Crossdressing/Transgender Megathread v. There is an unicorn under my dress.
10,001 replies, posted
[QUOTE=J. Jett;35482554]That's bullshit. There are many different girls - super-girly girls, normal girls, butch girls, whatever girls. If butch cis-gender girls exist, so do butch trans-girls. Your therapist is very uneducated and is an idiot.[/QUOTE]
it's unfortunate but there isn't much they can do about it.
[QUOTE=Tattimatonen;35482076]Alright so my therapist thinks I'm not depressed enough to be transgender. It's not like hiding it for 8-9 years has made me pretty much stone cold to all emotions or anything. Also apparently I have to be super girly to be trans?[/QUOTE]"be more depressed, you're not trans enough" is what i'm getting out of that
what a crock of shit. There's no right way to be a woman, a man, a transperson. Telling a client they aren't depressed enough is probably the last thing you should do as a therapist as well
Well this is the only place in Finland where I can realistically go to so I need to convince them somehow. I mean should I go out in female clothing in an obviously male body? I doubt the public reception would be very good.
well, there has to be something you can do.
Been opening up to a few friends about this lately, Told two irl friends and they took it fine and were really supportive about it, I ended up not talking about this to my mother but she knows it is related to me being transgender now.
me: I'm bad at making decisions, at the moment, it would feel as the only right choice.. but I am afraid that I will regret it later
friend: well that means that you aren't ready yet. You have to think about it properly. You have your whole life to decide
Is it true that it is never too late to start the sex change?
[QUOTE=Inufin;35482832]Been opening up to a few friends about this lately, Told two irl friends and they took it fine and were really supportive about it, I ended up not talking about this to my mother but she knows it is related to me being transgender now.
me: I'm bad at making decisions, at the moment, it would feel as the only right choice.. but I am afraid that I will regret it later
friend: well that means that you aren't ready yet. You have to think about it properly. You have your whole life to decide
Is it true that it is never too late to start the sex change?[/QUOTE]
I have those feelings of regret too. I think you're going to have them all the time. You need a therapist. And yeah, you can start any time you want but, of course, the younger you are the better.
I'm really starting to dislike the negative attitudes in this thread. Stop the self-deprecation, it's not going to help anything. You can't rely on the hormones to get you where you want to be, YOU have to take yourself there. If you're tired of people using male pronouns around you, do something about it. Wear your clothes out in public, and stop being so afraid. If you want to be seen as female, you must present yourself as female. And that has to start at some point.
Girls come in all shapes and sizes and varieties, nobody is going to suspect anything unless you're wearing lingerie in public.
If you don't have all the things you need to present yourself as a girl, improvise. Don't have fake breasts? Get a bra and stuff it with old socks. Are your hips too narrow? Roll up some boxers and put them in the sides of your pants. There are tons of things you can do to make things better, and continuing to present yourself as male is not one of them.
[QUOTE=Tattimatonen;35482767]Well this is the only place in Finland where I can realistically go to so I need to convince them somehow. I mean should I go out in female clothing in an obviously male body? I doubt the public reception would be very good.[/QUOTE]
Yes, showing them that you already live in your desired role plays hugely into convincing them.
What are the rules and regulations regarding transsexuality over in Scandinavia, anyway? I would have assumed they were pretty liberal about it, but I've heard that there's a lot of negativity towards trans-people over there.
[QUOTE=Inufin;35482832]
Is it true that it is never too late to start the sex change?[/QUOTE]
The sex change is actually better if done pre-hormones. Estrogen will shrink the male genitals, and thus there is less material to work with.
[QUOTE=Triumph Forks;35482644]"be more depressed, you're not trans enough" is what i'm getting out of that
what a crock of shit. There's no right way to be a woman, a man, a transperson. Telling a client they aren't depressed enough is probably the last thing you should do as a therapist as well[/QUOTE]
I've heard people who have been told they're "not trans enough"... it's complete rubbish...
