isn't? I haven't looked at it because those kinds of videos make me sick. Still sounds painful.[/QUOTE]
It's as painful as normal surgery is, you're under anesthesia. You'll go in, get jabbed with a needle (or gassed) and wake up however many hours later.
[QUOTE=Chopstick;36501277]It isn't? I haven't looked at it because those kinds of videos make me sick. Still sounds painful.[/QUOTE]
I would say 'recycled' is a better word, where do you think they get the tissue to create lady parts?
[QUOTE=Mr. Someguy;36502133]I would say 'recycled' is a better word, where do you think they get the tissue to create lady parts?[/QUOTE]
You just blew his mind in ways he didn't know about.
[QUOTE=Mr. Someguy;36502133]I would say 'recycled' is a better word, where do you think they get the tissue to create lady parts?[/QUOTE]
Most people still seem to be under the assumption that it is simply removed, and the patient is left with a hole in their groin.
Considering the process that was going through my mind a while ago I thought the penis would be removed then a surgeon cuts away inside to make a vagina and uses skins from other body parts.
Looks like there's a lot more surgeons in this thread than I know.
I actually came to this thread in hopes of finding out if there's a way to remove my groin hair because it's got out of hand again and wanted a method that's safer than scissors and shaving.
Hair removal cream can be pretty effective, but take into account skin sensitivity before using it for extended periods. And bear in mind, like shaving, it's only a very short term solution.
[QUOTE=Chopstick;36505803]Considering the process that was going through my mind a while ago I thought the penis would be removed then a surgeon cuts away inside to make a vagina and uses skins from other body parts.
Looks like there's a lot more surgeons in this thread than I know.
I actually came to this thread in hopes of finding out if there's a way to remove my groin hair because it's got out of hand again and wanted a method that's safer than scissors and shaving.[/QUOTE]
They use the skin and nerves from the penis and reform it into the parts that make up a vagina. It's fully functional and looks and behaves just as a natural one would. The penis and vagina are naturally made up of the exact same materials, so the surgery is very efficient.
And you're better off sticking to scissors and shaving. Anything else is going to create some painful experiences, unless you want to spend thousands of dollars on laser removal.
[QUOTE=Neat!;36495704]never drunk wrestle after eating four cows worth of meat, after swimming laps for two hours and doing a pullup contest
the nut literally was twisted off from stress
i am now dyson, the uni-ball[/QUOTE]
D':
[QUOTE=Riodoku;36506589]It's fully functional and looks and behaves just as a natural one would.[/QUOTE]
That isn't exactly true. It isn't full functional. It looks like one but doesn't function identically to one. There's still many things that surgery can't solve such as giving someone a working reproductive system from their preferred gender.
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