For anyone who feels like this, watch this video, it helped me a lot cos I could relate to quite a bit of it :)
[url]http://nicholassteer.tumblr.com/post/18006500732/wow-this-made-me-feel-really-good-about-myself-d[/url]
[QUOTE=Riodoku;35482951]Wear your clothes out in public[/QUOTE]
what clothes?
[QUOTE=HorizoN;35482983]what clothes?[/QUOTE]
So get some.
with what money?
[QUOTE=Riodoku;35482951]I'm really starting to dislike the negative attitudes in this thread. Stop the self-deprecation, it's not going to help anything. You can't rely on the hormones to get you where you want to be, YOU have to take yourself there. If you're tired of people using male pronouns around you, do something about it.[/QUOTE]
Well it's not my style to wear super-feminine clothing. I mean I wear girl's pants geez
[QUOTE=Riodoku;35482951]What are the rules and regulations regarding transsexuality over in Scandinavia, anyway? I would have assumed they were pretty liberal about it, but I've heard that there's a lot of negativity towards trans-people over there.
[/QUOTE]
You actually have to be sterile to get a gender change on legal documents, which is completely silly.
[editline]8th April 2012[/editline]
Unless the laws have recently changed, which I doubt.
awlrighty, i'm going to head to bed. good luck in figuring out a way to talk to your therapist.
[QUOTE=Tattimatonen;35483048]Well it's not my style to wear super-feminine clothing. I mean I wear girl's pants geez[/QUOTE]
There's still a lot you can do there. Just wear some more colorful shirts, add a bra and stuff it.
[QUOTE=Tattimatonen;35483048]You actually have to be sterile to get a gender change on legal documents, which is completely silly.
[editline]8th April 2012[/editline]
Unless the laws have recently changed, which I doubt.[/QUOTE]
Well, that's kind of true everywhere. I mean, you have to have the operation in most parts of the world, and that's pretty much completely ending the ability to reproduce.
[QUOTE=HorizoN;35483047]with what money?[/QUOTE]
Jesus. Sell old possessions, do some work for neighbors, save up money you get from holidays and other events, or see if your friends can help out.
[QUOTE=LonelyTimeLord;35482958]I've heard people who have been told they're "not trans enough"... it's complete rubbish...
For anyone who feels like this, watch this video, it helped me a lot cos I could relate to quite a bit of it :)
[url]http://nicholassteer.tumblr.com/post/18006500732/wow-this-made-me-feel-really-good-about-myself-d[/url][/QUOTE]
very true, I'm not overly girlish but I know who I am and what I want to do. I'll say that I'm a bit nervous about effing up my appointment, but I feel I'm not in the wrong for having gone through male conditioning, that what led me to where I am should make sense to a trained professional.
Pretty spot-on vid too
[QUOTE=HorizoN;35483047]with what money?[/QUOTE]
Holiday, Birthday, Job (I'm aware of how bad the Canadian youth unemployment rate is, but that doesn't mean you can't try) and shop thrift?
Being proactive really can be helpful
[QUOTE=Triumph Forks;35483187]Holiday, Birthday, Job (I'm aware of how bad the Canadian youth unemployment rate is, but that doesn't mean you can't try) and shop thrift?
Being proactive really can be helpful[/QUOTE]
my birthday was a few months ago back in january. christmas is a long ways off and there aren't any jobs here. besides even then i'm too uncomfortable with myself to actually handle talking to people.
[editline]8th April 2012[/editline]
oh, i couldn't sleep by the way
I just wish I could have a normal life. I'm already having enough problems and going through a sex change now would mess up everything even more. My social relationships right now aren't too good and I can't afford to people to see me as weird and potentially lose more friends. (I just lost two of my most important people for things slightly related to this so I am seriously scared, and saying "they weren't your real friends doesn't help")
I'm also really scared about using medicine, it took me 4 years for doctors to persuade me to start taking antidepressants and I admit, I clearly should have started it before. I don't even take painkillers, I just can't I'm scared that I abuse them like I did before. Just seeing my tablets on my table scares me that if I flip out I might do anything and I can't stop myself. Going through a surgery is something I wish to never experience, I am so scared of it. Modifying my body is so scary, I don't want to ruin it, I just wish I could learn to live like the way I am. Maybe this is just a stage in my life, even though it has been going on for as long as I remember. Being an artificial girl just feels wrong. I don't want to crossdress because I just feel wrong doing it knowing that I am not a real girl. Fuck, I will never be able to give birth. It's just something that makes me so sad.
I appreciate the support and information I have received, but I will have to live with this and for now I decide to keep being my androgynous self. I find it hard to make decisions and I change my mind way too often and I am really scared about anything that might go wrong and if I change my mind later I will hate myself even more than I do now.
Feel free to PM me, I love talking to you people and I know how important it is for me to receive support while I give my support to you.
I just wanted to get this out of my system, sorry.
[B]Please don't say anything negative about this post, I feel really vulnerable right now.[/B]
we're running out of hearts!
youre all fucking sick. pathetic excuses for men, you should all be castrated and then suffer when you realize you dont want to be a woman after all. stupid twats.
[QUOTE=Inufin;35483424]I just wish I could have a normal life. I'm already having enough problems and going through a sex change now would mess up everything even more. My social relationships right now aren't too good and I can't afford to people to see me as weird and potentially lose more friends. (I just lost two of my most important people for things slightly related to this so I am seriously scared, and saying "they weren't your real friends doesn't help")
I'm also really scared about using medicine, it took me 4 years for doctors to persuade me to start taking antidepressants and I admit, I clearly should have started it before. I don't even take painkillers, I just can't I'm scared that I abuse them like I did before. Just seeing my tablets on my table scares me that if I flip out I might do anything and I can't stop myself. Going through a surgery is something I wish to never experience, I am so scared of it. Modifying my body is so scary, I don't want to ruin it, I just wish I could learn to live like the way I am. Maybe this is just a stage in my life, even though it has been going on for as long as I remember. Being an artificial girl just feels wrong. I don't want to crossdress because I just feel wrong doing it knowing that I am not a real girl. Fuck, I will never be able to give birth. It's just something that makes me so sad.
I appreciate the support and information I have received, but I will have to live with this and for now I decide to keep being my androgynous self. I find it hard to make decisions and I change my mind way too often and I am really scared about anything that might go wrong and if I change my mind later I will hate myself even more than I do now.
Feel free to PM me, I love talking to you people and I know how important it is for me to receive support while I give my support to you.
I just wanted to get this out of my system, sorry.
[B]Please don't say anything negative about this post, I feel really vulnerable right now.[/B][/QUOTE]
Surgery is not at all a requirement, and there's no reason for you to go through it if it's not what you want. Do you not have a therapist that you can talk these issues through with?
[QUOTE=PhoebisnFurb;35483500]youre all fucking sick. pathetic excuses for men, you should all be castrated and then suffer when you realize you dont want to be a woman after all. stupid twats.[/QUOTE]
I agree. Come, let's go away, you and I. We can be away from all of this. Be my lover.
[QUOTE=Riodoku;35483581]Surgery is not at all a requirement, and there's no reason for you to go through it if it's not what you want.[/QUOTE]
What is the point of starting hormones if I don't plan to finish the sex change?
Also, received a hate mail from that guy who just got banned, it was so ridiculous that it actually made me laugh. I was going to share it but maybe I shouldn't.
[QUOTE=Riodoku;35483145]Jesus. Sell old possessions, do some work for neighbors, save up money you get from holidays and other events, or see if your friends can help out.[/QUOTE]
i hate to say this but i have almost no possessions worth a sum of money that'd be worth the effort needed to sell them off. my friends are also poor as fuck and i wouldn't even consider them friends anyway [remember that guy who called me a tranny?]
holidays are a long ways off and my birthday already passed months ago.
not to mention my neighbours are fucking assholes who drill stuff into the wall at night, have their dog bark insanely loud and call us assholes for whatever reason they can conjure up.
[editline]8th April 2012[/editline]
i'll find money though thats for sure!
Sell your neighbors.
could try that.
any recommendations for knocking them out first?
[QUOTE=Inufin;35483605]What is the point of starting hormones if I don't plan to finish the sex change?
Also, received a hate mail from that guy who just got banned, it was so ridiculous that it actually made me laugh. I was going to share it but maybe I shouldn't.[/QUOTE]
Getting breasts and a more feminine body, and having a correct view of yourself. Transitioning is very often done without the sex change. You don't need it.
And yes, share it. Please.
[QUOTE=HorizoN;35483679]i hate to say this but i have almost no possessions worth a sum of money that'd be worth the effort needed to sell them off. my friends are also poor as fuck and i wouldn't even consider them friends anyway [remember that guy who called me a tranny?]
holidays are a long ways off and my birthday already passed months ago.
not to mention my neighbours are fucking assholes who drill stuff into the wall at night, have their dog bark insanely loud and call us assholes for whatever reason they can conjure up.
[editline]8th April 2012[/editline]
i'll find money though thats for sure![/QUOTE]
You can sell old clothes, even. Have a personal yard sale, and go shopping at a thrift store.
[QUOTE=Riodoku;35483985]You can sell old clothes, even. Have a personal yard sale, and go shopping at a thrift store.[/QUOTE]
gee i can sell what little clothing i have!
what on earth would i wear for the rest of the year? i dont have much in the way of clothing.
[editline]8th April 2012[/editline]
actually you know what i'm being an idiot. i'll stop now.
Don't you guys ever worry of regretting it? I had a big surgery 4 years ago that went wrong (not to do with sex changes, it was to do with a facial feature that I needed fixed [not just for cosmetical reasons, it was also giving me problems due to blood flow blah blah long story]) that I didn't even need to begin with. I was 15 at the time and self-conscious and made a big issue out of something that wasn't even there.
Four years. Four years I've lived with my problem and I regret every day of it. I look in the mirror, and my face isn't mine. Being on hormones is a big deal and I don't know how you guys are able to use them, cause it's freaking scary looking in the mirror and seeing someone you're not looking back. It can severely mess you up, psychologically speaking. I would know!
[QUOTE=loopoo;35484116]Don't you guys ever worry of regretting it? I had a big surgery 4 years ago that went wrong (not to do with sex changes, it was to do with a facial feature that I needed fixed [not just for cosmetical reasons, it was also giving me problems due to blood flow blah blah long story]) that I didn't even need to begin with. I was 15 at the time and self-conscious and made a big issue out of something that wasn't even there.
Four years. Four years I've lived with my problem and I regret every day of it. I look in the mirror, and my face isn't mine. Being on hormones is a big deal and I don't know how you guys are able to use them, cause it's freaking scary looking in the mirror and seeing someone you're not looking back. It can severely mess you up, psychologically speaking. I would know![/QUOTE]
I've heard some trans people regretting it but I highly doubt it. I think if you feel like your own face isn't yours and you take the steps to transition, you'll be happy about yourself.
[QUOTE=loopoo;35484116] Being on hormones is a big deal and I don't know how you guys are able to use them, cause it's freaking scary looking in the mirror and seeing someone you're not looking back. It can severely mess you up, psychologically speaking. I would know![/QUOTE]
That's how many trans people feel BEFORE transitioning.
[QUOTE=loopoo;35484116]Don't you guys ever worry of regretting it? I had a big surgery 4 years ago that went wrong (not to do with sex changes, it was to do with a facial feature that I needed fixed [not just for cosmetical reasons, it was also giving me problems due to blood flow blah blah long story]) that I didn't even need to begin with. I was 15 at the time and self-conscious and made a big issue out of something that wasn't even there.
Four years. Four years I've lived with my problem and I regret every day of it. I look in the mirror, and my face isn't mine. Being on hormones is a big deal and I don't know how you guys are able to use them, cause it's freaking scary looking in the mirror and seeing someone you're not looking back. It can severely mess you up, psychologically speaking. I would know![/QUOTE]
Sorry about what happened, but that's why there's so many things in doing this, therapy and such.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.